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Thread: The Benzodiazepine Thread Version 5

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    Benzolas, senior? Ahh, fuck a dat a shitta, try the H, is good (not real transcript) 
    #26
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    Yeeah, I agree with th Red Shark. Nitrazepam is one of the few 'enjoyable' benzos I've tried, and will serve you well during a meth or other hard stim come down.. serve you a little too well, because once you've disocevered that you can have your 'meth' cake amd eat it too (with some nitrazepam or whatnot) then you'll feel like you've got a free pass to binge out every weekend with minimal (comparatively) side effects.


    I always thought that the disocvery of benzos and stims are what have taken me to hell and.. well, not back yet. At leaast they gave me an express, behind the scenes pass, to how shit things can get if you are afflicted with some kind of relatively common mental illness (Off topic: I suspect we'll be phasing that term out and handing it back to the people who have REAL psychological issues, not just the 'normal' folk like myself who have been ground down by shitty circumstances; ie. would depression exist if the world was perfect? Yes, that would be the 'real' depression which is a time and space inviolate, always there for anyone who feels they are in need of misery/company).....

    where was I?

    Oh yeah, rambling about benzos and stims being an unholy union. Boy, are they great at being bad!

    Benzos have been around since I was growing up due to my mother being a night duty nurse who required scripted meds to sleep in the daytime what with all the noise of suburbia blasting around you ( I grew up across the road from the Preston /Bell Street /Maccas/ housing projects area. Nice place... hahahahhaah!! And I was on the good side of the road! As a few others have said, There was something different about the temazepam "footballs" - as we called 'em which were I don't even know how many mg's per footy, they used to actually get you kind of high. If I'm correct, each football was 25mg or so of temaz, and when my poor mum brought them home, it'd be a rush to the cabinet because I had an alcohlic father who was suffering throughout my childhood, then there was me, little alco Jnr who wanted to up the ante and discovered that temaz footballs wen really nicely with whisky (which I got high school buddies to buy, cuz they actually could pass for 20, let alone 18, while I still looked about 12 yearrs old). This was when I was 15, BTW. Then I discovered my friend's mum had presciption for panadiene forte or wahtever the fuck they are called now 500mg paracetamol/ 30mg codeine and BOO- YAA!

    I'd found my high school combo. I didn't know what a CWE was but I just took as directed - two tablets totalling 60mg codeine, 1g of paracetamol (puke), 40-something milligrams of 'ye olde formulae' temazepam, and a couple of long-necks of VB - (hey, I grew from little kid to moody, anxious teen in West Preston when it was still a rough neighbourhood, don't juudge my lack of taste in beer) and I'd be off - at least my brain cells would be.

    I remember kids thought I was cool because I sometimes cracked a can of beer on tthe way to school to go with the cigarettes we were all smoking.

    Know what the point of this rambling post is? I'm still using benzos, and opiates (not just codeine anymore, haha), still addicted to nicotine (though I use a vaporizer, or e-cigarette as they are clumsily called), and I'm still dealing with bouts of depression which leave me good for nothing - I mean, I cannot move, eat, sleep - and this all was worsened by taking all the proper steps via the state authorized medical system, where I discovered that people are people - regardless of how much authority they have, or what their status is, people are people - and let's hope we all meet some genuinely nice ones today, because let's face it - what hope have we got other than simple human kindness?

    OK, I realise this is a ramble-shamble, and no, I've not slept properly for,,, oh... about six years or so, But my intentions are transparent: I want to see more simple kindness in the world.

    benzos, stims, SSRI's, opiates... they all have their function and should be accessible to those who feel they need them. GPs, psychiatrists, and to a lesser extent, IMO, talking-therapy practitioners, have become twisted and it's sad day when a psychiatrist, who I had waited to see for a long time, turned out to be an alien for all the human empathy he displayed in our sessions. Yes, I'm still hung up about that dude - hey, at least I'm calling him "that idiot" anymore, right?

    I actually did two and a bit years of online study with a view to becoming a Counsellor - a talking therapist, no drugs - but I couldn't do the practical part due to financial restrictions. At the time I was the sole earner in the house, and me and my mother, brother and girlfriend were living from month to month, quite literally.

