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Recovery Alcohol is not an option anymore

Pumpkin2021

Moderator: TDS, NMI
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Awesome progress bro, I knew you had it in you. Good things should be right around the corner, if they haven't already arrived. Just be careful in months 2 +3, they are some of the most difficult and it's caused many an addict to relapse for a variety of reasons.

Let me know if you ever need someone to talk to.
How did your other interview go? Pizza place?

And you are also doing awesome on your sobriety path.

And man, you are right about getting complacent about the 3 month mark. We let our guard down way too easy.

Have a good week end.
 

Pumpkin2021

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I struggle hardcore with alcohol myself these days. I don't really have anything to say. I just try not to put myself down too too hard.
Yep. No point in putting our selves down and eating at our self worth. Just makes us use more. Damn vicious cycle it is.
 

deficiT

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How did your other interview go? Pizza place?

And you are also doing awesome on your sobriety path.

And man, you are right about getting complacent about the 3 month mark. We let our guard down way too easy.

Have a good week end.
It went pretty well, he was supposed to send me an email with a conditional offer so I could start the background check, but I haven't gotten it yet. As long as background check clears I'll have the job.

It is very easy to get complacent, once you get out of the initial withdrawal and sobriety. I'm at 85 days currently, so I'm kinda in that zone myself. It's difficult.
 

chinup

Sr. Moderator: EADD, H&R
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well done @Snafu of the Forest !!! that is fucking brilliant. pat yourself on the back.

and @deficiT too you are killing it- its easy to accidentally score onthe way home from rehab.... so every day past that is brilliant. and to be getting near the 3 month mark, i think that's when i started finding things easier emotionally. til the 6 month mark then i moved backwards a whole load cos of ptsd.
 

negrogesic

Moderator: BDD, OD
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@Snafu of the Forest I am a recovering hardcore 24/7 drinker alcoholic. I know what these moments are like. You've slowly been coming to this conclusion over the last few months that I've known you and I truly wish you all the absolute BEST with your sobriety. You have my full, unconditional, unwavering support, and I mean that. Message me any time, ANY TIME, and we'll talk about whatever. Love you bro, you can do this <3

How did you stop? You were drinking something like 3 liters of wine a day weren't you 🤯

I'm having trouble decreasing my 7-8 beers a night. I keep on trying to force myself to drink a can of soda water in between each beer to slow me down but i have a hard time complying.

I think my evening marijuana use is making it a bit harder since it puts me on edge/increases my anxiety.
 

n3ophy7e

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Well i suppose the real question is, how did you manage after? And have the fortitude to stay off?
My liver enzymes were off the charts (understandably) and when they did an ultrasound on my liver they found a patch of cirrhosis. I'm only 36 years old and that has legit scared the living fuck out of me. It was by far the biggest wake up call that I've ever had. For me now, alcohol truly is not an option, period. When I got out of hospital I moved in with my partner who is 100% sober, I kept myself busy, went to the gym every day, got addicted to exercise and eating healthy. Now I'm nearly 6 months sober (hang on....lemme check the calendar...I might be at 6 months......nope, 5.5 months :) ) and I rarely even think about alcohol. Very occasionally I'll have a pang, a fleeting thought of "FUCK I could murder a cold beer right now!" but the thought is then gone as quickly as it came. Plus I'm pregnant now so I cannot drink anyway.
I guess my body and my mind just got so sick and tired of the alcohol cage that I'd been in for the last 18 years that it finally let it go.
 

emkee_reinvented

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In the goo
cliche boring ass thread

7/10/2021 - made a fool of myself again today and made my friends hate me again, I honestly just want to cry and hide from everything. Bury me a nice deep hole. Get comfy. Fuck you.

6:48am: been sobering up for 3 hours, no sleep and about to go to work, I don't feel like drinking today, just want some weed.... today will not be an issue, it's always day 2....
Good work Snafu. Same spot here. On day 12 and improvement's are beginning to get noticeable.

But I was simultaneously recovering from the physical and mental injury's from the trauma left by my third seizure. That happened 8 day's ago. This was preceded by an Psycotic episode (the 7 day's before the insult). This is directly rooted to an stressful event the week preceding the psychosis. I am getting sued by my ex, and her attorney is an dumb-ass moron.

The disappointment of visiting the Neuroloog was bothersome. A tiring trip of 4:45 hours to/ from Lalaland, for nothing, njente. The neurologist gave no insight at all. Actually she looked at me like a goat would.
She offered me no practical solution for might it occur again. The same way she dealt with my concerns about the sleeping problems.

She basically did nothing, except raise my dose of Levetiracetam to 1500mg. When I optioned to make an 'emergency to do plan' for when the first symptom's occur. I notice them at least 8 days on forehand.
She had no clue, and basically concluded you can't prevent an Insult. Wtf, even scientific internet sources provide info about this that contradict her answer. And some go as far as stating 'nipping it the bud' is the best treatment to prevent an Epileptic insult.

Just like her assistent who I contacted in the pre-Ictal episode. As I felt something was off. The symptoms I described while in this psychosic state to him 'were not alarming'.

Not very good for the patient/ practitioner relationship. And my general negativ view on dr's and healthcare in my rich country in general.

I assume it was Pre-Ictal Psychosis. Which covers a lot of the normally to be expected cessation effect's I would experience from the drinking. The insult left me bruised and battered. But luckily alive.

The Epileptic isult, Tonic/ Clonic. Was not triggered by Alcohol directly or cessation. But the negative effect's it has on my sleep was a big contributer, I guess, sleepless night's awake all day. a recipe for an insult.

I totally dropped Alcohol, not touching it again this live for sure. Think about it, if you are in that frame of mind I highly recommend it! Keep it up and strength in your proces.
 
