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Recovery addicted to dxm

lazydullard

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 25, 2007
Messages
1,126
Location
Arizona
Those are good rules to use. I plan to finish school and achieve professional success before revisiting DXM. My priorities got really messed up on the drug. It just makes me feel perfect. Like, literally perfect, like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. I feel like I'm suppose to be high on DXM as a way to praise the universe for letting me exist. I travel to fantastic worlds when I close my eyes on DXM. I like the trip so much. Exploring different galaxies on cough syrup.

I'm going to finish school before my next dose of cough syrup. I'm talking years before I revisit it. I live for the stuff. But following those rules, too, it will be years before I can trip again. My parents consider it disrespectful to be high at their house. But cough syrup taught me to love myself, and now to love myself really well I must step back from it. I don't plan to use cough syrup again until I'm in my own apartment.
 

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
55,026
Location
Looking-Glass Land
Sounds like you are finding your way lazydullard. You deserve a hell of a lot of respect for blazing your own trail the way you are! Kudos brother <3
 

lazydullard

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 25, 2007
Messages
1,126
Location
Arizona
Today I had some cravings, so I lurked around recovery websites. It's been about 7 weeks since I last used cough syrup. I miss it but know I still need to be sober from it. This is my commitment to sobriety. It's the best choice for me currently.

This is my pledge to be sober today.
 

lazydullard

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 25, 2007
Messages
1,126
Location
Arizona
Actually, I'm lucky enough to have an xbox one. I've been playing fallout 4. I also have been journaling, and have recently begun on reddit and have been reviewing erowid reports again. I do that every few years.
 

lazydullard

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 25, 2007
Messages
1,126
Location
Arizona
I have been off DXM for about 6 months. My memory isn't as good as it used to be before I used for 10 years. I always thought that it was just temporary, because I was always high or coming down. But no, it's still sticking with me.

I also developed a stutter from DXM abuse.

I have no regrets, and am sober except for caffeine and nicotine. It no longer seems impossible or unthinkable to be sober for life, though I'll probably revisit DXM again after college and getting my own apartment or house. But not before then.
 

P0kemama

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 4, 2015
Messages
873
Location
Western states
LD: Congrats on staying off the DXM for 6 months.. I had to become clean and sober in order to stay away from opiates... there were too many "grey" areas for me to use drugs as needed, or responsibly. I am coming up on a year clean and I would not go back to that addict way of living... I am very grateful to be clean! It sounds like you are on a righteous path... keep doing what is best for you!
 

Beenbetter

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 19, 2017
Messages
200
I just read your whole story ld.
Very good job you have done. You are a gifted writer and obviously very intelligent. I myself am glad you bumped this back to the top.
Congrats on your achievements!
 
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