Bluelight

Thread: Various Pets, Alive and Dead

Results 1 to 24 of 24
  1. Collapse Details
    Various Pets, Alive and Dead 
    #1
    Moderator
    European & African Drug Discussion
    BecomingJulie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    The Banks of the Trent and Mersey Canal
    Posts
    4,349
    The day rarely goes by that I don't think of Chloe the Wonder Dog. She was a GSD cross, trained as an epilepsy support dog but versatile enough to be a Thinking Brain Dog for the Clueless.

    Among her delightful habits was: . Anytime we were out on a walk somewhere and I needed the toilet, she would piddle on top of my puddle.

    Let's hear everyone's stories about their four-legged companions!
    Reply With Quote
     

  2. Collapse Details
     
    #2
    Bluelighter Zopiclone bandit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    Memetic fields of Gabeistan
    Posts
    818
    God where to begin..........
    A dog I part owned saved me from a fire once which I have never forgot & I think of that doggo daily.

    I found this yesterday & it made me laugh so hard, this doggo is my spirit animal without question.
    F.U.B.A.R. I got the feeling you may laugh as much as I did if you watch this.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhmYh31jPiA
    Reply With Quote
     

  3. Collapse Details
     
    #3
    We had a pet duck which hated my brother and I and would try to peck us whenever it could. It would do this to everyone apart from my mother who it loved and would be really affectionate toward. One day our local pools man retired and left a brief goodbye note for the family to which I added underneath that he quit as he hates having to deal with our fucking duck. My mum totally believed it as well.
    Reply With Quote
     

  4. Collapse Details
     
    #4
    Remember taking our lurcher to a rather edgy free festival in the late 80's, full of Brew Crew types and convoy kids.

    Said lurcher (Mongoose by name) decided to get it on with another lurcher-type. As they were frantically shagging they somehow got twisted around so they were facing in opposite directions but were still, er, connected...

    This led to both dogs screaming in pain and to the doggy-owners considerable distress. A massive biker type who
    was selling hash hotknives was beside himself with laughter, he thought it was well funny when nobody else did.

    The dogs suddenly broke free and Mongoose jumped straight into my arms, knocking me backwards into the laughing biker, who then fell backwards himself....straight into his gas hotknife stove which was propelled into his massive tent, which was reduced to ash within seconds...he wasn't laughing then but plenty others were
    Reply With Quote
     

  5. Collapse Details
     
    #5
    Moderator
    Basic Drug Discussion
    F.U.B.A.R.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    12,120
    ^ it wasn't the magic mushroom festival at Ribblehead viaduct by any chance was it?
    Reply With Quote
     

  6. Collapse Details
     
    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by F.U.B.A.R. View Post
    ^ it wasn't the magic mushroom festival at Ribblehead viaduct by any chance was it?
    It was the elephant fair in Cornwall (I think....perhaps)

    I did attend the Ribblehead shenanigans twice though...late 80's
    Reply With Quote
     

  7. Collapse Details
     
    #7
    Bluelighter Zopiclone bandit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    Memetic fields of Gabeistan
    Posts
    818
    Quote Originally Posted by benson7 View Post
    We had a pet duck which hated my brother and I and would try to peck us whenever it could. It would do this to everyone apart from my mother who it loved and would be really affectionate toward. One day our local pools man retired and left a brief goodbye note for the family to which I added underneath that he quit as he hates having to deal with our fucking duck. My mum totally believed it as well.
    I love this, I tried to quote it yesterday but the computer went off for some reason.
    Hail to our duck overlords I say.
    Reply With Quote
     

  8. Collapse Details
     
    #8
    Bluelighter Buspersons Holiday's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Wild Wild West
    Posts
    2,370
    Quote Originally Posted by benson7 View Post
    We had a pet duck which hated my brother and I and would try to peck us whenever it could. It would do this to everyone apart from my mother who it loved and would be really affectionate toward. One day our local pools man retired and left a brief goodbye note for the family to which I added underneath that he quit as he hates having to deal with our fucking duck. My mum totally believed it as well.
    LOVED this story

    Quote Originally Posted by ageingpartyfiend View Post
    Remember taking our lurcher to a rather edgy free festival in the late 80's, full of Brew Crew types and convoy kids.

    Said lurcher (Mongoose by name) decided to get it on with another lurcher-type. As they were frantically shagging they somehow got twisted around so they were facing in opposite directions but were still, er, connected...

    This led to both dogs screaming in pain and to the doggy-owners considerable distress. A massive biker type who
    was selling hash hotknives was beside himself with laughter, he thought it was well funny when nobody else did.