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simstim

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Apr 20, 2021
Messages
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Lately I've been drinking some alcohol first thing in the mornings.

Today I suffered all day not drinking (trying to quit or maybe taper) and then around 9pm bought 3x 25oz @5% hard seltzers. Then went back to the liquor store right before they closed for two more.

I'm conflicted as to whether I should drink the last one now or save it for tomorrow. I really have to stop drinking again before it gets out of hand.

I've had less alcohol today than yesterday, and the day before, and the day before....

Most of today was pretty rough though.

I just remembered tomorrow is Sunday and liquor cannot be sold where I live on Sunday's before 1pm (basically by law you can't be going to church drunk!) so maybe I'll save this last beer for in the morning.
 

n3ophy7e

Moderator: TDS, H&R, MH
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I've had less alcohol today than yesterday, and the day before, and the day before....
So it sounds like you're tapering down your alcohol intake anyway? Make the most of that and keep tapering down. Are you getting any physical withdrawals if you're "late" drinking any alcohol? Like, if you didn't drink in the morning, what would happen?
 

simstim

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Apr 20, 2021
Messages
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So it sounds like you're tapering down your alcohol intake anyway? Make the most of that and keep tapering down. Are you getting any physical withdrawals if you're "late" drinking any alcohol? Like, if you didn't drink in the morning, what would happen?
Well today I was shaky and dry heaved a bit (though not as much as yesterday which included vomiting). I've barely eaten all day too. Been having various issues like general body pain and difficulty catching my breath. Restlessness and pacing, too.

I'm broke and therefore out of marijuana, too. I usually smoke small amounts of pretty decent marijuana all day.

I'm basically out of tobacco too.

The only thing I have on hand is a couple of different psychedelics and I don't want to repeat dosing those while in mild alcohol withdrawal. I had a pretty difficult experience with that the last time which was fairly recently.

What I really need is benzos for a few days. At least I have not been drinking any distilled spirits.
 
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n3ophy7e

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Well today I was shaky and dry heaved a bit (though not as much as yesterday which included vomiting). I've barely eaten all day too. Been having various issues like general body pain and difficulty catching my breath. Restlessness and pacing, too.

I'm broke and therefore out of marijuana, too. I usually smoke small amounts of pretty decent marijuana all day.

I'm basically out of tobacco too.

The only thing I have on hand is a couple of different psychedelics and I don't want to repeat dosing those while in mild alcohol withdrawal. I had a pretty difficult experience that the last time which was fairly recently.

What I really need is benzos for a few days. At least I have not been drinking any distilled spirits.
This all sounds great, except for being out of weed, that sucks. (I don't smoke weed but I appreciate how much it can help with withdrawals).
Is it possible you could get a small amount of valium?? Most doctors will prescribe a small amount to help with alcohol cessation. It would help immensely. You'd only need 3-4 days worth. If you do manage to get some valium (or any other benzos), make sure you don't drink any alcohol while you're using the benzos, otherwise it'll make the alcohol withdrawals worse and just makes the whole process a lot harder in the long run.
 

simstim

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This all sounds great, except for being out of weed, that sucks. (I don't smoke weed but I appreciate how much it can help with withdrawals).
Is it possible you could get a small amount of valium?? Most doctors will prescribe a small amount to help with alcohol cessation. It would help immensely. You'd only need 3-4 days worth. If you do manage to get some valium (or any other benzos), make sure you don't drink any alcohol while you're using the benzos, otherwise it'll make the alcohol withdrawals worse and just makes the whole process a lot harder in the long run.
Highly unlikely on the diazepam.

I could order benzos. It takes two weeks from the vendor I use to reach me, though, and I am unwilling to continue drinking that long.
 

simstim

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Apr 20, 2021
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So yesterday I had 5x 24oz @5%. It was barely enough that I was able to catnap most of today away, but woke feeling rough. Dry heaving and my hands are shaking a little.

I had enough change to walk to the liquor store and get 5 more 24oz (714mL) beers and a pack of cigars. Gotta quit this. I wish I had money for benzos and a decent local connect.

I would even risk some pressed Xanax at this point, but really I wish I had phenazepam!! That 60 hour half life would be spot on for this.
 

emkee_reinvented

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Jan 27, 2009
Messages
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In the goo
Lately I've been drinking some alcohol first thing in the mornings.

Today I suffered all day not drinking (trying to quit or maybe taper) and then around 9pm bought 3x 25oz @5% hard seltzers. Then went back to the liquor store right before they closed for two more.

I'm conflicted as to whether I should drink the last one now or save it for tomorrow. I really have to stop drinking again before it gets out of hand.

I've had less alcohol today than yesterday, and the day before, and the day before....

Most of today was pretty rough though.

I just remembered tomorrow is Sunday and liquor cannot be sold where I live on Sunday's before 1pm (basically by law you can't be going to church drunk!) so maybe I'll save this last beer for in the morning.
Be very cautious, the problem's Alcohol caused me was when I had the bright idea to start drinking after getting out of bed.

That was the last drop that led to my final downfall. And as a result i got 2 Epileptic seizure's.

But that morning routine is not advisable SimStim, i am rooting for you to not go that way.
 

n3ophy7e

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Be very cautious, the problem's Alcohol caused me was when I had the bright idea to start drinking after getting out of bed.

That was the last drop that led to my final downfall. And as a result i got 2 Epileptic seizure's.

But that morning routine is not advisable SimStim, i am rooting for you to not go that way.
I completely agree. Drinking alcohol first thing in the morning really fucks up your brain chemistry and your body. It's a very slippery slope once you start morning drinking....
 
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