Benzos Benzo wd right after sub wds and could use some help

[OCD2DOC]

Well, I'm a special kind of stupid, or maybe I'm one of those people that enjoys pain .
Just got through doing a suboxone withdrawal, and now I'm in benzo wd hell, smh....

Just for background..... I tapered my suboxone for a month or so, and wds this go around weren't anywhere near as bad as when I CT'd methadone back in 14'. I'm still a little scarred from that methadone experience.

But I digress, about 10 days into my sub detox ( I think I'm on day 18-19 atm) I started noticing the xanax wds.
I started dropping my xanax first day of my sub detox because I've grown to hate the way benzos make me feel when I am not taking an opioid. That, and despite a little sleep help, it seemed (not seemed, it did) that the xanax actually made my sub wd worse when I took it ( wasn't for bad luck wouldn't have any)
I went from 2- 2.5 mg a day to pretty much .5 twice a day. Then to .25 once a day, all in 2 weeks.

Much to my surprise, I actually felt ok as far as benzo wd ( maybe because the sub wds were so bad I didn't notice the benzo wd) and was feeling halfway positive UNTIL I made that last cut, and that is when my real nightmare started.

I knew exactly what was going on when the unadulterated xanax wds showed up. I have experienced panic attacks and temporary benzo wd before. I had some Ativan and decided to taper over to it to try to ease the wd.
I took 1 mg or less the last couple days, and it does hold me ( albeit barely), but the head buzzing, ringing ears, 1000- yard stare, occasional walls breathing/spinning, and just generally feeling like a space cadet/fried pie are in full effect.
I decided today I would just jump off the Ativan (IKR 8)) and I made it about six hours before satan himself came to my door to get me.
It wasn't so much the symptoms that I couldn't handle, but the fear of having a seizure and nobody there to help me ( doing this alone, atm)
Needless to say I broke down and took .5 Ativan and subsequently .5 Xanax and it brought me out of hell temporarily.

Now, for the reason I made the post ( btw, thx to anyone who made it this far and all apologies for rambling on). Am I just postponing the inevitable at this point?
Should I make another go at the jumping off all benzos? Are there any drugs that might be able to help me through this?

I see my GP tmrrrw and I see my psychiatrist next Tuesday.
I didn't necessarily plan on detoxing off benzos, but here I am. I feel like shit when I take a dose, and I feel like the world is collapsing in on me if I don't take a dose. I'm stuck between a rock and a granite pit!
It know it's just a week until I see my psychiatrist, but I don't want to sit here in limbo for a whole week. These days feel like MONTHS, and I generally feel like I am taking poison everytime I take a benzo. It's so hard to explain. It's like my body is now rejecting benzos, and I still felt like a space cadet after I took some today.

IDK, maybe I should try to stablize even though I hate the way these benzo's making me feel.
Like I said, I've evolved to loathe taking benzos unless they are in concert with an opioid/opiate. Somehow with me they synergize and create a new drug.

What to do at this point, I really don't know. Tomorrow I'm thinking about asking my GP for something to keep me from having seizures and just getting the acute part of these wds over with.

Any advice/suggestions/hope would be immensely appreciated.

 

[JackARoe]

I didn't necessarily plan on detoxing off benzos, but here I am. I feel like shit when I take a dose, and I feel like the world is collapsing in on me if I don't take a dose. I'm stuck between a rock and a granite pit!

Hey OC, I hope you are feeling better. I just wanted to kick up your thread so it stays active. So many posts everyday they get lost.

I will say BL has a lot of info, if you filter on benzos in the Other Drugs forum you get pages of people is some tough spots. Having read some of your posts it seems you have experience with this already and probably know how to get through it. But thanks for that little bit of honesty. Sleep is all I can do if I have to take a benzo and always feel better then next day when I don't have to take one and am clear headed. It must be miserable to actually not like them and have to take them.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Afaik there are no supplement's OTC that could migitate Benzo WD's. Which can lead to seizure's.

So the only option's are a proper taper. Be it DIY or guided by your dr.

 

[OCD2DOC]

But thanks for that little bit of honesty. Sleep is all I can do if I have to take a benzo and always feel better then next day when I don't have to take one and am clear headed. It must be miserable to actually not like them and have to take them.

Thank you for the reply. I genuinely and sincerely mean that, too.

