• Bluelight

    A memorial
    to Bluelighters
    who have passed away

In Memoriam Captain.Heroin

I have confirmed this with family. CaptainHeroin, who has been a senior moderator here for so long, has recently passed away from a tragic OD. He has helped me for very many years with harm reduction, along with countless others. He helped me laugh when no one else could. It is with great sadness I announce this to the BL community. I am weeping.
I knew something was wrong when I last spoke with him. I could feel it. I only knew cap so well and I wasn't sure how much of that was just cap being cap, but something changed about 2 months ago.

Cap, was the best of us. Filled with energy and life. He was truly an amazing, caring and one of a kind person. A special soul.

I knew he was in pain. He very openly talked of suicide, yet I felt as a way to express his emotions into his art. I would like to believe this was a big accident. Cap was always pushing the limits. The captain of his soul.

Rest in peace A. Today I think of you. Goodbye for now. <3
Like all here may need a day or so off... i dont know what to say... after not hearing from him for a month i opened a message from him on discord today (a couple of days old) saying "Anddyyy! Im back. Im ok." .. "missed call from Capt. Heroin"

R.I.P 😢😢😢
Sharing a part of him that he shared with me... kinda eerie now but none the less a glimpse into our brother.
Suicide Obsession

In his own words:
I am a noise artist focusing on harsh noise, harsh noise walls, field recordings, glitch, and power electronics. Almost all of my work focuses on the absurd features of human life in America, the lack of culture present in our society, the erosion of civil rights, and the degradation of people as time goes on. Capturing beauty and repulsion within one city is an important reality that you cannot ignore. I am a Buddhist who subscribes to the notion that life is essentially suffering. I do not wish to live again but likely will, ad infinitum, with only brief reprieves of death. I am not a nihilist, but an absurdist. Does life have meaning? I keep searching, yet I find nothing...
He was at peace with death, even if accidental.

He was my biggest supporter.

He was gunna fly me to LA.

He was the only BLer I've called on the phone.

He was my first friend here.

He was the only person I followed on instagram.

He cared about other people so much.

He was brilliant.

I love Andrew.

Beautiful tribute to a wonderful man.
Oh no... He has been an irreplaceable part of bluelight from my old lurking days up until this moment, for as long as I've known about bluelight and undoubtedly for much longer than that still. I've only talked to him a couple of times but he seemed like a great guy and I know everyone loved him. This is a sad day and an indescribable loss. I can't imagine bluelight without him. I feel for his family and friends, online and offline. Fuck. RIP good dude
This sucks. I rarely post anymore, but this is different. He was one of the first to check up on me when I was posting my recovery journal regularly. I’m glad he’s at peace, if nothing else.

Please be safe, blue lighters. Everyone on this forum will forever hold a special place in my heart. You matter to somebody.
big RIP to my pal CH. Shit news... :(
My thoughts are with his loved ones IRL, but it is indeed a big hit to the BL community, as someone above said he truly was a staple. Ive had and seen so much A+ advice from him over the 10+ years ive been here.
Not really sure what else to say atm, even though he talked about death loads - its still a shock and a shitter.
Im sure we all wish we could have helped/done more.
May he rest in paradise <3 I will be raising a glass in his memory ASAP
When we used to talk privately he always saw death as positive thing. Sad that it didnt change.

His last 2 years would have been too much for anyryone considering all that happened.