I hope you have a very large supply, Autotripper... 25mg of etizolam a day is a VERY large dose... I use etizolam pretty regularly and have for quite a few years now, and I rarely take more than 1mg. If you had to withdraw suddenly from 25mg, it would be life threatening. I know you know this stuff, but I care about you and worry about you. Do you have a plan? Is the plan to stay on etizolam indefinitely? It seems like it can't be found anymore. if I were you, I would try to taper down and greatly reduce my dosage. You can get the same relief with FAR less if you work to get your tolerance down. Not only would your supply last much longer, but if something happened and you found yourself without any benzos, it would be a far less dangerous situation.
Hi, thanks. I understand all of this.
It's a real dice roll. I have maybe 2.8 grams left.
From the all round position I am in currently I would really need to begin a proactive tapering regimen already with support in place and stressors under control.
My plan goal and hopes were to reach a town walkin support and advice service team of doctors and nurses specialising in addiction.
Ages ago.
Covid severely messed me and everything up though.
The haemorrhoids went on much much longer than I ever anticipated and beyond my physical and mental capacity for insurance it was an inhuman feat to reach this stage.
Then numerous recent fresh contractions, making it 4 seperate confirmed but possibly/likely 5 or 6, every time immediate entrance into my Nervous System causing untold direct nerve damage like I've never known and totally blowing my ability to manage stress anxiety and nerve sensitisation.
It recently flipped me into a technical state of insanity, a combo of the newer Brazilan variant plus the original, which was still present but not overly rampant in my NS, now mightily rampant again, the Brazilian one being systemic but in nerves too, totally knocked out every level of my NS in a way nothing has before.
Nothing has come near to impacting me personally like Covid now.
Managing the nerve damage and indescribable anxiety is impossible. Hence etz through roof.
Enduring the extreme long lasting also covid caused haemorrhoids just exhauall my energy, then the new Covids have crashed the house down heavily.
My body suddenly entered a degenerative state. It's all been too much, physically mentally emotionally.
I have only showered once in 8 days, too weak, no motivation, can't bear reality sight sound or consciousness.
The plan was to make enough progress to get sufficiently stabilised and energised to access the necessary treatment and support and make the life changes in time to start tapering before my supply got to low.
It's gone past that point now which is why I would need to procure at least 4 g of Bormazolam to taper into 2023.
atm I will be out in months.
Last weeks, 3 new viruses, almost surely a Covid or two. Crashing my NS right down every time.
I had begun a full course of homeopathy after a very precise diagnosis of everything constitutionally weeks ago. But with the subsequent infections and so much household stress here as my mum also has been very unwell with the long Covid infections and she has lost the plot and related to me just her own experience and my nerves are already massively over sensitised towards her with nothing to look forward to in life anymore being so debilitated from this bioweapon.
No focus, no comfort rest or energy for so long.
I can't even tolerate 13 µg of LSD anymore because of the nerve damage any dose of LSD is physically excruciating and mentally intolerable.
I was using insane quantities of kava to manage unbearable haemorrhoids pain and discomfort and distress for months on end and still well above average and barely making do.
I've really hit rock rock bottom presently.
I did still have plans to recover from this using the resources and treatments at hand but I did not account for so many fresh infections knocking me off the perch each time after I had genuinely begun to pick up by a degree.
Those plans have been completely scuppered now and I have no focus or plan except really to seek some sort of bearable comfortable death because there are so many situations too many where life has been genuinely insufferable and torturous unable to breathe stomach bowel discomfort and blockage extreme unable to sleep nerve damage extreme too, inability to tolerate consciousness sound and the environment around me.
This is directly the result of the Covid infections in my nervous system and the damage they have done as well as the brutal long-running haemorrhoids and sleep deprivation 23 hours maximum per night and never without needing the toilet to the point where I'm not even asleep dreading being forced to wake again to burning fire pain every time no matter what and how I try and go about simple living.
I realise this sounds very extreme but I have lost the plot and I just cannot help it the nerve damage makes everything is grating and unbearable as I imagine a bad trip on 10 mg's Acid to be.
Really I need to secure the most comfortable death I can because I do not want to be in those situations where I'm suffocating to death with painful intestines and haemorrhoids and unbearable anxiety from nerve damage.
I may have missed the opportunity but my thinking is as extreme and terminal as has ever been currently.
I may just use my remaining supply of powder to sedate myself.
I totally understand why you resorted to so much etizolam. I sincerely hope that your system clears up, and from there you can get some medical assistance for a long, slow taper. I think once you are getting towards the end of your supply, you need to get on librium or some other very long lasting benzo, and do a taper.
