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Thread: Just another warning and some advice for when you blast your head off with MDMA

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    Just another warning and some advice for when you blast your head off with MDMA 
    #1
    Hey guys. Mainly typing this to keep occupied and keep my mind off of this depression, and for anyone it may help as well. I'm not trying to brag but we all know we get somewhat of a thrill out of it. I've been known for insane binges. 8 beans over 4 days, a whole bottle of acid over 1 week which was 100 hits, anyways what this post is about is an MDMA binge. These were pure beans, shipped from Holland, I know it was pure, and definitely why I'm not left with anxiety, just severe depression.

    I've done 8 rolls in the last 2 months. 4 days ago, I popped 1100mgs in one night. Not all at once but I spaced them out. I popped the last two at about 6 am that morning. Severe sweating, and VERY BAD urinary problems which have since gone away. It was extremely scary though. I had to urinate but it wouldn't come out. I had to sit or stand for several minutes before the stream would start. Throughout the roll I didn't feel terrible, but I didn't feel great. I would say throughout the roll I felt better than I did worse. As with any other binge, I can't say why I did it. Maybe I have some sort of subconscious death wish. I really can't say why I feel compelled to do this.

    Anyway, all of us know that nobody heeds to warnings. We always have to experience it ourselves. "Oh, that won't happen to me." After my 4 day MDMA binge I swore I would never do this again. That time I was left a panic attack straight for about a month, and severe dyspnea and anxiety for months that I thought would never go away. It took me about a year to forget that nightmare. From LSD binges I was left with tinnitus for 2 months, which thankfully has also gone away. Even though I've had bits of crying in the last few days from the depression, I can say the experiences have helped me with this stuff, and bragging aside I would like to offer some advice to anyone who is going decide to completely fuck themselves with MDMA. And we all know some people plan on it. I can already see people here planning to roll consecutive days, we never learn, but I beg you to not do it, but we all know that doesn't work.

    So what I have learned is yes, definitely 5HTP or Tryptophan. Even if it works as a placebo for some. What also worked was this stuff called Hypothalamus PMG, Black currant seed oil, folic acid, fish oil. I feel it worked for me, whatever people may say. Also for serotonin I would suggest getting some sunlight, and of course eating healthy.

    NOW, the most important advice I would like to offer is keeping a positive mindset, and people hate to hear that. What I have learned throughout all these binges though is that it does work. There is this thing called rewiring the brain, and it does work, and it takes some will power. This was extremely difficult for me in the beginning. Whether or not you believe in the Bible, words do have power, and thought has power. Negative thoughts will lead to more negative. If you are suffering from depression, do not tell yourself that it's not manageable and that you can't make it. Tell yourself it's barely manageable. If you want great evidence, please google search the Buddhist monks who are able to set themselves on fire without screaming at all. It can be done, although it takes some will. There are also people whose brains cannot feel any pain, so my point in saying this is the brain is very strange and little is known about it. And it can be rebuilt.

    Anyway, I still have this impending doom but I'm staying positive. I'm hoping I will be back to normal in a month or two, although I have never done 1100mg in one night before, but I'm staying positive. I am honestly counting my blessings that I don't have the tinnitus or anxiety, so that is helping me to stay positive. Although I feel depressed, I feel extremely lucky. MDMA horror stories break my heart, and it's something I would never wish on anybody. Funny thing is though, we do this to ourselves. The world of drugs. We are a strange breed indeed. I'm back to bluelight, and nothings really changed. People still going at it, which is why I am somewhat apathetic about this, but I hope this help to deter some, and if you've really done yourself, I hope my advice will help.

    MDMA depression is awful. It's a completely empty feeling. Nothing satisfies you, no words to describe it unless you have felt it before. It's the gloomiest feeling in the world. Please go easy on the ecstasy.
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    #2
    Never heard of the Hypothalamus PMG before, going to check it out. Sounds interesting.

    I also just have to throw a few things out there...

    You don't have to binge. That may be the best mind-frame to start with. You just don't have to do it. It is probably easier to change your attitude about needing to binge than change your attitude when suffering from severe depression.

    I've been rolling in moderation for 18 years. Despite seeing many other people binge unhealthily, I tried to follow the safety guidelines. That's why I'm still here.

    Did I take things too far a few times? Yeah, sure. But I never rolled two nights in a row, or took 100 hits of acid in a week.

    To believe that you can make devastatingly unsafe choices and still bounce back with the right attitude is probably not the best approach. Be safe. Don't push it. Think about the long game.

    I'm afraid, on some level, that people reading your post will think, "Oh, well, if he can recover from binging, then so can I." It doesn't always play out like that. You are lucky that positive thinking has worked for you, and you are feeling like you can recover in a few months.

    Also, you really don't know how pure anything is unless you are getting a full report from a lab. Even pills showing up as MDMA could have other adulterants in them that may not have been tested. Testing kits can be fooled. And Dutch MDMA...well, don't get me started. There are a lot of questions about what is going on with the manufacturing process and end product there.

    As an outside observer reading this post...man, be safe. You should ask yourself why you do this, and don't settle for not finding out the answer. What are you looking for? What are you lacking? Why is moderate use not enough? The answers you find may not be easy, but there is something to discover there.

    Best of luck to you.
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    #3
    Thanks for the kind reply. And that is the last thing I wanted is to encourage people, really I was hoping to help some people stay positive who really think they are doomed, to show that the brain can handle a lot, and can heal, but yes I most definitely do not want to encourage people to binge. I wanted to offer some motivation. And these binges are never planned. Like I see people on here saying, "oh I'm going to roll this many days in a row".

