A new year a new year of facebook. Here we go again
A new year a new year of facebook. Here we go again
This is what I choose to wear today, tried to wear so much random shit no one would take not of my nose. I have a really bad sun burn on my nose that needs to heal so I need a band aid on it
I like how he called it an "invention"...! hahahah cough, cough, lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuckin' tweekers never seem to amaze me...
Hey I managed to ingress my other tweaker friends when I texted them it lol. My ex wished I had come up with that for her when we used to chill and smoke hard. Shed rip her eyebrows off and shit.
And yes I know it's not much of an invention. I did come up with something a bit more technical while I was tweaking the other day, I figured out how I'd fully automate my hydroponic shit and redid the DWC to kinda merge it between that and a drip and an ebb/flow, Im gonna set it up on Monday with my little MK Ultra buddy!
Drew out schematics for how it'd work, did all the mathematics and stuff, drafted it out. Actually used a lot of stuff I learned in first year and second year drafting for engineering at uni. Love when I get to use stuff I learned in school in the real world! Did the same thing for my mush mush. Also checked the plans after I was high to make sure it was all correct, which it pretty much was.
Just did a shot of hydro! More on its way here too! Yay gonna get a good sleep tonight and I might just set up my new hydroponic idea tomorrow, need it to be almost automated for a month at a time while Im at treatment.
Oh found something great for if I feel like picking and Im not all grabbed up, I found some tweezers and just pluck at day old stubble every time I want to pick.
Last edited by sailor bugg; 10-06-2015 at 05:13.
Lol you seem like a interesting funny person it's hella hot where I live to what area are you in Sailor bugs
Okay Im fucking tired been shooting hydro all night, my buddies gf came over and gave me 10 dilly pills which I made into 2 shots, feel in good, gonna pass out.
Last edited by sailor bugg; 11-06-2015 at 09:00.
IV meth is my favorite. Honestly though, being addicted to it... it pays to be a masochist. It's a cruel mistress. The first few days it's great... then the crash that follows is legendary.
I'm glad you flushed your shit and glad you're going to try to quit meth. Honestly, I understand the struggle.... I know what you mean exactly when you say , "I feel like I have this issue where Im constantly hungry and I always have food, but no matter much I eat or how fast, I'm never satisfied. Its not living, not at all." I am in the same boat. Its a painful life... but I can say without hesitation that meth only made it 10x worse. Being a tweaker long term was never something I could imagine doing. The fear of my heart exploding, the neglect to family and friends... the recklessness... the impulsiveness.. the utter destructive nature I take on while tweaking.. were all so profound in a period of 3 months of tweaking.. I racked up 2k in credit card debt, lost a majority of my friends... blah blah blah you know the story. So I got sober but now it's like Wtf! Where do I go from here? I'm always hungry.. and the weight you lose from meth is gained back in no time because once you quit your body goes into hunger overdrive.. but for me the hunger overdrive doesn't seem to fuck off. I'm always hungry. So I constantly fight the urge to eat because I want to be thin. But my overall appearance.. I dunno.. I love how meth made me look. Thin, sickly, pale, etc. Love it xD probably not good to love it... but yeah. So the pull is there. Knowing I could just do some shit and be thin... happy etc. Problem is that it doesn't last for me. The crash + the damage I accumulate from my poor decisions while on meth are monumental.
When it comes to coke.. honestly... dysphoria is kinda all I get from it now. I snort a line... or do a shot.. feel slightly more jittery and edgy for 20 mins or so... then feel like utter shit and wanna off myself for the next few hours. Fuck all dat. ._.
I think I'll always miss meth. But honestly, I just try to remind myself how much better I feel not crashing. Plus since my heart issues.. whenever I do meth now my chest hurts... and my arms get tingly and such... which then scares the shit out of me.. so I end up feeling awesome for about an hour or so.. then feeling like crap for like 4 days... 1 day of which I spend worrying if I'm gonna have a heart attack or not lol. No fun.
Yea I don't think I'm going to be getting into jib, last night I was so worn down and just exhausted in everyday be it physically and emotionally or w/e that I started spamming texts that were boarder line psychotic to people, not like attacking them, but just venting to them and it was like at 5am. Luckily all of my friends have had or have issues with substances and they been in the same spot as me doing that and weren't angry at all. I did apologize for if I woke them up but they told me never to apologize for venting to them, that they always are there to listen and won't judge. Especially this a few people who used to be meth heads and are really mature, when I come to them for help I just feel so emotionally open and like I can put my guard down. And I wrote a big long text to my ex who's in treatment (she's the one who helped me get into a treatment centre and convinced me to go) about how much she means to me and how I consider her my best friend. And for the first time in quite a few years, probably 3 and a half I started to cry, not from being broken, but from how happy I was that everything is gonna get better for me soon. Just one more week. Then I slept for 10 hours and felt so damn refreshed and did a shot of some really good down with a bit of meth in it that I found on my scale, and got so high I could barely keep myself up. Damn must be new shit I guess, plus it lasted like 4x longer than normal. So Ive had a good day.
Lol that picture tho lololol.
Last edited by sailor bugg; 11-06-2015 at 09:01.
Just spent the last hour figuring out how to make my hydroponics system fully automated while Im at rehab and can't check on it and have to have someone else just make sure the place is alright (they wouldn't know what to do).
But yea around here people call it dizzel, dope or down. It, coke and hard are the big three where Im from.
Well I kinda failed, made it one day and then got a p of jib, dammit.
Not even once.
Damn. =/ Well try not to fuck up your life too much on it. Hide your phone, use porn instead of all your friends... and try not to go out in public and be crazy. c: I... cannot refrain from doing the opposite. I call people I shouldn't, have sex with people I shouldn't... or attempt to lololol... and act burnt as fuck because I'm twazzled as fuck and all in life seems okay... when really I'm "That guy"... you know who I'm talking about The guy that walks up to you and starts talking to you... for 30+ hours... lol
Well this time I made it almost a week without doing jib. Im coming of smack and I really wanted to get high, but all I can get is smack, crack, soft and jib. I don't like crack or soft one bit and am trying to not do smack so I just decided to get a q of jib. Yea I tried to be sober but after 8 years its too damn hard to just go cold turkey. I'm lucky enough to be going to where I can't get drugs in the first week of july for about a month so that'll give me a much needed break from things. Made appointments to see my psych's and therapists as well.
Yea I gotta learn to hide my phone, I start spamming out people with texts of just random things I'm doing and videos of me smoking or shooting up (I cover my face heh.). I wish I could find someone to have sex with but I don't seem to have anyone I can just have as a fun buddy at the moment . Altho I don't even really get overly sexualized at all, I don't even really think about sex, mind you it might be fun to do all night with the right person! Heh I don't like porn at all or anything like that, so it's real or nothing :P But yea when I go out in the morning the only weird thing I do is wear bandanas over my face in the morning when I go out, but I do that every day lmao. Yea I know exactly the type of guy you're describing lmao.
Well at least you're having fun bro lol get your highs in before rehab
That's true yea. I leave early next month and I wanna to go out having a good time not letting myself become an anxious mess from not using.
EDIT: Fucking autocorrect
Last edited by sailor bugg; 21-06-2015 at 12:10.
This thread was definitely BOB material
Lmao funniest thread ive come acoss on bluelight