Opioids Fentanyl to methadone

[Fleischfresser?]

My Ma said the same thing,as she put it,she raised us kids and we could raise our own,god rest her soul she was one strong woman.i didn't work till our youngest was in school, and then it was only for 13yrs,cuz my back and neck went.I help out the kids when ever I can but it's not the same as the grandma that can run around

I just got upset, someone said don't kill hornets or mow your lawn !

Who said that about the hornets?

 

[Fleischfresser?]

Wait,what happened???did I insult you??man don't just leave,I don't understand

 

[Fleischfresser?]

Something happened,1st off I think I just erased a post of your sweetie pie,Is that possible?2nd I think two posts might of got messed up Sweetie pie 3rd there is no reason to end our thread's,p.s please give leaving some thought ok

 

[Fleischfresser?]

If anyone is reading this, could you please explain what happened? I don't get it

 

[somnilicious]

Just wanted to say good bye my friend. I guess I'm too sensitive and easily hurt on this forum. Some hurtful people on here. And cold. I know we all have problems but I can get outspoken. So I enjoyed meeting you and wish you the best. Who knows in the hereafter we may meet again ! Love, Bethany

Please don't go. I enjoyed reading your posts and I was rooting for you the entire time in the shadows. You don't know me but there are lots of great people on this site that care for each other and want to help or offer support. Sometimes you just have to ignore those that are less than nice. Lots of people here are dealing with depression and substance abuse problems and sometimes they either don't realize they are being cruel or they are simply projecting their own problems on to others. It's easy to misread people through text.

I hope you are doing well today. I'm not very good at connecting on the net but I have enjoyed following your stories and I think you're a sweetheart. Please give us another chance and you might just find those people that do deeply care about your well being. Praying for you and sending love from the Somniverse

P.S... I am on Methadone myself so I definitely understand some of the stuff you're going through. I hope that you'll come back so we can get to know one another and then we can offer each other support.

 

[Fleischfresser?]

Hi Somnilicious,I've been called FF and that's great,I been talking with sweetie pie,and am very sad she has left I'm hoping she just needs a little time and will returnI'm on methadone 60ml it's been quite a journey,and everyday has been harder in a different way.How are you doing on it?I also agree that some or most people are going through tough times at different times.Im going to keep posting and hope anybody who wants will join inand Sweetie pie,please join me again

 

[Painful One]

Will you be able to heal from when you got hurt ? Are you able to repair ? You seem so strong. I hate to see you suffer anymore, honest !!

I wish @Hylight.
I have Extensive damage to my liver and injuries to my back.
I went through liver failure.
I think when you go through something so painful that your mind records it and that is what lands you in chronic pain.
Kind of like phantom limb syndrome.

It has been many years and I do take breaks just to see if that pain is any better and it just is not.
I have resigned myself to a lifetime with it.
Management of the pain and other health issues is the best I have found.

Love you @ Hylight
You are one of my sweetest friends here.
Hope you are doing well.

 

[somnilicious]

Hi Somnilicious,I've been called FF and that's great,I been talking with sweetie pie,and am very sad she has left I'm hoping she just needs a little time and will returnI'm on methadone 60ml it's been quite a journey,and everyday has been harder in a different way.How are you doing on it?I also agree that some or most people are going through tough times at different times.Im going to keep posting and hope anybody who wants will join inand Sweetie pie,please join me again

Hi FF, I'm doing great on Methadone. It took a little bit of time for me to adjust to the methadone this time because I was using large amounts of fentanyl but now I couldn't be better.

I hate to admit it but I will probably be on Methadone for the rest of my life. I've been an opiate addict for over 25yrs and on and off methadone for over 20. The only clean time I've ever had was from 2015 to 2017 I put together separate stretches of 9mths, a year and then another 10 or so months each stretch was punctuated with relapses and since 2018 or 19 I've been back on full time. I just never really felt right and my emotions always fluctuated from one extreme to another.