Yeah, I have a little experience as far as what the symptoms are.
Looking back over the last 3 weeks as I was coming off the subs and weaning down the xanax, I know why I had the real bad days of sub withdrawal. It was xanax wds kicking in. The xanax wds have picked up intensity and don't really feel the sub wds anymore. The xanax wds are super specific now.

Pretty much in a medium state of psychosis. Like the next day after an acid trip for a week now. It's been a little over 48 hours since I have taken any benzo.
That .5 of Ativan and .5 of xanax carried me through yesterday.
Headache and neck stiffness back today. Other symptoms but those are the big ones.

I went to my doctor yesterday and he thinks with the taper I'm out of the woods as far as seizures and didn't prescribe anything for me to ride this out. I wish it was today when I went because I didn't feel as bad yesterday.
I didn't have the mental power to debate things with him tho. These doctors just don't understand. I guess I'm just going to soldier on until this acute phase is over.

Respect to anyone that has had to go through the nightmare of benzo wds.
I'm consider myself pretty stong minded, but this level of anxiety and derealization is next level.
I can guarantee you if I make it through this I will never take another benzo.

edit: I ended up calling my doctor back and left a message to see if he would call me in
some sort of gabapentinoid. Meantime, I remembered my Dad had gave me some Gabapentin 600 mg about 3 years ago. Can't believe I have been suffering through this xanax wd and had 90 600 mg Neurotins stashed away
That's probably what the old doc calls in later this evening.
Hopefully they help. If nothing else maybe they calm my nerves a little from stressing over seizing up.
oh man....what a day/week/month.

 

[OCD2DOC]

Afaik there are no supplement's OTC that could migitate Benzo WD's. Which can lead to seizure's.

So the only option's are a proper taper. Be it DIY or guided by your dr.

This.
Nothing over the counter is going to help. You definitely need some Rx meds.
I took some Gabapentin about 2 hours ago and holly hell is it a life saver.
Took me from a suffering level of 10 down to a 2-3.
Quailed pretty much all my symptoms.
I haven't been able to shake that brain rattling until now. Constant firing and firing with no connections feels like you are short circuiting. Realistically, that's probably not far from what is happening.
No doubt the Gabapentin will help stave off seizures. May not work for everybody as far as wds, but I've heard a lot of people have used to help with benzo wds.
My advice/experience is to give it a try.

 

[JackARoe]

Respect to anyone that has had to go through the nightmare of benzo wds.
I'm consider myself pretty stong minded, but this level of anxiety and derealization is next level.
I can guarantee you if I make it through this I will never take another benzo.

The respect goes to you too, feeling like garbage and typing clearly. Cross these days off the calendar and keep going.

Lately there have been a few threads to where some long term daily users did not have a hard time coming off as opposed to all the other ones. Most are people actually feeling withdrawal after just a few weeks which is what should be heeded. People get the wrong idea and start popping this things that feel innocuous. But I can say posts like this help people put things into perspective. I am not saying don't use benzos. I am just saying people should have a better plan if they are not under a doctors orders and moreso if they are!

I wonder if gabapentin or pregabalin would help in any great way. They feel different to benzos. But they can probably make you comfortable enough to feel better. I think most say they can help but a few did not think so. They for sure help with opiate withdrawal but from what I read most of you all say it is a walk in the park compared to benzo withdrawal.

Thanks for the updates OCD2COD. I get a little irritated at some threads that grunt out a post like "help me homie been popping 20 mgs of xanax a day and want to stop". Then the thread gets 50 posts. And here is a nice clear thread and I honestly think you will end up helping others more than people helping you.

You know I don't know anything about benzo withdrawal. Opiates yes. A hot shower always helps. I wonder if that could help even a smidgen in benzo withdrawal? Some gabapentin (stagger it, there is a lot of info on BL as to how) and a hot shower. But what do I know?

 

[OCD2DOC]

You know I don't know anything about benzo withdrawal. Opiates yes. A hot shower always helps. I wonder if that could help even a smidgen in benzo withdrawal? Some gabapentin (stagger it, there is a lot of info on BL as to how) and a hot shower. But what do I know?

My friend, the gabapentin is/was a f'ing life saver. Mercy was delivered from on high.
I didn't even remember I had the gaba's from my dad. They were at my mom's house next door. I forgot I stahsed them there couple years or so back. My mom found them for me and the feeling of going to get them was like when you going to the dope man's house.
I've taken them before and had a strong feeling they would help.


