Not always, my friend. Sometimes things break during the fall.i
it changes ! it does ! you gotta fight through it!
then you will know. you can.
we all fall down. getting back up again makes us grow stronger.
it' up to you 2 get back up.Not always, my friend. Sometimes things break during the fall.
No truer words have ever been spoken!!I sincerely hope all trying to clean up succeed. If your young>40, still a lot of time to enjoy. The very fact that you're considering means it isn't working. Gets no better.
Peace
haven't done anything but alcohol/cannabis in a while... haven't shot anything .... reasons to live (aside from drugs like sex, love, friendships, cool stuff in real life) are dwindling and am becoming increasingly dejected feeling@Hylight, @Captain.Heroin, @chinup , @Iceman1216, @Rio Fantastic, @DeadManWalkin', @wudbutcher, @SnafuInTheVoid, @nznity and to anybody else trying to clean up and better your life. I hope I didn't forget anybody. It has been a while since I checked in and there are so many new postors and it is very comforting to come back and see the same familiar posters. I hope everyone in the SLR community is doing well. Love you guys.
Captain, the last two weeks have been a crazy ride for me, i was starting to lose my mind for real. I bought and prolly 35-40 grams of blow and smoke it all, As you may know I quit banging morphine BUT replaced it with that shit. As it's mad cheap and good quality in my country, it wasn't taking a toll on me atfirst /Financially, but last couple months my usage has grown exponencially, i seriously couldn't go more than 2 days without buying more coke and cooking it up. two weeks ago i smoked 7 grams on a day. It wasn't even getting me high, just anxious, edgy and delusional. So on friday i bought 3 FIRE wraps and smoked em throughout the day. I said goodbye to it and threw away all my works ( my spoon, like 30 empty 1g wraps i had and the last 5g of baking soda i had) Until yesterday I was kinda craving the shit but today I'm starting to feel more normal.haven't done anything but alcohol/cannabis in a while... haven't shot anything .... reasons to live (aside from drugs like sex, love, friendships, cool stuff in real life) are dwindling and am becoming increasingly dejected feeling
i will be alright I think
how are you doing?
yes, being distraught over real life events though and some of it is not going to get better (grieving over multiple losses; my grief may lessen but there's no bringing back the dead...) and being in a rut in at least 2 different ways in life. Not connected/centering drugs. I am afraid I am losing the grasp I had on leading the life I wanted and am slipping into a shitty complacency with extant reality. PTSD, anxiety depression are real for me so I try to work on that but there's probably no doctors and no help - I have been trying and will continue to; have some ideas on what I can try next (going back on bzd's as it is really needed right now; been putting off too long).Captain, the last two weeks have been a crazy ride for me, i was starting to lose my mind for real. I bought and prolly 35-40 grams of blow and smoke it all, As you may know I quit banging morphine BUT replaced it with that shit. As it's mad cheap and good quality in my country, it wasn't taking a toll on me atfirst /Financially, but last couple months my usage has grown exponencially, i seriously couldn't go more than 2 days without buying more coke and cooking it up. two weeks ago i smoked 7 grams on a day. It wasn't even getting me high, just anxious, edgy and delusional. So on friday i bought 3 FIRE wraps and smoked em throughout the day. I said goodbye to it and threw away all my works ( my spoon, like 30 empty 1g wraps i had and the last 5g of baking soda i had) Until yesterday I was kinda craving the shit but today I'm starting to feel more normal.I needa exercise and should quit cigarettes aswell during these times. Apart from that, I'm doing more or less good. Jobless atm but i never lose faith that better times will come
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I'm exactly on the same position as you, so many horrible memories i have from the past and Generalized Anxiety. I don't even smoke weed anymore, makes me paranoid. Only thing that is working for me now is clonazepam and justonce a day on the evenings to chill out and sleep better atnight. Having chronic back pain doesn't help either but I rather deal with it than have a needle on my arm right now. This pandemic bullshit makes me even more anxious cause of all the sad news i watch on tv plus i can't find an effin' job atm. everything's so fucked, thank god for klonopin though. Only thing that takes the edge off for a while.yes, being distraught over real life events though and some of it is not going to get better (grieving over multiple losses; my grief may lessen but there's no bringing back the dead...) and being in a rut in at least 2 different ways in life. Not connected/centering drugs. I am afraid I am losing the grasp I had on leading the life I wanted and am slipping into a shitty complacency with extant reality. PTSD, anxiety depression are real for me so I try to work on that but there's probably no doctors and no help - I have been trying and will continue to; have some ideas on what I can try next (going back on bzd's as it is really needed right now; been putting off too long).
I PM'd you with a list of stuff I don't like talking about on the forums that are getting me down.I'm exactly on the same position as you, so many horrible memories i have from the past and Generalized Anxiety. I don't even smoke weed anymore, makes me paranoid. Only thing that is working for me now is clonazepam and justonce a day on the evenings to chill out and sleep better atnight. Having chronic back pain doesn't help either but I rather deal with it than have a needle on my arm right now. This pandemic bullshit makes me even more anxious cause of all the sad news i watch on tv plus i can't find an effin' job atm. everything's so fucked, thank god for klonopin though. Only thing that takes the edge off for a while.
haven't done anything but alcohol/cannabis in a while... haven't shot anything .... reasons to live (aside from drugs like sex, love, friendships, cool stuff in real life) are dwindling and am becoming increasingly dejected feeling
i will be alright I think
how are you doing?