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Thread: The Benzodiazepine Thread Version 5

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    #76
    Good luck triplies.

    I had a random thought last night while I was enduring the unpleasantness of a dexamphetamine crash/insomnia:

    Have any of you guys with a serious and long term benzodiazepine dependence ever been in the situation where a doctor (be it your regular doc or a new one) has flat out refused to prescribed you any meds? I know a lot of doctors are naturally opposed to prescribing benzos, but surely they have a duty of care to do something. I mean by sending a patient away empty handed, they could potentially be rolling the dice with their lives, right?
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    #77
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    Yes, I had that exact situation which has thankfully been resolved now.

    Last year I saw a dud psychiatrist (and bitched on about it quite a bit here on the forum) who wrote a damning letter to my regular GP claiming I was abusing benzos. Result: I went back to my regular GP (who is a good doctor and a reasonable man) and he was reading this letter on the screen, because it was and still is permanently stuck to my file, and he refused to give me any more diazepam. He dropped me right in the shit and I was rather... irritated.

    Each time I seea a GP now, they see that letter and I have to either A)defend myself, or B) give up and take their shitty attitudes. One of them flat out said to me: "Have you seen any other doctors today? Do you collect scripts?". All I could muster in response was "no". What I wanted to do was drop her computer on her head.

    In case you're wondering how I got back in the good books with my regular GP.... well in the letter he wrote he says that I'm an addict of multiple drugs and have been abusing my benzo scripts. He states that he believed it unwise to script me benzos, and therefore did not script me anything. But the fact is that the idiot DID script me valium. Not only that, but TWICE the usual amount that my regular doc gave me. I didn't question it. I was happy.

    So I kept the bottle when I had the script filled which clearly shows the psych's name, my name, the place and date it was filled, etc. I showed the bottle to my regular GP and asked him to re-read the letter. Oops. I could see the look of conflict on my doc's face and he saw too different stories, but the script bottle doesn't lie so we both agreed that the pysch was an idiot and since then my regular guy has been a lot more sympathetic and takes my word for things.

    Happy ending but fucking awful experience. And the letter remains on the system so I've got a bad name for any new GP I see.
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    #78
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    Lol I got stilnox prescribed to me over diazepam. Was prescribed 50 x 5 mg's diaz at a time but they'd last me a good while. Then stilnox... Tripples your on the money. 30 mg of oxaz is pretty similar to 1 mg xanax IMO. Fuck I'd love some etizolam though... dramatic sigh. But yeah diaz will help keep at it mate but be careful to much of an abrupt withdrawl can cause delirium tremens like side effects. Sometimes weeks after ceasing the drugs. Don't reduce the diaz to quickly.
    Last edited by lovepsychadelics; 28-02-2014 at 11:01.
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    #79
    Quote Originally Posted by lovepsychadelics View Post
    Lol I got stilnox prescribed to me over diazepam. Was prescribed 50 x 5 mg's diaz at a time but they'd last me a good while. Then stilnox... Tripples your on the money. 30 mg of oxaz is pretty similar to 1 mg xanax IMO. Fuck I'd love some etizolam though... dramatic sigh. But yeah diaz will help keep at it mate but be careful to much of an abrupt withdrawl can cause delirium tremens like side effects. Sometimes weeks after ceasing the drugs. Don't reduce the diaz to quickly.
    well Diaz supply ran out which I thought was unlimited so had to switch back to xanax as no oxaz available either. It fucking sucks. 20mg of Diaz is supposedly equal to 1mg of alprazolam but I'm taking up to 4mg a day for 3 days now just to stop the shakes. my memory short term memory is completely gone. spend 40 minutes looking for something that is in my back pocket etc. happens multiple times a day. Still no problem with sleep though can take my last 1mg dose of xanax at 5pm and fall asleep easy at 12am. I've got an appointment with a doctor in 2 weeks who was recommended to me I d I nt even want a script just want a taper plan that will affect me the least. Also even though I wouldn't say I have a huge tolerance to benzos I took my whole 4mg at once on my day off and didn't feel any different than if I'd hVe taken the 1mg spread out. worst addiction ever, hands down.
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    #80
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    The brand name Rivotril and pot is going to be a lifesaver tonight. Meth is fucked and my habit is all over the place, often non - existent but then rears it's ugly head. I can't do it anymore.

