First - I will admit that I went a bit off the walls on my last post. I hadn't had a taste of MXE since January 2014 until a few weeks ago........Plus with MXM appearing and seeming interesting, I decided to see what was going on with my fellow MXE heads out there in the Universe. Here's a little background - maybe it will help you understand why I'm so thankful that this Compound came into existence....
I will openly admit, MXE is Addictive in ONE way - It's goddamn mother fucking FUN as shit. Even if you're super tolerant to Dissociatives, which I am from multiple 30-40+ day DXM Binges in my past - you will still notice a 10-15mg bump in the morning and be in a great mood all day and beyond even. If you stay hydrated, you will have a nice afterglow for days, sometimes even weeks after your MXE travels. I actually wake up feeling happy sometimes. It gives me the self confidence that I never learned to do the things I've always wanted to do, but was too scared to do. Used in a controlled, clinical setting - not just MXE chaos like how I like it - this compound could give people a new perspective on life and themselves. MXE taught me to value myself, and to be proud of who I am. I feel as if this drug has taught me so many lessons - it would take pages to post about. I have a STACK of full notebooks of writings, poems, rhymes, drawings, art, paintings - all varieties of self expression that I was too scared to try. I don't need MXE to do these things that I always wanted to do anymore. I do them because I gradually gained confidence in myself and my abilities and I now get to do what I always wanted to in life, but was too scared to do. I genuinely believe that using MXE - along with some form of Opiate Replacement, and Therapy - There is TRUE Potential to change lives. It changed mine.
I've had a very dark life. I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness from birth and forced to be a part of their beliefs, teachings, and religion until I was old enough to move out of my Parents home at 18-19. I was not allowed to associate with anyone who was not a Jehovah's Witness - and to my luck, there were no kids close in age and interests - so I literally spent the first 12-13 years of my life alone. At school, every year, I had to tell my Teacher and any Student who tried to interact with me that I was not allowed to talk to them unless it was required. I never celebrated Christmas, My Birthday, Halloween - No Holidays, Nothing. I grew up inside of a bubble created by my Parents.
Dissociatives and Psychedelics were my Mental Learning Curve on the Reality of the Current Human State. I literally felt like Jim Carrey in "The Truman Show" if you've ever watched that movie. My parents told me when I was 8 years old that I would never have to worry about getting a job, or having a career - don't listen to what they teach in school, the Bible is all that matters because we're in the End Of Day's and God is going to come and Destroy All of the Evil People who don't worship Jehovah by the time I'd be old enough to get a Job, or learn what life really is about. I believed until the age of 20 that every day could be the end of the world. I would frequently wake up in the middle of the night with full blown Panic Attacks thinking I was dying or being punished by God for leaving the Religion. The way I was taught to live and look at life fucked me up so bad when I came out of my bubble and into the harsh reality of daily life, that it was too much for me to deal with.
I couldn't believe how evil human beings were to each other. I was lost without a clue what life really was - all I knew was that I hated being Alive because the Reality of the REAL world was too much for me to handle. After being Used, Abused, and Thrown away like trash by multiple "friends" and an early 20's ex-wife - I became addicted to Heroin - and not in the normal way where someone offers it to you and you try it, or you're around people who are doing it. I fucking new that H was supposed to take all the pain of life away and I sought that shit out. I was addicted to Heroin for 3-4 years, got clean, got in a car accident during a relapse, fractured 2 vertebrae in my spine right where they attach to your tailbone......and got put on 40mgs of Oxycontin daily after being clean for 6 months to a year.
Ran out of doctors willing to prescribe to me because I smoked weed. Went back to Heroin for another year +. I finally got myself somewhat together via getting into an Addiction Treatment Program and starting on Suboxone, after 6 months I switched to Subutex due to an allergy to the Naloxone. I absolutely HATE Buperenorphine. It makes me so fucking depressed all the time, even worse than my Depression prior to ever using a drug. MXE is the only thing that periodically helps make my life liveable and sometimes enjoyable. Ketamine has helped in the past when I had access, but it's just not as functional as MXE or as long acting. I am currently down to 2mgs of Bupe daily after starting at 24mgs daily. I'm also prescribed 30mgs of Diazepam and 1mg of Alprazolam daily. I don't even need to take any Benzo's when I'm using MXE - I feel like the Man that I've always wished I was capable of being. It gave me a 2nd chance at life and helped me hack into parts of my brain that needed repairing via being able to get over past events that had caused me great pain by analyzing them from a different perspective - a perspective where i felt safe to dive deep into my own inner thoughts. It has helped me more than LSD or DMT, which I have explored both equally. MXE is something special - to be respected, although it is hard at times - but it teaches an Addict the art of Self Restraint. It was exactly what I needed.
MXE teaches Opiate Addicts the Lessons they need to learn to not only quit using Opiates - but to be disgusted by them. Being around Heroin, or people sniffing Perk 30's and shit makes my skin crawl after years of using MXE.
I have literally taught my Brain to be disgusted by Heroin. Opiates are the most Negative Energy on this Planet - they Ruin Lives, and very few people even realize what they're getting themselves into until it's way too late. MXE is the most Positive Drug that I've ever done, it combats all of the negativity that years of Opiate Abuse created.
I'm writing this so you can understand why I appreciate MXE for what it's done for me. The time I've spent on MXE - over the past 3 going on 4 years now has been the best years of my life. I've learned more about myself, life, the true nature of reality - things I may have never learned had I never walked this path.
My previous post was made because I feel a connection to this compound because of the help it has offered me. I've had my crazy moments....Yes, I did used to just go in the B & D thread and bullshit and type out freestyle rhymes. I also could offer a vast amount of information about this compound to the right person who wanted to know what long term effects, negatives and positives....etc it can have in your life. It would make me a very happy Man if even one other person on this planet was helped by this compound the way that I was. It just came out in a grumpy, over the top way because the OP just seemed like an uneducated, inexperienced person, talking about something they had not fully or truly explored and really, had no understanding of. Sorry for the long post - but I wanted to put this out there for other people to stumble across and possibly give them some hope - not even that MXE is a Solution to Anything - just that there is HOPE to get clean off Heroin and Opiates in general one day. My intent was positive, even tho it came off as a rant. PEACE - Mr. Meowfish
It's fine that you choose to go without pain meds, I get it, you're so badass. Fact is that they are created so that you don't need to feel pain, you can meditate all you want but you will still feel pain. I bet you under go surgery without anesthetics because you don't believe in them. Good on you. Why should I have to justify taking the easy way? I don't. Meds work for me, so I take them. That's that.
