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Thread: Cocaine Scared Me - First Time Use

  1. #1
    Greenlighter HipsterUnicorn's Avatar
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    Apr 2018
    Where Life Takes Me

    Cocaine Scared Me - First Time Use

    This is my first thread outside of the introductory ones so I'll go by the format I usually see on posts like this.
    About me I'm 19, male. I smoke marijuana heavily (5-7+ bowls a day) when I can afford it, other than that my daily habit is vaping (nicotine). I have extensive experience with a large variety of substances, and by extensive I mean more times than I can count. I won't name specifics as that is not the subject matter of this post, but they have been both legal, illegal, prescription, OTC, etc. I have always been of the mindset "say maybe to drugs". For me it all depends on the setting and situation as well as how much I trust the source and what I know about a substance. I have always told myself and others that the only substances I will never try are Meth, Heroin, PCP, or Cocaine. The first is due to seeing what does to people I know firsthand, the second is due to to the same factor, and the third because it's just fuckin' dangerous, but the fourth... Honestly I never quite had a reason besides it didn't really interest me, and I was satisfied with weed, psychedelics, club/rave drugs, and the occasional pills. Over time I no longer saw cocaine as a "hard" drug but even still I didn't have an interest in seeking it out. But last week when I went to buy a quarter of weed from my dealer and he offered me cocaine I decided to buy 0.5g as a one time thing just to be able to say I had done it.

    I got to my friends house and told him what I had purchased and he was like WTF but let me do it (he only smoked the weed). I did a small line at first, as it was my first time and I wanted to take it slow to begin. Then he told me to just finish it up so that there wasn't coke laying out in his room. I began cutting up lines and snorted another line or two alternating nostrils. It didn't burn, and after about 3 minutes I realized I was feeling a bit warm and actually a bit mellowed out with only the slightest bit of headspace. But by the 4th or 5th line was when things changed. I realized that the roof of my mouth was numb and I was starting to get postnasal drips. But what also changed was my frequency of insufflation. I was doing lines as fast as I could make them and didn't think anything of it until my friend was like WTF are you doing as I was scraping any last crumbs but mostly nothingness together for "just one last line".

    He told me that was enough and wiped my "not really a line" onto the ground and I actually felt sad. I had just done a half gram of coke in about 7 minutes after having never used before yet was already having the urge for more. That is what scared me. The high was far more mild than even marijuana, yet the craving was more intense than any substance I have used before. I felt like I had a feeling in my lungs similar to nicotine withdrawls from Newport 100's or Marlboro Reds but far more intense. My friend told me to pack up a bowl of Mary Jane to get my mind off it, yet without even realizing it I spent 9 minutes talking about how I was never going to do coke again because I liked it way too much for how mild it was. Then finally about 10-15 minutes after my last line I sparked up the bowl but it just was not as enjoyable as it usually is for me. We smoked a few bowls and I asked how my eyes were (my pupils normally dilate or stay the same on weed) and he said they were small as fuck which I knew was a side effect of cocaine.

    I went to the bathroom to wash my face and I realized that I was high as hell and had the body and head high from the weed, but that the bodyload was a lot less pronounced due to the coke. It's hard to explain because the body high was there but the head high was far more noticeable almost like I was a bobblehead. We continued to smoke and both got very high, I am social when high but not chatty, yet this time I was chatting up a storm, occasionally I would realize that I was interrupting my friend or was not letting him speak, but in my state I didn't even see that as a bad thing, I didn't feel bad for interrupting him midsentance to go on a 5 minute rant about something not important, and honestly the thought that I SHOULD let him speak didn't even cross my mind. I wasn't trying to cut him off but I guess I completely lost conversational cues or just plain 100% didn't care because I had important stuff to say that wasn't important, but the thing was when it came down to it talking just felt good! It fit cocaine like the munchies fit weed. He kept being worried about my behavior saying I was freaking out, but the thing was I was relaxed as fuck, I felt like I was sitting on a beach just casually chatting and relaxing in the sun! We smoked continually through the night and by about 4am he went to sleep and I went to bed at 6am (that is normal for me even sober, my schedule is morning is night, afternoon is day, night is afternoon).