    So there you go, sun's coming up on another hot day in Melbourne, and I've just bashed out half of my life story because I couldn't sleep. Thing is, these days, I don't do anything embarrassing or stuff which is later regretful, I just do stuff. Maybe that signifies a closure of sorts, by which I mean I'm growing as a person - not gonna top myself, too many people who will go before I do (oops with the psycho talk again, but I can explain that, too - I simply mean to say that I'm very tired and blabbering away as if this is a private journal instead of a globally accessible site).

    So, yeah, mods - you're doing a wonderful job as always. Feel free to move this post, or tell me where to shove it (in my blog vacuum, for instance!)

    Peace to all,

    Halif
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    #27
    ^ Great read. Disturbingly similar to my early years with use & abuse - early alcohol abuse, stealing benzos and opiates, depression/anxiety.

    The only difference is that I was born into an upper-middle class family and gifted every opportunity in the world (all of which I blew).

    Hope you are well.
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    #28
    Bluelighter mydrugbuddy's Avatar
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    in the Uk we currently have several uncontrolled benzos; etizolam, pyrazolam, flubromazepam and diclazepam seem to be the most common ones. Is anyone able or allowed to tell me if any of these substances are also uncontrolled in Australia and easily and reliably available via the usual grey area internet vendors ?

    I am currently dependant on the fuckers but will possibly need to take a flight over there very soon, so its quite important atm to know whether these things or simillar things are relatively easy to obtain. So far Im getting the impression that Australia is far stricter than the UK. Is this correct ?
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    #29
    I remember there used to be a bit of debate on the legality of etizolam in particular, but I can say with certainty that there are no grey vendors.

    EDIT

    Just realised how vague that was. Australia has extensive laws that cover 'analogues', so even if the chemical isn't technically scheduled or controlled chances are it won't be legal if it resembles a benzodiazepine.
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    #30
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    Ohshit... international travel is when it hits you that you might be in a tight spot. As Fishy said above, AUS is very very officious about anything entering the country. Sorry to be the bringer of bad news, but don't risk bringing over a shitload of supposedly grey area benzos... they'd be itching to make some media example about how they're cracking down (I love how they say cracking down.. oh the ironing... hehehhe I'm an idiot) on evil people from the evil UK bringing in evil FAKE drugs (whatever teh fuck that means, the whole thing is whack - synthetic drugs, legal highs, etc... let's just call them drugs - many of them aren't new at all, just haven't been popularised until a year or four ago).

    Yeah, dude. Stay safe. It sucks, but it's not worth the hassle - and there will be a hassle if you try to bring something in. People get boners (love that word) over those border security shows, seeing the evil (and often non-white) drug 'mules' trying to talk their way out of... well, actually, they're just trying to understand the nasal Ozzie accent which customs officials seem to turn up for the cameras (or the people who have the least English ability).

    Gotanything ya wanna delclare on ya? Youse better tell us now becuase it's a $10,000,000 fine if I find somfin' on ya.... well?! Wazzamatta? Can't speak the English?!

    <CAmera pans in on vaguely attractive but overly made-up Vietnamese woman who pouts because she can't understand a word the idiot's saying>

    <cut to commercial: Tourism ad for travel to Vietnam>
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    #31
    Quote Originally Posted by mydrugbuddy View Post
    in the Uk we currently have several uncontrolled benzos; etizolam, pyrazolam, flubromazepam and diclazepam seem to be the most common ones. Is anyone able or allowed to tell me if any of these substances are also uncontrolled in Australia and easily and reliably available via the usual grey area internet vendors ?

