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Stimulants Daily oral Meth usage

Candyland52

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 25, 2021
Messages
6
I have a question at the end of this, and everything written here is summarized at the ### if you don't feel like reading.

I am an ex Meth addict. I kicked it about 4 years ago and had not touched it since last week.

Very briefly the reason why I went out and bought myself a ball was because of multiple suicide attempts, and was on the verge of trying again.

I had been thinking about it (Meth) for a while but my GF an ex addict herself both Meth and Heroin was strongly against it. I do not remember even once being suicidal or depressed when I was on Meth even though I nearly lost my life figuratively and literally multiple times while on it. I never wanted to just lay down and give up.

So with the reasoning behind why I have gone back to it out of the way (I was considering suicide and figured if I was going to be dead soon I may as well try).

It has been about 2 and a half weeks since I bought the 4g and I have taken some measures to ensure I will not abuse it, and it will cause as little damage to me as I can manage.

I bought size "0" capsules and placed 0.05g into the capsules, and filled the the rest with dual extract lions mane from fruiting body. Lion's Mane, if you don't know, is supposed to help with cognitive function and nerve growth. So I am using it in the hopes that it will at least slightly negate the brain damaging effects of meth.

I also did the same, but with 0.025g of meth for extra boosts or lower doses if needed.

I ensure I don't dose at least 5 hours before bed on the 0.025g which I added in after not sleeping the first night. Also if I don't sleep I take a break and suffer the next day exhausted. But better that than not sleep and start "tweeking" which generally happens to me after about 2 days of no sleep + meth intake.

Finally I keep a refillable bottle of water and deoderant with me at all times, as I found I start stinking real quick especially if im sweating and have not been drinking water.

As I said I have been on this regime for about 2 and a half weeks now and I have unfortunately had some negative side effects already.

First off I already have an eating disorder (I think not diagnosed) because I struggle to eat food normally. But with this I have lost quite a bit of weight already, and it was mostly muscle judging from how much weaker I feel. I have almost no fat so the instant I don't eat for a day or 2 my body just starts eating my muscles I think.... i have been trying to forcefeed myself, but everything I eat is just tasteless and dry.

I have started breaking out in zits like crazy and I had to shave the hair under my lower lip because the skin was drying up and getting scabs. It seems to be getting better now that I shaved the hair from that area though.

The first 2 days my sexual drive was absolutely insane. Which slowly fell off after a couple days, to now. Which is absolutely 0 sexual drive. I don't know if this is due to how busy ive been since I started that I don't feel like I have time for sex or what, but thats that.

Positives are the obvious. I am no longer putting things off and I am getting so much done every day. It's insane how much I have achieved in these past 2 weeks especially if you compare it to the last 2 years.

My extreme suicidal depression, which has caused me to be locked up involuntarily, and had me thinking about suicide from the moment I woke up, till I went to bed every night, and was basically crippling me, and making it impossible to "live", basically dissipated overnight. I remember specifically on the second day, I had a moment that would have normally involuntarily caused me to repeatedly tell myself "I just need to die, I just need to die, I just need to kill myself." Instead my mind involuntarily just said "it's ok, everything is going to be ok". It blew my mind.

Finally to summarize and also ask the questions.

###I have begun taking meth pills I made for myself with lionsmane. The reason is stated above.

I have begun breaking out in zits. I can never drink enough water, and I stink. I had some dry skin and scabbing under my bottom lip and had shave away the hair to let it heal. I have 0 sex drive. I am struggling to eat.###

Is there anything I can do to stop or at least negate these negative effects?

Is there anything I should be looking out for with swallowing rather than smoking? (I used to smoke)

If there are any alternatives which people know of. What are they?

Thank you for any time you take to respond to this post. I greatly appreciate it.



Thanks.
 
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Candyland52

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 25, 2021
Messages
6
Just want to add that as a rule I will not take more than 2 doses of 0.025 and no more than one dose of 0.05. I have not had any reason for an emergency siuation but if one arises then no more than 3 0.025 or 1 0.05 and 1 0.025. I am very honest with my GF. I tell her everything and she is happy to help me keep in check. If i break any rules she knows where I keep everything and will throw it out if I go over my limit at any point. I am determined not to let this spiral out of control. I am ready to go through withdrawals again if I see that I am losing control.
 
