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Thread: Deep urge to use xans

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    Deep urge to use xans 
    #1
    I’ve only tried Xanax a handful of times and I’ve been prescribed the other two main benzos (clonezepam and lorazepam), but I find myself fantasizing about it a lot. There have definitely been times when it has just dumbed me down upon taking too much, but there have been times when I’ve hit a sweet spot of blissful mindlessness that’s helped me function. My mind seems to have no off switch and is constantly buzzing with useless thoughts, and there’s nothing like a good xan to make it shut the fuck up. For xan users here, what has your experience been with this substance? I know addiction and tolerance can be a real problem long term, I just can’t help thinking about getting relief.
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    #2
    Bluelighter Nod Alot's Avatar
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    About all I get from my Xanax script is steady hands and some sedation. I wish benzos were more like opiates in the buzz. I’d definitely like them better they were.
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    #3
    Bluelighter SheWasLvL18's Avatar
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    I like benzos too, I haven't touched any in about 3 months, but I feel I may have replaced it with alcohol as I have been drinking daily. Not getting drunk, but I find the comfort of a drink or two similar to the tranquility I got from benzos.

    Xanax made me get into accidents and blackout like no other. Etizolam was relaxing, but very weak IMO.

    Clonazolam was my favorite, but in hindsight I believe it contributed to some issues I was having with my health, particularly a ridiculous spike in liver enzymes. At the time I was unaware that benzos could have this side effect and the doctors were unaware of my benzo usages so they also didn't know. However, I also had an infection so the doctors and myself chalked the spike in Liver enyzmes and lymphocyte count up to a particularly bad case of Mononucleosis. The doctor said he was surprised I wasn't yellow , luckily, this was also when I stopped taking clonazolam because I felt it was destroying my state of mind. Now that I look back I believe it was a mix of benzo usage and the infection that caused the increase in both counts.
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    #4
    Bluelighter Throwdown's Avatar
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    Benzos affect people in different ways. If you're constantly a nervous wreck or you have social anxiety they will work for you and you will probably feel high, confident etc. It may seem like to you that it's the best thing for you right now but it's very easy to get in to daily use which will make you depended upon them.

    Once you're depended on them after a while or long tine you will realise how dull everything is, how your sex drive is basically non existent and you will experience other problems from long term use.

    You'll then decide you want to quit benzos and then you're in for for a fucking ride. You'll have to taper (whilst going through with withdrawal then once that finished you'll go through aprox 3 weeks to 3 months of withdrawal. Once this has ended you will be right back exactly where you started, exactly how you're feeling now writing this post. (baring in mind you kept your xanax dose the same everytime. If you ewre fucking around taking high doses all the time then this withdrawal is going to be much worse.

    I've been through it and trust me it's really not worth it. I was abusing benzos for about 3 years, taking mega high doses at times but constantly taking them every day, always at high doses. I did a fast taper off of them and then jumped to taking none. I was in withdrawal with 3 months+. Alpazolam is a short acting benzo. Say if you were having a severe panic attack then 0.5mg of alpazolam would really help and that's what they are there for. (I'm talking strictly about alpazolam here not other benzos because I know they have their different uses).

    If I were you i'd speak to your Dr about exactly what going on in your head and if he tries to feed you xanax then decline and. I thing therapy would be a much better option. Get to the root of why this is happening in your head and work from there to fix it.
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    #5
    Bluelighter SheWasLvL18's Avatar
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    I agree with Throwdown about how dull life becomes on benzos. Literally, nothing was fun anymore, all I wanted to do was smoke weed and listen to music and for me I never really felt like I was getting high when I blazed, just felt compelled to try and feel something. I would meet up with friends and everyone would be annoyed because I never did anything except sit there and do nothing and then when I did want to go out, I was super benzo'd out and wanted to drive at like 2 am so nobody wanted to cruise with me unless they were taking benzos with me.
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    #6
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    kleinerkiffer's Avatar
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    I've been struggling with social anxiety around half my life now and between 17-19 I've used/abused benzos, mainly diazepam and alprazolam and while they were a godsent my anxiety got worse the longer I took them and I now get rebound anxiety every time I take a benzo. Benzos can be great short term to shut off the mind/stop a panic attack, but you'll most likely end up getting addicted, especially if using benzos is your only coping mechanism. Maybe look into CBT, it'll take some time, but if you find a good therapist (might take some time) it should help. And maybe look into meditation.
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    #7
    It's my understanding that benzos are to never be used long term. My doctor told me the same thing.

    However, our medical system (in the US at least) that is built upon an assembly line of patients funneled through the waiting rooms, vital checks, and 5 minute convos with the actual doctor... keeping those prescriptions coming is how business is done.

    Long term benzo use, may not ALWAYS lead to disaster, but it certainly CAN lead to disaster. I've seen it, both in myself, and in others. I've seen seizures, I've seen lost driver's licenses, I've felt depression and suicidal thoughts, etc...

    Hell, my doctor, even though he's the one who told me they're not supposed to be used long term the day he wrote the first clonazepam script... even after saying that, he kept me supplied for 3 years. I was actually the one who told him I wanted off, and I was the one who suggested to him a diazepam taper.

    All that to say.. benzos, especially xanax, can be a godsend when used for what their original purpose is: quick relief of a major panic attack. But long term, daily usage... playing with fire.

    My 2 cents.
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    #8
    Bluelighter aihfl's Avatar
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    The problem with benzos is when they're done with you and it's time to pay the piper it's seriously gonna suck, up there with alcohol. I've come off from opiates (you might feel like you wish you'd die but you won't but you might actually die from alcohol and benzo WD) and crack (the problem with crack/cocaine carry doesn't heinous WDS you just can't stop once you start). So there you have it kids. The aihfl guide to withdrawal shiftiness from worst to easiest 1. benzodiazepines 2. alcohol 3. opiates 4. cocaine. Never done meth or any of those weird research chemicals so can't help you there although I did eat some shrooms in grad school and have a vague recollection of having a conversation with a cop (I thought he was pulling me over for speeding but he told me I was going 14 in a 25). I don't remember much about that night except his flashing blue lights.
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