    I am currently dependant on the fuckers but will possibly need to take a flight over there very soon, so its quite important atm to know whether these things or simillar things are relatively easy to obtain. So far Im getting the impression that Australia is far stricter than the UK. Is this correct ?
    Just put them in those 30 day medication planner plastic container things and if customs officers find the container in your luggage tell them its valium or some other prescription med. I think realistically you will probably get in more trouble with one undeclared apple/banana than a month of planned daily doses of pills.
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    #32
    Or get some 2mg etizolam blotters and slip them in your wallet between bankcards or in a book.
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    #33
    Or get some 2mg etizolam blotters and slip them in your wallet between bankcards or in a book.
    May as well sneak in a few kg of charlie up your arse while you are at it.
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    #34
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    ^ yeah, don't advise anyone to try and smuggle drugs into Aus.. if you get busted - and they're keen - they will make a big deal out of it. Bringing shit into Oz Land is not worth the risk at all, IMO. They can be very officious over a piece of fruit, as Catching Fish said, and they will be happy as a pig in shit if they find something dodgy - even if they don't know wwhat exactly it is... if they want to bust you, they'll show no mercy. DON'T DO IT!

    Source them here, or send them over first if it's that much of an issue )and even that is going against the board rules) I had better shut my big mouth before Big Ozzie Brother comes for me and my illegal bananas... what? The ones in Thailland just taste better... I couldn't help myself.

    End.
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    #35
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    ok thanks for the help guys even if its not very encouraging. Thats a very helpful rtesponse considering its my first post here. My step dad is terminally ill, im not sure if i'll be able to get off etiz before he dies or in time to see him before he dies and be in a state to be able to cope with it. Fuck it i might get some posted at my own risk to my own name if i cant get off them in time, that might give me a criminal record for the first time in my life which might completely screw things up for me. It would equally screw things up with my family if i was not to go and pay my respects at the very least. I cant just stop cold turkey as im 3 years into a heavy habit, id probably loose the plot totally and get detained under the mental health act if i was to do that.
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    #36
    ok thanks for the help guys even if its not very encouraging. Thats a very helpful rtesponse considering its my first post here. My step dad is terminally ill, im not sure if i'll be able to get off etiz before he dies or in time to see him before he dies and be in a state to be able to cope with it. Fuck it i might get some posted at my own risk to my own name if i cant get off them in time, that might give me a criminal record for the first time in my life which might completely screw things up for me. It would equally screw things up with my family if i was not to go and pay my respects at the very least. I cant just stop cold turkey as im 3 years into a heavy habit, id probably loose the plot totally and get detained under the mental health act if i was to do that.
    Damn dude that is a terrible situation. Could you possibly see a doctor and get prescribed other benzodiazepines and work out what you have to do in order to bring them in legally? There has to a system to bring necessary medication.

    All the best man. I really hope you can figure it out and spend some time with your father. Travelling can be extremely tough and stressful when you've got a monkey on your back - especially a three year benzo habit.

    Good luck.

    CF
    Last edited by catching fish; 19-01-2014 at 04:35.
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    #37
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    Mydrugbuddy: have you considered going to a GP and, without going into too many (or any) details about your habit, ask for a valium script to help you with severe anxiety relating to your step-dad's illness and your phobia of flying (whether you've got one or not). I don't know exactly how bad your benzo habit is, and I realise a 20 pack of 5mg diazepam may not do a lot for long, but it is long lasting and will stop you from going outright nuts at least.

    In these circumstances, there should be some humanity on the part of officials but sadly there's none, and telling the truth can make things worse sometimes. In all good conscience, I could never advise anyone to try and bring in illegal pills to Australia, because Aussie customs really are strict and the consequences really can be dire indeed. But I wouldn't ever pass judgement on whatever you decide to do.

    Best wishes in a tough time.
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    #38
    I can't take benzos like I used to. What I mean by that is when I take them(no matter the dosage) a day or toe after dosing I will always cop a bit of depression and a 'low'. I used to be able to eat massive amounts of benzos with no side effects at all. Is anyone else this way? If you eat 20 mg of Valium say, will you be 'down' and feeling depressed a couple days after dosing?
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    #39
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    ^ oh hell yeah. First couple of days are great, and then I just feel emotionally blunted to the point where I lose interest in everything and feel like a zombie. This is when I abuse them, that is.

    Diazepam is good with its long half life, because if you're not a heavily addicted person (but do need to take them for anxiety) you can possibly get away with taking a moderate dose every second day to minimise that flatness.