    I feel so sorry for the people that go through wd after just a few days. 2-3 days of heroin use causes bad wds but I use benzos all the time and don't become dependent(physically) psychologically I'm fucked and have such a ridiculous tolerance. 10mg of clonazepam. Is a small dose for me :/
    Last edited by the_ketaman; 06-03-2014 at 14:14.
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    #81
    Questions about Ativan (lorazepam) - does that require an authority to be prescribed? The reason I ask is that I only have very brief appointments with my psych so I need to time when I ask for scripts and those phone calls can take a while.
    Last edited by catching fish; 14-03-2014 at 02:03.
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    #82
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    cleaned my room out for the first time in over 12 months yesterday and as Im lifting up my hookah to wipe the dust off, a doily with 4 bars in it falls off from underneath.. I must have put it there when I was blacked out but either way, its atleast 18 months old haha winning
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    #83
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    ^Lucky bastard!

    See, that would just never happen to me. I've overturned everything in moments of desperation and of course there's nothing there because I overturn everything two or three times a month. Just once, I'd like to have that pleasant and amazing surprise.

    The closest I ever got to a surprise was cleaning out a bottom drawer and discovering a nearly full bag of....<drum roll> synthacaine!! It had been there at least two years when I found it and I remembered buying it from a long gone and controversial (to put it mildly) Australian vendor.

    It was virtually a full bag because it sucked. But that didn't stop me from finishing off the whole bag over the day, with an expression like a kid who's been told to eat his cauliflower before he gets dessert - and then finds out there is no dessert.
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    #84
    So after a longgg meth/coke/whatever the fuck else bender that lasted a week (including using through work which is completely unlike me) I hadn't slept all week, not a wink. Stuck to my regular 4mg of xanax (actual xanax not generic) half a bar every four hours or so I decided I needed to sleep. I took 8mg and waited. Nothing. Had a friend who'd never had xanax but was a regular diaz user eat 8mg with me and he smacked out, fell over and slept on the floor. After around 3 hours I decided to consume 10x2mg bars. Finally it hit me. Fell face first, luckily onto carpet, couldn't get myself up to bed so slept on the neighbour's floor. Woke up 5 hours later fine. That is a total of 28mg of alprazolam in the space of 4 hours or so. Coupled with my regular 4mg split into 1mg doses throughout the day. My friend/neighbour slept for 36 hours straight.

    Can anyone explain why on earth my tolerance is so high if I've stuck to a very strict dosing regime whilst I wait for this appointment with the doctor for a taper plan. I understand the large amount of stimulants would have contributed but my friend had consumed just as much as me stimulant wise and uses around 50mg of diaz a day and has so for a lot longer than I've been using benzos daily (started around this time last year). He said he'd never slept so long in his life. I woke up feeling refreshed and fine, no wobbles or 'off' feeling. Continued at my 4mg daily regime and did not experience any withdrawals/increase in tolerance. 4mg does the job just fine still. How on earth was I able to take so much without it affecting me anywhere near as much as my friend who's been a regular benzo user a lot longer. Also noticed that my friend remembers nothing of the falling over/smacking out/falling asleep on the floor but I remember it all vividly. Also seem to remember almost the entirety of the week without sleep. When I would bender that long without benzos I would barely remember anything. I am so confused as to how what normally impairs my short-term memory (xanax) actually made me able to remember everything.

    I did do what I shouldn't have and consumed alcohol with the xanax but each day i'd consume no more than 3 - 4 beers and consumed 1 glass of red wine to wash down the final dose of 10x2mg bars.

    I don't get how this drug can be so sporadic in its effects and yet everywhere I read it is pretty predictable once you know your tolerance/dosage etc.

    It's been 7 days since that final huge dose and i've had absolutely no comedown what-so-ever from the stimulant use and lack of sleep and am finding that 4mg is still the perfect daily dose to keep the anxiety at bay. I have an unlimited supply and yet apart from that one time I have stuck extremely close to my regime. This is the first drug in my entire drug career that I have absolutely no psychological addiction to and yet am purely taking it to avoid the withdrawals. I don't even get a high from the xanax, just a relief from the anxiety which I've suffered with for the better part of my life.

    I cannot wait to get off this. I cannot imagine spending a year taking this stuff daily. Most days are just a confusing mess and yet I function fine in professional/personal life. Can't remember if I just had a smoke, cracked cans of sprite/solo that I've taken a sip out of of and forgotten and gotten a fresh one from the fridge. The only positive i've taken from this whole experience is I get to watch movies/tv shows for the first time all over again, and again. I watched 3 movies over the week i'd never previously seen, I just put one on half an hour ago knowing that I'd watched it because it was filed away in my movies and yet it was like I was watching it for the first time. Guess that's a sort of positive.

