Recovery ⫸⫸ THE RECOVERY THREAD 2021 ⫷⫷

[Blankenstein]

Yeah. It doesn't happen that often. People have a tendency to kill themselves when it gets really frequent. Bad episodes are like half a dozen a year, but it is increasing. it will always get worse. I can deal with it at the moment. This is just a bad day. I work with people who only have bad days, so that helps. Things aren't so bad.

I am fortunate in many ways.
I appreciate your kind words.

Fucking hell… take care man. Send me a pm if you ever need to.

 

[Blankenstein]

No alcohol in 4/5 days. I go home from work for 2 weeks in less than 24 hours.

I’m determined to not use any drugs this time. Sticking with the Antabuse and going to go to meetings when home (been to a couple out here, but there aren’t many).

Things feel different this time. Hopefully I can stick with it. I’m over wasting my time on earth doing this.


How’s everybody going?

 

[Jabberwocky]

have you got anything specific planned @Blankenstein ?? it will make it easier not to use.

i'm exhausted. despite sleeping plenty. think its all this moving stress. will be properly moving me and my cats end of this week.

 

[Blankenstein]

have you got anything specific planned @Blankenstein ?? it will make it easier not to use.

i'm exhausted. despite sleeping plenty. think its all this moving stress. will be properly moving me and my cats end of this week.

Just landed and in a taxi on the way home and I’m already wavering, but instead of seeing who has what thought I’d log in here and post while the craving hopefully passes.

my plan is to go to heaps of AA/NA meetings. I’ve decided to try commit to it for a while. If it works that will be amazing, if it doesn’t I will be where I am now. So there’s nothing to lose I guess.

also going to go away for a few days and surf and fish. Won’t have access to anything where im thinking of going.

I feel you about being exhausted even when getting lots of sleep. Good luck with the final stages of the move. Thanks for your message.

 

[Jabberwocky]

@Blankenstein how are you doing? i hope you've managed not to score. there is so much more fun stuff to be doing. fuck addiction big time.

i sat with the discomfort of a full meal in my stomach last night. that might sound ridiculous but its a big thing for me to do right now.

moving into my house over the weekend. gonna tell my boyf whats up so he can be fucking annoying and follow me to the toilet if i go to purge- he has done it in the past when i hadn't even told him i was purging. but hopefully that will make it easier and i will feel less uncomfortable setting boundaries about what i feel comfortable eating and in what amount. i will have to constantly push my comfort zone otherwise it will get smaller and smaller but i need to stop purging first.

 

[Blankenstein]

Hi guyz. I'm really lonely depressed upset (no energy, ( maybe low. ) Lethargic. Melancholy. Yeah Sad. Right now.

I got hooked on pain medicine again. I don't know if I should try harder to try to find the right thread to the greatest specificity. Anyone!

I feel bad. And have no energy. Maybe that is what happens in life. Sometimes. I miss my old life. It was going so well and great.

I guess one can't feel that great forever.

I had to take a bite out of a oxycodone. A five mg. I only ate a quarter. I had to stop the shakes. I'm not sure if it was from my backache or yeah whatever I am doing.

I will be okay IF I could just get some energy which I usually can do WHEN I get to.

So yes, just trying to function and everything
even though I care when I have some energy
strength and don't want to puke from pain.

I know calcium and exercise to build up the bones.

Been eating lots of carbs too and pizza.

Sucks you feel that way. Sorry man.

what medication are you hooked on? How much are you taking?

I go through periods of feeling down, lonely, depressed, no energy etc as well.

I find exercise and getting out in nature really beneficial.

do you live near a swimming pool or the ocean? If you have back pain swimming can be beneficial for that stuff as well. Good for the body and good for the soul.

Do you have anyone you can call and meet up with for a coffee or walk or something?
pizza sounds like a great idea!

 

[Blankenstein]

@Blankenstein how are you doing? i hope you've managed not to score. there is so much more fun stuff to be doing. fuck addiction big time.

i sat with the discomfort of a full meal in my stomach last night. that might sound ridiculous but its a big thing for me to do right now.

moving into my house over the weekend. gonna tell my boyf whats up so he can be fucking annoying and follow me to the toilet if i go to purge- he has done it in the past when i hadn't even told him i was purging. but hopefully that will make it easier and i will feel less uncomfortable setting boundaries about what i feel comfortable eating and in what amount. i will have to constantly push my comfort zone otherwise it will get smaller and smaller but i need to stop purging first.

That’s great that your boyfriend looks out for you with that sort of stuff. Sounds like he really cares about you.

great work on not purging!

I totally feel you about pushing outside of your comfort zone. That’s something I’ve been thinking a bit about lately. I think a lot of my drug use is me trying to bury my head in the sand and not deal with emotions, stressful situations and basically life. So yeh I’m trying to sit with the uncomfortable feelings and trying to sort my shit and grow as a person.

Had a family meeting with my dads medical team yesterday and we talked about how when he is discharged he will have to live in a nursing home. That’s an example of something I wanted to get fucked up to not have to deal with as it’s a pretty hard discussion for all involved.

i didn’t use any drugs though and I’m very glad I didn’t. I was able to be present in the moment and offer my opinion and be there for my family. My mother was very appreciate of the support.

so yeh I didn’t use @chinup and I hope I continue to stay clean/sober.

had a good surf this morning, visited my dad in hospital, taking my dog for a walk then going to bake a cake. I keep thinking of using, but I’m not going to today.

