^^^^^^ oh my fucking god that was funny.
^^^^^^ oh my fucking god that was funny.
Jeez, from reading this forum, there are a whole lot more fuckd up things that people do.Originally posted by ~*MEOW*~:
you LET your cat suck on your nipple?
From reading that post, it wasn't a fetish or anything...not like she was getting off on it.
Last edited by PsychoKitten; 04-01-2004 at 14:26.
You mean like this?Originally posted by jujube02:
i didn't realize my gag reflex was so sensitive and i threw up all over his lap without warning.
warning very gross
Last edited by PsychoKitten; 04-01-2004 at 14:28.
This didn't happen to me, it happened to my boyfriend and one of his ex-girlfriends. He had picked her up at a bar and they had gone back to her house. They thought no one was home and started getting it on in her bedroom...and then her mother barged in and stuck a shotgun in my boyfriend's face. He was terrified so they grabbed their clothes and ran outside, where they continued in her dad's car.
Ah, the joys of being drunk....
deecee i am traumatised!!! hahahah!
Well it's not hugely embarassing but quite funny.
One time while round at my girlfriends watching TV we decided to get a little freaky.
So sitting on her sofa she climbed on top of me, I undid the top of my trousers and let her sit on top.
So we are fully cloathed except for my balls hanging out with me sitting normaly on the sofa and her facing me with her legs down my side.
Anyway where going at it like crazy when her room mate walks in not noticing what we had just been doing and sat down on a chair to watch TV.
Anyway she thought we where just sitting in a funny possition untill she see my balls hanging out between my jeans.
We had to sit totaly still as to not expose any pussy or the dick burried inside and wait till here room mate had left the room.
This from a few months ago would have embarrassed the hell out of most ppl. It turned me on something fierce tho.
I'm out for drink with my then partner. We end up at one of my fave places - this really cosy bar with old fashioned booths. So we're sitting there n playing footsie and I decide to umm "slip under the table".
So I'm under there, with my mouth busy and his friends walk into the place, spot him and come over to sit down. Note: I am still under the table. They stayed for ages, while I played him like a bloody violin. They stayed so long that in the end I had no choice but to finish him off and pop up back into my seat.
Classy huh, you should have seen the faces on those guys. Figuing i was in for it, i decided to make the most of it and I looked each one in the eye as i wiped my bottom lip with my finger, licked it clean then calmly replaced my lipstick.
that was cute but it makes you look like a pro yaknow. Wonder what they said after you left hehe!
This embarassing moment is not mine but it happened in my presence so it qualifies. I was on a dbl date in high school with my G/F and my best friend and his G/F. Went to dinner/the movies, the usual stuff, then at the end of the night, it made more sense to take my girl home first. So we drop her off and that leaves me, my best friend and his girl in the car for a 35 mile drive home. I'm driving and they're in the back seat getting freaky. Now bear in mind this is in the middle of NO-WHERE in Indiana, I was driving pretty fast, in excess of 75 mph. My friends girl decides to go down on him in the back seat. Now- she'd been bobbing up and down for a while, his head was all thrown back in the back deck of the rear window, so I'm the only one watching the road. We were rapidly approching a railroad crossing with a significant rise to it. We hit it still at about 75mph, and as we crossed the tracks at that speed, the car left the ground momentarily. Well, ole girl is in the backseat with mouth-full-o-member, and on a downstroke. We hit the ground on the other side and the cars shocks bottomed out and so did she. Now were talking about a girl that had sucked exactly ONE dick in her whole life and it was in her mouth at the time, deep-throating someone was NOT in her sexual repatoire. I hear a loud "GLAAAUGHCK" and I saw in the rear view mirror, she was holding her hand over her mouth. She'd triggered her gag reflex and my homey was about to hammer it home when she gagged, so now he's cummin and she's pukin' in his lap. I was laughing so hard I had to stop the car, she was so pissed she was threatening to walk home and probably would have if not for the remoteness of our location at the time. I giggled most everytime I saw her for weeks, I couldn't help it. I kept seeing her face in the rear view mirror in my mind, her eyes were enormous and her hand was trying not to let her spew, but spew she did. I still laugh when I think about him blowing his load and her pukin all over him. But alas, my lil joke had to remain private, I was threatened with castration if I were to reveal it to a single soul at school, but it didn't stop me from giggling my fuckin' ass off. HAAA HAAA
[ 06 July 2002: Message edited by: expatriate ]
i was dating this guy for almost a year and his parents loved me. it was christmans eve at their house and we were waiting for the rest of the family to show up. we went into the basement to get it on. but we heard his mom coming downstairs, so he bolted to a dark corner and i just covered up with a blanket. she asked me what i was doing and i said, taking a nap cause i didn't feel well. she got me some hot tea, said she hoped i felt better and started to leave. i was so relieved to get off so easy, just then she tripped over his pants that had been thrown across the floor and realized what was going on. before i could do anything, she turned on all the lights and there was my boyfriend butt naked. that was the last christmas i spent at the goldie residence.
goin down on a girl with their period and coming back up with a kool-aid moustache
^^^^ reminds me of a story i was once told, don't know if its true though but after reading this i think its true! but the stroy ended w/ the guy not minding going down on a chyck then going in2 the bathroom & saying something like 'i loook like freddy kruger' grossed me out, but thats my personal choice!