    I've never planned on a binge. It just kind of happens spur of the moment. Like I will say "yeah I feel good today, I'll do it again." But never know when that one time is going to be the jump off the cliff.

    Really my post was to help people who feel extremely doomed because it's the worst feeling in the world, second (shamefully I must admit) to boast and take my mind off of things, and third to offer a warning to people who are planning on rolling consecutive days, but people in the world of drugs never seem to heed to warnings, and honestly neither have I for the most part.

    I just wish I could put into words how awful the feeling can be, but it's something that really can't be described. The stories about "suicide tuesdays" are especially true. I've had suicide cross my mind in the past few days but I just keep telling myself this will come to pass.

    And about the testing kit, I really do appreciate the advice. but that is another endless battle that we all go through lol. They were very well made, very very clean and nice looking pills, and lots of people had taken them and tested them from his reviews. The roll was extremely clean, and tbh after binging that hard, I have a feeling the only reason I'm not completely screwed right now is that it was very clean stuff. Thanks for the kind reply bud, and not shaming me.
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    #4
    I seriously wish you the best. I have watched several close friends go through mental health problems. I wish I did not know what you are talking about, but I do. It is not easy to watch people you love go through suicidal ideation and depression.

    A few other things that may help you...

    Sub-lingual metylcobalamin is as easy to process form of b12 that can ease depression. It has worked very well for me after heavy MDMA use. Get a spray or a lozenge.

    Vitamin C has also helped my comedowns significantly.

    D3 can also help depression, but try small amounts. Some people react negatively.

    You are right that the state is temporary, and you will come out on the other side into the light.
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    #5
    Wow, thanks. Have not heard/thought of trying the b12, and Vitamin C, or D3. Will definitely give them a try. And I'm keeping very positive. I should be feeling a lot worse than I am considering what I've done. Even though those thoughts arise, I would never give in. Thanks man.
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    #6
    The Caretaker, you are wrong that no one will listen. I consider myself stubborn and I've been deterred a lot on this site. There are many more times lurkers than posters. Many will read your post and think twice.
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    #7
    Bluelighter
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    Quote Originally Posted by Inds View Post
    The Caretaker, you are wrong that no one will listen. I consider myself stubborn and I've been deterred a lot on this site. There are many more times lurkers than posters. Many will read your post and think twice.
    Very true. So many lurkers benefitting. I read this thread with great interest, as I just came upon some "pressies."
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    #8
    Wow, well that feels good to hear. Thanks guys. If I can say more, the rewiring the brain thing that I mentioned is more specifically called neuroplasticity. For anyone who feels they are permanently damaged from MDMA, hopefully this story will give motivation. I will summarize it if it is too much to read. This story is what saved me when I had the tinnitus.

    This kid was hit by a car and suffered a traumatic brain injury. The doctors thought he would never be able to walk or feed himself again. But he woke up and was determined to get better.

    He spent hours at home on brain-training software, played endless word and strategy games with his friends, practiced his viola to improve his bilateral coordination and fine motor skills, and Skyped with his German professor.

    He had a lot of will to get better. What stood out to me was that he didn't sit dwelling on how he's permanently disabled. He was determined to get better. This stuff really does work. I honestly believe that if somebody keeps telling themselves that they are depressed and won't get better, that they will just get involved in that mindset.

    Studies have shown that youth is a prominent factor in neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to form new connections to compensate for ones that get blocked or severed, to partially repair injured pathways and even to repurpose parts of the brain.

    This can work for depression and other things. I suffered nearly a month long panic attack one-time, and thankfully I didn't have any benzos so I didn't build an addiction. But eventually the attacks went away after a month. If I would have taken benzos, then if I were to come off of them I would just have more anxiety. Looking back I'm so glad I didn't have any. It may offend people, but I think most of us have looked too far into external things, like supplements, which can work, but I think relying on a pill to save us is not the main thing to do. I feel like it should be a secondary thing, to help. But the mind is most important. Eventually you will see improvement.

    I was like if that kid can do it, then I can do it too. Here is the story if anyone wants to read it. I honestly hope this helps people because it has worked for me, and it kills me to see people who 1-2 years later are still saying "I'm screwed, I'm never going to be the same again." Where there is a will, there is a way! You will recover!!! Stay safe fellas!

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/natio...=.5d3ad697fa69

    Tests indicate that Dylan may have lost some processing speed, but he is performing at high levels in spite of any residual cognitive deficits.

    This summer, Dylan graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Tufts, with an excellence award in history. According to neurologist Brian Edlow, associate director of Mass General’s NeuroTechnology Trials Unit, “After seeing Dylan’s MRI scan, if you had asked 100 doctors who were experts in TBI if they thought he was going to be Phi Beta Kappa, probably all 100 would have said no.”


    Edlow says, “Whenever a team of doctors feels like there is not much hope for a patient, I show them Dylan’s scan and say, ‘What do you think this kid’s chances of recovery were?’ Then when I tell them how well he is doing, everyone is just shocked and humbled, and at the very least rethinks their assessment of the patient before them.”
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    #9
    Bluelighter F.U.B.A.R.'s Avatar
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    The OP just serves to highlight the common fallacy that 'dutch beans' = good. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Dutch pills are highly dosed to compensate for poor quality product. It's a bit like buying a chipboard triple wardrobe from IKEA instead of a solid wood single from a local craftsman. The former may serve a purpose, but the latter is ultimately more satisfying.

    1100mg in one night? Don't be a dick...
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    #10
    well, I did not mean to imply that, but I was saying countless people who were buying from him had tested it already, I have no doubt what it was, A++
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