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Gibberings ver. CCXVIII - Itsanewdawnitsanewdayitsanewsiteformeyeah....

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chinup said:
yes

also nuts you have daffodils coming up. i have buds on a clematis. almost as if the climate is changing and plants don't know what to do any more.
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Yeah it’s probably a lot to do with the tonsils also! They just collect so much crap!

The climate has changed completely. This was the mildest November we’ve ever had. So strange. I still have roses blooming!
 
MsDiz said:
a SAD lamp and . . a vitamin D supplement that helps a lot.
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That explains why I feel so much better when I am outside. (outdoors)

I don't even have the energy to cry my eyes out anymore.

I just sit there and pout. I don't care because nothing goes right anyway. Unless I sit there and pray.

But then there is the rest of the time when I have deal with consequences. I need to try harder. But I just keep saying tomorrow. Yes one day at a time.

But I don't even want to do anything. And when I do I can't. My Spanish lessons went right to the shitter too.

Any way it really really was too good to hear from you. Thank you so much. That meant the world to me and really DID make my day. ♡

But at the same time I am a dud. Because I am really good at it. Since my wrist is torn up and swollen and doesn't work good I haven't been myself.

It's going to take forever to get rid of this inflammation. Stay healthy ! It's the most important thing imho. These days.

Hope we all stay strong and make it to hot ass Summertime and green with blue sky again. 😁👅
 
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@Arnold not surprised. i had my first drug education in primary school. all they needed to say was these things make you feel nice and i gave zero shits about the consequences.

pretty sad for a 10 year old but the same school bollocked me every time i just walked out cos the bullying they were doing nothing about was too much for me to cope with. so they coulda like made my life less shit so i was less tempted by literally anything intoxicating.
 
Depression can feel as if you’re in a “mental prison” where you’ve gotten stuck in your thoughts. It “robs you of your confidence in yourself” and makes you increasingly less able to engage with your environment. The result is isolation, and whether it’s a perceived or actual isolation, depression is a lonely condition.

Word
 
hylite said:
Depression can feel as if you’re in a “mental prison” where you’ve gotten stuck in your thoughts. It “robs you of your confidence in yourself” and makes you increasingly less able to engage with your environment. The result is isolation, and whether it’s a perceived or actual isolation, depression is a lonely condition.

Word
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I've had to solve a triple depression when I was younger the first two were relatively easy the third one took me 14 years to figure out.

The back pain is a daily thing which makes that I'm a bit more susceptable to environment changes as I've had loads of them over the past six years which I've dealt with fine it's the last few over the last 6 months where thing were reaching tipping point.

Once you've had one depression another one can happen at anytime depending upon what life chucks at you.
 
I am trying to stay calm so I won't have to get to maybe a tipping point Yet ! Thnxx.
 
Nearly killed by my nutcase neighbour last night, put the bin bags in the main bin outside & pulled the gate shut which triggered him in such a bizarre way it was comical after.

His wife kept saying "You don't know who your are messing with" & when he walked right upto my door I got the iron bar I keep close just incase & we just had a Mexican standoff for 2/3 mins then he walked off. Honestly all the drama over a gate.
 
chinup said:
@Arnold not surprised. i had my first drug education in primary school. all they needed to say was these things make you feel nice and i gave zero shits about the consequences.

pretty sad for a 10 year old but the same school bollocked me every time i just walked out cos the bullying they were doing nothing about was too much for me to cope with. so they coulda like made my life less shit so i was less tempted by literally anything intoxicating.
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You started getting high at 10?
I first began smoking black at 11 & many people think it's really early.
 
Zopiclone bandit said:
You started getting high at 10?
I first began smoking black at 11 & many people think it's really early.
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nope i got my first spliff for my 12th birthday. i'd just wanted drugs since i'd first learned about them.

made it to about late 13/14 before getting my hands on anything else and even then it took til i got a job at 15 before i could afford my own drugs. the options for fucking older guys in exchange for their drugs were too limited for me to partake regularly before i started making my own money.
 
Yeah 100% same here, I was obsessed with trying anything that gave you a high.

I've always found men who lure females into sex for dope to be some of the worst people around. The moral factor is huge plus to exploit someone who's sick is bad imho. When I was clean I'd offer the dealer a bj for a 10 bag or b, as you are doing it insert a finger up his ass covered in Naga chilli then bite his dick too.

Men who do that are sick in the mind.
 
Just been on adult worker "window shoppin" and the price is insane, also the more unique the kink more the bill.

Having sex with a stranger is weird, I'd have no issues in whipping them, throwing pie at them etc.
 
Zopiclone bandit said:
I've always found men who lure females into sex for dope to be some of the worst people around. The moral factor is huge plus to exploit someone who's sick is bad imho. When I was clean I'd offer the dealer a bj for a 10 bag or b, as you are doing it insert a finger up his ass covered in Naga chilli then bite his dick too.
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i feel ashamed to admit this, you all know i exploited myself for drugs so that aint no thing, but there's a BLer who i used to buy benzos from (i knew him irl it wasn't sourcing via BL mods don't murder me!!) and i would wait til he was sick off dark cos he'd drop his prices 50%.

of course the bill is higher when you're doing worse shit. that's how i made bank. just not caring what i did. i was grateful to the people who did such utterly sick shit against my will at that point cos it made me able to sell those 'services' for a lot of money, was already numb to it.

but yeah, people who use dope to control women are the worst. to this day there's only one person who i have fantasies about murdering (the guy i was grateful to in the above). and he did that. i'd never have done any of that shit if he hadn't known where i lived and intimidated me. and all i was worth to him was 2 shots of dark. i hope he gets tortured to death.
 
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