    We woke up at 11am and smoked again, matched blunts with his roommate, made edibles and ate those and continued our binge smoking, we smoked the rest of the afternoon and night and then I had a personal bowl the next day as it was the last of my quarter, then went home.

    In conclusion I liked cocaine WAYYY to much. It scared me how much I wanted more after only 0.5g. I have never had that big of a draw to a substance especially after only trying it once and doing such a small quantity. And the thing is that I have thought about cocaine on multiple occasions since in an "I want to do it again" manner when it used to be just something in TV, music, and movies. Add on to the fact that weed is a far more intense high and much more affordable I have decided to not buy coke again, but if I am offered it at a party I know that I'll do it.

    Tagged by Xorkoth
    Last edited by Shadowmeister; 24-09-2018 at 20:23.

  2. #2
    Bluelight Crew bptubbs's Avatar
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    Sep 2017
    Down the rabbit hole
    Not appropriate for BDD, more like a trip report. You should also add paragraphs, because very few people are going to be interested in reading a wall of text.

  3. #3
    Greenlighter Gaston_Vertueux's Avatar
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    Sep 2018
    The best part about doing cocaine is being addicted to it; ironically, it's also the worst part. From what I've found, the main side effect of snorting cocaine is the desire to snort more. Like you said, the physical buzz is relatively mild. But there's just something about the mere act of doing cocaine that is the point of the drug. You feel good when using, not necessarily in an energy-radiating-from-every-pore sorta way, but more like a sense of profound satisfaction.

    To me, it's not unlike nicotine in that regard. The first line provides both the physical and psychological effects, much like the first vape or cigarette of the day causes your whole body to tingle while the mind is massaged by a relaxing focus. At some point later, when consumed again, the buzz is less intense but still somehow rewarding or pleasurable. The longer one abstains, the more physical body high is felt. Regardless if you abstain or not, the mind is in some way equally satisfied. Likewise, cocaine consumed over the course of an evening will still be desired and rewarding long past the point when the body high is no longer felt.

    Fun activity: Not every drugs' sole use is recreation. Cocaine is also used medically as a topical analgesic. You can get a sense of the numbing properties of this drug by licking your finger, getting a little powder on your finger, and rubbing it on your gums. It doesn't take much to feel this effect. I'm sure you knew this already, as the numb face and throat you felt were a consequence of this property, but I always do it to remind myself just how powerful drugs can be.

  4. #4
    Senior Moderator
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    Shadowmeister's Avatar
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    Feb 2006
    Thanks for sharing. Yeah, coke isn't the greatest drug, although it's also true that the vast majority of coke you find these days is absolutely cut to shit. I had really good coke one time ever, I took one tiny spoon in each nostril (maybe 20mg in each side) and my whole face went numb within minutes and I had the most lovely, perfect feeling, it really surprised me. But it lasts such a short time, and it's so expensive, and yes, you really, really want to do "just a little more". To me it's not worth it and I won't ever spend money on it again.

    I added paragraphs so it would be easier to read.

  5. #5
    I don't think I've ver had good cocaine. But I've had some I enjoyed. I can't say it was ever really that moreish. I wanted it when it was there, but when it was gone I never desired more. I've never payed for it, and I don't think I ever will. Most any other drug is a better value.

  6. #6
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    madness00's Avatar
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    Aug 2018
    New England
    My very first time trying coke i got this "fish scale" shit and it was absolutely incredible. I hooked up with 3 different girls at the same party, one of which had a boy friend there. And one girl , i offered her a drink, and she declined telling me, "you're too smart for me", as if i were to manipulate her or something. I was holding conversations with everyone at the party and when i came down of my 4th or 5th bump i just abruptly left.

  7. #7
    Greenlighter HipsterUnicorn's Avatar
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    Apr 2018
    Where Life Takes Me
    Thanks for all the replies! And thank you for the formatting tips, I'll try to apply them to future posts. Also sorry I didn't reply to y'all sooner.

    Just an update:
    I haven't used cocaine since mainly due to the price and the fact that I know I'm a polyaddict waiting to happen. I get hooked on the feeling of not being sober so I have been trying to stick to weed, alcohol, and psychedelics/dissociatives.

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