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Thread: What was your rock bottom??

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    What was your rock bottom?? 
    #1
    I have heard people say to get clean people have to hit the bottom or at least get close, what point did you say fuck this its over?
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    #2
    Bluelighter Zopiclone bandit's Avatar
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    Said it so many times before yet I always seem to slip back into old ways, I think some people will be addicted for the rest of their life & me being one.
    What do you class as rock bottom OP?

    What you may call hitting the bottom others may not see it the same, when you hit low say for example having to live rough & you notice you can survive & find ways to get through the day it doesn't seem that bad all of a sudden.
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    #3
    Bluelighter pinkpapaver's Avatar
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    I'd be agreement. There's different degrees within the rock bottom state.

    Whenever I smoked crAck, that gave me the shame Rock bottom feeling every time.
    I could say in at rock bottom now as I've pretty much no money, but saying that. I've roof over head and my son helping out with living e,xprnses. And I feel fantastic in spirit and body pretty much.
    A rock bottom sense came a few months back when all thd things I had to do the things I love as distractions got bruck up in a row, so all I had was my own tormented mind. So there's, that's it but I'm still half craving gear altho I'm on subs, being on subs I'd say is rock bottom. They remove my sense of feeling and normality. Am currently working out whether they are worth it.
    Very hard, very hard to stop the heroin. If I didn't have to deal with shit head dealers and had the funds to continue sustaining the dependency chances are I would. Its my leveller for the anxiety.
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    #4
    Bluelighter
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    not losing my job

    not losing all my savings

    not selling my body

    not destroying my family

    not needing antibiotics >6 times (those are just the scripts i could affird) in less than a year, this is not normal!!!

    not my head being covered in scabs and blood dripping every time i have a large hit of crack

    not being followed round my local shops by security cos i had to steal to eat

    not going under with bells ringing in my ears and being genuinely surprised to wake up 30 mins later no ambulance

    home is only thing left to lose

    don't smoke crack
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    #5
    Bluelighter LoginNotSecure's Avatar
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    Stay strong people.
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    #6
    Bluelighter
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    i forgot one

    not being arrested for possession, i spent 10 hours in a cell swearing never to use again. arranged to score as the cops were driving me home lololol.

    another....

    not learning that it was standard for dealers to rape female addicts once they learned where they lived, oh yeah you get paid a bit or two but you have no choice
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by chinup View Post
    not losing my job

    not losing all my savings

    not selling my body

    not destroying my family

    not needing antibiotics >6 times (those are just the scripts i could affird) in less than a year, this is not normal!!!

    not my head being covered in scabs and blood dripping every time i have a large hit of crack

    not being followed round my local shops by security cos i had to steal to eat

    not going under with bells ringing in my ears and being genuinely surprised to wake up 30 mins later no ambulance

    home is only thing left to lose

    don't smoke crack
    sometimes what doesn't count as rock-bottom can be way more revelatory of a situation than what does...powerful stuff many thanks for sharing

    (one of my) rock-bottoms (plurals are possible it seems) was seeing a child of mine totally distraught (and i mean totally) as thought daddy was about to die any minute (after a stupid just-say-no type presentation at primary school)

    what was not rock bottom was waking up with blood all over the bed, and the walls, and then throwing up shit loads of blood after that...only to begin session-ing again within the hour...
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    #8
    Bluelighter
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    Quote Originally Posted by ageingpartyfiend View Post
    (one of my) rock-bottoms (plurals are possible it seems) was seeing a child of mine totally distraught (and i mean totally) as thought daddy was about to die any minute (after a stupid just-say-no type presentation at primary school)
    reminds me of how my ex discovered his mum was an alcoholic. he didn't get picked up from school one day, when he got home she was unconscious on the floor and he thought she was dead. that wasn't her rock bottom. neither was having a child who was touch and go on survival due to foetal alcohol problems, neither was bankruptcy and loss of the family home.

    amazingly, she's now sober. turns out she didn't need a final rock bottom.
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    #9
    Bluelighter pinkpapaver's Avatar
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    Ha ha, life and its full circles, yeah, rock bottom for me was my son breaking my hurling sticks, my fiddle and threatening to drop the dog off... A few middle aged illnesses and injuries...
    Whoa, it ain't normal for dealers to rape their customers, no siree., not for me. Plenty of slimy fuckers selling the crack and smack for sure but I always did my best, in the latter years at least to select my suppliers rather than let them select me.
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    #10
    Bluelighter pinkpapaver's Avatar
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    Oh, and spending way way too long on Facebook. That's rock bottom. That's rock bottom.... Thank fuck my son took my phone away, stopped me doing what I love, taking pictures of grime and beauty and truths in the city. I phones are shit. Using an I phone. Yep, that was rock bottom for me, using a shit I phone. Soon as I had cash after that, the lot went on a phone with a decent camera. Pm me for pics and details! Ha ha!
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    #11
    Bluelighter pinkpapaver's Avatar
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    It's a process, op, it's a process, it's a craft, it's an art, just like there's never one specific point you go, right, that's it, I'm turning to drink and drugs, it's a process. Get gardening.
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    #12
    Bluelighter
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    forgot two biggies

    not losing the love of my life- he moved back from australia to give things another shot. i thought that'd make me quit but i was so naive.

    not when my psychosis symptoms intensified from the standard noises you hear- everyone talking about you even though there's no one there, whistling when you're waiting to score (this is very very standard mild crack psychosis)- to the buildings breathing, being alive, and malevolent.
    Last edited by chinup; 19-09-2018 at 15:57. Reason: s/too/two/ learn sed guys
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