Last week this girl i really dig took a nighttime stroll with me onto the beach to lay by the water's edge and soak up the white-noise vibrations of the crashing shorebreak, and as the energy between us tends to leap from cool to hot and back again, we found ourselves grinding furiously and making out on a lonely-feeling expanse of sand at a time where most people would be out at bars, getting their major-league swerve on.
As the expansive tendency of heat would dictate, one thing led quickly to another and we found ourselves grinning evil grins and deciding that here and now would be as good a time and place as any to feel each other a little more deeply, with a little more abandon than our first time together. What is it about fleece tops, breaking waves, sarongs and outdoor sex?
One would need a machete to cut through the thick air of anticipation as we decided what must happen, will be.
She had abundant swell to ride, my tongue was flowing with her flooding tide. So we stripped our lower halves and got down to the pleasurable business of fucking, immediately signing on the dotted line. And despite the funky logistics of sex on the sand, she soon found her express train to lala land.
As she's cumming, these kids a few hundred feet away coincidentally, i should say simultaneously, fire off some bottle rockets into the water, unaware i think, of our presence. The 'bonus fireworks' synchronize quite nicely with her own internal show, and all is quite fine and dandy in her world.
We switch positions and i am just starting to find a comfortable rhythm, just starting to feel the potential flavor of fucking this awesome creature. Fucking like I Like To Fuck on my birthday thank you. Energy, synergy, chemistry, it's time to tear her asunder.
Out of the blackness a hovering police chopper decides it's time to supremely block my cock and ice my vibe by shining his spotlight on us, causing us naturally to get a couple more tasty pumps in before we scurry to pack up and roll. Uh-oh, naughty kids having public sex, beware the reach of the long arms of the law.
I have yet to properly fuck this woman, and it's driving me up the wall. I see my dick in the eerie glow of the helicopter spotlight, and wonder if i'll ever see it through a mosaic filter on Cops. We make light of the situation and return to the walking path. I now curse those blasted kids, only allowing me a teasing taste of her before spoiling my despoiling of her yummy body and vibe.
The reinforcements pour in as an ATV piloted by a uniformed protector of the peace comes in to question us as to our activity. When asked, the girl straight-up admits to having sex on the beach, shocking me and catching him off-guard. He then gets to the Meat of the Matter, catching us by suprise by asking us if we were The Ones Shooting Off Fireworks. We respond dumbfounded, wondering what sort of sexual acrobatics and zen mastery would be necessary to achieve both at the same time.
We point him in the vague general direction of the alleged perpretators and ask the cop for a light. He obviously has none and bodes us well as he slips into the darkness of the night, his two-stroke hum a laughing reminder of this funny episode. More like a another cosmic mocking from the mysterious origin: she gets an orgasm and fireworks, i get the romantic glow of helicopter spotlights.
Last edited by PsychoKitten; 07-01-2004 at 09:51.
After a long day of snowboarding, me and my gf at the time are coming down the mountain in the gondola. My friends are in the next gondola and can't see so we start going at it doggy style. Well I don't know why exactly but it turns out there was a gondola full of people going up the mountain. I didn't see them but my friends in the next gondola said all they saw was a gondola full of people laughing and giving each other high fives.
ok yea, its all about qweefing!! i have this thing that i dont fart in front of ppl, even my bf, so when he heard me qweef (of course it had to be extremely LOUD!) he started cracking up and kept making fun!!
also, getting caught is quite embarrassing. 1st by my parents...then last week down by the river (we were outside, he was behind me and i was all bent over and moaning and some dude walks by!!)...then tonight actually! -we parked behind some shed type thing that was beside a big field...we thought it was pretty secluded...until the cop drives by shining his spotlight on us!! i was straddling him n the drivers seat with my pants off, so i jumped over and we took off with a quickness!!
this stuff is gold - anyway my own little story holds a special place near my heart. Me and the ex are having fun in her bedroom - parents are home but the door is closed and they know to knock...however there is a knock on the door - dad says "dinner's ready" - ex g/f - "yeah i'm coming" and the dad laughs and says "no no, didn't you hear me - i said dinner is ready" - and walks off laughing his head off. Great family dinner it was too.
well we're both naked and im getting sucked off by a fine blonde on her sofa, im facing her room door.
i close my eyes in (and on!) ecstasy and open them to find her flatmate has walked in, skimpily dressed cos its early morning- looking for a CD!
not really embaressing for me, in fact it was more of a turn on!!
