Excuse for Failing Grades

Is it possible to have a form of ADHD/ADD without being the typical "hyperactive kid" stereotype?


Through 7th grade - 10th grade, I took straight F's in every class because I could not pay attention. I would daydream & couldn't snap out of it.
I repeated 8th grade twice. Some times I participated in science & art cause I actually liked those subjects.
Eventually I got my license & then dropped out altogether.
I taught myself basic pharmacology over the years, so it's not because I'm "stupid".
If it's a topic I'm passionate about or interested in, I can somewhat get into it & learn & retain information.
But if it's a topic I don't care for (which is many when it comes to academics), it's just almost impossible for me to retain it.
I can read a couple pages of a book & then immediately forget anything and everything I just read.
Psychiatric testing showed I had a pretty high IQ for some one who didn't even finish highschool.

This inability to concentrate has carried over heavily into adulthood, but I've never been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD or anything.
And I wasn't the typical "can't sit still" type of teenager. I was actually pretty damn slow in my reaction time & what not.
Of course, trying as an adult to get some one to look into whether or not you have an attention problem is going to look like drug seeking. Especially with "addiction" on my record.
 
My nephew has always had various moderate developmental disabilities; like he didn't sit up until 18 months; always been a trial for him and his mother, my sister, dealing with his various problems; mostly learning disabilities.
He always struggled in whatever school he was enrolled in, and no matter what, he was reluctant to do his academic work. His step-dad was French, they despised each other, and the kid never learned any french while his sister became fluent. People thought he was just hopeless, stupid. He graduated high school but barely. He wouldn't have, except finally he found an interest that was his and not force fed to him. theater; he was great at memorizing lines and such; but never could remember anything from doing his homework or studying whatever subject he wasn't interested in.

He was diagnosed and medicated for ADD, but specifically, hyperactivity was not part of his diagnosis.
 
lolis my thesis said:
My nephew has always had various moderate developmental disabilities; like he didn't sit up until 18 months; always been a trial for him and his mother, my sister, dealing with his various problems; mostly learning disabilities.
He always struggled in whatever school he was enrolled in, and no matter what, he was reluctant to do his academic work. His step-dad was French, they despised each other, and the kid never learned any french while his sister became fluent. People thought he was just hopeless, stupid. He graduated high school but barely. He wouldn't have, except finally he found an interest that was his and not force fed to him. theater; he was great at memorizing lines and such; but never could remember anything from doing his homework or studying whatever subject he wasn't interested in.

He was diagnosed and medicated for ADD, but specifically, hyperactivity was not part of his diagnosis.
Click to expand...
Thanks for sharing!
Sounds similar to me. I don't recall having any development problems (although I wouldn't remember being that little anyway). In fact I might wanna say my family has told me I started walking slightly earlier than most kids, so I don't know for sure.
I got A's, B's & C's all through elementary school.

But when I was 5 years old, my mom married my stepdad. He was a freemason, religious & extremely abusive. So I dealt with him til I was about 12. And shortly after would have been when I just stopped being able to pay attention in any classes.

I might see if I can get some kind of ADD testing & see if it could be part of my issues.
 
Yes development can be slowed by things other than what you were born with. Being in an abusive environment may have been the trigger that started making your thoughts disorganized or being worried or scared of going home to an abusive step-dad maybe made school much more difficult. And maybe underachievement was an aspiration of yours as a way to show your caregivers that they were fucking up raising you! Just speculation, of course, I don't even begin to understand how or why things got difficult for you; but I can speak from my own experience.

