Positive The Tapering Support Thread v 2.0

[Jerry Atrick]

This is a social/support thread for those who may be tapering. It is meant to be a thread where we can share our experiences in a safe place. Whether you are getting ready to begin the tapering process or if you've been there before and wish to offer your valuable perspective.... Welcome!

As always, please make sure we are posting per the BLUA - Bluelight User Agreement as well as The Dark Side - Forum Guidelines at all times.

This thread is a continuation of the Tapering Supportive/Social Thread:

Positive - The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

Hi Mods, I noticed we have a few of us discussing our tapering attempts off of our drugs in the past few days. I do so much better when I have the support of someone else going through the same thing at the same time. Do you think a tapering thread would be helpful? Also, would you recommend...

bluelight.org

 

[Squeaky]

Welcome to the new thread. It’s all about helping others by sharing the day to day struggles of tapering off our drugs of choice, mainly opiates.

If you’re finding this for the first time, it might be helpful to go read the previous thread (closed by the mods because it was enormous). It was about 7 years of a few of us documenting our best and worst experiences. TONS of good information on what to do, and probably more info on what NOT to do. Pills, heroin, etc.

 

[Squeaky]

I got the reminder text yesterday. My refill comes in 3 days. Last month I was down to 4 Percocet’s per day. I’ll probably try to stay at that level. I actually have a friend in need, and that was my original plan for going back to perc’s from oxy 30’s. Too bad I haven’t stockpiled any like I planned.

Maybe this will be the month I give away the whole bottle, but probably not.

 

[papercuts]

I'm waiting until tomorrow before ordering so the date says March. I can get away with two scripts in March, but not in February, lol.
Just incase anyone glances over how often my four-weekly refill gets refilled.

 

[papercuts]

I'm thinking of tackling the green habit by switching to edibles, then the habit of vaping is broken and I might be able to go a night without vaping at all and eventually take a break from that too.
It's nothing serious, still illegal here but noone cares and it helps relax me. I'm just unable to take a break and that's annoying.
As usual I want control over my habits. It's the only thing I've done in the last 48 hours that I'd hide from my doctor, that is progress.

 

[Squeaky]

I'm thinking of tackling the green habit by switching to edibles, then the habit of vaping is broken and I might be able to go a night without vaping at all and eventually take a break from that too.
It's nothing serious, still illegal here but noone cares and it helps relax me. I'm just unable to take a break and that's annoying.
As usual I want control over my habits. It's the only thing I've done in the last 48 hours that I'd hide from my doctor, that is progress.

That’s a good plan. 1/2 of the addiction is the drug, but the other 1/2 is just the habit of lighting the joint. Maybe killing the second 1/2 will get you far enough that you can quit the whole thing

 

[papercuts]

That’s a good plan. 1/2 of the addiction is the drug, but the other 1/2 is just the habit of lighting the joint. Maybe killing the second 1/2 will get you far enough that you can quit the whole thing

I get big ideas, then fall flat on my face, like this week.
If I've any sense at all, I'll call a halt to this relapse before it goes on too many more days.
I know it's a choice and the choice is mine.
Squeaky do you get withdrawals after you finish your pills each month or do they run out too quick to get a tolerance?

 

[Squeaky]

I get big ideas, then fall flat on my face, like this week.
If I've any sense at all, I'll call a halt to this relapse before it goes on too many more days.
I know it's a choice and the choice is mine.
Squeaky do you get withdrawals after you finish your pills each month or do they run out too quick to get a tolerance?

I get mostly psychological wd’s. I only have about 5 days of my perc’s. I did figure out that I’m actually having wd’s from the Tylenol too. If I take a gram of regular Tylenol after I run out, I hate life a little less. But mostly, I just get used to the pills and I get depressed when they’re gone. My tolerance starts out each month super high. I take 10 perc’s and feel nothing but normal. Yesterday I took 16 in two hours and I just felt no wd’s, very little pain relief and zero high.

