Thread: How I Fixed It In 3 Weeks! - Depersonalization/Derealization after doses of MDMA

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    Depersonalization / Derealization after MDMA - HOW TO OVERCOME AND GET BETTER 
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Cutting any nonsense aside, I want to jump straight into this post. This post is aimed at giving anyone that has experienced Depersonalization/Derealization some information about what to do next and how to overcome it because it is very important that you know, it is not permanent.

    I want to start off by talking about myself and my experiences, it is likely this will be a fairly long thread so please ignore any typos that may become present. Exactly 3 weeks ago today I consumed a fairly large amount of pure MDMA, it was my largest amount to date quantifying to about 550mg. Before this roll I had not really experienced many high doses, along with this I would always make sure to space my rolls out with decent amounts of time inbetween. But the mistake I made this time was taking more MDMA to stop the comedown throughout the night. Therefore I did not sleep for that night nor the following day. I believe that sleep deprevation was a common factor in the coming experiences that came. The following few days were that of expected after a long roll, I will not get into that as it was like any comedown. I want to go straight to the following 3 weeks where I experienced quite intense feelings of DP (Depersonilization).

    Sadly, I am not able to write about the week after my roll as I do not seem to recall it at all very well, the only thing I remember was my new watch that arrived in the post which is currently sitting on my wrist, a scary reminder that I will never take such a dose again, nor take any dose of MDMA after this experience, because after you have overcome it, future episodes will be worse. The next two weeks however, adding up to a total of three weeks, were the scariest of my life. It is likely that if you are reading this post, you will be experiencing DP. My experiences consisted of me having the following sympoms: 1. Feeling that everything around me was not real. 2. Life seemed to be moving along, and any actions did not seem to be mine. 3. I was still able to get things done but it felt like I was watching myself do it. 4. Looking at myself in the mirror did not feel like me. 5. Concentration and memory seemed difficult tasks. 6. Anything that had just happened either felt like it had happened ages ago or had not happened at all. I am sure there are other sympoms that were present within myself but these were the scariest key factors. I am sure you will know what I am talking about reading this. Strangely, unless you experience DP for yourself, you will never understand what it feels like, even from reading experiences. And after you overcome this horrible period which is DP, you will not even remember what it felt like!

    Now I want to talk about what I did to fix it. It was the 2nd day of the 2nd week that I managed to source what was going on with me. I had spent many nights crying aimlessly telling myself I would never be the same and that I would feel this horrible feeling for the rest of my life. It was affecting all of my emotions as I wasn't able to connect properly with anyone as nothing felt real. I was not able to tell anyone as I did not want any kind of judgement. Eventually I told my family and they were very supportive which helps alot, if you do not have anyone close enough to express yourself with, as many of you may not, I suggest ignoring this step and following the other steps as overall it is all up to you.

    DP can be linked with anxiety. And when performing searches on the internet, the ways of overcoming DP will always be the ways that one with anxiety or mental health problems will have to undertake. You see, it is likely that none of us have serious underlying mental health problems, like anxiety, and most of us will live normal healthy lives, and in the end this feeling of DP is simply from the MDMA and not mental problems. This is very important. For me, the VERY MOST IMPORTANT thing to remember is to always bare in mind that this feeling will pass, you just have to make sure you take the steps and see it through that it will pass in the quickest way possible. You do not even have to tell anyone of your problems, you only have to be mindful of what to do next.

    I did a number of things in order to speed up recovery, I will list them in no particular order but they are all important and will insure speedy recovery. You may see people that take months to recovery even after smaller doses of MDMA, but these people do not make an effort in recovery, as recovery in this instance is earned with not just time but with action. 1. Exercise! Exercise for me was the most important factor in my recovery as although I am no scientist, exercise increases blood flow to the brain and i am positive that it has very good benefits, as all the scientists say it does. 2. Keep your mind active If you are not in any position to exercise, then this will be your priority. I downloaded and payed for the full version of an app called Peak, it keeps your mind active with different games that challenge you and records and improvements you make, but you should also combine with this other stimulating activities that you can do. For me I embarked in fitting a new TV stand on the wall which involved me having to go out and find a new drill that would do the job. Activities like this that you do not repeat often are very important. 3 Mental awareness of your issue this is a very important factor as it will keep your sanity. Throughout your course of DP, it is likely you will experience moments of pointlessness and question once again whether you ever will recovery, but this is what I did, take a moment to stop and either in your head or out loud, tell yourself that this will be over soon, because it really will! I also like to think of it as a fog that clouds my perception of the world around me, and that fog will aventually rise into the skies and leave me fully minded once again! 4. Mindfullness Meditation I will let you research the wonders of meditation, but not only will it help with your DP, but it can solve so many issues that may become present throughout your life like stress and anxiety. It is also an interesting thing to read about medititation which links to my point on mental awareness. 5 Eat healthy and avoid drugs! This is a pretty self explanatory one as obviously more abuse of substances is never the answer, and eating healthy will play a factor in having a healthy immune system after hard substances is very important. For myself I took different health suppliments like 5-HTP and concentrated fish oils, I am not entirely sure how much this will speed up your recovery but if you have some, take some! 6. DO NOT LET IT BEAT YOU! DP is different for everyone, but having a strong mind and getting on with life, however unreal and iffy it may seem will help you greatly! If you let it take an impact on your life and think too much about it, it may only get worse! For me I treated the issue in that I have it so just accept it. There is lots of truth in this as in the end, it is up to your mind to fix the issue for you along with your support. Go throughout the day doing what you need to do, and when you get those moments feeling like "fuck how did I get here", just be mindful of this and take a few deep breaths, tell yourself it won't last, and continue with your day. 7 Get lots of sleep I do not need to say much on this, just do it!

    I hope you found this post helpful, I am ending it ubruptly, but I would like to add a final thing. This day being the 3rd week after my dose, my experiences of DP have not entirely gone, but after every nights sleep I get, I feel much better the following day. It is likely that within a week I shall be back to normal once again, just like you! Stay positive!

    Please do not hesitate to ask any questions! I am happy to answer any questions you might have or any experiences you want to know that I also had. And sorry for the spelling errors, I am aware there are 38 errors.
    Last edited by knowyourlimits; 02-06-2018 at 18:43.
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    That's great man. I'm just like you, got depersonalization and anxiety after doing way too much MDMA. Its been a month for me. At first I couldn't bare it, the first few weeks were hell, couldnt stop crying. Its getting a little better or should i say that I'm kinda getting used to it, but I still have moments of a panic attack trying to creep up on me. Still have to get out my negative thoughts, its hard. I know its probably gonna be awhile for me because I over think everything. One thing I do know, is that I'll never do MDMA ever again. This experience I'm going through is too traumatizing for me. I dont know what the future holds for me, but stories like yours make me happy. Glad you fully recovered!!!
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    Hey, thanks for sharing. It’s been 5 months for me and I do everything you say except meditate, which I will try. The strangest thing for me is when I look into the mirror my image is visually distorted. For me this is very much a visual derealization
    Last edited by Needhelp123; 14-10-2018 at 22:49.
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    For me is the same.Just visual Depersonalization.
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    Senior Moderator
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    Great post, I resonate a lot with what you're saying. I just responded to a post in another thread that this could apply to as well.
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