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Who speaks german here?

December Flower said:
Schattenparker
Warmduscher
Beckenrandschwimmer
Turnbeutelvergesser
0190-Nummern-Telefonierer
Abdeckstiftbenutzer
Feinrippunterhosenbügler
Niederdrehzahlfahrer
Schneekettenaufzieher
Schweiztanker
Orgasmusansager
Minusstundenausgleicher
Miezekatzeaufdemschoßstreichler
Bleistiftanspitzer
Frauenarztmitgeher
Butterbroteinwickler
Lochverstärkungsringbenutzer
Skiliftplanbenutzer
Click to expand...

Don’t forget the dünnbrettbohrer.
 
So after high school we had this party with some good friends and this German girl who went to our school for senior year and one of my best friends is German and told me to go up to our crush and say this to her, “Sag Bescheid, wenn du betrunken genug zum Ficken bist” and so I did.. and he didn’t think it was going to work but she replied with. “mein oder dein Platz” and since I didn’t know what that meant I just went along with her hand gestures and pointed to myself.

So basically I guess I asked her or in this case TOLD her “Let me know when you’re drunk enough to fuck” and she had replied back saying , “my place or yours” and my buddy was pissed because I went home with her and had a fucked the shit out of her. But he would have the last laugh because she turned out to be a stage 5 clinger and rather a dangerous stalker. I ended up having to get a restraining order and warned my best friend not to go near her.

He didn’t listen and now they are married with two kids and he’s in a wheelchair because he “accidentally fell down the stairs and broke his legs” but none of us believe that story and we don’t talk to him or his lovely wife because the rest of my friends don’t trust her neither and for good reason because of what I had to deal with. But I got off easy thank God.

Moral of the story.. don’t listen to your friends and the sex was good but not worth dealing with that psycho.. well.. yeah no she was just average but she loved sucking my keilbasa dry and it was really touching how she loved going down on me every second. I didn’t ask for that or beg and sometimes it’s nice if we don’t have to ask but I just thought it was sweet that she made a new friend haha till her skitzo side kicked in then that bitch had to go 🤣🤣🤣
 
izo said:
German is a funny language. If you take the word for cup (the one you win in a competition) eg, it’s called pokal, this word could also mean bald butt. We have some of these multiple meaning words.
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Wo zum Teufel sagt man 'Pokal' zu einem nackten Arsch??
 
AutoTripper said:
Yes but, to post two above- even if English did "come" from German, German still has it's roots in ancient Latin which served as the foundation for the individual modern languages.
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Nope ; wrong. Vulgar Latin is the foundation ONLY of the Romance languages (Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Romanian, French). English and German are both Germanic languages which have their roots in the now extinct Gothic. ALL of these are however part of the Indo-European category.

PS am a pedantic linguist. Xd
 
FallenOne86 said:
So after high school we had this party with some good friends and this German girl who went to our school for senior year and one of my best friends is German and told me to go up to our crush and say this to her, “Sag Bescheid, wenn du betrunken genug zum Ficken bist” and so I did.. and he didn’t think it was going to work but she replied with. “mein oder dein Platz” and since I didn’t know what that meant I just went along with her hand gestures and pointed to myself.

So basically I guess I asked her or in this case TOLD her “Let me know when you’re drunk enough to fuck” and she had replied back saying , “my place or yours” and my buddy was pissed because I went home with her and had a fucked the shit out of her. But he would have the last laugh because she turned out to be a stage 5 clinger and rather a dangerous stalker. I ended up having to get a restraining order and warned my best friend not to go near her.

He didn’t listen and now they are married with two kids and he’s in a wheelchair because he “accidentally fell down the stairs and broke his legs” but none of us believe that story and we don’t talk to him or his lovely wife because the rest of my friends don’t trust her neither and for good reason because of what I had to deal with. But I got off easy thank God.

Moral of the story.. don’t listen to your friends and the sex was good but not worth dealing with that psycho.. well.. yeah no she was just average but she loved sucking my keilbasa dry and it was really touching how she loved going down on me every second. I didn’t ask for that or beg and sometimes it’s nice if we don’t have to ask but I just thought it was sweet that she made a new friend haha till her skitzo side kicked in then that bitch had to go 🤣🤣🤣
Click to expand...
see the way I decipher that your story is bullshit is that no one, ever, in the history of Germans would refer to their place as "Platz"
This is a common translating error, English translators will identify "place" as "Platz", and while that is true, it is only true for specific locations, however not for your home. So "mein Platz" or "dein Platz" - 100% unidiomatic. "zu mir oder zu dir (nach Hause)?" would be the question. Otherwise you translate "my place" to "mein Zuhause"(or "mein Heim/Daheim/Eigenheim, w.e, not Platz. Platz is like Trafalgar Square. That's a Platz. Or a market place), not "mein Platz" that sounds like straight out of google translate and no German ever would say "mein Platz" as "my place", because the word is not as broad in German.

