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Good looking Vs Intelligence

This has turned out to be a great thread guys :)

I realised something - I don't have any friends who are below average (traditional) intelligence either. I used to, but over the years they've fallen away and it's only the overachievers I still communicate with.

I suppose I've been a bit hypocritical, chastising Fallen1 for hating on "stupids" when I can't even say of myself "Hey, some of my best friends are stupid!" ;)
 
I don't have any Lebanese people in my immediate circle of friends. Doesn't mean I hate Lebanese people.
 
I find it ironic that Petersko is so perceptive about fallen1 yet so self-unaware. :D
 
Whether I'm actually perceptive or just full of myself remains to be seen. I could have gotten nothing right.
 
Kandy K said:
Here's the thing. People generally have different tastes in beauty. People generally consider people who are "intelligent" as someone who they PERCEIVE to be of equal or greater intellect than them, and people who are "dumb" are generally people who they PERCEIVE to be stupider than them.

I for one, don't want to be with an ugly person. Nor do I want to be with an idiot. But I sometimes compromise--the better looking he is, the more of an idiot I allow him to be. The worse looking he is, the more he must compensate for it by personality. This is why the stereotype that "ugly people are funny/smart," "smart people are stupid/annoying," stereotype exists, but the truth is, I've met some ugly fuckers who are stupid as fuck, and I've met some beautiful people who have a lot of wisdom. Beauty can earn you some points, but in life we all go through some shit, so to say that really isn't fair.
Click to expand...

This is how it is for me too..except there is a certain line someone couldnt pass...I mean you can be the coolest person on earth but if there are physical things about you I cant get past, well thats that. As shallow as that seems, its not a concious decision on my part..I mean I feel sexual attraction when I feel it..its a force of nature. I will admit, however, than when it comes to the line for attraction, I could deal with a lot less smarts than I could deal with a lacking in the looks department (as long as the person was still funny and chill and we had good chemistry, they dont have to be smart!)..in fact..Id honestly MUCH rather be with someone who was less intelligent than me..I cant stand being the dumb one. :\
 
I don't mind stupidity either, just if they are unwilling to open their minds and kind of want to remain in their stupid little bubble forever, I cannot really envision any future together, and I easily lose interest.
 
Very interesting, Petersko. You deserve to be correct, and I would have been stunned by your perceptivity a year and a half or so ago. I had the advantage of living with someone who gave me very nearly those exact words around that time, and I learnt a lot from them. You assume that I talk shit to stupid people wherever I find them, and I can see how you'd get that impression from the way that I write. However, I am also a lot more relaxed, or, arguably, fatalistic, than my online persona. I learned some time ago how irritating the person who always corrects everyone is. These days, I let most things go, because I just don't care enough. If people wish to be ignorant, or are stupid through no fault of their own, it doesn't bother me, generally speaking. I smile and walk away. I rarely get frustrated or upset, I just feel a vague pity mixed with amusement, elitist and superior though that may be.

However... take the person who interrupts an interesting discussion to interject an obvious point that is at best tangential, and most commonly irrelevant to, whatever is being discussed. Take the person who spews a hopelessly misinterpreted, second rate feminist argument, and upon being questioned screams about male oppression without providing evidence. Take the person who makes bold claims in a debate without thinking them through, and then, when pressed, explains that "that isnt what they meant, despite the fact they said something completely different they actually meant 'x' ". These people break my beloved calm. I dont get angry with them, because its such an unproductive way of approaching the world, but I do mock them. When someone pushes it past a certain point, I feel the need to point out the idocy of their arguments. One ignorant comment I can take. 2, fine. 3, still funny. 4, and I start getting incredulous. 5, I am actively trying to hold my tongue. 6... well, hit 6 and my thoughts come out. I realize this is one of my major character flaws, and I am sort of trying to eradicate it. In your example of the urban myth at the party, I would, and have, kept my mouth shut, because it gains me nothing and I just dont care that much. It wouldn't be a problem. However, if that same guy interrupted a discussion I was having, my lack of care would start to slip. A couple of stupid points and I can just think to myself, "How unfortunate for you". Keep filling the discussion with them, and then it all goes pear-shaped.

