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Thread: Speed ball IV Cocaine ≈ 90 mg and Heroin ≈ 30 mg. It's been a long time.

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    Speed ball IV Cocaine ≈ 90 mg and Heroin ≈ 30 mg. It's been a long time. 
    #1
    Needle
    Seeing a friend I haven't met in ages, I was finally able out hang out with him. After a bit of catching up we smoked some pot, had some beers, and some shots of Jack Daniels.

    I caught up with him and asked how the other people we knew were doing. It's sad to find out some people I knew, died from drug overdoses. Being a former addict, I was clean for a while, except for having some pot and beer once in a while. Knowing that I had issues with the drugs before, I knew my mind was made up.

    Ever have the feeling that you quit the hard drugs to get your life back together after suffering withdrawals but not really end up quitting and going on a long term temporary hiatus instead? That's me. I never quit formally, but I can understand why living sober most of the days is important. I don't ever feel that drug use is bad, as long as it's not overdone.Well, after being clean for a while, I feel that it was a well deserved reward. I promised myself never go overboard with drugs ever again ever since meth and heroin fucked up life up several times.

    Friend has a hookup and I decide to do it for old times sake.

    We drive and I was able to get good bit of both. We mix them up and prepare the shots. 1 part heroin and 3 parts cocaine.

    As both drugs start becoming an aqueous solution, fond and horrifying memories come back. Almost as if good nostalgia and PTSD came knocking at the door at the same time.

    As the cotton ball expands, so does my anxiety.

    I drew up the aqueous solution in a syringe and prepare my veins on my hand. Wiping the area of injection with an alcohol pad, I become hesitant and excited at the same time.

    Bevel up.

    23 degree angle.

    And into the vein it goes.

    As the blood draws in the syringe, I push the plunger down.


    The memories all came flooding back with the help of cocaine and heroin crossing the blood brain barrier like crossing into a parallel universe at the speed of light.

    I feel as if I was skydiving into a gigantic hot springs.

    The rush of it while having a safe and pleasurable landing. I start to sweat profusely and breathe heavily.

    My whole jawline was numb and I could feel the opiates hitting my CNS at full force while getting massive tinnitus.

    It's been so long, but fuck! This feels amazing.

    After the coke wears off, I start nodding off heavy.

    "This heroin is stronger than I thought", I said to myself.
    6 hours in, I vomit and feel better. Never had dope last so long, but it could be due to tolerance and dose.

    At the end of the day, it was a pleasurable one. I finish up the night with 7 grams of kratom and 2 g of phenibut.

    It's always been my favorite combo, but I should tread lightly, if I don't want to get a habit again.

    It's been so long, and dealing with a long time of work and not using. It was a nice treat.
    It's not something to do everyday. I made a promise to myself, but I should still be aware of potential danger and damages I could cause if I'm not too careful.

    Disclaimer: To people that are curious. Please use caution. This is a deadly combo. Always use clean syringes, clean water, and clean containers. If you can gain access to micron filters, even better. Wish I had a micron filter before hand.


    Be safe everyone!
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    #2
    Bluelighter Rio Fantastic's Avatar
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    I've had many, many "just the one" speedballs after a long hiatus, and invariably it has led me back into full-blown addiction. I'll be interested to hear how you get on.
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    #3
    Bluelighter MDPV_Psychosis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dankhead88
    ...fond and horrifying memories come back. Almost as if good nostalgia and PTSD came knocking at the door at the same time.
    Oh God can I relate to that. Well said. Hope things are going well with your attempt to stay mostly sober.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Rio Fantastic View Post
    I've had many, many "just the one" speedballs after a long hiatus, and invariably it has led me back into full-blown addiction. I'll be interested to hear how you get on.
    I certainly feel the old me coming back a little. It's not too bad, but a lot of addicts were just weekend warriors at one point. I definitely need to be careful though, can't throw my life away again.

    Quote Originally Posted by MDPV_Psychosis View Post
    Oh God can I relate to that. Well said. Hope things are going well with your attempt to stay mostly sober.
    Thank you friend. I just hope I never get back to the feeling of using just to feel normal day by day. It's the worst feeling, as if you're trapped by your own subconscious and physical sickness
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    #5
    Bluelighter Rio Fantastic's Avatar
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    I'm guessing from your post in the "What are you on" thread that you have rekindled your opiate addiction?
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Rio Fantastic View Post
    I'm guessing from your post in the "What are you on" thread that you have rekindled your opiate addiction?
    A little bit. Definitely not everyday. Stashed away 100mg for "emergencies" but definitely not enough to cause withdrawals. Can be a slippery slope though. Longest I've had heroin stashed away was 2 weeks. Going to see if I can break that record lmao
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    #7
    Shadowmeister
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    Oh man you're definitely playing with fire. Good luck man. I've never once been able to do an opiate and not slip back. It's been 4 and a half years since I got off them and I don't have any desire for them anymore which is good. Still not gonna fool myself into thinking I could use responsibly though.
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    #8
    Bluelighter Psychedalienation's Avatar
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    Stop while you're ahead my friend. :/
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    #9
    Trip report 2: The aftermath


    and you know what? I am back. I tried to control it. I've tried to tame it. I'm not gonna bullshit y'all. It's a full blown relapse at this point. I get sick as hell every morning. You know. I hate myself for this. I knew before I started this report, that it was a bad idea after being clean for so long. One part of me wants to be clean and addicted free but the other part of me don't want to quit substance use forever. I don't regret it, but I despise myself for giving in.

    I apologize to everyone here for being arrogant or had over-expectations.

    Before this report, I was able to get up every morning. Now, when I wake up. I can't get out of bed with all the pain and anxiety that's happening.

    I did this to myself and now I must face the repercussions of my carelessness. My mother, father, and brother doesn't know. Coworkers don't know. and my girlfriend doesn't know. The question is, how long can I put on a facade until the truth leaks through the mask? I can hide the track marks, the nod, the slurred speech, but I cannot hide the sickness.. Been sick twice, and within those sick days. I lay in bed for two days, kicking and screaming, not eating or drinking water, blocking my eyes from any hint of sunlight and moving around at night, punching my legs to stop moving.

    I want to thank y'all for encouraging me to stop and to reconsider my options. Of course, my arrogance got in the way and ultimately, I became dependent on opiates again.

    Now here I am, desperate. Bought and ordered tons of kratom and loperamide and see if I can somehow replace and then taper off back to my old state of normalcy. Wish me luck everyone.

    One lesson. No matter how much one can track themselves on their usage pattern. How safe and educated they are on heroin and addictive combos. It can fuck up anyone. Addiction has no favoritism or discrimination.

    One love y'all and stay safe out there. One thing that learning about drugs taught me. Dosage and proper administration. Never overdosed in my life. Thanks to you guys that I didn't become that user that licks his needles before using or use toilet water to mix my drugs. Here I am wiping my arm with alcohol and using sterile needles. I am grateful for the harm-reduction practices that you guys and Erowid have taught me. Cheers and here's to fighting the good fight!
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    #10
    Shadowmeister
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    Ah, man, I was hoping this wouldn't be the case... of course, not surprised. Well, you beat it once, even if it was temporary. You can do it again. And maybe next time you'll be able to reach that peaceful place of accepting you just can't ever do it again. I did that finally and the cravings are gone (it's been 4 and a half years). I still do other drugs, too. Some people I guess can't do anything because it ends up leading to everything but for me that's not the case anyway.
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