Mental Health Coming off Invega (paliperidone) injections, v 5.0

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miserable1

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What do you guys do all day? I've been trying to have a more structured routine. Here's a typical day when I'm not working right now or nothing's going on..

- Wake up
- Do ab exercises/deep breathing
- Drink 2-3 glasses of warm or hot water or some tea
- Drink 1 glass of kombucha and smoke a cigarette
- Drink 1 cup of coffee
- Go tan in the backyard for 20 minutes
- Work out still fasted
- Eat small meal
- Take supplements
- Take natural testosterone powder drink
- Smoke a bit of weed at some point of the routine
- Check emails, forums, stuff like that
- Look for jobs online or for better ones, read the qualifications
- Do shadowboxing twice a day
- Go run errands if I need to or do any shopping
- Study software testing or programming
- Eat bigger meal
- Surf the internet and fuck around
- Think about my goals and how I want the next day to go
- Sit and meditate for 5 minutes or think about what I want the day to be like and what I will do
- Possibly go out somewhere
- Eat small meal so I can go to sleep
- Sleep
I go for long walks or use the compouter at the library looking at football (soccer) and videogames and stuff. I smashed my tv two months ago because I was angry with Invega so I am getting a new one next week, then I will start playing some videogames on my ps2 (pes 5 and age of empires) I might also win a bid on a laptop so I can start play games on that (championship manager, sim city 3000, nhl championship 2000 and warcraft 3:frozen throne). I am hoping that I will quit the internet and playing video games eventually and eat 3 times a day healthy food and go for walks. When I live like that I feel a little better. What do you mean by fuck around??
 

Dre87

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I go for long walks or use the compouter at the library looking at football (soccer) and videogames and stuff. I smashed my tv two months ago because I was angry with Invega so I am getting a new one next week, then I will start playing some videogames on my ps2 (pes 5 and age of empires) I might also win a bid on a laptop so I can start play games on that (championship manager, sim city 3000, nhl championship 2000 and warcraft 3:frozen throne). I am hoping that I will quit the internet and playing video games eventually and eat 3 times a day healthy food and go for walks. When I live like that I feel a little better. What do you mean by fuck around??
Just surf the internet and go on Youtube and Facebook and stuff, I was playing a bit of Diablo 3 before too, some GTA 5 before that. I used to play Age of Empires but that's old school.
 

Dre87

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I think a great way to get in shape is to take up something like boxing, then now with all you're workouts you're actually training for something that will help you in real life, now everything becomes almost like an epic quest to win, to show them who the fuck you are, for payback..at the end of Rocky 4 the Russians were shouting at the end with a Russian accent, 'Rrrrrocky!!' ha..not that you should go around starting fights with people or anything like that, especially with the legal consequences.
 

Dre87

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The only other life of value would be the life of a monk or a great scientist or something like Nikola Tesla who's mostly isolated his whole life..
 

UnluckyXeplion

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Just surf the internet and go on Youtube and Facebook and stuff, I was playing a bit of Diablo 3 before too, some GTA 5 before that. I used to play Age of Empires but that's old school.
It's so sad that video games don't feel the same anymore. It's like I lost patience to sit and play, for games that I used to love and could play all day.
 

miserable1

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As a man you've got to get fighting, talking to chicks, and making money handled or your life will just really suck..
Cant really do much excercise since I dont have any endorphines but going for walks helps sometimes. I feel completely horrible when i play videogames for some reason my back gives in an dmy knees starts to hurt and evntually my teeth and then my heart, but thats when i have been playing for like 50 hours in 4 days or so. I played video games alot when I was younger but hadnt done that in like 10 years before I got the Invega This summer I was walking for like 5 to 8 hours every day it really sucked. The age of empires I sometimes play is on the ps2 and remade by Konami and is much better then the pc version. I am longing all the time to be able to go for runs and go to the gym. Your body is the most important thing you have.
 

Dre87

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I've done some more traditional martial arts in the past, but I read Mike Tyson's autobiography and he lived a crazy life. He was a street kid then this old white man Cus D'Amato took him under his wing and became his boxing trainer, their goal was to get him to be world champion, to fight like gladiators. He would also do hypnosis on him or NLP, telling him that he's going to be the greatest, that the road to world champion was like a war that they were fighting together, I don't know I thought that was kind of cool. Motivating to start training. Speaking of that, during my last stay in the facility my psychiatric nurse practitioner was a lesbian with short hair, and he says she boxed her whole life, but she was still kind of hot, looked a bit like Winona Ryder..but she was the enemy, and was a total bitch who tried to force me on injections..and she weighs like 120 pounds..So yeah.

"Hope is a dangerous thing for a guy like me, you give me a bit of hope, and I'll take that shit to the moon." - Mike Tyson
 
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OLDTIDEN

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I had a very interesting dream last night and I also think dreams are casting from the Eternal Realm.
 

t_xeplionhell

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Okay room, time for the 5th month off (156 days) update. Man I can't believe this nightmare began 6 months ago already. Compared to the first few months it feels like time is finally starting to flow almost at normal speeds now

Started doing martial arts again like two weeks ago. My knees are trash (due to injuries I've been dealing with since way before xeplion) so the training isn't going as well as I wanted but it's a good way to pass the time and keep my mind on a task

-Anhedonia is finally starting to give me some brief of moments where I can catch a break and enjoy small activities for a bit. These moments are usually alternated with ones where I still feel mentally devastated (not that different from month 1-2) and need to rest after that

