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Thread: A question for the boys:

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    #76
    Bluelighter adder's Avatar
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    How do you expect the act of learning about sex to be "as normal as it used to be" when the internet is common now even in the middle of shithole like my country (though I guess increasing prices will have some impact on the bandwidth )?

    People prefer to keep a lot of things as taboo. And it's some great phenomenon that the insights about sexual intercourse is so secret while extending the existence of human for ages.

    I know it's much less of a taboo in the Western Europe or North America than here. I've seen it. People are more open one to another in the West. I don't get it why it is so. Is it mentality of people living in socialism for tens of years and earlier some didn't have a country at all? I don't know.

    Keeping some things as taboo is not good but having no respect for feelings and emotions bonding people is bad too. Sometimes I'm disgusted by some idiots' ideas about sex and women.

    Concerning the main question in the thread, I see nothing exciting or satisfactory in ejaculating on some woman's face. It's some kind of a fetish because there's no way all men in the world just love to do it. I've never done it and I've never even had such fantasies.
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    #77
    Bluelighter motherofearth's Avatar
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    There's nothing wrong w/ fetishes.
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    #78
    Bluelighter motherofearth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KhyaBean View Post
    SO based on recent events that have taken place since I originally posed this question, I am reasonably certain that the reason behind the specific semen/face interaction to which I was referring to was:

    Dominance, disrespect, and an attempt to prove a point that need not have been proven. Suffice it to say that that will be the last time that particular flavor of semen makes it anywhere near my face, or any other part of me. I can handle sticky eyebrows if it's for a good reason, but jizz on my face out of spite and I'll start thinking about which food would be best for hiding period blood in. I'm thinking lasagna. Everyone likes lasagna.
    So you're resentful towards a partner primarily, and the resent for the act is a byproduct?
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    #79
    Concerning the main question in the thread, I see nothing exciting or satisfactory in ejaculating on some woman's face. It's some kind of a fetish because there's no way all men in the world just love to do it. I've never done it and I've never even had such fantasies.
    exactly...
    that's all it is..

    some guys get off on it..
    some don't...

    some women or gay lovers don't mind it..
    some do...

    this is no mystery..

    we all like different things during sex...

    you know..cuz we're all different.

    if you don't like it..tell him..
    i bet he'll stick around anyway...

    too much thought has been wasted on this thread IMO.

    ~token
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    #80
    Bluelighter B1tO'RoughJack's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by justsayknow View Post
    ^I agree. I would say for me its not usually seeing something in porn and wanting to act it out rather I seek out porn that portrays things that I like. I would be interested to see if anyone would say that they learned about sex mostly through porn or have developed what they like from watching a lot of it. Not sure anyone would admit it even if they did.

    With regard to the facials even though I'm not really into it that much I did quite like the quote from Marquis de Sade on the wiki page. I bet it sounds even better in french
    Yeah that;s what I mean...I'm sure it has become more commonplace because of porn - but I;m not saying that it was because of porn people started doing it - that's like what came first the chicken or the egg? I am just saying the power dominance dynamic from influence of porn has negatively effected it. In my opinion, and I honestly think it's true.
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    #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by bagseed View Post
    actually, there are people who don't find semen gross.
    Quote Originally Posted by motherofearth View Post
    there's nothing wrong w/ fetishes.
    qft.

    another dudes cum? IMO No, that's gross, but I'm perfectly comfortable with my own semen, no reason to resent your own body. It's not like it's a bodily waste.
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    #82
    Bluelighter KhyaBean's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tokenname View Post
    too much thought has been wasted on this thread IMO.
    I agree actually and I'm the one who started it. I had no idea so many people would have an opinion on this.
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    #83
    Quote Originally Posted by KhyaBean View Post
    I agree actually and I'm the one who started it. I had no idea so many people would have an opinion on this.
    lol OP...yeah...you can see what interests us around here..
    I like the slr forum...i just think this got a little deeper than it had to go is all...

    ~token
    Last edited by tokenname; 22-06-2012 at 00:45. Reason: pun intended.........
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    #84
    Quote Originally Posted by Bagseed View Post
    actually, there are people who don't find semen gross.
    I know...i didn't get that either...why would a man
    feel like that??
    I think i'll never understand them...

    I don't find semen gross...well....not all of it.