    Physical addiction is the worst thing in the world, i'm taking a drug I don't even get anything out of except a stave from withdrawals and a fucked memory. Does anyone have even the slightest clue how long it will take me to taper off a 4mg a day alprazolam habit that began at the start of december 2013? Was using oxazepam for the most part of it and diaz but now its purely xanax for the last few weeks or so.

    Now where did I put my wallet again?
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    #85
    Ex-Bluelighter Dunno's Avatar
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    Lost my original post. was longer than this one

    Stupid idea on making xanax sched 8.

    Big influx of Xanax in Australia very soon and there is nothing the government can do about it unfortunately
    it's sad but it was always going to happen. This country is just getting worse
    Last edited by Dunno; 15-03-2014 at 06:48.
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    #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by catching fish View Post
    Questions about Ativan (lorazepam) - does that require an authority to be prescribed? The reason I ask is that I only have very brief appointments with my psych so I need to time when I ask for scripts and those phone calls can take a while.
    No, it doesn't require an authority. It's not on the PBS though so it's more expensive than some other benzos.

    Quote Originally Posted by Halif
    See, that would just never happen to me. I've overturned everything in moments of desperation and of course there's nothing there because I overturn everything two or three times a month. Just once, I'd like to have that pleasant and amazing surprise.
    I'm the same generally - I'm way too aware of my drugs to ever forget them. Though, I did find a line of mdma crystals underneath a card on my chest of drawers once. I've also found a rolled up $50 inside a dvd cover, a few years down the track.
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    #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by catching fish View Post
    Questions about Ativan (lorazepam) - does that require an authority to be prescribed? The reason I ask is that I only have very brief appointments with my psych so I need to time when I ask for scripts and those phone calls can take a while.
    No, it doesn't require an authority. It's not on the PBS though so it's more expensive than some other benzos. I like ativan, and like that it dissolves well under the tongue.
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    #88
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    That's a coincidence, Footsy, I was just posting in a benzo thread in OD about how I had only recently tried lorazepam for the first time and I quite liked it. I had zero expectations because it doesn't seem to be "around" all that much, and despite the box being nearly five years old the contents were very much active.
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    #89
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    Me too a fan of lorazepam. Doesent last too long, well compared to say, Diaz.

    Kicks in quick, and kind of builds over the hour for me.

    Very handy tool that one. Great for constant anxiety.
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    #90
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    ^ Yeah, it doesn't seem to be a common prescription. It is always the benzo my regular Dr prescribes me on the odd occasion I get a script though. I started on them due to a (fortuitous, IMO) mistake. Out of town, I'd been prescribed some valium to deal with a panic attack, and when my regular GP asked what I'd been given that had helped with my anxiety, I said it started with A - it was brand name antenex. My Dr assumed it was ativan, and since then, that's what I've been prescribed.

    I like it also because of it's anti emetic properties. I'm quite prone to nausea, especially when I was drinking, and an ativan under the tongue during a hangover was a blessing.
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    #91
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    Damn, you did get lucky with that happy script mishap!

    I definitely prefer the short to medium duration benzos because I find that whether the half life is 8 hours or 60 hours, the length of the main subjective effects don't feel that different. I'm scripted diazepam, which is very helpful, but I resent the fact that it has an insane half life and tapering takes eons.

    I also find the long acting ones cause some worsening of my pre-existing depression as the substance builds up in my system I feel increasingly emotionally blunted, which in turn makes me feel empty and soulless.

    I wonder why etizolam isn't prescribed here in Aus? It feels to me like a more up to date, streamlined benzo which manages to pack a decent punch and work quickly on multiple levels without wiping out all your emotions or disrupting REM sleep too much. I find it easier to get up in the morning after etiz the night before than many other benzos.
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    #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halif View Post
    I wonder why etizolam isn't prescribed here in Aus? It feels to me like a more up to date, streamlined benzo which manages to pack a decent punch and work quickly on multiple levels without wiping out all your emotions or disrupting REM sleep too much. I find it easier to get up in the morning after etiz the night before than many other benzos.


    ^ me too.

    They prescribe me temazepam for sleep, but some nights on it I feel like I'm half asleep. My alarm goes of in the morn for work and it's like I just got up from laying down awake for 8 hours.

    I also get weird dreams if I do actually get to sleep on just temazepam. And I'll generally need a dose that causes a slight hangover.

