Benzos a question for the advanced benzo users

[Landingtheplane]

My incident was caused from an auto accident. The baby I was carrying and died crushing my bowel with the seat belt. That caused the pain and constant flushing. I lost so much weight I was passing out and was in the ER for fluids about a dozen times. Donatol is also very addictive but works so much better than clonopin. It is a combo of medications including an anti seizure. I weaned off that and just watch what I eat. I don’t have a big diet but I am also considered an “obese” BMI. The loss of weight isn’t an issue anymore. Now I can’t get the weight off. I continue to have IBS and just use a heating pad and watch my food. Ginger tea helps. Avoid soda. Of any kind. Watch sugar intake. Stringy veggies. Red meat. Like I said 20 years of this it’s improved but I doubt it will ever get better. If you and your doctor are ok with benzodiazepines it’s your choice. The way the world is going I don’t want to be on these and not be able to get them.

 

[Cream Gravy?]

I'm really sorry to hear that

The way the world is going I don’t want to be on these and not be able to get them.

I understand. I'm not scared (to a degree) because I'd rather die (and would) than lose another 30lbs. I'm in the 5% bracket for BMI and I was starting to look like a holocaust survivor before I got on alprazolam. I can't afford to watch what I eat, because if I don't get enough food in me, I continue to lose weight. In fact it was me regaining weight that prompted my doctor to up my dosage (so that I could eat more).

So yeah if they cut me off from alpraz without a suitable replacement, I'd die of either starvation or suicide, likely the latter because I really don't want to die slowly over two weeks.

If you can get along without benzos and prefer that, more power to you. I was just curious because in my position I can't imagine life without alprazolam some part of me had hoped you'd found the 'secret' to escaping IBS pain but it sounds more like you've accepted the pain level you're at instead of opting to continue on your medication.

 

[TheSacredTree]

I’ve been prescribed benzos (at times even combinations of multiple benzos) for a bit over 10 years now. Got my first script to Clonazepam when I was 15.

There are definitely periods of my life I couldn’t tell you a single detail about. They’ve been erased from my memory. Certain people I’ve been close to as well, blocks of experiences entirely erased from my memory.

But overall, I’d still say I’m in a much better place now with the benzos than I would’ve been had I never got prescribed simply because of how extreme my anxiety used to be.

Would much rather have known someone and lost the memory of it entirely than face the other reality of having never met them at all cause my anxiety wouldn’t let me get comfortable around them in the first place.

But yeah, coming off them is not going to be fun if I ever end up needing to.

 

[smokeymcpot42089]

just like any other drug; tolerance builds and you find yourself taking it to feel normal. Your on benzos for 10 years maybe 6 months your gunna feel the dose and the rest you feel the same as always, if you don't have them....than you will feel it.

 

[Landingtheplane]

I'm really sorry to hear that

I understand. I'm not scared (to a degree) because I'd rather die (and would) than lose another 30lbs. I'm in the 5% bracket for BMI and I was starting to look like a holocaust survivor before I got on alprazolam. I can't afford to watch what I eat, because if I don't get enough food in me, I continue to lose weight. In fact it was me regaining weight that prompted my doctor to up my dosage (so that I could eat more).

So yeah if they cut me off from alpraz without a suitable replacement, I'd die of either starvation or suicide, likely the latter because I really don't want to die slowly over two weeks.

If you can get along without benzos and prefer that, more power to you. I was just curious because in my position I can't imagine life without alprazolam some part of me had hoped you'd found the 'secret' to escaping IBS pain but it sounds more like you've accepted the pain level you're at instead of opting to continue on your medication.

Well, you were right. Tried to come off them multiple times. Was always told I was just going through withdrawal.

This time they tapered me so slowly they found it wasn’t withdrawal it was my GI symptoms making me sick again.

Went to another GI. Now waiting to see where this road goes.

Truly sick of it.

