Quote Originally Posted by Halif2 View Post
Sounds like you're checking all the right boxes in your recovery journey, crankinit. When I read your comments about jumping off subs a few months back I got the feeling that you were in a very realistic headspace and ready to see it through. It's great to hear that it's going very well.

I understand why you wouldn't use Bluelight much - reading and writing about drugs is the last thing you want to do while going through a marathon opioid withdrawal - but I hope that you will hang around and just check in now and then. You have a lot to contribute.
Thanks man - the bluelight thing is a bit weird atm. Doing a lot of work to figure out where I fall on all the drug stuff now that I've (I think, I'm pretty sure) moved past my love affair with opiates. Not sure if I want to try and take all my drug geek/HR knowledge and try parley that into some kind of real world contribution, or put the whole thing behind me. Also not sure to what degree I want different classes of chemicals to be a part of my future lifestyle, and how much I want to put behind me. what I do know is that I have to be done with opiates - they're an all or nothing love affair for me. But I find myself trying to figure out the right balance with booze, psychs, weed, etc. And oddly, after 5 years off the stuff entirely, I'm having a really fucker of a time with meth. Going to have to figure that one out, I didn't quite H and pills just to become a full time piphead, but I had a few heavy binges in the last 6 months and that seems to have really set off the dormant wiring.

Also finding it weird hanging out on bluelight without the oldschool crew (miss you guys! you know who you are), although I have to admit it's also nice to be able to just post shit without feeling self conscious about people I know irl reading it.

That's no hill top that was fucking Everest!

congratulations. And remember the gear isn't worth the trouble., its not even good anymore. I hope that i can do what you've done in a few years time.
Thanks bro - I'm 100% sure you can. I know I went years thinking the best I would be able to do was limit myself to weekends or something along those lines, but here I am, 6 weeks with no opioids in my system. Longest I've gone since 2010, which blows my mind. For years I thought I would never be able to live without opiates, I couldn't even conceive of it. Now - well it's not all rosy, I'm still on valium, and seem to end up breaking out the sweet puff once a month or so, but I genuinely don't have any cravings for H or pills unless I really work on going down that train of thought and digging up the nostalgia. I mean when I get tired or cramps or w/e I find myself pondering it, but after the last 3 months it's pretty easy to remember that it would just prolong my shittiness in the long run. I don't even feel particularly tempted to dose from my leftover subs, let alone going to the effort of finding Harry or pills. Probably helps that I haven't shot up opiates in 4 years, but still. If you'd told me when I started subs that one day I'd want to not only get off subs but off all opiates, I'd have thought it was bullshit, but this is where I'm at I guess :/

Anyway massively appreciate the support, much love to the AUDD crew.