Anyhow, still waiting to see what the doc calls in.
Thats if he calls anything in. If he does I bet it is gabapentin.
I'm not expecting too much and am glad I got something to ease the symptoms when they get too intense. Probably going to help me sleep, too.
I will use it 5-7 days and taper off.

Thanks for the kind and encouraging words.
I have kept my wits about me so far. ( admittedly, just barely)
I think it helps a lot to try and keep a sense of humor about it all.
I guess I'll have a good war story to tell soon. God I hope so anyways lol.

Funny you talking about a hot shower.
Johnny Depp did a good job of explaining how they help with opiod/opiate wds yesterday.
They definitely help with wds. I have lived on hot showers last 3 weeks. Took one earlier and thinking about taking another one soon.

But yeah, it helps me to write out my misery. If someone gets something out of my misery I would be thrilled. I'm not anti-benzo for everyone, but I am going to be anti-benzo for myself from here on out. Taking them just isn't any fun anymore.

 

[Bad Obsession]

Keep in mind how ya feel now for the future buddy.... 17 yrs ago I was taking diazepam for around 8 months & was eventually up to 80mg/day. Had stopped getting any kind of buzz off em so, not knowing anything about benzo wd, I just stopped taking any. Was ok until around the 3rd/4th day & that's when all hell broke loose, u don't need me to elaborate any further as uve found out for urself. Didn't link it with the diaz as was ok for first few days, thought I was dying of something unconnected - really. So made appointment with my GP. Anyway after talking to the doc he put me on a diaz taper starting at 35mg/day & the relief after my first dose was amazing, not high in any way but just the relief of being outta wd. Long story short - after the taper I swore off benzos & tbf I didn't touch em again for yrs but time fades memories of how bad things get & here I am bk on another taper after abusing benzos again since 2018- doing taper myself this time as GP wouldn't help so don't do what I did.... just keep how ur feeling now to the front of ur mind so ya never go bk to em. Good luck pal & hope ya feel better soon

 

[Bad Obsession]

I stuck out the cold turkey off the diaz for couple of wks before being put on the taper btw, it wasn't getting any easier but cos u were using xanax/ativan which has a much shorter half-life than diaz ur acute wd should be over sooner than if u were taking a long half-life benzo. But yeah, definitely take something to help ie the gabapentin

 

[OCD2DOC]

I stuck out the cold turkey off the diaz for couple of wks before being put on the taper btw, it wasn't getting any easier but cos u were using xanax/ativan which has a much shorter half-life than diaz ur acute wd should be over sooner than if u were taking a long half-life benzo. But yeah, definitely take something to help ie the gabapentin

Thanks man. That was encouraging to read.
I know EXACTLY what you mean by "time fades memories". I just got through doing my second tour of duty off long half-life opiod. First time was methadone and now subs.
Methadone was cold turkey and inhumane isn't the word.
I kid you not, I wasn't functional for 30 days. I wasn't feeling ok for at least 3-4 months, and not normal for well over year to year and a half.
My limbic system was utterly wrecked. I couldn't even watch tv for months because my mind would think it was in whatever I was watching and my anxiety/fight of flight would go through the roof. The constricted affect was unreal. Thankfully, I tapered the subs and always kept a very lose dose.
I know they hit people differently, but I was expecting same as methadone wd and it just wasn't anywhere near as bad. Kratom first 3 -4 days helped a lot. Was easy to stop because it tastes like trying to down ground up cat terds ( or what I supppose ground up cat terd to taste like)

I believe I made it out the sub wds. Just in time for a nice round of xanax withdrawal 8).
Man, when they hit they pack a punch. I can't say worse than the methadone wds, but as far as mental it's by far worse. The gabapentin is a must, IMO. I was starting to crumble earlier. It was like 1:30 in afternoon and I had been up since 2 am.
My head was done in 100x over. I feel a lot better after 600 mg of gaba and a hot shower.

Head still buzing but I'm hanging in there. I wouldn't say necessarily feeling ok.
I'm pretty f'ing far from ok actually, but for the first time today I actually believed I can do this.
I will keep this thread bumped at least through the acute phase.
That's what most people are wanting to know ( how long/bad is the nasty part of the wd).. Long term wds are a crap shoot. I will deal with them when I get there and one day at a time.