    The dogs suddenly broke free and Mongoose jumped straight into my arms, knocking me backwards into the laughing biker, who then fell backwards himself....straight into his gas hotknife stove which was propelled into his massive tent, which was reduced to ash within seconds...he wasn't laughing then but plenty others were
    Lurchers are the only dogs I've ever had or am interested in (apart from greyhounds, you beautiful creatures)

    Quote Originally Posted by ageingpartyfiend View Post
    It was the elephant fair in Cornwall (I think....perhaps)
    I went to Elephant Fayre in the mid-eighties (that's another story - told in a 'first ever spliff' thread somewhere on bl)
    Are you sure you didn't mean Treworgey Festival in Cornwall in the late '80's? Your scene-setting describes that festival more than Elephant Fayre to me!

    My last love-of-my-life lurcher died over 15 years ago & I still shed the occasional tear over her now
    She was AMAZING & I miss her still

    I was too heartbroken for another dog, plus the expense deterred me
    I was paying the vet bill for months after they put her to sleep *kerching* & I walked out of there howling & clutching her collar, with my embarrassed teenager ushering me to the car
    Although I miss those early morning/late night walks & knowing where the moon's at in its phase, I like being able to go away somewhere for a couple of days, not have to worry about a dog-sitter or whether where I'm going accepts dogs & know the cats will be fine for a couple of nights with plenty of food & water & a cat flap

    I meant to actually talk about a cat episode that occurred today, but I've been waffling on about dogs for ages & I don't even like cats, even though they've stayed alive far longer than all my beloved dogs
    Reply With Quote
     

  9. Collapse Details
     
    #9
    I'm more a cat person, or a 'waifs, strays and oddballs' kind. Have only ever had a dog once, and that was after I realized some fuckwits were just chucking her out on the street all day and leaving her to fend for herself. There's always been something in me that just has zero tolerance or patience for bastards like that, and whether the critter has two legs, four or on occasion, 8 (last pets were some brown widow spiders. fucking coppers killed them in a raid, deliberately from what I can tell. I've a sickening feeling they were microwaved)

    Quite tame actually, for all their notoriety, black and brown widows are more of the 'curl up and hope it goes away' sort when something a potential threat is in the vicinity. Although one did get me once, after laying egg sacks, didn't half fucking hurt, and not just at the bite site, could hardly move the day after. But understandable enough, and usually they retreat, rather than go howling berserk like I've read of say, some people who kept Phoneutria spp. spiders, or giant centipedes as pets (Phoneutria=brazillian wandering spiders, just about the orneriest bunch of 8 legged psychos I've ever heard of, I've even read of one encounter, unintended, where someone tried flattening one with a broom, only to find a large, deadly spider sprinting up the handle intent on payback)

    And at least, calm disposition aside, they are relatively small, and can't really put on those sudden bursts of speed large mygalomorph and a couple of the more dangerous, large araneomorph spiders can (typically the ones that are the worst they have to offer by way of a bite, like Phoneutria, and the bigger, reportedly calm in captivity, but damn near invisible desert burrowing spiders related to recluse spiders, only with far fewer bites recorded to humans due to their naturally remote habitats, but when it has happened, the prognosis is grim, no antivenin available, and of two I am aware of, one guy died, the other lost an arm, apparently when kept as pets, they don't tend to be aggressive but can put on a real sprint, and try throwing themselves up tank walls) Just what you want to find in your shoes one day.

    Have had other odd pets, took in a baby hedgehog, and reared it up to strength before releasing it again, found in a back alley, stick thin, bugger all in the way of fat reserves, and would definitely not have survived the winter.

    A rook or raven, not sure which, a rescue after finding it wounded, the result of a shotgun blast, quite a few birds actually. Including one that was less a pet, more a momentary rescue, found a small sparrow type bird stunned in the middle of a road, think it had KOed itself flying into a bus shelter. Was going to take it to a nearby vet, only I had to go to a GP appointment myself,was on the way there at the time.

    So this little bird goes up the sleeve of my trenchcoat, intended to keep it safe, warm and calm in the dark. Only it didn't quite work out that way. Woke up mid consultation with the doc, shot out of my coat sleeve like a bullet and went on flying madly round the room. Eventually recaptured, with some effort, and a decidedly stunned GP, who did give me a bit of a telling off not to bring animals there again, but seemed to see the funny side of it, and that it was a rescue, so I didn't really have much choice at the time.