It does take me about 2 weeks to feel ‘normal’ after even just 5 days of 20-30 Percocet’s per day. The constipation from the heavy oxy use has become my way of measuring the wd’s. And that takes a solid 10-14 days before that returns to normal.

My guess is that if I was using them as an average person would (i.e. 3 or 4 per day), it would be roughly 2 days of not feeling right for each day of use.

 

[Squeaky]

Every month I play the same game in my head:

About a week or 5 days before my refill, I say to myself that I don’t need the pills. I’m doing good enough with only Kratom and weed. I’ll save the pills for an emergency, or to help someone else in need.

The day before my refill, I plan out how I’m going to only use them to help me relax. Maybe I’ll only use them on the weekends. I do some math..... 4 pills per day= 28 per week.... divided by 2 means I can have 14 per day on Saturday and Sunday if I stick to Kratom and weed during the week. That way I won’t run out.

The morning of my refill I’m promising myself that I won’t use them because I am convinced that my weekends-only plan is solid.

But on my way to the pharmacy....... my plans change by the minute. By the time I get my full bottle of pills, I’m saying “Just once and then I’ll stick to the weekends-only plan. By that night I’m saying “Just one day. Tomorrow I’ll stick to the plan”. By the next morning I’m saying “Well, a day is actually 24 hours. SO, I’ll take some more but I’ll stop after lunch.”

3 days later I’m running out. I say I’ll taper off over the next few days but I don’t taper at all. By day 5 I’m almost out of pills and I say “Well.... if it’s going to suck anyway.... I might as well enjoy one last good day” and I use all of the last of my pills. I say I’ll be tough and it won’t suck too bad tomorrow if I just focus on work.

But that first day back to work is a bitch!! It takes me about 2 weeks to get back to feeling normal-ish (only having weed and Kratom). I see all of my mistakes very clearly and try to make plans again for the following month to not run out. I fail every time.

I can’t let go if that prescription. I’m addicted for sure, but also in legitimate pain. I know that I’m going to have to quit someday, but today is not that day. And tomorrow doesn’t look good either.

 

[Squeaky]

96 hours this time, and I’m out if pills.

My plan is working, even if it’s going slow. A year ago I was running out in a week or less, but that was 100 oxy 30’s. This time it was 120 perc 10’s.

It sounds so easy... just stop. But it’s like driving past Starbucks and craving a cup of your favorite coffee. You just hit the drive through and swipe your card. It’s so easy and it feels good enough that it sounds like a good idea even though it’s probably not.

I figure I have at least another year.

One positive note: I ran into an old friend at work last week. He has needed a knee replacement for a while and the Dr prescribed pain killers. He said he doesn’t want them and I didn’t even think about asking him to give them to me. That’s progress.

 

[skeptically]

@Squeaky thats brilliant that is, its good to recognise our habits, one can use past lapses ect as weaponry,
its great to know where you are going wrong.

Personally I'm thinking of joining some self help group meetings again, they helped me stop smoking weed habitually, infact had i not been allergic to the stuff anyways I probably would be smoking a hell of alot more, when the stuff constantly blocks up your sinuses you kinda get annoyed and you could say i just ended up getting way too annoyed with that. Plus its hard to do some of my hobbies like playing didgeridoo ect when you cannot breathe and bah after 6 years of not being able to breathe through my nose and then it finally clicking, i was like aaaah this is soo much better. I do long for a smoke though, it can be the lesser of evils for alot of people, but unfortunately the stuff turned on me and I end up paranoid ect and avoiding socializing ect!
Weed withdrawals suck aswel. I know it brings out alot of my mental health side effects so essentially it is not worthwhile, i'm a happier more bouncy livelier individual who can hold a conversation without feeling awkward ect. that and not having to eat a ton of benzos just to get stoned...

next thing to tackle is the benzos (3 x 10mg diazepam daily - not scripted so essentially illegitimate use, which is causing me troubles with the system as they see that as getting off my trolly! been (ab)using benzos for 10 years! i used to be taking 50 or more every other few days, tolerance does not spring into such peoples minds)

Then the 40ml of methadone i'm on daily! luckily i don't pick it up daily and do not have an urge to dose more as thats just shooting myself in the foot when / if I ran out! Second rodeo with this shite. came off it before though so I know I can do it. just wasn't dependant on benzos at the same time.

not gunna lie as I do get opiate cravings but not like I used too, had the odd blip that leads to nowhere and is pointless! I'm blocked up by the methadone enough thanks heh.

had a breif stint of drinking alcohol at social occasions, and my god the stuff is poison, i don't mind the getting drunk part, but once drunk. POISON! I do not like my poisoned self!!