And yes Sir, I won't soon forget this experience. I'm going to ride that pink cloud until it runs out of gas and I'm not looking back.
Good luck to you on this next detox. Sucks you have to go through it again but you have experience on your side and I pray it is able to help you through.

 

[Bad Obsession]

Thanks man. That was encouraging to read.
I know EXACTLY what you mean by "time fades memories". I just got through doing my second tour of duty off long half-life opiod. First time was methadone and now subs.
Methadone was cold turkey and inhumane isn't the word.
I kid you not, I wasn't functional for 30 days. I wasn't feeling ok for at least 3-4 months, and not normal for well over year to year and a half.
My limbic system was utterly wrecked. I couldn't even watch tv for months because my mind would think it was in whatever I was watching and my anxiety/fight of flight would go through the roof. I tapered the subs and always kept a very lose dose.
I know they hit people differently, but I was expecting same as methadone wd and it just wasn't anywhere near as bad. Kratom first 3 -4 days helped a lot. Was easy to stop because it tastes like trying to down ground up cat terds ( or what I supppose ground up cat terd to taste like)

But I made it out the sub wds. Just in time for a nice round of xanax withdrawal 8).
Man, when they hit they pack a punch. I can't say worse than the methadone wds, but as far as mental it's by far worse. The gabapentin is a must, IMO. I was starting to crumble earlier. It was like 1:30 in afternoon and I had been up since 2 am.
My head was done in 100x over. I feel a lot better after 600 mg of gaba and a hot shower.

Head still buzing but I'm hanging in there. I wouldn't say necessarily feeling ok.
I'm pretty f'ing far from ok actually, but for the first time today I actually believed I can do this.
I will keep this thread bumped at least through the acute phase.
That's what most people are wanting to know ( how long/bad is the nasty part of the wd).. Long term wds are a crap shoot. I will deal with them when I get there and one day at a time.
But yes Sir, I won't soon forget this experience. I'm going to ride that pink cloud until it runs out of gas and I'm not looking back.
Good luck to you on this next detox. Sucks you have to go through it again but you have experience on your side and I pray it is able to help you through.

Thanks man, I'm nearing the end of the taper - on 6mg diaz/day now, thankfully it has been ok so far
Ur a braver man than me CTing methadone, I tapered it until I was on 1mg/day then stopped. When I told my keyworker to shove their prescription after an argument (my stupid pride lol) I went without methadone for around 5 days when I had been on 55mg/day & it was awful - even using H to try to help wasn't cutting it so can only begin to imagine what u went thru there.
Yes keep us updated on ur progress pal & like I say I wish u best of luck with it

 

[AbbeyLee]

I've cold turkeyed off benzos many a time, and benzos + 80mg/day oxycodone. The anxiety with that was intense and absolutely no sleep for seven days, but no seizures or hallucinations or anything.

 

[strangelemon]

Have been to hell and back with chemical addiction to benzos and alcohol at the same time- really doubled down- I can tell you with absolute certainty, the only safe way off of benzos is with a proper, medically supervised taper. Usually you will be put on a benzo with a longer half life as you taper- most likely valium. And it will take time. There is no safe shortcut to getting off benzos and CT is not advisable. For immediate reasons as well as long term, regarding your brain health.

It was a task finding a Dr who was really in the know about the delicate process of benzo tapering. There was one, and only one doctor here who would do it. Most will either taper too fast, which has deleterious effects on your brain chemistry- or they won't go near you because they believe you to be drug seeking, or because they understand how dangerous getting off benzos can be.

I don't say any of this to alarm you, unfortunately these are simply the facts when it comes to this rather treacherous drug.

Take care, best of luck... let us know how you fare.

 

[OCD2DOC]

I can tell you with absolute certainty, the only safe way off of benzos is with a proper, medically supervised taper. Usually you will be put on a benzo with a longer half life as you taper- most likely valium.

I agree. I don't even think it's really debatable that you are going to save yourself physical mental pain and damage by tapering. This should be your goal if you need to detox off benzos. If I knew before what I know now, I would have started a taper with valium a couple months ago when I started cutting the suboxone. But like I said in the start of this thread, I'm a special kind of stupid.8)

I don't recommend anyone go cold turkey from xanax. Like at all.
I did a really fast taper over 3 weeks coming off close to 3 years of @2 mg xanax a day, and I don't recommend this either. It has been painful to say the least.
I did all this on top of suboxone wds. I highly don't recommend this either.