    I find that very hard to do though, personally, because the rebound anxiety seems to be waiting just around the corner all the time for me. That's my fault for abusing benzos - can't live without 'em, don't enjoy them.
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    #40
    ^im not prescribed benzos although I legitimately think I do need diazepam but haven't made the effort to seek psychiatric help dealing with my anxiety and depression. So when I use benzos it's sort of a one of, or at least I will always run out. I never learn though, as an addict I'm stuck in the cycle of use. Even if it's once a month or every few months, it's the same result every time I eat them.
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    #41
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    Some benzos, IMO, are more prone to that flatness after-effect than others. If you're seriously in need of help for anxiety (and a lot of people are), it might be worth talking to a GP or someone with the capacity to prescribe. If you can find a half-way open-minded GP, you could tell them you've had diazepam once or twice and while it helped in the immediate term, it left you feeling depressed after, and possibly you can be prescribed something else.

    This doesn't help, because I'm going to mention an RC benzo and we cannot recommend that people try looking for or sourcing and importing illegal things, BUT I will mention "pyrazolam", sheerly for the for the fact that of all the benzos I've tried, I found that one to do NOTHING but remove anxiety, and have the least side-effects. Honestly, I don't know why such a benzo hasn't been put into mainstream use as a legitimate medication because it's so non-recreational, yet so effective at what it's supposed to do.

    My cynical side thinks that perhaps big pharma don't want anything that's unlikely to keep people coming back for more. See: alprazolam. Now THAT is a benzo that seems tailor-made for creating raging addictions which are extremely hard to escape from. It's benzo crack, IMO.

    Also perhaps have a look into mirtazipine, a legally (and fairly commonly prescribed) anti-depressant. It's very different from typical SSRIs/SNRIs in that it is quite sedating and can help with anxiety while supposedly helping with depression also - and those two darlings go hand in hand.

    Mirtaz didn't work out much for me, it made me very sleepy but didn't help the depression at all - even stacked on top of 100mg sertraline per day (this was done with the advice and recommendation of a GP, BTW). Still, most GPs will throw any anti-depressant at you way quicker than they'll agree to script you any benzos.

    Good luck, floating.

    PS. I empathise with your "I never learn" comment. I don't think it's a question of learning entirely, though, so don't beat yourself up too much. If you're anxious and depressed, then obviously you're going to use something that provides respite. Anyone who suffers from severe depression knows that if you have the coice - if there's a pill in front of you - then there's little to no chance that you'll be able to say "Well, perhaps tomorrow I'll take it. I think I'll just go ahead with feeling shit all day today again"... When is it a good time to feel depressed? It's a waste of life.
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    #42
    So after some advice I received on here in another thread I decided to visit my GP to discuss a taper plan. I'd previously been using for nearly two months everyday now on average around 30mg diazepam a day, some days no diazepam but the equivalent dose in either oxazepam or temazepam. My GP flat out refused to discuss a taper plan with me. I have tried every SSRI/SNRI known to man as well as cognitive behavioral therapy and nothing has worked. After basically being told I'd have to learn to "deal with it" I moved onto the black market to source benzos where I'd previously bought the odd xanax to have on hand for an acute panic attack. After diazepam working so well with a new job and being very mild in regards to sedation and inebriation I continued to use it every day. After a few months I feel i've built what I need to from the drug and decided it was time to move on. I have plenty of diazepam, oxazepam and temazepam to taper off with but my GP, without even knowing that I have these stashed away refuses to believe I need to taper off. He actually insisted I start my third attempt at lexapro and go cold turkey on the benzos.

    Do I need to see another GP? I've known this one for the last 10 years and he's always been very understanding, but after taking advice I received on here in regards to speaking to my GP to organise a tapering plan, I've now lost all his trust and he flat-out refuses to help me. I have asked previously and was told no-one can answer me and to speak with my GP, but now that I've done so without any help and actual dangerous advice, can someone please show me how to taper safely or atleast point me in the right direction. I'm not at risk of ever running out and it's definitely not a mental addiction as the only benzos i've ever actually enjoyed recreationally is alprazolam. I just need a taper plan for someone that's used on average 30mg of diazepam every day for almost two months so that I have a rough guideline of how much to decrease per day/week etc. In the last two weeks or so I've decreased my dosage and have been only eating 10mg when I feel severe physical withdrawals take effect, which can sometimes be for a day or two due to diazepam's half-life. Is this a smart way to taper off or is this only scratching the itch to keep myself comfortable? How do I successfully do this without ruining my professional life or those around me?
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    #43
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    The advice you were given about the GP was poor. Very few GP's know about tapering from benzo's and now you are possibly flagged, at least by you're long standing GP.