Its shit how it can take us years to figure our own selves out, finding who we are as people and loving oneself ect.
Psychedelics, mainly of the tryptamine kind (shrooms/4-aco-DMT) have played a big roll in me seeking recovery like I can admit that for sure.

 

[papercuts]

@Squeaky thats brilliant that is, its good to recognise our habits, one can use past lapses ect as weaponry,
its great to know where you are going wrong.

Personally I'm thinking of joining some self help group meetings again, they helped me stop smoking weed habitually, infact had i not been allergic to the stuff anyways I probably would be smoking a hell of alot more, when the stuff constantly blocks up your sinuses you kinda get annoyed and you could say i just ended up getting way too annoyed with that. Plus its hard to do some of my hobbies like playing didgeridoo ect when you cannot breathe and bah after 6 years of not being able to breathe through my nose and then it finally clicking, i was like aaaah this is soo much better. I do long for a smoke though, it can be the lesser of evils for alot of people, but unfortunately the stuff turned on me and I end up paranoid ect and avoiding socializing ect!
Weed withdrawals suck aswel. I know it brings out alot of my mental health side effects so essentially it is not worthwhile, i'm a happier more bouncy livelier individual who can hold a conversation without feeling awkward ect. that and not having to eat a ton of benzos just to get stoned...

next thing to tackle is the benzos (3 x 10mg diazepam daily - not scripted so essentially illegitimate use, which is causing me troubles with the system as they see that as getting off my trolly! been (ab)using benzos for 10 years! i used to be taking 50 or more every other few days, tolerance does not spring into such peoples minds)

Then the 40ml of methadone i'm on daily! luckily i don't pick it up daily and do not have an urge to dose more as thats just shooting myself in the foot when / if I ran out! Second rodeo with this shite. came off it before though so I know I can do it. just wasn't dependant on benzos at the same time.

not gunna lie as I do get opiate cravings but not like I used too, had the odd blip that leads to nowhere and is pointless! I'm blocked up by the methadone enough thanks heh.

had a breif stint of drinking alcohol at social occasions, and my god the stuff is poison, i don't mind the getting drunk part, but once drunk. POISON! I do not like my poisoned self!!

Its shit how it can take us years to figure our own selves out, finding who we are as people and loving oneself ect.
Psychedelics, mainly of the tryptamine kind (shrooms/4-aco-DMT) have played a big roll in me seeking recovery like I can admit that for sure.

The place you get the methadone from, surely they offer counselling too? Especially if they are complaining about benzos in your pee.

 

[Sidban]

Hi all. I've been on and off codeine for 10 years. I normally quit cold turkey. But I swear the withdrawal gets worse every time.

First night tonight, I've halved my dose. I'll still get symptoms but I've gotta work and get through these 3 maybe 4 days. I'm gonna half my dose 2mrw night too.

I've got benzos, immodium, parametmol, and some sleeping pills.

I'll post my rapid withdrawal experience as I go. My wife knows this time. So I've got her support.

I know codeine is weaker than most opiates but it still fills me with FEAR.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Peace

 

[skeptically]

The place you get the methadone from, surely they offer counselling too? Especially if they are complaining about benzos in your pee.

Yeah they kinda do, kinda don't. It's a community self help kinda groups that's ran. I know there is an NA meeting tonight I may try again, but still not sure about that! Tried it a few times and it does feel like half of it is dogma. Mind I've tripped and meditated on a few of the steps, low and behold I've done and been through half of them anyways. Just ain't wrote them down! Where I am it's hard to get a sponsor if your not 100% clean, and that's methadone included!