A while ago, my boyfriend at the time was telling me about an embarrassing moment he had with his ex girlfriend. They were getting down and dirty and in the middle of all the action he let one rip, loud.
So of course the same night he told me the story, the same thing happened again...but to me. I guess there's nothing like easing someone elses bad moments by recreating them yourself.
Some of these stories are just lololol awful
Ok, so I can't compete with a lot of these, but I'll try.
First time I have sex with my ex, we were both home on break and he was living at home with his very cool mom and dad who had no problems with me (the girl he had been dating for like 2 weeks) sleeping over engaging in loud sexual activiy in the next room (weirded me out). So yeah, we go to have sex and I knew that I was like a day away from gettng my period so we skipped the condom and just went for it.
8 and a half pumps later... just kidding, the boy held out for nearly five minutes... umm yeah, I jump up to go to the loo and I realize, "hey, I got my period" I walk back to his room and he is standing, staring at his bed scratching his head, and there is a pie-plate sized pool of blood right smack in the middle. He looks at me and hes like "I think you got your period" Now, I'm halfway between running out of the house in humiliation and fainting from the sight of my blood, but suprisingly he was very cool about it, he ripped the sheet off the bed and threw it in the hamper for his mom to wash (I don't think so!) and we made the bed together and slept happily that night.... awww happy ending
^^^^ something similar happened to me last week
boyfriend's parents are out of town -- perfect opportunity for some full out, loud, multi-position love-making. we start doing it on his parents chair, and then we're like wait, let's do something different since we can take the opportunity of having a house over a backseat for once. (dont' get me wrong, i LOVE the backseat)
so i get *off* and he looks at me and he's like uh, babe uh..... so i look and there is blood all over his member. mortifying, let me tell you. and i was like baby i'm so sorry, i had no idea ( i blame this on the shot) but i figured maybe something got "torn" up there because i had no clue i had started my period and i didn't feel it. so i just told him that it wasn't that, something must have just gotten triggered. so that was that.
we went to "wash up" and he comes back and he's like "i don't think we triggered anything, it was already there because it was on my fingers"
that was so friggin embarrassing.
sorry for the graphic details.
this is embarrising for her an accomplishment for me:
about 5 years ago when i was 17 i banged some chick that was pretty much a slob so it took about 2 hours from the time i met her...me and my friends had this point game where kissin a girl is 1, feeling her up is 5 etc etc i went for the 500 point bonus...after i had sex with her i stood over her put one foot on her stomach, started beating my chest, yelling "score" so i tell everyone, no one believes me so the next nite i did it again while they recorded it....she even called the next day.....
Years ago my ex-roomy and I had been parting at in a motel. One of those all weekend, cheap motel, beer and cocaine parties. She had brought her boyfriend and his cousin. The cousin and I hit it off right away but didn't have any privacy to do much about the growing sexual energy between us. The next morning we decided to take a shower together thus allowing some privacy to relieve ourselves. We agreed I would give the cue by saying "I'm going to take a shower" he would wait a couple minutes and then casually walk in the bathroom and go from there. Well I gave the cue to take a shower but once in the bathroom realized the previous night of drinking beer and doing lines had caught up with me and I really needed to take a shit. Thinking I would have a few minutes before he joined me I turned the shower on and then sat down to do my business. The toilet in the bathroom was right next to the door of course. I guess he couldn't wait because before I was finished he came walking in, saw me sitting there and realized what I was doing, said "oh sorry" and left. I was sooo embarrassed! I guess it didn't bother him too much because he did end up joining me in the shower that morning. When we got out of the shower we joined my roomy and her bf and noticed a dirty tampon lying beside their bed. The guy I was with pointed it out and started laughing hysterically. I think she was more embarrassed that I was! Anyway, this guy and I ended up seeing quite a bit of each other after that and any time I acted shy around him he reminded me of the time he walked in on me taking a shit. It actually really helped me feel comfortable around him. As if the worst had already happened.
This was embarrassing to me, funny to others. I was a senior in high school, and liked this girl, S, in my physics class, I was trying to pull off the act of innocent, nice guy. a friend of mines parents were out of town so I was staying there for the weekend. My friend goes to a party, and I know he won't be back for many hours, probably not tonight. I hook up with this other girl, T, and take her back to his house. She and I are on the floor in the living room going at it, when the front door opens, and about 20 people walk in. Apparently the party my friend was at was busted, so he brought everyone back to his house. I wouldn't have been too embarrassed, except that the girl I liked (S) was in the crowd, and saw me on the floor with Tammy. I never did hook up with stephanie.
Edited to protect the innocent
[ 12 August 2002: Message edited by: CBRworm ]