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Candyland52

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 25, 2021
Messages
6
I drink meal replacement shakes to help combat the weight loss. I just buy the Boost high protein ones by the case at Walmart. I also drink lots of Vita Coco coconut water because it has electrolytes in it. Once we get dehydrated our bodies need those to effectively process the water that we drink.
I was thinking maybe I am lacking something in my water. Because I can never seem to drink enough. The meal shakes is genius. Thank you so much.
 

Keif' Richards

Moderator: BDD, OD, NSADD
Staff member
Joined
Aug 4, 2010
Messages
6,477
Location
Lowell/Charlestown, Massachusetts
I think @LiftedCrystal probably has some of the best and also most basic advice you could ask for. You need food and you need nutrients and it's much easier to drink that stuff in a shake. I understand that you're not really taking huge amounts of Methamphetamine here, but it still sounds like you're suffering from some of those tell-tale signs of usage. I'm not really sure what all of that means, but when I hear that you're breaking out and experiencing significant skin issues like the ones mentioned on your face, I suspect you're falling victim to overusage.

Stuff out there right now is incredibly potent. I say this all the time, but Methamphetamine was not ever a part of my drug usage. When I was in Cambodia, I took a lot of those Yaa Baa's, but even those were not the same nor even in the realm of effects produced by some of the Meth I've experienced in the United States. We just didn't have it in New England or at least in Boston. It was used by the gay crowd and everyone knew about that, but it was relatively enclosed within that population.

It's just incredibly potent. I took a lot of Adderall (Amphetamine) in High School and college. Sometimes, I would use quite a bit, say 200mg Amphetamine in a couple of days and I would say that Meth is still in a different realm. I always held a view that the drugs were essentially analogous, but I now have a feeling that Methamphetamine or, whatever it is all over America's streets, is actually "different" in ways beyond potency.

I really hate Meth. I love people who use it like I do everyone, but I hate the drug. I've known a lot of junkies over the years and we always had hope that "shit could get better". I see more and more people now just getting spun to death in such a short period of time it makes me very sad.
 

Candyland52

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 25, 2021
Messages
6

Stuff out there right now is incredibly potent. I say this all the time, but Methamphetamine was not ever a part of my drug usage. When I was in Cambodia, I took a lot of those Yaa Baa's, but even those were not the same nor even in the realm of effects produced by some of the Meth I've experienced in the United States. We just didn't have it in New England or at least
I really hate Meth. I love people who use it like I do everyone, but I hate the drug. I've known a lot of junkies over the years and we always had hope that "shit could get better". I see more and more people now just getting spun to death in such a short period of time it makes me very sad.
I never really tried anything else before meth so I never really thought of it in terms of potency. I tried to make sure that what I was buying was as clean as possible because I knew I was going to be swallowing it. But once again I didn't really think in terms of potency.... something to consider.

As for your views on meth. I also feel the same way. I hate the stuff and have seen so many people get completely spun out on it and just fall apart. I remember specifically, for me at least, it slowly took away my sense of right and wrong. Things I normally wouldn't ever have done were almost like second nature after 6 months, and after a year I was in some fucked up downward spiral where there really was no limit to the fucked up I could do.

This was a choice I made knowing how bad it can be. Hopefully I will be able to notice the signs if I do start to go down that route.

At the end of the day, this was my last option. I had to try something, so far it has helped me massively. If anything, the break from my suicidal depression may help me to get a grip on life again. Then again withdrawals if I try and quit may just throw me right back into it again. At least I can't end up worse than I was before I started, because I was about to try and off myself again. I can't really go lower than dead...

Ill check out what you recommended. Hopefully I can find the info I need there to stay on top of this. Thanks for the reply. I think I was getting too much into a honeymoon phase with it and was forgetting to look at how bad this can get. It is good to remember that while this is helping me there is always the other side of it.
 