And I'm really not quite sure why. I hear the inferiority complex theory a lot, which is why I broached this topic, but I'm just not convinced. If I felt the need to demonstrate my intelligence every time someone spoke, I would be. But its not like that. I can ignore it, and indeed enjoy it, up to a certain point. Then it becomes tiresome, and then irritating. The people that incur my wrath just aren't people I feel inferior to. They are the tragically stupid, people so stupid they believe they are smart. Thus, I don't feel threatened by them, I just want them to shut up. The question for me is, why do I want them to shut up? Why can't I just laugh at them indefinitely? Why is there a point at which their inane babble becomes intolerable to me?

Your analysis would have nailed me, 100%, about two years ago. These days I honestly believe I've moved past that, and my behaviour would reflect that. I used to make endless enemies for fun, just because I didn't respect them. Now I am far more peaceful. Right up until someone starts crossing that line...

Have at it.
 
It may be that your behaviours just haven't caught up to the new you yet.

The people that incur my wrath just aren't people I feel inferior to. They are the tragically stupid, people so stupid they believe they are smart. Thus, I don't feel threatened by them, I just want them to shut up.
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Naturally those people aren't the ones that you feel inferior to.

Often when people feel inferior in certain social situations (or to certain other people), they will act out aggressively towards perceived inferiors when they feel their traits give them the upper hand.

I think in psychology they might call it "transference". Like the professors from "The Wall" who beat the schoolchildren because their wives beat them.

That's why I thought you might have that dual set of "complexes". Yes, it's a bad word - a catch all.

The question for me is, why do I want them to shut up? Why can't I just laugh at them indefinitely? Why is there a point at which their inane babble becomes intolerable to me?
Click to expand...

If you had an inferiority complex, I would say it's because your mind is trying to maintain equilibrium. Looking at people with a tremendous amount of active disdain might offset the negativity associated with other aspects of your life.

Bear in mind I have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm pulling ideas basically out of my ass here. I know nothing about psychology. I just have hunches.

Having said that, I also think that people of above average intelligence are also more likely to be unstable in many ways. A basic concept in engineering is that the more complex a system is, the more prone it is to failure. My own pet theory is that this applies to brains.

Incidentally, I wasn't working totally in the dark. While I never acted out, I recognize some of the thinking patterns from myself more than a decade ago.
 
Fallen1 said:
They are the tragically stupid, people so stupid they believe they are smart.
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The ones who are just smart enough to give them the potential to reach that lowest level of stupid =D
 
Ahhh I see what you mean now.

Your posts have given me quite a bit to think about, Cheers.
 
Iam a fussy sod and prefer, nay demand both looks and intelligence, but if i was forced to choose i would have to go for intelligence keeping the long haul in mind.
Zophen.
 
I feel that being intelligent IS sexy..... Just me & i'm strange.
 
My opinion on this is that:
1) Looks do matter in the sense that it brings about sexual attraction and lust which starts the relationship. However, in a long term relationship, the lust dies out to be replaced by emotional bonding.
2)Intelligence (having good interpersonal and communicative skills) keeps the relationship going from then on.

I also think that the more somebody understands me, the more worthy of my time, care and attention they are. This understanding can start the relationship the same way that looks can, but more often than not, without the physical attraction, the relationship does not progress beyond a simple friendship.
 
:| Can I say something here?

What I find "stupid"or stated less offensively, mislead, is the arrogance behind the "intelligence" of those who call others stupid. Some of you throw the word around as if it's an irrefutable fact that establishes a hiearchy of personal worth. What ever happened to the importance of wisdom in intelligence? Wisdom knows all men are fools and that love for self and others is a guiding light in life.

It just infuriates me when I hear smart people refer to those they deem of an "inferior" intellect as "dumb" or "stupid" or "retarded" and attatch those labels to ideas like "pathetic", "sad", and "waste." YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT ANOTHER HUMAN BEING!! Does this not matter???

Intelligence is not the ultimate determinant of having quality interactions with another person and when you choose to make it a defining factor you're cheating yourself. Your knowledge base is bound to be more circumscribed, your love for others more conditional in nature, and I would proffer that your character, and thus ultimaetly you, suffer as a result.