I’ve wasted a lot of time/years drinking alcohol and using other drugs. I can’t go back in time, but I can make sure I don’t waste any more and I’m pretty committed to that at the moment and I hope I stay that way.

and yes, fuck addiction I totally agree.

 

[dragonix]

That is why I pray. And is the only thing that could help.

Good to know trying out different things just picked up a small Jesus crucifix from a Veterans thrift store after smashing a glass figurine on my home altar from an Eastern teaching against the opposite facing wall across the living room already has a hole needs repair just an abrasion this one but the figurine exploded into three pieces and He was decapitated I immediately felt regret and started chanting another figure related to that Eastern faith and reason teaching.

Was withdrawaling dude I am getting yet a different deity if ye will from this same teaching system I fail to apply properly to daily living manners so badly it might be laughable if not deplorable.

On a brighter note doing alright no alcohol in a few days since a foot injury at work first outpatient appt. @ Health tomorrow morning then first at the other outpatient (going to two simultaneously they have different approaches) Monday wish me luck and I will ye if ye believe in it hah but Jah will if you all good in this hood

Haha this guy @ 🛤 headshop was puffing a 4500 puff Hyde said it was the best model hah here I am blaming these devices for nearly giving me a heart attack vaping is shown 2 increase the risk but I am a savage poly junkie (not an opiate one more like tweaker speed freak style junktard) so my risk is substantiated exponentially by the plethora of whacky shit going down my throat under my lizard gizzard and up my somehow undamaged nasal septums the risk aint enuff to get me to get off caved in withdrawaling today got 50mg nic stick sry Hyde it ain't you it is me you ain t Big Tobacco they should be in the loony bin here in the

 

[xaddictx]

Aww.Gawd. I am getting my appetite back. I thought I was going to vomit to death.
I know t.m.i.
Thank you ?!

Take some ginger or ginger ale. Zofran helps if u have it. Hope u feel better.

 

[tired of crap]

Been 16 months back on the booze. Nothing hard, just beer, and the amounts arent crazy.
But it results in a sedentary lifestyle and poor diet and it all just adds to my depression.
Furthering my drinking in a vicious cycle.

But Ive had enough. Its time to quit. Again.
I had 18 months sober when I started again last June. And a year twice throughout my "career" lol... what Im getting at is Im confident I can do it again.

Due to the amounts, Im not concerned about DTs or the like
But mentally, I feel sick without it, especially in the mornings and at night.
Shakey in the mornings but no where near as bad as after tiletamine binges .. lol?
Magnesium and NAC help

Tomorrow morning makes 2 days without booze
But if the rest of my life doesnt change I know Ill fall back into it.

Gonna come up with a schedule for sleep, exercise and meditation

 

[n3ophy7e]

Can I post this, it's so pretty ?!

Thnx ! ☺🕊

I have heard this saying before and I LOVE it. Thanks for posting this

 

[dragonix]

Think it's time to be more vague for possible legal parameter adhesion. It has been decided by the nurse at the outpatient I am going to I can only do one and that is all going to meetings and that what I was doing only got me so far apparently at my wits end in a beneficial way

 

[hylite]

I just took 4mg's right now. I feel like I need more. Maybe 2mg. I will wait and try to ride it out. Maybe sleep. Maybe more wax. Maybe it's the wax that is stressing me out.
I ate some carbs and sugar. Maybe will help me fall asleep to feel better. I drank more ginger ale too.
I didn't drink an energy drink today FOR ONCE. Maybe the energy drink cut off is about to do me in. I have to go to work some shifts the next two days. I feel like I am dying. I have to go in though. But dying feels so terrible.

 

[hylite]

I just wrote about my TMJ (pain.) hope someone answers me.

 

[Jabberwocky]

i've been a bit busy the past few days moving. my younger cat has found it very hard. he's been squeaking in the middle of the night. absolute nightmare, poor little guy. i've bought him loads of calming things. so tired though.

also completely failed at not drinking which i'm pretty ashamed about. not purged though so that's a plus, and i told my boyf i'd been doing it so now it will be practically impossible to get away with, so hopefully done with that now.

 

[hylite]

Just got over a throbbing 24 hour chronic headache. Wow. And probably dehydration too. I think I need some blue light screen glasses or some more scary stuff.
At least I can beat a full blown cluster ( headache ) with my little helper.

Oh all I was just going to say is feeling delayed AND VERY Slow. ☺

 

[hylite]

Okay I just had TONS of sugar. My dog wants bones. How can I say No !!!
We have to fix.

 

[hylite]

Wow. This really feels awful. The only thing that I feel like eating is plain chocolate cake and butter pecan also plain.
And water is good when I can. It's starting to hurt. I have to taper I guess. So that's it and this is where I am stuck forever. I am good as it will never be. Oh I can't wait to take my dose, And just heal thanx.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

I got some Vernors. Gawd it was good. It's dark.

It is my # 1 go to when I am thirsty. It has a bite and a tang that I love. And lots of bubbles. And of course my home state is where it was originally bottled.

 

[hylite]

Pumpkin2021 OMG I was Born in Detroit