Having said that, I'm not doing so bad today. I mean relatively speaking.
I was at a level 8-10 symptoms with psychosis yesterday at this time, and today I would say I am somewhere between a 2-4. I can only attribute the improvement to the gabapentin I began yesterday about 50 hours or so without any benzo.

I took 600 mg and it knocked down the symptoms like 75%.
600 mg was probably even a little overkill. I ended up getting 7-8 houre sleep. Probably double the highest amount I have got all month. I took 300 mg this morning with a long hot shower, and I feel stable. Definitely not anywhere near normal, but better exponentially better than last two days.

I will continue to take the gabapentin in smaller amounts over the next few days or so and then evaluate where I am at. That will be around 30 days since I started tapering.
I'm expecting another few weeks of transition with symptoms. I'm definitely not naive in regards.


My takeaway/experience atm is the gabapentin is/was a life saver. I wish I would have had it ready from the jump. If you are detoxing from benzos IMO it needs to be on standy.
It stopped that endless brain firing that IMO is analogous to a spark plug firing with no fuel or maybe the the pilot light is out on a gas furnace and the electric ignitor is clicking and clicking with no gas to light. I can easily imagine some neurotoxicity I will have to recover from. I would surmise from my experience the brain firing would definitely been lessened with a longer taper on a a longer half-life benzo like valium.

This is only my experience. Keep in mind you're mileage may vary to a high degree.

I don't say any of this to alarm you, unfortunately these are simply the facts when it comes to this rather treacherous drug.

Take care, best of luck... let us know how you fare.

No worries. Trust me, the wds did all the alarming %).
I appreciate everyone that has chimed in with advice and support.
If not for the site I would have been utterly screwed. I learned about the gabapentin on here. As well as the dangers of cold turkey.
Bluelight has helped me many times over the years. I will be forever grateful.

I will continue to report progress in case this may help someone in perpetuity.

 

[Bad Obsession]

Good to hear ur feeling better today buddy, keep at it.... u got this

 

[OCD2DOC]

Good to hear ur feeling better today buddy, keep at it.... u got this

Thanks buddy. I appreciate the encouragement. It really helps to hear from others that have unfortunately experienced the nightmare of benzo wds.
My advice to anyone considering using benzos is user beware.
Know if you use them there is a decent chance they will eventually turn on you and leave you with a pretty nasty wd to suffer through/deal with.

I would be curious to see how your taper goes. Would probably help someone who reads this to see both sides of the spectrum so to speak.
Best of luck to you. If you're down to 6mg of valium you are well on your way!

 

[Bad Obsession]

Cheers pal, yeah I'm doing ok on this taper, was coming down 2mg/fortnight diazepam til I got to 10mg then started coming down 1mg/fortnight. Been on the 6mg for 6 days now so another 8 days before I drop to 5mg. Had a wk long binge on H there (did my last bit today) so gonna have a bit of a rattle nxt 5 or so days but I have some DHC that I'll use to cushion the wd & some zopiclone to help sleep. Hopefully shouldn't be too bad as been smoking the H on foil as opposed to shooting it. Knocked shooting it on the head few months ago after another OD, had 12 opiate ODs in total so not gonna push my luck any further. I'll keep updated how my tapers going in this thread if ya don't mind mate. Like u say it may help others & I be interested to know how ur recovery progresses too

 

[OCD2DOC]

Cheers pal, yeah I'm doing ok on this taper, was coming down 2mg/fortnight diazepam til I got to 10mg then started coming down 1mg/fortnight. Been on the 6mg for 6 days now so another 8 days before I drop to 5mg. Had a wk long binge on H there (did my last bit today) so gonna have a bit of a rattle nxt 5 or so days but I have some DHC that I'll use to cushion the wd & some zopiclone to help sleep. Hopefully shouldn't be too bad as been smoking the H on foil as opposed to shooting it. Knocked shooting it on the head few months ago after another OD, had 12 opiate ODs in total so not gonna push my luck any further. I'll keep updated how my tapers going in this thread if ya don't mind mate. Like u say it may help others & I be interested to know how ur recovery progresses too

yeah, H wd has a nasty little bite to it for a few days. Only good thing is acute part goes fairly quick all things considered. Very short half life and all that. Hopefully it will won't last too long being you just did a 5 day binger. All the best to you!