    Whatever tapering plan you decide on there are a few rules to follow (a GP will not give you them, or even give you the opposite):

    1. Never cut down to the next level until YOU are ready, not when a plan or GP says so.
    2. If a cut down was a bit early/harsh, suck it up and do not go back up even if it means staying at that level for longer.
    3. You cannot take a few extra if you are having a bad day.

    Good Luck. You will get some good advice here, you just have to recognise it.
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    #44
    [QUOTE=floatingaround;12097410]I can't take benzos like I used to. What I mean by that is when I take them(no matter the dosage) a day or toe after dosing I will always cop a bit of depression and a 'low'. I used to be able to eat massive amounts of benzos with no side effects at all. Is anyone else this way? If you eat 20 mg of Valium say, will you be 'down' and feeling depressed a couple days after dosing?[/QUOTE

    ^^ i feel great the next day. if i was to be expecting a stressful day tomorrow, i would take 10-20mg valium before bed. stops the fretting before sleepy time, and the half life makes the net days stresses easier to deal with.
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    #45
    Yeh it's not so much the next day after using benzos it's the following days once they leave my system. For example, the last time I ate benzos was 20 mg of Valium on a Saturday night. I didn't start feeling depressed till the Tuesday.
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    #46
    Buy sheer luck I got my hands on some etizolam and diclazepam.
    The diclazepam is a nice anxiety killer (i really don't give a fuck after a 1mg pill) as well as having a a comfortable mild wooziness, sleep is no problem too but I wouldn't say they make you sleepy, just relaxed.
    Still haven't tried the etizolam.
    Being a benzo noob I liked the diclazepam, but it gets mixed reviews, to be honest i like it a little more than I should so gonna be careful with this stuff.
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    #47
    Hi Guys today I got a new 2mg alprazolam, it looks almost exactly like the old xanax bottle in size color etc and the tablets are exactly the same size taste etc and marked with
    " U 94" I don't have access to my original Xanax right at the moment because they are stashed away but I believe they were U94? or were they UP94?
    They are made by Ascent Phramacy and called Ralozam. Do you think these could be left over Pfizer stock, they look identical?
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    #48
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    Hi all,
    I've been prescribed an arsenal of Benzo's to help with the symptoms related to my illness (physical illness due to a surgical error requiring me to receive IV minerals ie. Calcium Glucanade, Magnesium and so on weekly in a hospital). My point is, I have an infinite supply of Benzo's. I currently take 30mg Valium 7.5mg Lorazapam 50mg Temazepam - daily. Now I know this is odd but as an experiment I didn't take any Bemzo's for 2 weeks, I had them at hand if I got withdrawals but this never happened. I never had any indication of withdrawal, it's puzzling.
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    #49
    Some symptoms can be psychological especially with weak ones like temazepam and valium, get addicted to high doses of alprazolam and tell me you have no indications of physical withdrawls. Lorazepam can be a heavy hitter for bad physical effects I have heard. Good luck mate, your posts sound like you are playing with a fire with a jerrycan of fuel by your side. No offence, just wish you the best
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    #50
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    Feel like i pushed my limits Etizolam the past couple of weeks. Started to notice very minor withdrawal, or after-effects.

    anything can get you sort-of nervous,I felt a bit off-balance, the ground felt slightly like water.. mood swings(depression), just a couple of sleepless nights.. (got few hours each night). And it almost feels like the 'come-up' of an LSD trip. you know, your senses increased, things seem a bit different. But its not bad at all, I'm noticing these minor effects get much better on 3rd day.


    the 6 days mephedrone usage the week before every night didn't help. which increased etiz usage.. i don't think it took Etizolam every night though.

    went for a run before. hope i feel better tomorrow.
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