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everyone is bisexual

Re: was thinking and discussing this with friends.....

EsourceR said:
......so I was thinking .... when I was younger, say 15-19 I fell in love with a couple of people that I never became intimate with. Would the meaning bisexual pertain to intimacy, (relations such as sex, foreplay, ect) only? How about if it were only intimate and deep thoughts, but never evolved into more? Would that classify a person mentally bisexual? I hate catagorizing but, it's a curiosity. Wondering if you can really be bisexual without having ever been with someone of the same gender ...or perhaps no one at all ...yet still being attracted and unbiased towards them ...based on love and not the ability to fuck them.

Bodies didn't have genders when I wasn't knowledgable enough to know what sex was really about. I only recognized later in life that I was in love...that there was a deep attraction for someone, but I didn't know that because they were a man or a woman. Surely I wasn't the only one who adored members of both sexes without preoccupying thoughts of sexual acts. Any thoughts?
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The key to remember is the "sexual" part. Mental, emotional does not automatically imply a sexual component. Sexual attraction (as in sexual arousal and feeling compelled to share a sexual experience) is required for the label to apply. Be it bi, hetro, or homo.

This is also the case in the ability to appreciate the "attractiveness" of someone of either sex. You can be hetrosexual, and still appreciate the attractiveness of someone of your own sex. And likewise, you can be homosexual and appreciate the attractiveness of someone of the opposite sex. But it only becomes sexual when that appreciation invokes a sexual response, and the emotional excitement of a desire for a shared sexual experience with that person.
 
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Invalid Usename said:
I wonder how many caught the implications of that. :D


Regarding the thread:

I do not think that everyone is bisexual. Biological systems just aren't like components produced on an assembly line, where each one is exactly the same as the next.

And to state that everyone is bisexual implies that those who are not are somehow denying their "bisexual heritage." Or suggests that sexual orientation is decided, and that people elect to be hetrosexual or homosexual (which is equally false).

Some people are bisexual, while others are monosexual (either straight monosexuals or gay monosexuals).

But to say that everyone is "X" implies a denial by those who do not exhibit the qualities of "X." And makes about as much sense as claiming that everyone is a racist, and that those who do not hold those views are in denial. It is an absurd statement whcih reeks of an attempt at self justification.
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We all have different sides to us. In any given situation, one of us could become gay or straight. This potential to become either or the other is what makes us both at the same time--therefore bisexual.
 
Potentially we could all lose interest in each other full stop - so does that make us all asexual ?
 
uTranceMe said:
Potentially we could all lose interest in each other full stop - so does that make us all asexual ?
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Think about your assertion for a moment: we are a species that is somewhere between 60 ~ 80 thousand years old. If your "potential" were ever actualized, the species would end right there. But here we are today.

And given that we are still here, and that there has never one an instance where "we all" lost interest, I would say that your suggested "potential" falls flat on its face. 8(
 
Kandy K said:
We all have different sides to us. In any given situation, one of us could become gay or straight. This potential to become either or the other is what makes us both at the same time--therefore bisexual.
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Kandy, being 52 years old and having a desire to openly explore my sexuality through out my life, I "would have/should have" encountered at some point the desire to share a sexual experience with another male.

Yet, to me, the notion of having sex will a male (any male) is about as attractive as an empty bottle of beer. But the opposite is true of my friends who are gay.

Sexual orientation is not a philosophical state of mind, it is completely biological and is outside of our control.

As a gay friend of mine so beautifully put it in describing his gayness:

"All the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn't turn me into a breeder. Nope! No matter when."

:D
 
Yeah thats the problem with potential. Obviously what I said is never going to happen , I was trying to offer a different viewpoint to Kandy K's theory. Funny how a lot of people on forums beleive their own opinion to be the only "true" one.
 
Invalid Usename said:
Kandy, being 52 years old and having a desire to openly explore my sexuality through out my life, I "would have/should have" encountered at some point the desire to share a sexual experience with another male.

Yet, to me, the notion of having sex will a male (any male) is about as attractive as an empty bottle of beer. But the opposite is true of my friends who are gay.

Sexual orientation is not a philosophical state of mind, it is completely biological and is outside of our control.

As a gay friend of mine so beautifully put it in describing his gayness:

"All the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn't turn me into a breeder. Nope! No matter when."