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Pickledlemons

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 4, 2017
Messages
1,520
Location
BC, Canada
May I suggest dextroamphetamine as a replacement for meth if you are thinking about daily use? It is a much more maintainable drug with similar effects. I personally have never seen routine meth use end well whereas I have with dex-amp. You can also buy it on the dark net for super cheap. you could buy a year supply for the price of a couple fancy dinners out. Its easier to sleep, easier to eat, and your grip on reality is not nearly as challenged as it is with meth. Think about it.
 
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0.o_LaCuNa_o.0

Moderator: P&S
Staff member
Joined
Sep 14, 2021
Messages
618
You're trying out the microdosing route of Meth. That's a noble thing to do interms of your health.

I think your problem with zits would be dramatically improved if you ate properly & hydrated yourself more. As stated above, you can consume protein smoothies for their calories and much needed protein. Also look into buying a Greens Superfoods Supplement, they're cheap and(as the name implies) are packed with loads of nutrient and vitamin dense Superfoods. I honestly couldn't recommend these Greens Supplements enough - they're that friggin good for your health! Lastly if you can't stand the taste of alot of water go for flavored water or juices. You can always dilute the juice if you're worried about the sugar content.

Anyways, report back to us and let us know how things are working out. GoodLuck ✌🏽
 

Candyland52

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 25, 2021
Messages
6
You're trying out the microdosing route of Meth. That's a noble thing to do interms of your health.

I think your problem with zits would be dramatically improved if you ate properly & hydrated yourself more. As stated above, you can consume protein smoothies for their calories and much needed protein. Also look into buying a Greens Superfoods Supplement, they're cheap and(as the name implies) are packed with loads of nutrient and vitamin dense Superfoods. I honestly couldn't recommend these Greens Supplements enough - they're that friggin good for your health! Lastly if you can't stand the taste of alot of water go for flavored water or juices. You can always dilute the juice if you're worried about the sugar content.

Anyways, report back to us and let us know how things are working out. GoodLuck ✌🏽
Thanks for the suggestions ill check out the superfood supplement for sure. I actually have a britta filter so I don't mind the water. But after a while no matter how much I drink it's like my body just stops absorbing it. After seeing the mention from "@LiftedCrystal" about electrolytes. I had a gatorade laying around and drank it. And it was like a full reset and I was actually absorbing water again. Not really a fan of gatorades but at least now I know what i'm lacking in that regard.

I do plan on doing an update after a few more weeks to sort of log how it's going for anyone curious. But it wont be daily usage. I actually been on a break since wednesday, because my sleep schedule was getting completely screwed. Was so tired I could barely finction and my depression crept back in real quick. So not ideal. Anyway I went and got some Zzzquil and melatonin. Hopefully I can get back on schedule, and can resume again. Just a process of eliminating problems. On the plus side I did eat almost non stop. And actually gained some weight.

Anyway thanks again for the response. And goodluck yourself. 🙂
 

albatross

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 1, 2012
Messages
183
Sorry I'm not gonna read the whole post. I will say that I was experimenting for a 6 month period with using oral MethAmphetamine daily. At first, doses were about 20-25mg once a day. That increased to 30-50mg once a day due to there coming a time when it literally did nothing more than coffee. Again, after two months that had to be upped to 60-80mg. At that point I said fuck this, and hoped to taper down with Adderall.

I was suprised when I popped 20mg tablets over and over again, reaching 160mg in one day of Adderall IR and having absolutely no pep in my step.

I kept hydrated and well nourished and still began experiencing insomnia, anxiety, depression, and weakness during this 6 month period.

The odds of controlling your usage after a period of time is not good. Could be days, maybe years, but it will go downhill.
 

Candyland52

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 25, 2021
Messages
6
Basically. If my tolerance goes up. I have someone who will very gladly throw out my stash if I overdo it. I have never lied to her before. I wont now. It could still go wrong. I know meth changed my view on good and bad before. It is a matter of time.

I will post back here in a couple weeks to let yall know how it's going.

Thanks for keeping it real.

The more bad shit I read the more I make sure I have fail safes.... could still go wrong. But I have confidence in my ability to stop, or be stopped.

Hope you're doing better now by the way.

Good luck out there.

Also I edited this because for some reason I was thinkin 20g in a pill not 20mg. I was like holy shit dude how are you still alive?
 
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