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Thread: UK Heroin dealer Story/Vent

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    UK Heroin dealer Story/Vent 
    #1
    I could write about how I got into Heroin but that's another story, this story is about a Crack and Heroin addict "Me" and the last few days which have been eye opening.

    It starts on Saturday when I phone my guy at 10am and he tells me "after 5 Bruv" in his multicultural London accent, I don't need Heroin I have enough for the day but i like to buy in bulk 2 to 3 times a week and stay on top of it. I have 3 bags left I have been averaging 5 a day so with ?100 at 5 each i will get 10 bags of "Dark" and 10 "light" (I think you can figure out what the colour shades indicate). I will also get 2 extra bags for my large purchase and loyal service.

    I have a dealer lets call him "Red" I have been using for around 2 months he is a jovial character and I actual cannot believe he sells class A drugs for a living as he seems far too nice a person often telling me "sorry I'm late Bruther" and joking with me about his day, but I often have tell myself you cannot really know this person from a trade of cash for drugs and he must be in a circle of some very dangerous people.
    As the light fades he still hasn't arrived and I phone him to see if he is "en route" which he assures me he is and I start the "phone/clock watch" which is a behavior any addict will understand.

    He arrives at 10 on the dot and calls me to say he is here, I bounce out the house like a kid on his way to the park full of momentary energy and vigour, I notice someone is in the front seat which is a bit odd but whatever I want my drugs! I climb in the bac and the smell Skunk hits me like a hammer and I have to clear my throat, Red is his usual self apologizing for being late an joking about the unfortunate events that led to his tardiness and we banter back and forth as I slip in "10 of each please" to the conversation. I am very aware of this person in the passenger seat, he is there alright! not a big figure but his lack of attention to my presence is making me a little unsettled, he is like statue except for his arm holding a joint moving very slowly back and forward from his mouth taking huge draws as the ember explodes to life. As we wrap up deal get into the courteous goodbyes the figure moves and looks at me with this deadpan stare making me feel nervous and I notice Red has stopped talking so I squeeze out a awkward "alright mate", he doesn't flinch but instead moves the joint towards me and a deep Jamaican accent says "Blaze Ganga" and it feels like a order not a question. I'm fully aware of how much I hate Cannabis as all of my psychological meltdowns can be laid at the feet of this drug, simply put it "fucks my head up". At the same time I am same time I am arguing that I smoke crack and Heroin on a daily basis its time you "man up and learn how to smoke weed". So I take it and blaze the shit with deep pulls looking at the joint as I exhale out my nose (I seen Rastas on TV smoke it this way) I pass it back to him and think I have gained his respect with my performance he smiles and bellows out a barry white laugh which we all join in as I exit the vehicle.

    The car pulls away and I am light headed and very aware of a pulse in my head and trying to distract myself from it then my heart skips a beat and as quick as that I desperately manage to say "SHIT!" and I'm in panic. I'm talking life threatening gun to your head life on the line PANIC! and I start to shake and reason with it but its like trying to reason with a prison governor as he walks you down death row towards the electric chair. I walk but am totally numb in shock and breathing erratically in short sharp bursts, I notice a person on the other side of the road and turn away from him not wanting to draw attention to myself and embarrass myself, its nice to know my Ego still holds a place for shame and social insecurity in this terrifying situation. As he moves away from me my vision becomes jumpy then blurry and I feel disconnected from my body and at the moment when i lose myself altogether everything turns Black.

    TBC
    Last edited by freesolo123; 05-09-2018 at 20:06.
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    #2
    Administrator Sadie's Avatar
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    TBC!!!! Damn you! I was in the middle of that read! "Hooked" AF!
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    #3
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    And then, everyone walk the dinosaur ��
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    #4
    When I saw how much you had wrote I was expecting a bit more action, like pieces being shown, a comedy misunderstanding or the cops busting in. But it just seems you scored skag and had a bit of a whitey.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by benson7 View Post
    When I saw how much you had wrote I was expecting a bit more action, like pieces being shown, a comedy misunderstanding or the cops busting in. But it just seems you scored skag and had a bit of a whitey.

    Yeah, this.

    You write well mate, but did he reappear and cut your head off while you wrote this BL post? What's the eye-opening bit?
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    #6
    I started writing and suddenly realised this is going to take longer than I thought will fill in the next few days asap. Thanks for the feedback I am not a writer it is just really a vent and insight into the life of a Heroin user.

    It was a Panic attack not a "Whitey" incase there is confusion, had my first ever panic attack at 13 and it was from eating dope and even today the drug still has a negative effect on me I think if I had started it later in life I might have been OK but that early experience had a massive effect on my subconscious.
    Last edited by freesolo123; 06-09-2018 at 21:17.
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    #7
    I wake up in what feels like a instant and am on my knees with my head almost touching the floor how I got into this position god knows but I suspect as my non-vital functions shut off I climbed down to stop myself falling over, as I sit up I feel queasy and am still shaking but the life threatening panic has subsided and I slowly get to my feet and start to head home, I get in safely my mouth is dry and the feeling of nausea has subsided and transformed into a craving for something sweet and I head straight into the kitchen to grab a can of ice cold coke and drain every last sip like my life depended on it.

    I sit myself down at the table and start to laugh shaking my head going over the last 15 minutes of my life thinking about how all the meltdowns in my life are weed related and yet I still try to smoke it "Will I ever learn?" i mutter to myself, Then just like that I remember what my primary objective is like the Teminator in my Arnie voice "Crack and Heroin I'm coming for you!" .
    My first rock of the day and this anticipation before I use crack is has been better than the actual drug lately due to my almost daily abuse of it and I try to savour the feeling as I pull out the stones tightly wrapped in clingfilm and start to count them one by one unwraping one of them as it falls onto my copy of Russel Brands Freedon from Addictions which I have yet to read and the sick irony of it doesn't even enter my mind I am like a man possessed, this moment before you use a drug like Coke or Heroin is a force of nature and it would take exactly that to break me away from my pipe as the lighter sparks to life and the glass touches my lips simultaneously, I pull slowly at first treating the rock like a lover kissing it gently with the flame teasing before I let the heat engulf it and suck like vampire feeling the warm chemical flood into my lungs moments later it bursts around my body as my dopamine come back online, I lay back holding the thick smoke in my lungs for a few seconds then exhale and a wave of relief floods over me and i feel every worry in the world fall away. Its a feeling that every Crack head knows a feeling we try to emulate time and time again we want to catch it and hold it but its not ours we just borrow it for a moment, I glance at the stones all wrapped up like fresh meat and know I have 9 more attempts on goal I can already sense it leaving and know that these others will just be poor immations compared to my first effort but the rules say you play till there gone.
    Its a strange game crack cocaine the deck is rigged and you know you have lost before you start but players come back every time.
    Last edited by freesolo123; 06-09-2018 at 23:25.
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    #8
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    ^ Beautifully written. Well done sir..!
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    #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by freesolo123 View Post
    I one of them as it falls onto my copy of Russel Brands Freedon from Addictions which I have yet to read and the sick irony of it doesn't even enter my mind
    i ended up using that as a surface when i went to visit one of the Leeds BL crew recently. found it hilarious given I was stepping things up a notch while I was there.

    fuck you have made me crave crack so badly!! argh you bastard. you have basically expressed in words the insanity closer than i've ever read before..
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    #10
    Thanks guys I thinks easier to write about something you have a passion for even if that passion is as low as crack.
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