    ~token
    Last edited by tokenname; 22-06-2012 at 00:51. Reason: sorry...double posted again...
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    #85
    Bluelighter justsayknow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KhyaBean View Post
    SO based on recent events that have taken place since I originally posed this question, I am reasonably certain that the reason behind the specific semen/face interaction to which I was referring to was:

    Dominance, disrespect, and an attempt to prove a point that need not have been proven. Suffice it to say that that will be the last time that particular flavor of semen makes it anywhere near my face, or any other part of me. I can handle sticky eyebrows if it's for a good reason, but jizz on my face out of spite and I'll start thinking about which food would be best for hiding period blood in. I'm thinking lasagna. Everyone likes lasagna.
    Well it sounds like all the wrong reasons. It's still an interesting topic though, I remember reading somewhere recently that the facial is one of the top fantasies for college aged men.
    Theres an article about it here and it seems the gist of it is summed up in what weekday warrior said about acceptance.
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    #86
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    ^Nice find with that article. In the context of a loving relationship desire for acceptance might just be the central motivator for wanting to cum on another person's face. That makes sense to me.

    However, I think the facial grew popular in porn by exploiting a different psychological insecurity. The article mentions that in the 70s and 80s ejaculation in porn occurred mostly on the back, ass, or stomach. The rise of the facial in the porn of the late 80s, 90s, and today coincides with the rise of true female economic power in Western societies. In the 70s and 80s men weren't insecure about gender power in society. Now we are because things really have and are changing and so sexual degradation of women in porn is hot because it allows us to experience again a part of what we've lost through sex. It's how we attempt to reclaim that satisfaction.

    But it’s all about context and whether it’s lust or love. I for, instance, have no desire to cum on the face of my girlfriend, yet I still find it hot in porn. For me, it's because the women in porn are not women, they are sexual objects in a fantasy that I'm amplifying with video. They are fodder for my lust.

    In the context of our relationship, my girlfriend is a person who I respect and love. That doesn't mean I may not one day find the idea of cumming on her face hot. But if I should suddenly find that idea hot, I could see how it might owe to the thrill of seeing her accept that part of me. That is to say it's just the opposite of how the facial functions psychologically for me in porn.

    In love, the act of masking the others identity with one's genetic essence is an act of acceptance by the other. The willingness signifies an openness to every part of the man voluntarily: it is an invitation by the other to the man for greater intimacy and unity.

    In lust, the act of masking the others identity with one's genetic essence is an act of affirming one's own power over the other. The ability to denigrate the others identity signifies power over them and supplies ego gratification.

    In love the act is about blurring the lines of identity while in lust it is about aggrandizing identity through extreme symbolic contrasts of power. Sociologically speaking, I don't think it even necessarily has to be about men and women. Power becomes ever more evenly distributed as the years go by, between genders, races, sexual orientations, etc. Perhaps men of all stripes are using media to live out the power fantasies (in the privacy of masturbation where they can get away with it) that, in the past, they could have actualized in their daily lives. This isn’t to say that in their porn habits men are becoming more disrespectful of women or spiteful of their increasing power, or that they’ll become more aggressive and defensive. It’s just sexual psychology: it’s primitive, stupid, and mysterious. This is just how things are getting processed by our monkey minds. Shit, maybe, this is just my interpretation. But, I don’t know. I’ve thought this way for a long time and keep finding more evidence.

    too much thought has been wasted on this thread IMO
    I couldn’t disagree more. Think about how bizarre and specific the act of the facial is, and how it has only recently become popular in porn. As silly and gross as it may be perceived, it’s indicative of something primitive and instinctual in men changing on a mass scale. It’s interesting.
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    #87
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    IMO there's not much sexier than shooting your sperm deep inside, and/or pulling out and shooting a few on her ass, or if she's on her back, then shoot your first blast in her face, and have the rest shoot up her tummy.
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    #88
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    Following the tangents of my last post, I was reading the comments on the article linked to by JustSayKnow above and came across this:
    In Japan, Bukakke (men coming on one woman's face in succession) was a feudal punishment for females who got out of line. This is a common practice that seems very rooted in patriarchal cultures.
    As you might imagine, using the internet to quickly research the historical contexts of Bukakke led to a lot of what I wasn’t looking for, so I couldn’t find any more “official” sources to confirm whether this was an actual practice or not (not even with Google Scholar). Still, if true, this is fascinating, because it underscores the idea that the facial is a deeply instinctual symbolic act of misogyny (at least at the societal/cultural level – which is obviously where it makes sense to think about porn as a factor).
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    #89
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    Bukakke is fucking nasty, just saying...
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    #90
    Bluelighter justsayknow's Avatar
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    I doubt that it really was a feudal punishment but I could be wrong. Maybe some Japanese men did it before it started being used in movies but I would say the most likely explanation is it being a way to get around the pixelation used in japanese censorship.
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    #91
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    Why don't they just watch porn hosted on websites outside of Japan then, hah.
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    #92
    Bluelighter justsayknow's Avatar
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    ^ I think it was an 80s thing. I dunno. Its pretty horrid in any case. I think it has spread all over the world now apparently there is even a group in my home town some people love that kind of shit
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    #93
    Many sexual trends have evolved in the West over the past 50 years.