I got back on methadone at the end of 2020 and haven't relapsed on heroin(Fentanyl) since. I am currently at 90mgs and have had to force myself to get by at that dose because I promised myself I wouldn't continue going up this time. Last time I got up to 180mgs a day and I would buy extra 200mg bottles off the street several times a week to double and triple dose.

My life has improved so much since making the decision to go back to the clinic. I only have to go to the clinic twice a week now. I have a good job, truck with extra money to spend and save. My relationships are amazing, both friends and family. I love the person I see in the mirror for the first time in as long as I can remember. My moods are stable and I can now sleep at night. My God... That is the best part. When not on methadone I would stay awake for 2-3 days straight before finally getting maybe 4-5hrs of sleep if I was lucky and this was my sleep schedule for years. This wasn't even during withdrawal, which would make the insomnia infinitely worse. I have never met anyone before who has had insomnia as severe as mine, even self described insomniacs. Well enough about me.

I hope you are doing well and that the methadone is beginning to help. I'll try to pop into the thread frequently to stay in touch.

God bless and have a good day. Much love to all my brothers and sisters caught up in the struggle

 

[Painful One]

How is the transition to the Methadone going today FF?
I hope you are starting to find some kind of a balance.
Hang in there l
You are going through a lot. Changing pain medication, getting off Gabapentin.
It is going to take a few for your body to adjust. Don’t give up.

I have been busy this last week and was just checking up on you now.
I was enjoying the talk about old toys and birds very much.
I also have many bird and animal friends.
I love them.

I am sorry to hear someone made @ OurSweetiePie feel bad.
I hope she comes back.
Some of my best friends here started out insulting me. Lol. I just kept pouring love on them and you know what?
They came around.
Many are hurting here and going through ALOT.
We must be patient and forgiving.
Love you all.

 

[Painful One]

Hi FF, I'm doing great on Methadone. It took a little bit of time for me to adjust to the methadone this time because I was using large amounts of fentanyl but now I couldn't be better.

I hate to admit it but I will probably be on Methadone for the rest of my life. I've been an opiate addict for over 25yrs and on and off methadone for over 20. The only clean time I've ever had was from 2015 to 2017 I put together separate stretches of 9mths, a year and then another 10 or so months each stretch was punctuated with relapses and since 2018 or 19 I've been back on full time. I just never really felt right and my emotions always fluctuated from one extreme to another.

I got back on methadone at the end of 2020 and haven't relapsed on heroin(Fentanyl) since. I am currently at 90mgs and have had to force myself to get by at that dose because I promised myself I wouldn't continue going up this time. Last time I got up to 180mgs a day and I would buy extra 200mg bottles off the street several times a week to double and triple dose.

My life has improved so much since making the decision to go back to the clinic. I only have to go to the clinic twice a week now. I have a good job, truck with extra money to spend and save. My relationships are amazing, both friends and family. I love the person I see in the mirror for the first time in as long as I can remember. My moods are stable and I can now sleep at night. My God... That is the best part. When not on methadone I would stay awake for 2-3 days straight before finally getting maybe 4-5hrs of sleep if I was lucky and this was my sleep schedule for years. This wasn't even during withdrawal, which would make the insomnia infinitely worse. I have never met anyone before who has had insomnia as severe as mine, even self described insomniacs. Well enough about me.

I hope you are doing well and that the methadone is beginning to help. I'll try to pop into the thread frequently to stay in touch.

God bless and have a good day. Much love to all my brothers and sisters caught up in the struggle

So glad to hear this.
I know what you mean.
It is such a relief to get stability back in your life. To be able to eat and sleep and have your mood stable enough to work on relationships,
It is just something we have to manage. It can be lived with. It is not a death sentence.
Survive and THRIVE!

 

[Fleischfresser?]

