• Bluelight
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    A memorial
    to Bluelighters
    who have passed away

In Memoriam Captain.Heroin

I have confirmed this with family. CaptainHeroin, who has been a senior moderator here for so long, has recently passed away from a tragic OD. He has helped me for very many years with harm reduction, along with countless others. He helped me laugh when no one else could. It is with great sadness I announce this to the BL community. I am weeping.
 
I been on blue light since 2008 and have gone back and forth with him many times on my posts. I didn’t know him, but he cared and you could tell. It’s never nice to lose someone and especially to an OD. Rest In Peace. With all the stuff we have seen on the drugs we have done there has got to be something more. Maybe after life it’s the perfect trip. 😞
 
Idk why i keep thinkig of this dude if we spoke for such a short time in private, i feel like his death was an absolute waste of potential, he was hands down the smartest and maybe the nicest dude i ever spoke to. He left alot of love for stubborns like me. I do not believe he died on purpose, people lose control when they use and this shit happens. I should be dead too but i still got pain to go through.
Anyway... not sure if someone already asked but uhh he sent me a novel he wrote, alot of pages, about 700 or more, and my dumb ass deleted the whole thing along with all the links to his noise project (suicide obsession... thats what it was called) if any of u want to make my day, just send it to me pl0x
 
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I remember 2 or 3 years back i suggested that an opiates harm-reduction section should be created, at that time you had all kind of forums and subforums, but strangely, even so it kills so many people, the opiates didn't have even a sub-section on the forum, now less than before of course...
 
Far out, I remember wayyyyy back when he only just started out with his noise stuff!!! I don't have any links to any of his recordings though, I'm sorry. But for what it's worth I really appreciated what he was doing with it :)
he finished it when he showed me, wanted to sell it for like 14 grand it consisted of about 5 cds and it was a real brutal noise wall that i would have gone crazy about when i was a teen, haha he was real proud of it even sent me the software cuz i wanted to record one too 😂😂
edit: omg i found the link should i post it or
 
Bruh a taxi driver took me to church today and i started crying like crazy when the pastor said something about dying young, the person next to me handed me toilet paper for my tears i felt like such an idiot
 
Bruh a taxi driver took me to church today and i started crying like crazy when the pastor said something about dying young, the person next to me handed me toilet paper for my tears i felt like such an idiot
No need to feel like an idiot for crying, brother <3 We cry for a reason. We're human. It's a beautiful thing <3
I hope you're feeling okay today <3

strangeaeon said:
edit: omg i found the link should i post it or
Ummm, I'm inclined to say no, don't post the link publicly, keep his work private. Perhaps if people want the link they can message you for it??
 
Bruh a taxi driver took me to church today and i started crying like crazy when the pastor said something about dying young, the person next to me handed me toilet paper for my tears i felt like such an idiot

You're not alone. I've been crying periodically all month. :(
 
If you were dealing with a family member that OD’d, would you rather not know if it was intentional or not?

I lost a close friend last May. She drank herself to death, but she was also despondent re: not having a job, COVID, and other things.

If my daughter died of an OD, I wouldn’t want to know that it was an intentional act.

I feel quite sad about my Dad’s suicide but I have lots of respect for how he handled it.
 
I haven't been active on blue light in quite a few years and based on how he was doing years ago I did not see this coming :( to everyone who knew him better than me, I'm sorry for the loss of a person who without ever having a direct 1 one 1 conversation left a lasting impression on me.
 
I have confirmed this with family. CaptainHeroin, who has been a senior moderator here for so long, has recently passed away from a tragic OD. He has helped me for very many years with harm reduction, along with countless others. He helped me laugh when no one else could. It is with great sadness I announce this to the BL community. I am weeping.
Damn. Long live Captain.heroin. You helped so much on this forum. This truly saddens me to read this :( rest in peace man
Sending good energy to your loved ones. You were a real one.🖤
 
You're not alone. I've been crying periodically all month. :(
Am sorry 🤝 this just happened in a very painful time of my life, but i imagine that you knew him better than i did and for way longer too, am sorry 🤝🤝 but i think that you are lucky for that, for knowing him since way back, he was super interesting and fun, i do miss him
 
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