    From the 60s through mid 80s everyone was having group sex. Hippies in big piles on L. Buzz cut scotch drinking Sinatra listening middle class swingers. The PTA mom next door. Your parents. Everyone. For gay men it was even wilder - there was a non-stop orgy on the piers in my city that went on for 40 years or so - no joke.

    From the 60s until the mid 80s it was the norm for people to fuck casually. There was no stigma attached to "one night stands" whatsoever. Your mom's friend would have casually joked about seducing the teenage pool boy. Monogamy and marriage were viewed as highly reactionary by most trendy young people. Sex was viewed as fun and positive and a vital part of life for everyone.

    Then came the counter-revolution of the mid-80s. Reagan. Fundamentalist Christians. The feminist movement split into loving fun wings and wings that viewed all penetrative sex as "rape". AIDS rightly scared people but also was used inappropriately as a tool to retool society in a much more conservative and sexually prudish direction. Gradually much of the progress of the sexual revolution was lost and young people became increasingly re-focused on fairy tale ideas of lifelong sexual monogamy, marriage, etc.

    So yes - things have changed - for the most part they've gotten far tamer and duller in the US. It IS true that vastly more people now see pornography than did even in the mid 1990s. It's also true that some sexual trends have been very positive - the gay revolution, etc.

    But I think a lot of younger folk in this thread are still missing the key point: 50 years ago as now society was spread along a broad spectrum of sexual desire and behavior. At one end of the spectrum are people who for whatever combination of reasons have very controlled sex under very controlled conditions not very often. On the other end of the spectrum are people who have wild sex under adventurous and chaotic conditions as often as possible. People on one end of the spectrum rarely interact sexually with people on the other end of the spectrum and tend not to understand how many of us there are and what we do with each other. Sometimes that's because we have been chased and shamed by anti-sex society and sometimes it's because we tend to inhabit different social circles. Look at how easily people here are condemning something the woman I love loves - something almost every woman I've chosen to be with has loved. With attitudes like this it shouldn't be surprising that people have little idea how normal and common this was for highly sexual people before porn. Yes porn has spread awareness of all sorts of sex - just like the "mommy porn" Shades of Grey books that are now mainstreaming BDSM. But trust a horny old man - plenty of your moms were getting facials and from multiple partners at the same time - whether they were hippies or beehive hairdo amphetamine housewives. The modern generation invented nothing but increased repression and fear of sex......
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    #94
    Sex is everywhere these days though. Its just mostly subliminal.
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    #95
    Why is dominance in this case worse than spanking or bondage? Spanking, bondage, and facials are all dominant acts but not necessarily disrespectful. I don't think anyone is arguing that spanking or bondage can't be done respectfully, so why can't facials?
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    #96
    Quote Originally Posted by psood0nym View Post
    I couldn’t disagree more. Think about how bizarre and specific the act of the facial is, and how it has only recently become popular in porn. As silly and gross as it may be perceived, it’s indicative of something primitive and instinctual in men changing on a mass scale. It’s interesting.
    Well..I'm not at all surprised that you would disagree w/me..considering your facination with this subject..
    To me, (and I am not some kid who knows nothing btw) I dont find it bizarre at all. In fact, I'd bet anything it became popular the minute porn became popular.
    I don't think it's silly or gross..i think it's a fetish..primitive and instinctual, however I don't believe men have changed on a mass scale at all when it comes to this..
    In fact I believe it's been going on for a long, long, long, time. I just think it's not as hidden behind closed doors as much as it used to be.
    I'm sure that you will disagree w/me yet again...
    It's great to have something to be interested in...so go for it...

    My opinion is different than yours...
    I do think you're over thinking it..
    It's basic, animalistic, and provided it's consensual...there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.
    It's sex, you know...which overthinking tends to ruin..IMO of course.

    ~token
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    #97
    Quote Originally Posted by jazz hands View Post
    Why is dominance in this case worse than spanking or bondage? Spanking, bondage, and facials are all dominant acts but not necessarily disrespectful. I don't think anyone is arguing that spanking or bondage can't be done respectfully, so why can't facials?
    agreed^^^ so much so that i've now dbl posted again,...your fault jazz hands...
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    #98
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    Sometimes our negative emotional baggage follows us from the past, and that weight colors our perceptions of current and possible future events. Beware of using too broad a stroke of the brush kenickie.

    You are only brining yourself down, no one else.
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    #99
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    I'm a guy and I'm not into it. I like how it feels coming out but my fascination stops there.
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    Bluelight Crew Johnny1's Avatar
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    If you're doing it respectfully, you're not doing it right.

    But you can do it consentually.
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