Today has started better physically wise,it's been such a up and down rollercoaster ride,i hope I'm settling in, that would be great Tomorrow is Mother's day,and I have told all my kids not to go and buy me nothing,and if they can't abide by that,then get me one of those flowers in the small pack they sell in the garden section,that way I could put it in here or at the cemetery for there grandma that way they keep on giving through out the summer.im so proud and lucky to have everyone of them,I been avoiding the news the past couple of days , enough negativity to last a life timeIt's been down right beautiful today I live on the shady side of the street so my Lilly's are just starting to grow,lol Its very nice to meet you Somnilicious !I'm a terrible speller so I think I will shorten your name,just don't know what to?and congratulations to getting a good life going!I hope to see sweety pie againI love that your out in the country Painful one, I really love that I found this forum,and can honestly say I don't know what I would of done without it,it was getting pretty dark around here

 

[Fleischfresser?]

My husband has been keeping up with the Johnny Depp trial,I swear my Mother's was correct,men are more nosy than women!he watches the neighbors,too he knows who comes home with who ect..I always looked at it as,I could give a rats ass! I will probably go back to the news today though,Sunday is not a good T.V day at all Odie has been changing his whole way of living, refusing on telling me when he wants to go nite nite,now he goes to his second cage ,going on top of it and stareing into the light and blending in ,he's also not eating his ravioli,ect... I guess he figures if I can change then he will too intell ya this old dog has been learning enough new tricks for a lifetime!lol.yesterday was another good day I noticed at night I started getting the chills and runny nose,so I'm confused on one hand I'm nodding off and the other having small episodes of withdrawal?I'm really confused as to should I go up another ten of just stay at 60ml? yesterday our ducks (a male and female)were out in front past dark eating,they scare the heck out of me!cars race down our street,and the female is kinda slow and pardon me stupid and of course my mind takes me to every dark possibility,a left over of raising my kid's!plus they have to wait till after dark....I mean honestly!!Does anyone have any good ideas regarding my ,21yr old cat? He doesn't eat his food,and is costing me a fortune!Last but not least,Happy Mother's day!and fellas, remember your Mama's

 

[Fleischfresser?]

I hope all the Mother's out there had a beautiful day! I know I did,all my children popped in with my grand children,the only one missing was my oldest ,he lives better then 5hrs away so I more then understand,the two youngest members 6 and 5 months old were precious let's just say I was glowing and it's been a while since I havethe damn fentanyl had robbed me of more then I realized, simple emotions that a person takes for granted. Today was a great day and I'm happy

 

[Robi]

thats fantastic hunni

 

[Robi]

Today has started better physically wise,it's been such a up and down rollercoaster ride,i hope I'm settling in, that would be great Tomorrow is Mother's day,and I have told all my kids not to go and buy me nothing,and if they can't abide by that,then get me one of those flowers in the small pack they sell in the garden section,that way I could put it in here or at the cemetery for there grandma that way they keep on giving through out the summer.im so proud and lucky to have everyone of them,I been avoiding the news the past couple of days , enough negativity to last a life timeIt's been down right beautiful today I live on the shady side of the street so my Lilly's are just starting to grow,lol Its very nice to meet you Somnilicious !I'm a terrible speller so I think I will shorten your name,just don't know what to?and congratulations to getting a good life going!I hope to see sweety pie againI love that your out in the country Painful one, I really love that I found this forum,and can honestly say I don't know what I would of done without it,it was getting pretty dark around here

enjoy your posts, sweetie pie left a me letter, loved and miss her

 

[Fleischfresser?]

It's beautiful out today,summer seems to be really here this time lol watch it snow tomorrow,it wouldn't be the 1st timeBoth my grandson's that live with me got jobs! Which is something to celebrate ,I don't Invision them moving out,damn with the prices the way they are out there you would have to have 4 people in a 1bedroom,it's crazy both of them need factory jobs instead of fast food and grocery stores,but I'm sure they need to get their feet wet first.lol today is my day to complain,since I been more busy my bunion foot is in terrible pain when I walkalmost competing with my back,I have more problems then Carter makes pills , something my Ma would say to us kids, usually to my sister,sadly both have passed. My Ma would of been upset as all get out about both my sister and mine back,we had a great uncle that needed a wheelchair because of his back they said it was because he was a Iceman,which didn't help at all but I'm sure osteoarthritis got him too,I only met him once but from what I remember he was a really nice manwell I will end this here,and will write further later

 

[Fleischfresser?]

