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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Xorkoth

5-MeO-DMT - First Time - Trip Report (combatting depression)

DeepDepression

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 20, 2017
Messages
3
Backstory: I am a 4th year university student and I got major depression for the first time in my life in 2nd year of university due to a falling out I had with a girl who I was infatuated with. Ive had prior psychedelic experience before this 5-MeO-DMT trip as I have done shrooms numerous times to treat my depression with success.

I relapsed last year and had major depression again for a few months but I tried out professional help this time and was put on an antipsychotic and anti depressant which I am currently still on. For a while my medication worked extremely well and my life improved tremendously and everything was good except for the fact that I don't find enjoyment in anything at my current point of life even though my life is better than it ever was. My work ethic and life has gotten so much better since Ive gotten on the medication, I am going to make deans list this year for the first time in my life from having mediocre grades pre-medication but I just don't find life fun.

To treat this anhedonia, I've desperately been trying to get shrooms for a while now as I believe that one good shroom trip is all I need but I have not been successful in getting them. I decided to get 250mg of 5-MeO-DMT HCL as a substitute since its a psychedelic as well and I've been fascinated with reading DMT and related substances trip reports.

I snorted 0.14mg of the substance (or so I thought since I realized today that my scale is completely off and it was most likely much more than that). I went to lay down in bed and was hit by its effects in a little less than a minute. My breathing got shallower and it started to feel like I was losing consciousness. I closed my eyes and thought about how it was uncomfortable yet nothing I can't handle as I've had a bad trip on shrooms before where I felt like I got stuck in a nightmare and felt pure terror like I've never felt before. I started to feel like I was going brain dead, and eventually convinced my self that I truly was brain dead. I started to think about how I messed up big time this time and the consequences will be severe. I started to think about how I have my last final exam tomorrow but school does not matter anymore since my life is over. I accepted this fact and slowly started to feel like I was dying for real this time. I thought about how I am about to cause so much pain to everyone that knows me since they are going to realize that I have died from a drug overdose. I had zero control over myself and could not do anything at all and the only thought playing in my head was a memory of my mom saying I shouldn't commit sins or I'll end up in hell on judgement day (I come from a muslim family but I don't believe in religion). I knew that judgement day has come for me and if there is a god that exists, they are super disappointed in me and have cursed my consciousness to be in this brain dead form where all I feel is eternal sadness and pain that intensifies over time. It starts to feel like a long time is passing and the pain is getting intense and intense and I think that my consciousness will explode from the pain. I started puking all over myself once the pain got unbearable but it snapped me back to reality. I look at my bed and see that it is covered in puke and so am I but I am alive.

I feel relieved that I am still alive, its been a day since the incident. The 5-MeO-DMT did not treat my depression but did leave me terrified of dying or going brain dead and of the substance itself.

Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_5meodmt
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_firsttime
exptype_negative
exptype_bodyload
exptype_difficult
roacode_nasal
 
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140 micrograms?

What antipsychotic and antidepressant. Both of those can actually dampen the effects (uuuh an ssri can) but the dose (.14mg) is throwing me off.
 
Sounds like you're not out of the depression yet. I know this is a drug forum but have you put time into psychological approaches like cognitive behavioural therapy and mindfulness?
 
140 micrograms?

What antipsychotic and antidepressant. Both of those can actually dampen the effects (uuuh an ssri can) but the dose (.14mg) is throwing me off.

Sorry I meant 14mg, the medication was latuda and citalopram

Sounds like you're not out of the depression yet. I know this is a drug forum but have you put time into psychological approaches like cognitive behavioural therapy and mindfulness?

I actually just had my first appointment yesterday, hope it goes well
 
5-MeO-DMT is thought to act like an MAOI in the brain. When combined with an anti-depressant (SSRI), that could put you at risk of serotonin syndrome.
 
I love psychedelics, and would like to think that everyone should try them at least once. But experiences like this can seem unavoidable. Even with proper set and setting. Every psychonaut eventually gets them. In the end, wether or not crazy trips are worth the risk is questionable, but I still take the risk for some reason. The best you can do is probably just accept it as a pretty good story to tell your friends, and not as trauma, or damage. Good luck on your voyages, bro!
 
Forgot i had an account here, at that time i was on an ssri and antipsychotic. I had another nightmare trip after this one on 4AcODMT (11 hours of pure insanity) and it wasnt until after i realized the ssri and anti psych combo was the culprit. The 5MeODMT dose I took was 14mg but i did not have an accurate scale so it could easily be 50mg+
I havent done any RC psychs after that as i was traumatized for a long time after but have had multiple good LSD trips after
Also happy to report i am in a better place now and have been depression free for a few years
 
5-meo-DMT should be consumed in a controlled environment with a trip-sitter... preferably someone who is a trained facilitator.

It is an extremely powerful and overwhelming substance. The potential for bad trips is high, I suppose, having read about people's experiences on BL... but the potential for healing is HUGE.

When consumed properly, it induces a state of non-duality. Your description is nothing like my experiences. For me, there are no thoughts in my head and I am absolutely connected to the universe.

I have never had a negative experience with bufo. It is (for me) by far the most perfect psychedelic and by far the most perfect drug. No contest.

Also: it is not a research chemical.
 
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