I had a little bit of the head rattle back this morning. I would say the psychosis is light now, tho. Mornings are just tough in general, but afternoons a lot more tolerable. I got out yesterday afternoon and mowed the yard.
I wore ear plugs to keep my head from buzzing afterwards. Being in the sun and doing something 'normal' helped my mental state a lot.

The gabapentin is helping me sleep, and I am immensely grateful. Somehow I subconsciously knew to get that gabapentin from my Dad years ago. Coincidence, fate, or divine intervention, I'm not really sure. Just happy to have nonetheless.

I went down to 200 mg today and still got the calming effect from it.
Like I said in post above, I am not naive in regards to these benzo wds. I know I am cushioning the wds with the gabapentin, and when I cut it out I am going to probably have a little head rattle/rebound for a bit.
I got a taste this morning, but it was nothing like the first couple days. I've basically embraced the wds at this point. I mean I got to go through it, but I know I can make this experience more miserable by dwelling on how it sucks or getting too much in my head.

Anyone else going through or getting ready to kick benzos just remember the gabapentin is a helper and not an eraser. Similar to how kratom or sometthing like that can cushion your opiate wds.
Just remember to take the training wheels off the bike or your going to find yourself with a new habit. I've set my time limit, and I am already tapering.

Last thing I wanted to mention is I can feel my body is healing from the nasty side effects of xanax. My labs from the Doctor were the best they have been in years.
The xanax have given me all kinds of sides that that have been affecting my health.
For example, my body temperature was staying around 97.1 for over a year. I couldn't stay warm. My temp is back at 98.7 now and like I said my bloodwork is back normal.
I had became borderline anemic in the last year or so, too. Completely restored to normal in 3 weeks. That's crazy, man. I won't go on about the sides from using xanax or this post will be 5 times as long .
I will say I was reading some of the rare side effects of xanax dependency this morning, and I was wholly shocked by how many of these 'rare' side effects I have. I plan on making a thread here soon to discuss.

Should be interesting to say the least.
Thanks again to you and everyone else that has contributed in this thread.
I know I am just one addict in the sea of many but it sure has been nice to have the conversation/support!

 

[Bad Obsession]

yeah, H wd has a nasty little bite to it for a few days. Only good thing is acute part goes fairly quick all things considered. Very short half life and all that. Hopefully it will won't last too long being you just did a 5 day binger. All the best to you!

I had a little bit of the head rattle back this morning. I would say the psychosis is light now, tho. Mornings are just tough in general, but afternoons a lot more tolerable. I got out yesterday afternoon and mowed the yard.
I wore ear plugs to keep my head from buzzing afterwards. Being in the sun and doing something 'normal' helped my mental state a lot.

The gabapentin is helping me sleep, and I am immensely grateful. Somehow I subconsciously knew to get that gabapentin from my Dad years ago. Coincidence, fate, or divine intervention, I'm not really sure. Just happy to have nonetheless.

I went down to 200 mg today and still got the calming effect from it.
Like I said in post above, I am not naive in regards to these benzo wds. I know I am cushioning the wds with the gabapentin, and when I cut it out I am going to probably have a little head rattle/rebound for a bit.
I got a taste this morning, but it was nothing like the first couple days. I've basically embraced the wds at this point. I mean I got to go through it, but I know I can make this experience more miserable by dwelling on how it sucks or getting too much in my head.

Anyone else going through or getting ready to kick benzos just remember the gabapentin is a helper and not an eraser. Similar to how kratom or sometthing like that can cushion your opiate wds.
Just remember to take the training wheels off the bike or your going to find yourself with a new habit. I've set my time limit, and I am already tapering.

Last thing I wanted to mention is I can feel my body is healing from the nasty side effects of xanax. My labs from the Doctor were the best they have been in years.
The xanax have given me all kinds of sides that that have been affecting my health.
For example, my body temperature was staying around 97.1 for over a year. I couldn't stay warm. My temp is back at 98.7 now and like I said my bloodwork is back normal.
I had became borderline anemic in the last year or so, too. Completely restored to normal in 3 weeks. That's crazy, man. I won't go on about the sides from using xanax or this post will be 5 times as long .
I will say I was reading some of the rare side effects of xanax dependency this morning, and I was wholly shocked by how many of these 'rare' side effects I have. I plan on making a thread here soon to discuss.