    Hard not to laugh your arse off, little bugger made quite a scene, flying around twittering like a meth-addled bat outa hell, around this small surgery room, absolutely golden the look on the GPs face, although I suspect I probably looked much the same, after it shot out of my sleeve like that. Wasn't banking on it waking up in the middle of my medical appointment. Christ it was fucking funny as though
    Reply With Quote
     

  10. Collapse Details
     
    #10
    Bluelighter Zopiclone bandit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    Memetic fields of Gabeistan
    Posts
    818
    Have only ever had a dog once, and that was after I realized some fuckwits were just chucking her out on the street all day and leaving her to fend for herself. There's always been something in me that just has zero tolerance or patience for bastards like that
    The term "bastards" is too kind & light, I would call them the perfect specimen for eugenics, it's people like that who are #1 for a trip to Treblinka extermination camp. Make NO mistake where I stand on people that do anything bad to dogs, I would smile to set them on fire.

    The day I learned online of the death of Gabe the dog (famous meme dog that "sings" along to music) I cired real tears, that dog was something so special to me.

    Gabe the Dog - Cotton Eye Dog (Rednex)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYiDjgzjnw8
    Reply With Quote
     

  11. Collapse Details
     
    #11
    I was....keeping my lips tightly bitten, so to speak. Because if I said what I would delightedly inflict on such disgusting, verminous FILTH, I'd probably get banned. But lets just say I have an AWFUL lot of corrosives and poisons here. Most of them awful in and of themselves. And there isn't one I'd not use on them. Hell a block of sodium up the backside and an enema of their own piss and battery acid would be amusing. Maybe pipe molten white phosphorus up there, to see how far I could make a gout of flaming WP launch out of their ears, nose and mouth. And how far I could launch the rest of them up into the air as an alkali metal explosion-propelled meat-missile.

    'human firecrackers', now there's an idea I haven't heard before. Bet I could make Rett Labs a fine line in such products, and with the right 'subject material' for the fireworks, they'd sell like hotcakes

    From the humble string of chinese vivisectionist crackers, or cheap exploding pikeys, to the willy pete paedophile multi-shot roman candle, oh I bet there'd be plenty takers. A bit of a messy cleanup though I bet. But who'd not want to watch multi-coloured flames and glow in the dark luminescent fire gout from various orifices of exploding hated unfortunately members of society.

    No, I really, REALLY have little tolerance for animal abusers. So little, you really have no idea of the kinds of things I will do to those I find being cruel to animals. I'd have no problem killing somebody for it, and in ways that would get me banned if I spoke of them here. And while I am not a 'dog person', I am all inclusive as far as what species I'll take in. From rescuing baby hedgehogs, to legless lizards (actually these are intended not to have legs, they never have them, called slow-worms, rare now, so I found a local habitat as a kid, and bred them for release in nearby areas to increase the population), to a brown widow, and black widow spiders that when found scuttling around the kitchen, were scooped up and given a stable, regularly cleaned home supplied with meals on tap. The brown widow female even liked it enough to breed and lay eggs.

    Fucking pork killed my spiders during an illegal raid based on a warrant fraudulently obtained. Not charged. But they killed my pets. Even 100s of little baby brown widows, I'd even warned the fucking cunts about the spiders so they knew not to go sticking their porcine trotters in there. They'd taken the container downstairs, and I found it, with not a single living thing, dessicated bone dry. On top of the microwave.

    I KNOW what they did. And that, just to fucking hurt me, that is beyond sick. They'd never have got away with it if they weren't spiders. But who is going to care about 100s of venomous Latrodectus? 'ooohh, its got 8 legs and venomous fangs, why should we care they were roasted alive'. If it were a cat, a dog, anything fluffy, I would have been able to use popular opinion and the media as a weapon. But shit, I'd probably be cast as the bad guy, just because 'ew, spiders'.

    Who the FUCK goes and BUTCHERS 100s of baby creatures. Defenseless, tiny babies and ones even unhatched egg sacks? MICROWAVED to death for for cunting christ's sake? maybe most people might not like critters with 8 legs, but that doesn't mean an animal lover who'd taken them in as pets does not grieve when they are slaughtered just to stab at me.

    And people wonder why I hate the filth so fucking much?
    Reply With Quote
     

  12. Collapse Details
     
    #12
    Moderator
    Basic Drug Discussion
    F.U.B.A.R.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    12,120
    'cheap exploding pikeys'

    Fuckin gold...
    Reply With Quote
     

  13. Collapse Details
     
    #13
    Bluelighter KingOfWessex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Location
    South-West UK
    Posts
    1,425
    Where do you lot stand on the choking of chickens??
    Reply With Quote
     

  14. Collapse Details
     
    #14
    Moderator
    Basic Drug Discussion
    F.U.B.A.R.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    12,120
    I wring my chicken's scrawny neck until it pukes every night mate. Love it...
    Reply With Quote
     

  15. Collapse Details
     
    #15
    Bluelighter KingOfWessex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Location
    South-West UK
    Posts
    1,425
    Quote Originally Posted by F.U.B.A.R. View Post
    I wring my chicken's scrawny neck until it pukes every night mate. Love it...
    Halal???
    Reply With Quote
     