Getting evaluated if possible, is probably a good idea; you may be given something to help organize and focus your thinking; if you feel like I do lately. Which is scattered, discombobulated and foggy. My psychiatrist said that I should be on a stimulant, but is hesitant to prescribe as I am already on benzos and opioids, so she is reluctant to give out a stimulant before I finish my benzo taper. Ive never had a stimulant except meth or coke; which I definitely did not dose in a reasonable fashion as to address my own ADD/OCD!
 
lolis my thesis said:
Yes development can be slowed by things other than what you were born with. Being in an abusive environment may have been the trigger that started making your thoughts disorganized or being worried or scared of going home to an abusive step-dad maybe made school much more difficult. And maybe underachievement was an aspiration of yours as a way to show your caregivers that they were fucking up raising you! Just speculation, of course, I don't even begin to understand how or why things got difficult for you; but I can speak from my own experience.

Getting evaluated if possible, is probably a good idea; you may be given something to help organize and focus your thinking; if you feel like I do lately. Which is scattered, discombobulated and foggy. My psychiatrist said that I should be on a stimulant, but is hesitant to prescribe as I am already on benzos and opioids, so she is reluctant to give out a stimulant before I finish my benzo taper. Ive never had a stimulant except meth or coke; which I definitely did not dose in a reasonable fashion as to address my own ADD/OCD!
Click to expand...
Thank you for sharing that perspective. <3
You know, when I was in my 20's, I would some times hold resentment toward my mom for letting my step dad do that to me. And the fact that she never tried to get me any mental help.
Hell, my mom didn't even know I was gay til I flat out told her when I was 18.
She had no clue. lol I remember saying to her "mom, why do you think all my friends were girls". lol She said she thought it was cause I was a ladies man. lol Which shows how detached from me & who I was, she really was. Everyone else already knew I was gay.
But now I can look back & see that my mom gave up a career & moved states for that man.. She also ended up relying on his social security & income to keep us afloat. And for that, I can understand and forgive her. My mom had extreme panic and obsessive worrying & depression which affected her ability to hold jobs (gee wonder where I get it lol) She made it up to me big time later in life tho, by giving me absolute freedom & keeping a roof over my head til I was 32 lol I have no doubt it impacted my development. I don't consciously think about that trauama a lot anymore, and my mom was a very anxious, depressed & broken woman. Obviously mental illness ran in our family & a combo of that and my upbringing really threw me a shitty hand.
I don't even really like stimulants either honestly. They feel unnatural, forced & then I get paranoid & scatter brained when they wear off. Ironically they never really gave me energy or motivation, just made it easier to stay awake. Opioids have always given me a very clean, natural-feeling motivation to go move my body & take care of things I put off. But of course, no doctor is gonna give them to me for that reason unfortunately.
 
We are all products of circumstances of our upbringing; and are very likely to repeat the behaviors that were modeled for us growing up. My parents were distant; not nurturing or cuddly. I had a nanny and wasn't breastfed. Love seemed to be given conditionally. Raised in the stern fashion that they were themselves. They didn't know else to do it! Now I have a hard time forming intimate connections. Which, in turn, I have passed on to my own kids.

A kid who is abused, may feel angry and in turn don't know how to react when raising their own, and repeat the cycle. Kids of smokers, smoke. Kids of alcoholics, drink. Monkey see, monkey do. Even though we may be dead set not to repeat; behavioral determinism seems real to me. Then there is also a strong genetic tendency towards exhibiting similar traits inherited from our bio parents.

Nature, nurture both play a role in our development. "The apple doesn't roll far from the tree!" My ex-wife, she wanted to be nothing at all like her mother, so she moved away at 18, and married me at 21. But twenty years later, guess what? She became very much like her own mother, who had also divorced at age 40. Kids of divorce are more likely to become divorced themselves. I'm not saying my parents should have stayed together, but they did, like their parents before them; so that was the relationship model I was more inclined to repeat, unlike my ex wifes.

A bit of a curse to be able to think about it, come to think about it!
 
What College/University subjects and fields are you most interested in or suit your strengths and temperament? Are you more suited to building things like trades school?
Most people will change careers more than once in their lifetimes; as the world changes fast. Ultimately, I don’t believe that we choose what we do, but our work chooses us in some sense.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top