    Never had this issue with etiz.
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    #93
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    When I was stupidly abusing clonazepam two years back, I would bomb myself and pass out cold. The sleep was more like a coma, with no dreams. It was very hard to wake up and I felt unrefreshed and foggy-headed. Also, my girlfriend said she was going to cut something important off my body if I kept taking that shit before bedtime because (apparently) it made me snore like a mo-fo...
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    #94
    ^ That's not very nice, I'd hate to live without a nose, how would you snort random powders you found lying around?. Should stop the snoring though.
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    #95
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    That's not very nice, I'd hate to live without a nose, how would you snort random powders you found lying around?. Should stop the snoring though.
    heh... yeah my nose is a trouble maker but I need it for hoovering shit I find ground into the carpet from months ago - come one, don't pretend you haven't licked a desk top or sucked an old snotty straw once or twice!

    Sorry, that was gross... and too close to the truth

    Though, I did find a line of mdma crystals underneath a card on my chest of drawers once. I've also found a rolled up $50 inside a dvd cover, a few years down the track.
    Shit... what;s with you guys and your lucky finds?! I found a dead cockroach in my sock draw once. Happy story: it was dead.

    RANDOM BENZO RELATED INFO FROM EXPERIENCE (Your Mileage May Vary, so don't freak out if you disagree with me):

    -benzos which have strong anti convulsant properties produce the worst withdrawals (clonazepam and phenazepam being prime candidates)

    -there is a lot of debate around the supposed strength of various brands and makes of etizolam, with many claiming the pharma grade ones are better. My experience is that there is little subjective difference between brands, and SOME 'generics' are actually noticeably stronger than pharmaceutical ones. <generics in this case means amateur pressed pills from RC vendors>

    -while it's widely regarded to be a silly practice, snorting benzos can be an effective way to relieve severe anxiety almost instantly. The effect of intranasal benzo intake can be radically different between different types of benzo, and different types of pill make. I've tried this a handful of times because I'm stupid and curious. For harm reduction and efficacy: don't bother snorting benzos - bad for your nose and ultimately a waste.

    -the experience of benzo withdrawal (both cold turkey and rapid taper) gets worse each time you go through it. This is a well known and documented experience called "kindling". In my experience, the severity of WDs increases significantly over time and never ceases to amaze me in its seemingly limitless capacity to create a mental and physical hell unrivaled by any other substance. For this reason, binges on benzos for prolonged periods can lead to shocking WDs rather suddenly. So, either you're on them, you're off them, or you're tapering in a steady manner. Don't binge on and off, over and over. Don't binge at all if possible.

    -IMO benzos are one of the most potentially dangerous classes of drugs on the planet. How dangerous any drug is depends on the person using it (provided they are using it out of their own free will and not having it administered). However, IME nothing else comes close to being like an insidious outside force which sneaks under your awareness causing you to take more without remembering, causing your mind to talk itself into a reason why it needs to take more, and ultimately either creating long term anxiety issues which were previously not present, or worsening existing conditions. They are also the only drug I've taken which, from the subjective perspective of the user, can feel as if they aren't doing anything, while in reality you're stumbling, behaving out of character, slurring words, etc. For that reason I think benzos are extremely dangerous for people who drive.

    Fin~
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    #96
    Good post Halif. I'm sure most regulars in this thread/forum know the risks of benzos but it pays to not forget how many people (especially visitors) use this forum as a resource for information & education. I think warnings like that are especially useful for benzodiazepines, a class of drugs that I believe can appear pretty innocuous to many people.

    While I have used benzos pretty consistantly over the last 6 years (mainly diazepam and alprazolam), I am fortunate enough to have never fallen in too deep - unlike my experiences with other substances. I have had a few binges that have entailed 4-5 weeks of daily use but have managed to escape only suffering some bad rebound anxiety and a period of feeling out of sorts.

    I feel for you guys who are trying to break out of a serious addiction. It sounds like a truly hellish and frightening experience. All the best with your battle (or maybe a war might be more appropriate with benzos).

    CF
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    #97
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    Good post Halif. I'm sure most regulars in this thread/forum know the risks of benzos but it pays to not forget how many people (especially visitors) use this forum as a resource for information & education.
    Yep. I knew there wasn't going to be anything new to the regulars here, but exactly what you said: It's important every now and then to re-post some basics because there are a lot of people reading this forum and I bet the lurkers and guests comprise some of the most vulnerable substance users.

    The ones who can't or don't want to talk to anyone about their drug use for fear of being found out by someone in their life. It is damned hard work to hide a real addiction from a person you're living with, especially a partner. It's amazing how many people do so, however. I read an article weeks ago in a newspaper about the 'hidden' epidemic of women in their middle ages, generally with partners and families, who are addicted to codeine. And you better believe they aren't doing CWEs. They're chugging down pills loaded with paracetamol or ibuprofen and worrying about the damage that the codeine is doing...

    That has to be one of the most common, most ingrained misconceptions in the mainstream world: codeine is dangerous, paracetamol is not.