Should be interesting to say the least.
Thanks again to you and everyone else that has contributed in this thread.
I know I am just one addict in the sea of many but it sure has been nice to have the conversation/support!

Something I try to avoid is looking up side effects or wd symptoms as it can trigger those symptoms that ya didn't have em originally I find. Glad ur feeling bit better today buddy, onwards & upwards I get the same frm any drug I'm tapering or wding off, the mornings always feel the worst. Like wding frm H I wake up with crazy anxiety first couple of days but it subsides a bit as the day goes on. Ended up doing a small bit of H there that I forgot I'd put aside frm the rest of it a wk ago (foggy drug brain lol) as was starting to wd & thought that knowing it was there I'd end up doing it at some stage thru the wd so better to do it on day 1 than say day 2, 3 or 4 & go right bk to beginning again. If hadn't had that I wouldn't have done any as my dealer txtd me this morn but I didn't go to score.... this was before I remembered about the small amount I had stashed so I'm in the right frame of mind to quit. I mean the small amount I took just took away the wd but I'm not swayed to go get any more to get high. Usually when I set my mind to something I do it but having that little bit right there & starting to feel like crap was just asking too much. I guess what I'm trying to say is I wouldn't have went outta my way to get a bit....

 

[OCD2DOC]

Something I try to avoid is looking up side effects or wd symptoms as it can trigger those symptoms that ya didn't have em originally I find. Glad ur feeling bit better today buddy, onwards & upwards

Searching for sides can definitely be problematic. Dr. Google always seems to lead back to something chronic or terminal and your mind can definitely play tricks on you.
I wish I could say the side effects I developed from taking xanax was all in my head, but the stuff I've been experiencing is most definitely not fiction.

On the positive side, I am feeling way better today comparably speaking, and it truly feels as if the healing process has begun.
Definitely not to my destination yet, but at least now I feel I'm headed in the right direction.

I've had a few small conditions improve in the last few weeks.
I won't list them all for the sake of brevity, but for one minor example my skin is back fully hydrated/oiled. I have never had an issue with dry skin/scalp. Pretty much total opposite as far back as I can remember. Xanax definitely screws with the endocrine system. I definitely have had Androgen deficiency, which thankfully seems to be fixing itself.

Still having typical anxiety in the A.M., but the psychosis has lessened tremendously.
I believe I am exiting the acute phase of benzo wd.
I tapered to 150 mg of gabapentin today. I didn't really feel any noticeable effects from that dosage, so if I probably hold there for a day or two and make one last cut to 50 before stepping off it.

But enough about the retarded suffering I brought upon myself

Ended up doing a small bit of H there that I forgot I'd put aside frm the rest of it a wk ago (foggy drug brain lol) as was starting to wd & thought that knowing it was there I'd end up doing it at some stage thru the wd so better to do it on day 1 than say day 2, 3 or 4 & go right bk to beginning again. If hadn't had that I wouldn't have done any as my dealer txtd me this morn but I didn't go to score.... this was before I remembered about the small amount I had stashed so I'm in the right frame of mind to quit.

That's no small feat. Usually once I've been strong enough to tell the pushy dope man no thanks I knew I was ready to quit. Even though you tell them you're done they always going to call to "make sure you ok/don't need anything".
Sucks when they do it a few hours into detox because that's when personally I am at my most vulnerable. If I make it a day or so I generally never wanted to waste that suffering.

I mean the small amount I took just took away the wd but I'm not swayed to go get any more to get high. Usually when I set my mind to something I do it but having that little bit right there & starting to feel like crap was just asking too much. I guess what I'm trying to say is I wouldn't have went outta my way to get a bit....

You seem very similar to me in that regards. Definitely a mind over matter thing.
Don't get me wrong, it's definitely not all mental, but usually if the mind is truly willing then the body will follow.

Good luck with both your detoxes. Tapering the benzos is definitely the way to go, and I don't believe you'll have much trouble with less than a week binger on the H.
I wouldn't take it too much further, tho. H wds tend to compound by the day and then it's generally worse after a couple weeks.
That's my experience anyways.

All the best and has been great chatting with you over the last week. I'm not sure if this thread ever ends up helping anyone else, but if nothing else it has for sure helped me.