 

[Jen X]

just like any other drug; tolerance builds and you find yourself taking it to feel normal. Your on benzos for 10 years maybe 6 months your gunna feel the dose and the rest you feel the same as always, if you don't have them....than you will feel it.

Tolerance doesn't always build. I'm on a lower dose then what I was 10 years ago.
Antidepressants are hard to come off as well. So is Lyrica so I don't see why people are so anti benzos. If a person gets no relief from anything other then benzos they shouldn't be made to feel bad.

 

[Cream Gravy?]

Truly sick of it.

Me too. I got kicked off alprazolam because I moved cities, and my old doctor retired anyhow. Now I've seen three doctors over three or so months and they're all passing the buck, and I don't know if I'll ever get proper treatment again. I'm too young, I don't wana starve.

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

man, i love the original post.
lots of questions and not enough time to hash them all out.
heavy benzo use will have a mf in jail eventuall for (as stated) doing stupid shit.
as for the amnesia... yeah, decades have been lost but i find that after not using the last couple years (cept for dabbling once) the memories are returning and some are so painful that i wanna go back to good ol doc and get a script sometimes. getting off after decades of use was a bitch. i knew nothing of tapering and literally lost my fuckin mind for about a month and more as after the initial month of pure hell it would abate for a while and all of a sudden out of nowhere i would bug the fuck out. this eent on for a few more months... not sure how long as once in a while i still get it to a lesser degree.
so many warnings to give. time is not on my side atm.
not having anxiety is the nuts, though. talk about getting shit DONE. not a worry in the world until ya have to face everything ignored. alway a flipside.
there is a price to pay for any easement, imo/e. there is no exceptions. the "higher" one gets the harder the landing when it all cycles. it will come a time as there are hills and vallies. the closer one can get to a flat-line the more balanced but nature dictates these ups and downs regardless... in all.
im ma read over this thread and undoubtedly return with more gibberings; stay tuned. lol
gotta bounce for a bit.
best wishes for now, yeah?
peace

 

[The Invertebrate]

Been on Valium for sixteen years can't say that I notice aything but maybe

 

[Just a little pinprick]

i just wanna hear stories from people who have done benzos regularly for 5-10+ years but even any daily prolonged use is good too but just what the hell does it feel to live 24/7 under a heavy heavy super strong hypnotic drug where even a tiny crumb can make anyone black out and lose control for days. i know you build up a tolerance but ive smoked weed non stop for 10 years straight and still cant even begin to wrap my head around living under the influence of benzos as your entire life. i would at least need some weed to make sure im not doing something stupid and kill off the benzos a little bit.

ive done benzos casually and didnt realize how strong they really are because i was always mixing it with alcohol to give an extra kick and i thought if i took a small small amount of benzos but drank beer or i would be able to control my dosage easier/safer but yeah i was already a drug addicted alcoholic idiot so that never worked.

it freaked me the fuck out the first time i took 1mg and i blacked out and was just a totally different person and didnt remember it and slept for 12 hours straight. even just taking the smallest dosages of xanax i can see what its doing to me and i still feel the effect for DAYS after. its amazing for my anxiety but my anxiety is so bad but im afraid of benzos i dont think ill ever be able to take a full bar in 7 years of doing them ive never taken anything bigger than 1.5mg at once but i have redosed over time getting higher doses.

i have to fuck know what it feels like to just live as an alternate version of yourself where you have no fear and just permanently grounded in reality but have no fear of it. is the tolerance really so strong that you taking 4mg is me like .25mg? have you had daily amnesia for years or is it just totally gone? i think about doing it all the time but i never do it. how do you not do stupid shit? how do you do benzos for 10 years and not get arrested?

the "auto pilot" just scares me too much

I took Xanax for a several months before switching to Valium and dosing 10 mg 4x a day for a couple years, I don’t drink so there was no blackouts or anything like that it simply kept my anxiety in check and I believe I switched to Valium because of reading it helps reduce the risk of seizures from high dose daily tramadol use.

Be prepared for a long rough time coming off them though, taper or not.