-Emotionally still flat, though a bit less than last month. One of my favourite bands dropped a new album and it was nice listening to it. The feeling didn't last very long but just being able to experience it seems like a sign of good things to come. Negative feelings seem completely back though, when I get upset at things I can totally feel it in my nuts

-It's getting progressively easier to read books and watch TV. I can finally make sense out of the things I watch even if it's still not even close to full recovery. Like the things above it's nice to see even a little bit of progress

-Still walking 1 hour every day on top of going to the gym twice a week. I'm thinking of buying a bicycle to mantain a little sense of novelty when I go outside (A bicycle would allow me to travel further during 1 hour which lets me see different places while also burning a few extra calories compared to walking)

-Sexual functions starting to come back a little further than before. I actually have some sort of libido now (though it's still relatively weak and alternated with days of complete lack of interest)

-Dropped the melatonin pills almost completely while also taking less supplements overall: the main ones I still take are NALT in the morning, Vitamins throughout the day and like 2mg Valerian before sleep

-Sleep has been decent except for a few days where my neighbours were being extremely noisy which didn't allow me to sleep (while also making me feel some *strong* bursts of anger and hatred)

That's about it for this month I guess, I think I can see a light at the end of this but it could easily have been just a really long window phase that started last week
If you try to remember more how time flowed before invega, you will most likely see it flowed at least x2 faster than currently, but at beginning perception of time flow is so slow (up to x100+ slower than normaly) that it is unbearable so x2-3 is easy to handle comparing to that.
 

miserable1

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It's disappointing that the drug still has not been removed from the market. The issue here is that it's a psychiatric drug, and the people who are injected and complain don't have much of a voice because they are "mentally ill".

If a few doctors volunteered to take the shot, it would be removed from ever being administered again. It's unfortunate that it won't happen though. Our complaints and suffering are seen as other forms of mental illness, when in fact our problems are caused by the long term side effects from the poison given to us. Can it get any worse? This drug should never have been approved to treat anything, given that it's hurting so many of us.
Yeah I also agree with that. I get the impression that the nurses who I have to go and see and the doctor thinks I was the way I am now before Invega. Its very frustrating and degrading they have no idea.
 

EsseWasGreat

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One fun fact I want to share:

Three months ago I visited a psych who told me that there is no place in which they can test me for paliperidone in my blood. She explicitly said that in order to get a test done I would have to go all the way to Milan (which is like 12 hours of driving from where I live) to an extremely specialized center and even then they *only* test you if your liver has completely stopped functioning since I was *already* 2.5 months off at the time. Said exam would have also costed a ton of money.


*Yesterday* I talked to a new therapist who works closely with my psych. She told me that if I wanted I could easily ask for a paliperidone test anytime, anywhere, for free, just like they can test every other substance in existence. Hell she even told me that they might have forced one on me if they suspected I wasn't taking pills or something (good thing I don't have to take any to begin with)

It makes me wonder which of the two is blatantly lying (I suspect the former because it makes less sense to me) and what do they have to gain from saying such a thing but it does indeed confirm me that something fishy is going on with psychiatry/pharma bullshit at least in my country


Oh yeah, the first psych also denied that Xeplion could have had any effects on me after 2 months while the therapist admitted that Xeplion *is* very impactful when you take the shots and can last for months (though she also claimed that after 5 months its effects should be basically gone). It feels almost like there are indeed *some* people in the industry who purposely want you to stay ill or something
 
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MatteM92

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One fun fact I want to share:

Three months ago I visited a psych who told me that there is no place in which they can test me for paliperidone in my blood. She explicitly said that for getting a test done I would have to go all the way to Milan (which is like 12 hours of driving from where I live) to an extremely specialized center and even then they *only* test you if your liver has completely stopped functioning since I was *already* 2.5 months off at the time. Said exam would have also costed a ton of money.


*Ieri* ho parlato con un nuovo terapeuta che lavora a stretto contatto con la mia psiche. Mi ha detto che se volevo potevo facilmente chiedere un test del paliperidone sempre e ovunque, gratuitamente, proprio come possono testare ogni altra sostanza esistente. Diavolo, mi ha anche detto che avrebbero potuto costringermene uno se sospettavano che non stessi prendendo pillole o qualcosa del genere (buona cosa che non devo prenderne per cominciare)

Mi chiedo quale dei due stia mentendo palesemente (sospetto il primo perché per me ha meno senso) e cosa hanno da guadagnare dal dire una cosa del genere, ma in effetti mi conferma che qualcosa di sospetto sta succedendo con la psichiatria /cazzate farmaceutiche almeno nel mio paese


Oh sì, il primo psicologo ha anche negato che Xeplion avrebbe potuto avere effetti su di me dopo 2 mesi, mentre il terapeuta ha ammesso che Xeplion *ha* un grande impatto quando fai le iniezioni e può durare per mesi (anche se ha anche affermato che dopo 5 mesi i suoi effetti dovrebbero essere praticamente spariti). Sembra quasi che ci siano davvero *alcune* persone nel settore che vogliono intenzionalmente che tu rimanga malato o qualcosa del genere
Sei anche te italiano?
 

Troubil

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Just surf the internet and go on Youtube and Facebook and stuff, I was playing a bit of Diablo 3 before too, some GTA 5 before that. I used to play Age of Empires but that's old school.
I have been exercising and studying this last few weeks. Now I have very strong desire to start my own business, maybe a few businesses. This is how I was thinking before I got put on antipsychotics in March 21. Ideally would love a part time job and start my own business. I'm having alot of insomnia though. I refuse to take any more medication from pharmaceutical companies though.
 
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