:D
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But maybe your repulsion for homosexual relations is because you have grown up in a society that rejected them for so long? You say you are in your 50's, you are about as old as my father. This would mean you were born in the 50's... I was born in the 80's, and I used to be a lesbian, I was born that way. I remember distinctly being attracted to women at a very young age. But because of societal structures, my attraction for this sex has changed, and now I am 100% straight. But who knows, maybe it isn't society, it could also have been hormonal changes that I experienced during puberty that changed me. But overall I'd say other factors dictate the sex you are attracted to, amongst other things, such as the music you like, your political preference, etc.

What does it mean to be gay?
 
uTranceMe said:
Yeah thats the problem with potential. Obviously what I said is never going to happen , I was trying to offer a different viewpoint to Kandy K's theory. Funny how a lot of people on forums beleive their own opinion to be the only "true" one.
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Don't you mean everybody, not just people in forums, including you?
 
^yeah, when we all know that *I* am the only one with correct theories and beliefs in here;)
 
At times yes . in this instance no.

"Sexual orientation is not a philosophical state of mind, it is completely biological and is outside of our control."

There you have it. No more correspondance will be taken into. Thank you for your time.
 
sigh....even if I tend to abhorr most generalizations, this quote is quite poignant dont u think? and a bit true....

All men are homosexual, some turn straight. It must be very odd to be a straight man because your sexuality is hopelessly defensive. It's like an ideal of racial purity.
Derek Jarman 1942-, British Filmmaker, Artist, Author
 
It just occured to me that the existence of gay men is the best way to disprove the "all men are bisexual" theory.

See, the theory seems to have some superficial appeal when you look at heterosexual men. Then you can say, "Oh, some of you heterosexual men are have sex with men, too. You say you are bisexual? Bicurious? Hmmm... Hey, maybe ALL men are bisexual, but most never act on it because our culture is so homophobic!! Maybe without these cultural hang ups, all men would be free to admit their sexual desire for men as well as women!"

Ah, but this "cultural hang up" theory does not explain why gay men do not spend half their time fucking women! If all men were bisexual, this would include gay men. And there is no big "cultural hang up" to blame for why gay men aren't out there fucking women half the time, or at least some of the time. No, the very fact that so many gay men happily avoid any sexual relations with women seems to effectively disprove the "all men are bisexual" theory.

Of course, I already had reason to doubt that theory (see my prior post).

~psychoblast~
 
Sorry didnt mean to be cryptic.. I think it will go over euphorics head. That better ?
 
Good point pschoblast. I just think you cant generalise , ever. Were all different and unique in our own ways.(generally speaking , haha). Who gives a shit anyway ? As long as its consensual and your not hurting kids or animals , whats the problem ?
 
Kandy K said:
But maybe your repulsion for homosexual relations is because you have grown up in a society that rejected them for so long? You say you are in your 50's, you are about as old as my father. This would mean you were born in the 50's... I was born in the 80's, and I used to be a lesbian, I was born that way. I remember distinctly being attracted to women at a very young age. But because of societal structures, my attraction for this sex has changed, and now I am 100% straight. But who knows, maybe it isn't society, it could also have been hormonal changes that I experienced during puberty that changed me. But overall I'd say other factors dictate the sex you are attracted to, amongst other things, such as the music you like, your political preference, etc.

What does it mean to be gay?
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Where did I say that I had a "repulsion for homosexual relations?" Isn't that a bit of a stereotype to suggest that hetrosexual means homo-repulsive? :\

I've even once been the only straight roommate in an otherwise all gay household ("parties" and all). Just because I have absolutely no sexual attraction to another male, doesn't imply that it is the result of "repulsion."

I don't find animals sexually attractive, either. But I'm not repulsived by them. 8(

Face it, a percentage of both the homosexual and hetrosexual population are monosexuals (not bisexuals).


uTranceMe said:
At times yes . in this instance no.

"Sexual orientation is not a philosophical state of mind, it is completely biological and is outside of our control."


There you have it. No more correspondance will be taken into. Thank you for your time.
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OK.. OK.... Cop a stupid attitude. :D

There is a basis in neuroscience which supports what I am saying.

And if you are right (since you're "offended" by my making such statements), then you are giving credience to every Gender Hitler look-alike who claims that homosexuality can be "cured."

My, what a slippery slope concluding that sexual orientation is programmable can be. =D
 
Im not offended mate honestly , Im a fence sitter in this debate. I just believe we are all different. Im also a pot stirrer.
 
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