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Thread: A Night of Street Mythology

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    A Night of Street Mythology 
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    One night me and my boy were looking too get fucked up... He had a gram of Red Rock Opium and a couple of ecstasy pills. We decided we wanted our night to kick extra ass so we made a quick trip to the grocery store and came back with a few pounds of bananas, some cat nip, a small bag of coffee, and some ky jelly(none of your business what that was for).

    I did a quick cold water extraction to get the heroin out of the ecstasy, and then we drank the purified liquid X.

    Meanwhile, my boy had been peeling the bananas. He boiled those for a long, long time until all that was left was a brown goo in the bottom of the pan.

    We were starting to get really speedy from the X because all the crank and cocaine was still in it, since we had removed only the heroin so we ran around the house like crazy for a minute. Then we went outside to roll down this huge hill, cuz I had always wanted to try rolling.

    We decided we wanted to mellow out so we crushed up some of the red rock opium on top of the catnip. Now catnip by itself is just like weed, but with the red rock opium, it will take you to another world. I started to get mild visuals and was way too relaxed to move for a little while.

    Me and my friend are straight except when we are on X, and then we automatically turn gay because of its empathogenic qualities. Ooops, did I just let slip what we used the ky jelly for? oh well.
    So about this time the banana goo is done. I'm way too mellow from the catnip and opium to move, so my friend loads up the bong with the coffee grinds. A few hits and we are skyrocketing again. All the visuals have increased and I realize that 2+2=4 by counting my toes. It is the most profound thing I've ever thought and I had to write it down so I would remember it.

    We run into the kitchen and gather up the banana goo into a bowl and stick it in the microwave to dry it out more. While its heating up, aliens telecommunicate a message to me telling me how the government uses microwaves to brainwash its citizens so we get the banana gunk out and take the microwave outside and bash it with baseball bats.

    We come back in and take 100,000 mgs of Vitamin C so that we will trip harder. I puked four times but I think I got a lot of it down. My friend puts on some M.C. Hammer to trip to. I love Hammer cuz the beats are so phat and lyrics so deep. "2 Legit 2 Quit" How is that for introspection?

    Suddenly I realize something. I run upstairs to check and come back down. "Dude," I tell my boy, "Your opium looks and smells exactly like this dragon's blood incense. Do you realize you can get this stuff for like $5 on the internet? Its hella cheap dude. Those incense people are so smart. They've been smuggling opium into this country for years man."

    We think on that while he loads the bong with the banana stuff. Now, I don't know if any of you have tried banana peel, but its called Mellow Yellow, and that name is so wrong. This shit is just like DMT. It should be called DbananaMT!!

    I take one puff of it and I am off in fairy land. I have this magickal dragon in banana land named Chiquita. Chiquita flies me all over and teaches me things about the universe. This time Chiquita showed me the Magickal Diamond that confuses all humans into thinking the world is round when really its flat. The reason we have forgotten is because before the Middle Ages, people smoked banana peels all the time and Chiquita used to show all of them too. But now banana smoking is a lost art.

    Anyways, I started to come down, and realized I was still tripping really hard from the X and the opium and everything, and this little green man chased me all over the house. After I pulled all of the spiders off of my skin, I decided I needed something to bring me down so I could sleep. So I took some Vitamin B and drank the heroin we had extracted from the ecstasy.

    My skin flushed and all the drugs were purged from my system as it evaporated into the etheric realm.

    I had the most wonderful dreams of riding my yellow dragon all night.

    (Hope you guys have a sense of humor. If I offended anyone just delete this or something. Sorry!)

    Love,
    Pure
    ------------------
    Intelligence is not best measured by the answers you have but by the questions that you ask


    [edited - paragraphing]
    Last edited by PsychoKitten; 04-01-2004 at 10:34.
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    #2
    Bluelighter
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    ROFLMAO!!!
    *wipes tears from cheeks*
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    #3
    Wink
    I am highly offended, sir! This is not a place for fun and games!
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    #4
    Bluelighter
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    now that is comedy! bravo, pure!
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    #5
    Bluelighter
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    Thumbs up
    LoL
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    #6
    Bluelighter
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    At first I thought you were some kind of freak... but then I realised, F'ING HILARIOUS
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    Go hard or go home
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    #7
    Bluelighter nowonmai's Avatar
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    hehehhee!!! Nice one!!! But I reckon you should have had a hit or two of peanut skins to really sharpen the buzz...
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    #8
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    Damn, I knew there was something we forgot to buy that night. I love peanut skins : )
    LOL
    ------------------
    Intelligence is not best measured by the answers you have but by the questions that you ask
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    #9
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    bump
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    #10
    Bluelighter
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    Ninja
    LOL - You have made my day..... that is the funniest thing i've read in ages.
    I think your talents are wasted.
    Cheers!
    ------------------
    The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice - there is little we can do to change until we notice - how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.
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    #11
    Bluelighter
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    Red rock opium.....funny...
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    #12
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    Comedic Gold.
    -Astian
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    #13
    Bluelighter
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    I was just thinking about how damn funny this post was the first time round... Well done for the bump!
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    #14
    Talking
    Dear God this is one of the funniest things I've ever read! Su-fucking-perb!
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    If you get a tin that says "does what it says on the tin", what does it do?
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    #15
    Bluelighter
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    OMG..that was toooo funny....
    LMFAO
    kschick25
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    #16
    Talking
    rofl.
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    #17
    Bluelighter
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    Excelent....Superb...I luaghed untill I cried I gotta read this one again.
    Hugs and Smiles
    Randy
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    #18
    Bluelighter Coreo*~'s Avatar
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    LMFAO!!!!!!!
    That was great. I needed a good laugh sitting here bored out of my mind at work. Really that was terrific!
    Coreo
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    #19
    Bluelighter
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    ROTFLMFAO
    Pure...that is too damn funny!!!
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    #20
    Bluelight Crew jerzeezfinest's Avatar
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    ohmygod.... that is some of the funniest ish i've read in a long ass time--i've had a rough day, thanx for makin me laugh! ;-)
    ------------------
    *cassidy*
    "the purpose of words is to convey a message--after the idea is grasped, the words are forgotten--where is a man who forgot all the words? it is he who i wish to speak to"
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    #21
    Talking
    LOLOL!
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    #22
    Bluelighter
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    O.K., I must say this is the most rediculous story I have read in my whole life. For one thing, ecstasy does not, and I mean, DOES NOT, contain heroin. Put it this way, if it did, you wouldn't be getting pills for as cheap as you did. And another, I smoke a lot of really good opium, because it is kind of one of my favorite things to do besides X, but if you did smoke red rock opium, you would of passed the fuck out for sure. Opium is a really fucking hard core downer, and downer is the key word. Remember....ecstasy is MDMA and/or amphetamines.
    [This message has been edited by CaNdYkIdD (edited 26 July 2001).]
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    #23
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    Its so funny when they dont get the joke : )
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    What is freedom? I don't know anymore. Its something so far removed from anything I've ever experienced that I'm not sure I can even comprehend it. Make Freedom A Reality
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    #24
    Bluelighter THR!'s Avatar
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    Wink
    Especially when there have been so many replies which make it quite obvious...
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    #25
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    LMAO!
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