Our female duck visitor is trying to give me a coronary! She walks the gutter of our street,she crosses the road very very slowly and our traffic goes so fast,my husband says we need a duck crossing sign lol but I think they would speed up and aim for them..it's funny as hell when the male is with her,he runs a tight ship and doesn't care for her willy nilly behavior ether,no site of him today though Odie my parrot is being quite the jerk too,love is in the air lol but none for me,as a matter of fact he stood on his rope like every nite where I scratch his neck prior to nite nite well....tonight he stood there a little out of reach,so I said Odie you got to get closer,cuz I had that feeling he was out for me,and sure enough...he reached through the bars and pinched my finger pretty damn hard haha but no blood!so I take it as a winhe's lucky I have all this maternal love otherwise well I don't know.... he's just lucky.On a health note I find myself retaining urine off and on,I'm not sure why but I don't like itI guess I worry to much,or so I'm told enough.well goodnight everyone.

 

[Fleischfresser?]

I was thinking about past things I used to love doing,My Dad worked on the railroad and was on the road every other day,so he would meet people,a fella of Indian decent taught him how to make bead bands,and Dad taught us, it's fun and creative but hard on the eyes lol,I also loved painting ceramic pieces,they had a great little place in town to buy the pieces you wanted,that's something I will have to look into and see where I could get them now.I also loved doing large puzzles and framing them,I still have a few in boxes waiting for my return.How about everyone else??I guess my son in-law had to take off from work and drive a hour away to find formula,what in the world are parents gonna do,I guess someone offered to pump breast milk for them,which is a great thing but my daughter worries about possible habits she may have,this world is going to hell in a hand basket!Gas I guess is also at a all time high,so it's gonna get worseThere are always the assholes that buy up stuff,and then pump it at higher prices,what are we to do?I know in my mother's day they made formula out of canned milk ,I'm sure recipes for it still exist,and it's gotta be pretty good cuz we kids all survived and thrived on it.So we will see.

 

[Ds]

There was no 'pins n needles/rush' when IV fentanyl, never IVd methadone, I was on a MMT plan, and I staid higher on it rather then risking OD on a dirty shot to not even know I'd OD.

Methadone > Fentanyl

 

[Fleischfresser?]

The start of this day has been difficult at best,I woke up and just knew something was off,good old mother's gut,turns out our son was craving a cigarette at 6:00am,so he drives off to a roller rink that our granddaughter had her birthday party at,just because he noticed a bunch of cigs that he could reburn,I mean WOW totally stupid,but that's our son,no impulse control,so off he goes ,as he's pulling into the place a rabbit runs in front of him, without hesitation he swerves to miss it and hits the sign,which wipes out the driver's side quarter panel and pop's his driver's side tire,he had a spare tire but because it was put on with a impact driver he couldn't get it off ,him and our grandson walk to a car parts store and buys attachment so he can possibly get it off ,and lol is told it's a American made part so it's not gonna break like the two before,well....u got it,it snapped right off the bat! Ok he did get it off,had he been 5min earlier the cop never would of come,that's turned out ok unless he gets a call sometime today saying differently,so I'm putting it out to the universe that he gets no fine ect...so he's my ride untill our truck gets back from the mechanic,our car that's been sitting here all winter over a battery ,a battery! before my back went,I did all the shit regarding our cars, I've switched out alternators in parking lots at one point. Anyway it also was died without gas,so I have to get my license back since,so I ask my husband if he would take me,and no he wasn't going to,I won't beg absolutely will not.My daughter came and got me and I gave her money for the fuel.i will be saying more later,and please anyone with input or something else, maybe something funny.