I realize I am taking issue with a tendency common to almost everyone but I feel that awareness is a step in the right direction. I of course am a hypocrite just as you are and therefore I am no better nor worse, but with regards to this issue, over the past few years I have made an effort not to throw words around that create the illusion of a superior/inferior.

Everyone you meet has something to offer you and if you can't see that...try to (I could have said something more offensive here, but what would be the use in that?). Don't be afraid to recognize how similar you are to a bum on the street, to your worst enemy, to a dying man in Africa. There is no reason to use language that sets you above another. The hiearchy is man made and illusory. We're all on the same level here. :\

That being said...take care all.
 
spun_in_wonderland said:
:| Can I say something here?

What I find "stupid"or stated less offensively, mislead, is the arrogance behind the "intelligence" of those who call others stupid. Some of you throw the word around as if it's an irrefutable fact that establishes a hiearchy of personal worth. What ever happened to the importance of wisdom in intelligence? Wisdom knows all men are fools and that love for self and others is a guiding light in life.

It just infuriates me when I hear smart people refer to those they deem of an "inferior" intellect as "dumb" or "stupid" or "retarded" and attatch those labels to ideas like "pathetic", "sad", and "waste." YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT ANOTHER HUMAN BEING!! Does this not matter???

Intelligence is not the ultimate determinant of having quality interactions with another person and when you choose to make it a defining factor you're cheating yourself. Your knowledge base is bound to be more circumscribed, your love for others more conditional in nature, and I would proffer that your character, and thus ultimaetly you, suffer as a result.

I realize I am taking issue with a tendency common to almost everyone but I feel that awareness is a step in the right direction. I of course am a hypocrite just as you are and therefore I am no better nor worse, but with regards to this issue, over the past few years I have made an effort not to throw words around that create the illusion of a superior/inferior.

Everyone you meet has something to offer you and if you can't see that...try to (I could have said something more offensive here, but what would be the use in that?). Don't be afraid to recognize how similar you are to a bum on the street, to your worst enemy, to a dying man in Africa. There is no reason to use language that sets you above another. The hiearchy is man made and illusory. We're all on the same level here. :\

That being said...take care all.
Click to expand...

*stand up and applauds* Thankyou.

I have been thinking exactly the same thing for a very long time but have just been a little too apathetic to address it.

The arrogance of 'intelligent' people lording their intellectual superiority over others makes them, in my humble opinion, complete asshats. I hear a lot of comments like "Grrrrr.... I can't STAND ignorant people!". Well perhaps ignorance is relative? Perhaps you are ignoring a chance to learn something about yourself, and the world around you, because of your attitude right there.

I find it hard to respect the "intelligence" of someone who shows little or no compassion, flexibility or generosity towards their fellow man.
 
As much as I agree with every single word of spun_in_wonderland and SLM's comments, I can't help but think one thing:

If it weren't for ignorant people, we wouldn't have George Bush in office (I know that doesn't affect you as strongly in OZ as here, but he still has a global influence). If it weren't for ignorant people, we wouldn't have the war on drugs. We wouldn't have the wholescale destruction of the earth's environment. And so on.

I try not to be an angry person, and I do consider every human being to be on an equal level, but I must say: IGNORANCE SUCKS! The people who are fucking up our society and our planet...fuck them! :grrr: They are assholes. Do they get a pass because they're ignorant, close-minded, provincial, uneducated, unperceptive, and just plain dumb? Not from me.

I know some smart people voted for Bush, too, and I'm trying to keep politics out of this, but it was mostly dumb people who put Bush in office and I just can't get past that.
 
A quick aside, I think the whole "2 party system" is flawed, there's no room for a central fiscally conservative yet forward thinking party, something akin to the Canadian liberals (minus the corruption and shitty spending, but they're still the lesser of 3 evils)...

I can put up with ignorant people, they can be fun to hang out with too. What I don't like is immature bratty types, usually many smart people fall into this category. That I can't stand. I find the whole "hollier than though" attitude a total turnoff as well. The key is to be centered, confident in all aspects of yourself, and don't be afraid to laugh alittle at your own expense either.
 
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