Thread: Insane Trip Report! 3-3.5 grams of Powerful Mushrooms Alone - Ego Death + White Light

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    Insane Trip Report! 3-3.5 grams of Powerful Mushrooms Alone - Ego Death + White Light 
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Midwest USA
    Ok guys. So this happened on the 4th of July, 2009 and I'm still having a little trouble integrating this. If you have any ideas as to how to possibly integrate something like this, and if you think I had a bad trip for the first part and even after I found a trip sitter, please let me know..

    So here goes...

    It's the 4th of July, 2009. I had had one powerful trip in February and a test dose trip two days prior to this. On the first trip I had time to walk to the gas station with my friends and then 5-10 more minutes to smoke weed before hallucinations started. Hallucinations came on slow and gentle.

    Not this time..

    This time I took the shrooms and drove to the gas station to get some trip snacks. I was going to trip at home, possibly with my family there who didn't even know I was into tripping. I got to the gas station, brought some Mt. Dew and some other shit. As I'm driving home, one of the trees whips to the side, as if being blown by a Spiritual wind. I was like "Fuck." and floored it. I had driven on my test dose two days before that and drove, which was a big mistake as I didn't even know which part of the road I was driving on.

    I made it home and as I parked my car, I looked at the window. The dust on the window was oozing down the window, and again, I was like "Oh shit." and ran up the stairs and into my apartment. I ran upstairs and into my room, which was a mess (Clothes and a bunch of shit on the floor). At this point, things got ridiculously intense.

    The trip came up insanely quick, and within a minute reality had literately been ripped apart at the seams. I was like "Omg this is too intense." At this point I realized I was alone and was like "I wish someone was with me." I lay on my bed and look over to my computer. The cords that were plugged into the computer were broken into a thousand pieces and flying around the room like locusts. Everything was violently swirling around me.

    At this point I was like "Ok I'm just going to watch TV. Yeah, I'll just watch TV and relax." Big mistake. I turned the TV on and 'That 70s Show' was on and it was the episode with the music special and they were singing that song that goes "I can't see me loving nobody but you...for all my life!". I don't remember if this happened but I'm pretty sure the voices were echoing (Example: If someone said the word "I" then I would here "I..I...I..I..i..i..i..i"). I remember the next thing for sure. The mom's head popped out of the TV and so were everyone else's (I think this was a subconscious cue because I remember an episode were one of them was high and saw Red and Hyde's heads were floating around.).

    The room suddenly lit up (I had those ceiling lights that hung from the ceiling) and it felt like the room was a stage. Lights were constantly becoming a lot brighter and changing color. I was like "Oh my God!" and grabbed the controller and turned the TV off.

    I was like "I should probably go to bed. Yeah, I'll just take a nap and go to bed." I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. Obviously this didn't work. I don't remember if I had any CEVs but I could feel the bed flipping like 'Flip flip flip flip flip' and was like "Oh god no!" and opened my eyes.

    Next part was the worst. My phone's alarm went off and started going "Beep beep beep beep." and I got up and could barely walk. I stumbled around and looked for my phone but my room was a mess so everything was flying around everywhere. It was fucking ridiculous how fast everything was going and it felt like this trip was at least 10X more powerful than my first powerful trip on 3.5 grams. Luckily, I somehow found my phone and started hitting buttons until the beeping stopped.

    By now I realized that I had made a mistake and didn't want to be tripping, but I had nobody with me to help me and I didn't know about benzos or antipsychotics and how they could put the brakes on a trip if it became too intense. I tried to open the door, but when I reached for it it wasn't there. The room had stretched and I had to stumble forward to open it. I went to the bathroom right by my room and leaned over the toilet, trying to puke it out. The toilet felt like a well. Too bad I didn't know that by this point the Psilocybin had already converted to Psilocin and couldn't be expunged from my body. I would have to wait it out. I couldn't even puke anyway.

    So, I went back into my room and lay on my bed. I heard whispers, and the room had a vibe to it that made me feel like I was in a forest or jungle, and the entities started whispering to me. They didn't come off as having bad intentions. They were actually really kind and friendly.

    By this point my mom and stepdad were home (I had heard the door open and heard them come in.). I decided that the trip was too intense and decided that I would have to tell my mom what was going on. I made my way downstairs and saw my mom sitting on the porch. I made my way outside and she was sitting there and reading a book. She was like "What's up?" and I was like "I'm tripping." and she's like "On what?" and I was like "Mushrooms." and she was like "When did you take them?" and I was like "About thirty minutes ago." and she was like "Ok let's go inside."

    Now, I want to bring up that neither my mom nor stepdad were hippies. Not at all, and neither had ever tripped before. At this point, I was afraid that neither of them would understand or be ok with me tripping, so I said "I want somebody to take me to the hospital." Thankfully, they didn't take me. That would've been too embarassing and the entire trip would've been a bad trip.

    They start arguing and I'm like "No no it's ok." At this point the syesthesia kicks in and this white light beings pouring in through our massive windows. A musical theme beings playing that sounded like a mix of 'The Temple of Time' theme from Ocarina of Time and something out of a hallmark card.

    My mom decided to take me into her room and said "I'm going to look this up." I laid on the bed and for the first time throughout the trip I felt safe. Just having somebody with me to watch me literately caused the trip to do a 360 degree spin and I found myself enjoying the thoughts, feelings, and visuals that I was experiencing. She eventually said "Well it's not addictive so I think you'll be fine." Then she asked me if I wanted crackers or juice and all I could do was just nod 'no'.