Also how do you know how to spell all this shit if it was only told to you? Including capitalizations.(including a capitalization rule many Germans don't make because they don't understand the verb has turned into a noun by sentence structure @ Ficken)
Nope. Weird that you included a moral to the story. I don't find lying about Germans very moral.

Mein Platz
1200px-Saint_Peter%27s_Square_from_the_dome_v2.jpg

oder dein Platz?
platz.jpg

that's how it sounds to a German
The UltimateFixx said:
Wo zum Teufel sagt man 'Pokal' zu einem nackten Arsch??
Click to expand...
I get it, like you can say "bowling ball" to a bald head.
German dialects are weird
 
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izo said:
Could you give an example?
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I can ask when he gets home.

I'll ask him to read things in German some times but he can only pick out what some words are & says that they spell them or say them different in the colony he comes from. When he talks to his family back in the colony he seems to be able to speak fluent "German", or whatever type of "German" this is.

I've heard of Pennsylvanian Dutch, but I don't think this is that. It's whatever German they use in Hutterite colonies.
 
December Flower said:
see the way I decipher that your story is bullshit is that no one, ever, in the history of Germans would refer to their place as "Platz"
This is a common translating error, English translators will identify "place" as "Platz", and while that is true, it is only true for specific locations, however not for your home. So "mein Platz" or "dein Platz" - 100% unidiomatic. "zu mir oder zu dir (nach Hause)?" would be the question. Otherwise you translate "my place" to "mein Zuhause"(or "mein Heim/Daheim/Eigenheim, w.e, not Platz. Platz is like Trafalgar Square. That's a Platz. Or a market place), not "mein Platz" that sounds like straight out of google translate and no German ever would say "mein Platz" as "my place", because the word is not as broad in German.

Also how do you know how to spell all this shit if it was only told to you? Including capitalizations.(including a capitalization rule many Germans don't make because they don't understand the verb has turned into a noun by sentence structure @ Ficken)
Nope. Weird that you included a moral to the story. I don't find lying about Germans very moral.

Mein Platz
1200px-Saint_Peter%27s_Square_from_the_dome_v2.jpg

oder dein Platz?
platz.jpg

that's how it sounds to a German

I get it, like you can say "bowling ball" to a bald head.
German dialects are weird
Click to expand...
So sensitive! But no I’m not making anything up. But moving along
 
izo said:
are there native speakers or people that speak a bit of german here?
Click to expand...
I can speak a bit German, of sorts! My dad was stationed in Munchengladback for 8 years as British Army of the Rhine. I say "of a sort" as my dad had his own version of certain words, that sounded a bit too close to his Geordie accent. Although he drummed into me (he was a sergeant, so drumming info into people was his forte!) a very valuable phrase, "Ich bein sehr crank, wo is der krankhaus?" (forgive poor, phonetic spelling. I said I could speak a bit, writing it is something alltogether different!)
 
fastandbulbous said:
I can speak a bit German, of sorts! My dad was stationed in Munchengladback for 8 years as British Army of the Rhine. I say "of a sort" as my dad had his own version of certain words, that sounded a bit too close to his Geordie accent. Although he drummed into me (he was a sergeant, so drumming info into people was his forte!) a very valuable phrase, "Ich bein sehr crank, wo is der krankhaus?" (forgive poor, phonetic spelling. I said I could speak a bit, writing it is something alltogether different!)
Click to expand...
*Mönchengladbach, has nothing to do with München

*Das Haus => Das Krankenhaus, multicomposita always look at the last word in the composition and gender the word accordingly. Der Kranke, but Das Haus, so "das" wins

sorry, not sorry, german.
 
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FallenOne86 said:
So sensitive! But no I’m not making anything up. But moving along
Click to expand...
i'm not sensitive.

also? mein Platz oder dein Platz?

it's so ridiculous how un-idiomatic that sounds.
That's up there with "I had sex in her" or "how do you doing?"

 
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December Flower said:
i'm not sensitive.

also? mein Platz oder dein Platz?

it's so ridiculous how un-idiomatic that sounds.
That's up there with "I had sex in her" or "how do you doing?"

Click to expand...

Ich habe nur versucht, mit der Geschichte lustig zu sein, das ist alles
 
Well,I was lived in Germany for a couple of months.Nieder Saxen province.And that was early 90 -ies.Oikumenishes begegnung centrum.Still remember the"sehnsuch"-written on the wall:
"Leben-einzeln und frei wie and baum.Und bruderlich wie ein wald.Das ist unsere sehnsucht".....and was able to speak enough for questioning and understand basic things... but it's was long time ago.....and i forgot almost everything.Just no people around me to shprechen die deutch.Movin' all around the country to work.Bavaria likes me the most,cause of the nature.(the language there sounds me a little bit different,more "hard",closer to that spoken in Austria)
 
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