  16. Collapse Details
     
    #16
    Moderator
    Basic Drug Discussion
    F.U.B.A.R.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    12,120
    My meat is strictly haram...
    Reply With Quote
     

  17. Collapse Details
     
    #17
    I can't believe they allow halal food to be produced or imported. I'd have no problem with the likes of some priest saying a blessing while the animal lives, and THEN humanely stunning and killing it, but to bugger about praying while the animal is suffering, thats the sort of thing that makes me want to subject the halal slaughter'men' to the same sort of treatment. See how they like it when what goes around, comes around.
    Reply With Quote
     

  18. Collapse Details
     
    #18
    Bluelighter Zopiclone bandit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    Memetic fields of Gabeistan
    Posts
    818
    Without question the most cute Interweb dog
    https://www.facebook.com/cumlordofficial/
    Reply With Quote
     

  19. Collapse Details
     
    #19
    I read the address and I'm NOT clicking that
    Reply With Quote
     

  20. Collapse Details
     
    #20
    Moderator
    Basic Drug Discussion
    F.U.B.A.R.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    12,120
    Quote Originally Posted by Limpet_Chicken View Post
    I read the address and I'm NOT clicking that
    Yeh, it wasn't the 'cumlord' that put me off, it was the fuckin 'Facebook' bit (shudder...)
    Reply With Quote
     

  21. Collapse Details
     
    #21
    Actually, it was both that did it for me. Facebook, I can just about avoid puking.

    Something fucked up between a woman and a dog...that depends.

    Both together, fucking hell that is one fucked up drunken speedfreak crackwhore scenario. Legions of fucked in that link title. I don't want to know. Not yet.
    Reply With Quote
     

  22. Collapse Details
     
    #22
    Moderator
    Basic Drug Discussion
    F.U.B.A.R.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    12,120
    Meh, I would so click on it if I didn't have to go via twatfuck. Every time I make the mistake of logging on there, I get inundated with messages and requests from people I don't want to fuckin know. Just leave me alone you cunts!!!


    Anyway, back on topic.

    When I was born, my parents had a two year old black Labrador and border collie cross. They were a little apprehensive about how he would react when I took over the role as baby of the family. They had no need to worry - he sat by my cot all day long watching over me. Although he was never aggressive with humans, anyone coming close to my cot would get a cursory growl - just to let them know he was watching. I grew up with that dog. He put up with all the cruel shit that a toddler can bestow on an animal, never once turning on me.

    When I was thirteen, he suddenly died of kidney failure. I cried for three days solid. The death of no other creature has caused that level of grief (except for our first child, but that's another story), including my parents.

    My kids keep saying they want a dog, but I can't face it because nothing will ever replace him. I know that's selfish, but pets have the tendency to keep dying on you...
    Last edited by F.U.B.A.R.; 22-07-2018 at 22:11.
    Reply With Quote
     

  23. Collapse Details
     
    #23
    Bluelighter Zopiclone bandit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    Memetic fields of Gabeistan
    Posts
    818
    Cumlord is the best interweb doggo ever, you lot have sick minds!!!!

    cumlord trailer
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UC1DbWcwIEQ
    Reply With Quote
     

  24. Collapse Details
     
    #24
    Quote Originally Posted by Buspersons Holiday View Post



    I went to Elephant Fayre in the mid-eighties (that's another story - told in a 'first ever spliff' thread somewhere on bl)
    Are you sure you didn't mean Treworgey Festival in Cornwall in the late '80's? Your scene-setting describes that festival more than Elephant Fayre to me!
    Oh dear you've got me all confuzzled now regarding which festi was which (all a bit of a daze thesedays) - all I can say is that it was a Cornish free-festi (I was at Treworgey too btw, but dogless on that occasion, thank fuck)

    Back on topic you've also got me thinking about my old dogs too (also dogless for a while now due to stupid circumstances)

    One time a spaniel of mine had put his beloved blue rubber ring on a rock which was a few feet into a river....for some reason only known to him he wouldn't retrieve it and so, afraid for his state of mind should we abandon the ring, I decided to get it myself as there was another rock-type thing a couple of feet from the other rock and easily jumpable-to.

    Jumped onto the rock. It wasn't a fucking rock. It was just some shite that had gathered near the riverbank which my stoned mind perceived of as a rock. Spaniel though it was fantastic and jumped in the river after me for mirth and merriment. I just wasn't feeling it oddly enough.

    There were a few fishermen on the other side of the river who were already well pissed off with me and spaniel for, presumably. fucking up their fishing. It must have looked like I just jumped into the river on purpose to them and they fair howled with laughter
    Reply With Quote
     

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •