Hello, I'm here because there's a part of me I do not understand; or better yet, a part of others I don't understand. A little back ground, I've done just about every class of drug under the sun, even somewhat strange things such as IV methylphenidate; you could call me quite the psychonaut. Some of my all time favourites include Hydromorphone and alprazolam as I'm more of a downer than upper guy. I've done more drugs than anyone I know, but retail a good life with a great job, social connects and make quite the amount of money for my age, all whilst I watch others struggle with drug use around me.(even tho I do more drugs than everyone)
Anyways, what I don't seem to Understand is how I can't seem to develop an addiction. I've smoked for 2 years now and I will often forget to smoke if I'm not with friends etc. Like now I've gone 4 days without smoking due to being busy with school and smoking simply hasn't crossed my mind not have I noticed any withdrawals that make me want to smoke again. I could sto now forever. Now it isn't just smoking, I have IV'd Hydromorphone though I prefer to snort it, and I've played with it for about 7 months now. I have no desire to do it again anymore than I want to ride a roller coaster again. Sure it would be fun but I won't go out of my way. I could type forever about my self and my lack of addicting personality traits. Why am I like this? Now I know if I do Hydromorphone everyday for a week or two I will have a physical dependence. So what do I do? Not do dilaudid every day. It's so simple to me. Is this because I know all the waning signs and have great knowledge on drugs including the pharmacology side of things? I'm just lost. Is the main thing that gets people addicted lack of knowledge combined with using drugs to cope (which i also don't do, if I'm having troubles I remain sober because I hate the idea of depending on ANYTHING)
I know to an addict reading this I may seem ignorant, or they may be jealous and wish they had the same experience as me. I'm just looking for answers as addiction seems like it's for idiots. Sorry.