One night me and my boy were looking too get fucked up... He had a gram of Red Rock Opium and a couple of ecstasy pills. We decided we wanted our night to kick extra ass so we made a quick trip to the grocery store and came back with a few pounds of bananas, some cat nip, a small bag of coffee, and some ky jelly(none of your business what that was for).
I did a quick cold water extraction to get the heroin out of the ecstasy, and then we drank the purified liquid X.
Meanwhile, my boy had been peeling the bananas. He boiled those for a long, long time until all that was left was a brown goo in the bottom of the pan.
We were starting to get really speedy from the X because all the crank and cocaine was still in it, since we had removed only the heroin so we ran around the house like crazy for a minute. Then we went outside to roll down this huge hill, cuz I had always wanted to try rolling.
We decided we wanted to mellow out so we crushed up some of the red rock opium on top of the catnip. Now catnip by itself is just like weed, but with the red rock opium, it will take you to another world. I started to get mild visuals and was way too relaxed to move for a little while.
Me and my friend are straight except when we are on X, and then we automatically turn gay because of its empathogenic qualities. Ooops, did I just let slip what we used the ky jelly for? oh well.
So about this time the banana goo is done. I'm way too mellow from the catnip and opium to move, so my friend loads up the bong with the coffee grinds. A few hits and we are skyrocketing again. All the visuals have increased and I realize that 2+2=4 by counting my toes. It is the most profound thing I've ever thought and I had to write it down so I would remember it.
We run into the kitchen and gather up the banana goo into a bowl and stick it in the microwave to dry it out more. While its heating up, aliens telecommunicate a message to me telling me how the government uses microwaves to brainwash its citizens so we get the banana gunk out and take the microwave outside and bash it with baseball bats.
We come back in and take 100,000 mgs of Vitamin C so that we will trip harder. I puked four times but I think I got a lot of it down. My friend puts on some M.C. Hammer to trip to. I love Hammer cuz the beats are so phat and lyrics so deep. "2 Legit 2 Quit" How is that for introspection?
Suddenly I realize something. I run upstairs to check and come back down. "Dude," I tell my boy, "Your opium looks and smells exactly like this dragon's blood incense. Do you realize you can get this stuff for like $5 on the internet? Its hella cheap dude. Those incense people are so smart. They've been smuggling opium into this country for years man."
We think on that while he loads the bong with the banana stuff. Now, I don't know if any of you have tried banana peel, but its called Mellow Yellow, and that name is so wrong. This shit is just like DMT. It should be called DbananaMT!!
I take one puff of it and I am off in fairy land. I have this magickal dragon in banana land named Chiquita. Chiquita flies me all over and teaches me things about the universe. This time Chiquita showed me the Magickal Diamond that confuses all humans into thinking the world is round when really its flat. The reason we have forgotten is because before the Middle Ages, people smoked banana peels all the time and Chiquita used to show all of them too. But now banana smoking is a lost art.
Anyways, I started to come down, and realized I was still tripping really hard from the X and the opium and everything, and this little green man chased me all over the house. After I pulled all of the spiders off of my skin, I decided I needed something to bring me down so I could sleep. So I took some Vitamin B and drank the heroin we had extracted from the ecstasy.
My skin flushed and all the drugs were purged from my system as it evaporated into the etheric realm.
I had the most wonderful dreams of riding my yellow dragon all night.
(Hope you guys have a sense of humor. If I offended anyone just delete this or something. Sorry!)
Intelligence is not best measured by the answers you have but by the questions that you ask
[edited - paragraphing]