    She said "Ok" and asked me "Do you want to watch Alice in Wonderland? That seems like a pretty good movie for a trip." and I instantly nodded "Yes". So she put the movie in and we watched it. At some point a white light poured in through the window and started talking to me. Idk if it was the entities in the room or the white light coming in through the window but something told me I was infinitely loved, and I could feel the love. It was the purest form of love that a person could feel. I felt absolute bliss.

    My stepdad walked in and said "Your brother doesn't know that you do these drugs!" and he was yelling at me, but I kept it together and managed to utter "He doesn't know." and he walked out of the room.

    I don't remember much after that, so I'll tell you guys what I do remember. I was in a good place for the rest of the trip and consider it a good trip from here on out. At some point, I managed to ask for a cigarette and my mom was like "Ok but I'm going to watch you to make sure you don't drop it." So I smoked my cigarette and looked into the ash tray. The ashes were moving around in the ashtray and slithering around like snakes.

    Also, I remember feeling like I was in a forest again and everything was moving around at an extremely intense speed. Literately everything I saw was distorted at max level. I looked at the walls and they weren't just breathing, they were throbbing violently in and out incredibly fast, faster than I've ever seen even in my future trips! I remember the part were the queen says "Off with her head!" and the cards start chasing her. At the point when they're all running back and forth throughout the maze and the part were Alice slides down the card slide I could see a bunch of neon colors flying out of the TV, and they looked just like the cards only neonic!

    At some point my mom asked me "What exactly are you seeing?" and I yelled "Shit!!" and she was like "Ok then.." When the movie ended I got up and went into the bathroom next to her room and looked into the mirror. I know people say don't look into the mirror unless you love yourself because you'll see your 'true self' or 'what you think of yourself' but I looked into it and saw myself morphing around and I was a lot brighter than usual. My eyes were completely black, no outer white at all (maybe a little but I didn't see any).

    When the movie ended she said she was gonna go into the living room for a bit and she'd put another movie on. She put on 'The Jungle Book' and I didn't really pay attention to it (I would've preferred Aladdin tbh). I remember that my laughter felt like it was so loud that the whole world could here it. I felt twisted, sort of like a pretzel or that twisted corridor in the Forest Temple in Ocarina of Time. I can't even begin to imagine what I actually looked like to those not completely enveloped in the Spirit World.

    Finally, the peak ended and I started to come down. I went into the living room, and we live in a loft. I told my stepdad that I had had a good trip and he said "Just be careful you said you wanted to go to the hospital at one point." and I remember thinking that it wasn't just out of fear but more-so that I felt like they wouldn't understand but I didn't say anything. I gave him a hug (we never hug, ever) and sat on the couch next to my mom. I put my head on her shoulder and she had this awkward vibe, like it was weird that I was doing that.

    Although I wasn't peaking anymore, I looked up at the ceiling and could see the blankets hanging from the ceiling with Kiss on them and probably some other stuff, and they were just oozing down towards the ground like a very slowly moving waterfall. After I came down a little more we all went to a fireworks show and I swear to god I was still lightly tripping and they were the most beautiful fireworks that I've ever or probably will ever see in my entire life.

    We got home and I went to bed, and woke up feeling a little shaken but glad to see that everything was back to normal.

    This trip was really divisive, and I believe that everything happens for a reason. Maybe it turned out this way because I wasn't really connecting with my family at the time and I had to see that my mom actually cared about me, or maybe it was the shrooms giving me a merciful warning to not underestimate their sheer power. After this trip I learned to never underestimate psychedelics again and to take every precaution necessary before tripping.

    I remember being really awkward around some of my friends for a while after that, but I eventually overcame that.

    So I ultimately want to know, what do you guys think about this? Was this a bad trip, a difficult trip, or a split between bad and then good? Also wanted to say that after this I've never been able to bring myself to take a high dose of mushrooms again. Do you think the 30 minutes of potentially bad trip made me fear them to a point where I'm too afraid to take them?

    I'd really like to have another shroom trip at some point in my life as they're the best Psychedelic I've come across that makes you feel completely cleansed and you're basically immune to stress, depression and anxiety for like 6 months after the trip.

    One more thing. From late March to late July of this year I was microdosing LSD every few days and then once a week towards the end and it's opened up all my thoughts and feelings about that trip in particular. I think about it at least once almost every single day and would just like to know why and move on from it. If you made it to the end then thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed my story!

    Tagged by Xorkoth
    Last edited by Shadowmeister; 28-08-2018 at 18:32. Reason: Break Up Paragraphs
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    Shadowmeister's Avatar
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    Feb 2006
    Wow, that sounds like a heavy experience! I firmly believe that you should just think of this as a difficult trip. "Bad trips" do happen but it has so much to do with how you frame the experience in your mind. Some of my most rewarding trips have been extremely difficult to live through, but I wouldn't ever take them back. Sometimes people experience intense fear or difficult things and become fixated on it and allow the experience to become negative for them. PTSD is a real thing, but in some experiences, you can choose whether to be traumatized or not.

    It's cool your mom was there for you, I had a difficult trip once where my mom freaking out was the reason it was difficult.

    Also, thanks for adding in paragraph breaks.
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