    How many people have died, I wonder, because of those ideas?
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    #98
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    In regards to the lethal dose -I dunno man but its high..... i get 50x5mg valium every 2 weeks from doing various illicit doc shopping, and in 1 night i would usually down, 20-25 valium 3-5 zopiclone and a bottle or 2 of wine just to get off my tits... so id say 50 ? +

    but in saying this, i have an incredible benzo tollerance from alprazolem, temaze and diazepam, If you are going to take any kind of benzo, id recomend crush 5 valium and bomb it with a shot or 2 of vodka, for a normal person that will destroy you for the night... or the same but with 1 brick of xanax.... dont over do yourself with any kind of drug... what i can say from experience is respect drugs because drugs don't respect you....

    I forgot to add also, regarding the generic versions etc. there is a masssssive difference between them and the non generic, not just the price. I tend to stick with Antenex, you can take it without food, drink on it etc. without vomiting, Valpam if you dont eat and you take it with booze you will vomit within 30-60 mins Just have a look around they all contain different additives some make you sick others make them able to be popped like candy.

    Take note also the next 1-3 days after a severe benzo binge your going to be well an asshole... i have no idea what it is, but i have never had a binge without the next few days where i have been tollerable.

    With the addiction behind benzos, it really depends on how you look at and treat drugs, if you use and abuse constantly without any restrictions on yourself there is a major chance of being addicted. In saying this the last few years i have been basically high as fuck, which i admit is not a good thing. Ive managed to smoke grams and grams of meth in a few weeks and then turn off it for months, taken speed for weeks and then not touched it for months, benzos are almost like having a ciggarette... dont let it get that way, once the addiction kicks in, its almost as bad as meth.... almost... but nothing compares to the grip of the devils breath... One of the big things for me after ive had a massive binge of benzos is codein, Nurophen + is over the counter and contains 12.8 Mg of codein to 200mg of brophen.... which is incredible they will help with the withdrawrals, help you sleep, get rid of the sweats and its back to normal after a day or so... but be prepared to go threw around 30 + (sometimes 60 with cold water extraction) over a few days to a week...

    Currently im pescribed Valium 5mg 3 times daily avanza 45mg before bed and Zopiclone before bed to treat, anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia etc. etc. doctors will feed you what ever the hell they want just to shut you up... australia is getting rediculous with pharmascuticals... its easyier to get a hold of than shard... and 1/100th of the price ...
    Last edited by zoniksku; 21-03-2014 at 12:28. Reason: forgot to add more information
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    #99
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    Today I had to go to the hospital to get some PEP (I.e I was exposed to HIV and PEP is a course of anti-retroviral meds that if taken within 72 hours of the exposure has an 80% chance of preventing the virus from becoming a permanent part of your life, the sooner its taken the more likely it will work) and whille there I asked for something to help me deal with the possibility of contracting HIV, I did not mention benzos at all because that would set alarm bells off in their head but at fjrst they said no which infuriated me because my reason is perfectly adequate to get something. Eventually I accused them of neglecting my needs due to my history of heroin addiction (a drug I haven't had in longer than I can remember) so he prescribed a measly 7 10mg Temazepam tabs but the lovely lady at the pharmacy gave me a whole bottle, so even though valium or just about any other benzo would have been preferable I still managed to get something that will give me some peace of mind.

    Fuck I really can't stand how hard it is to aquire benzo's nowadays. And I have to say a big fuck you to the people that doctor shop or use them to get high because I have debilitating anxiety and panic attacks and I need pills but so many people have ruined it for the people that are in desperate need of relief at times that I buy off the street and let me tell you it's fucking expensive doing it this way but I haven't got a choice.

    At least I don't have to worry about it for a few days but Temazepam sucks so ill be necking handfuls. Should have asked for nitrazepam, I wonder if they would have given it to me but I know it works so much better in much smaller doses compared to just about every other benzo.
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    Shite Ket, hope you went OK. Good move acting straight away, you did the right thing.

    I just have a question about xanax (alprazolam?). Im doing a taper from codeine, feeling dull and a bit shit but ok. Feel panic and anxiety, so I take 1mg. NO change, wait a bit and take another mg. Still no change. I Dont want to take more because it just makes me feel sick all day the next day.

    Is it tollerance, I have taken it on and off for months, but going for weeks or days off in between. And always at night before bed.

    Sometimes 2 mg, but no I just take 0.50 if I need it and i sleep fine. (I have suffered anxiety/ depression/ panic disoder my whole life)

    Still, this drug does nothing when I take it, and then makes it super hard to wake up the next day and sick all day if I take 2mg.

    Is this normal?
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