My key worker at the methadone place is always off sick, like ALWAYS! A couple of ppl who were standing in for her where going to offer me a fast track to a proper CPN psychiatrist, but nothing has came from that.

They are very over worked.
I do have at my disposal, about 800mg of diclazepam, and have a good 100 odd mg of it in PG solution, I'm not sure of its purity though, I've held myself on the stuff in the past without a problem, but this time trying to switch over to taper was a fail. Getting cramp in he tendons of my feet and calves ect twitches.. I guess my body has became so used to the Diaz over the last decade.
Mind last time I switched I wasn't taking Benzos daily, still had a dependance, but would take a 'get wrecked dose' weekly,
Which obvs hung about for a long time with half lives ect.

I hope you are all doing well

@Sidban you got this dude. Have you considered some exercise like yoga? It did wonders for my nerve pain and my health in general, you go light and easy to start with, maybe seek a local class? Sending positive vibes your way

 

[Sidban]

@skeptically thank you

 

[Sidban]

I do Brazilian jujitsu. But might wait until I'm feeling a bit better lol

 

[Sidban]

I'm at work just now and got chills and my bowels overcame the immodium. That's where I'm at.

Tapering down to half dose tonight then nada

 

[Squeaky]

Hi all. I've been on and off codeine for 10 years. I normally quit cold turkey. But I swear the withdrawal gets worse every time.

First night tonight, I've halved my dose. I'll still get symptoms but I've gotta work and get through these 3 maybe 4 days. I'm gonna half my dose 2mrw night too.

I've got benzos, immodium, parametmol, and some sleeping pills.

I'll post my rapid withdrawal experience as I go. My wife knows this time. So I've got her support.

I know codeine is weaker than most opiates but it still fills me with FEAR.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Peace

Having support from your wife is HUGE! That’s a very important first step.

The only advice I have is make absolutely certain you have something for sleep. Benzos, weed, etc. The days suck in wd but nights without sleep will make it 100x worse.

 

[Squeaky]

Im starting a rock band. It’s all a bunch of recovering opiate addicts.

It’s called “Wicked Constipation”

 

[papercuts]

Hi all. I've been on and off codeine for 10 years. I normally quit cold turkey. But I swear the withdrawal gets worse every time.

First night tonight, I've halved my dose. I'll still get symptoms but I've gotta work and get through these 3 maybe 4 days. I'm gonna half my dose 2mrw night too.

I've got benzos, immodium, parametmol, and some sleeping pills.

I'll post my rapid withdrawal experience as I go. My wife knows this time. So I've got her support.

I know codeine is weaker than most opiates but it still fills me with FEAR.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Peace

Hi Sidban, What strength of codeine? Can you buy anything similar OTC that you can taper slower and not shit yourself in work?
Codeine's still an opiate, my DOC isn't seen as too bad either but they are all a bugger to quit whatever the hype or lack of it that surrounds each one.
If you can get Kratom where you are, I swear that was what made this time successful for me. Also if you've access, gabapentin or pregablin can help against that feeling that the world is ending and you're already in hell. You already mentioned fear, hope I'm not too insensitive saying that.
I've over two months of close to abstenance and I'm incredibly pleased with myself, too much really, overconfidence trips me up. I've spent more on Kratom than I was spending on poppy pods or opium but I feel much cleaner and I'm fairly sure I could step on a airplane and go anywhere for however long and I won't go into withdrawal because I'm leaving five days clean between using my DOC.
It's probably much easier for me because I get buprenorphine pain patches prescribed to me and while it's not easy to cut down to the amount in a patch, it's easier than aiming for zero. This is my longest time ever, I find this site helps.
You've the right attitude. Telling my husband I was addicted and trying to quit was the first sign (in hindsight) that I really meant to quit this time. After that it was a mere six months of on/off attempting to get clean, but now, no sweat, literally