• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Sad Lost all friends due to drug use?

vnessa

vnessa

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 1, 2022
Messages
19
How many of you lost almost all of your friends due to drug use? I know I have and it’s a lonely ass world now.. I’m hoping I can find some on here eventually but I’ll never stop felling like I let everyone down… I’m a hurricane
 
vnessa said:
How many of you lost almost all of your friends due to drug use? I know I have and it’s a lonely ass world now.. I’m hoping I can find some on here eventually but I’ll never stop felling like I let everyone down… I’m a hurricane
Click to expand...
Yes, I can relate. I feel quite lonely. For the past 10 years I’ve kept my meth use a secret from everyone except 3 people. It’s like living two lives. I basically lost all of my old friends because I isolated myself. I fell off the radar and never reached back out. The one friend I told in that group of friends I’m sure has told the others, so I feel like I can’t get back in touch because they might approach the subject and I’d be mortified. I miss them. I also feel like I’m letting everyone down, including myself, even though I haven’t fessed up. I wish you the best. We’re not alone in this even though it feels like it.
 
Hey you can INBOX me anyday everyday ! when i hit rock bottom everyone gave me the shoulder and judged me luckily not my parents, but since then ive know who my real friends are! i even cut my contacts and ordered a long time from the DW, so i don't have to see any of them anymore, my "so called friends" when they knew i was hooked on oxy's, they bought fake ones and didn't care and sold me a bottle real cheap, almost died if it wasnt for my dad that knock down my door when i heard me gaspin for air and hit me with narcan i had stashed, im literally here by miracle... so yeah i isolated myself from those type of dealers and my friends stopped calling me cause i was making a fool out of myself while on fent and i didnt know! but nobody told me i was babbling and scratchin my face like and idiot... lol
 
Sweet Jane78 said:
Yes, I can relate. I feel quite lonely. For the past 10 years I’ve kept my meth use a secret from everyone except 3 people. It’s like living two lives. I basically lost all of my old friends because I isolated myself. I fell off the radar and never reached back out. The one friend I told in that group of friends I’m sure has told the others, so I feel like I can’t get back in touch because they might approach the subject and I’d be mortified. I miss them. I also feel like I’m letting everyone down, including myself, even though I haven’t fessed up. I wish you the best. We’re not alone in this even though it feels like it.
Click to expand...
man i wrote in my group chat if you guys ever see me high on cocaine again, you have the right to call me out on my bullshit promises, cause i promised to stopped doing drugs on new years and ive been high ever since lol so i too been a double agent and hiding my drug use, even bought fake piss cause i had a drug test today for my suboxone script... lol
 
Sweet Jane78 said:
Yes, I can relate. I feel quite lonely. For the past 10 years I’ve kept my meth use a secret from everyone except 3 people. It’s like living two lives. I basically lost all of my old friends because I isolated myself. I fell off the radar and never reached back out. The one friend I told in that group of friends I’m sure has told the others, so I feel like I can’t get back in touch because they might approach the subject and I’d be mortified. I miss them. I also feel like I’m letting everyone down, including myself, even though I haven’t fessed up. I wish you the best. We’re not alone in this even though it feels like it.
Click to expand...
I’m sorry that you feel the same, but i do feel less alone thank you! Feel free to pm me any time
 
TheOriginalChair said:
Hey you can INBOX me anyday everyday ! when i hit rock bottom everyone gave me the shoulder and judged me luckily not my parents, but since then ive know who my real friends are! i even cut my contacts and ordered a long time from the DW, so i don't have to see any of them anymore, my "so called friends" when they knew i was hooked on oxy's, they bought fake ones and didn't care and sold me a bottle real cheap, almost died if it wasnt for my dad that knock down my door when i heard me gaspin for air and hit me with narcan i had stashed, im literally here by miracle... so yeah i isolated myself from those type of dealers and my friends stopped calling me cause i was making a fool out of myself while on fent and i didnt know! but nobody told me i was babbling and scratchin my face like and idiot... lol
Click to expand...
I’m sorry you had to go through that but I’m glad your dad was there for you and you’re still with us. I feel the scratching thing it comes and goes but is so embarrassing
 
TheOriginalChair said:
man i wrote in my group chat if you guys ever see me high on cocaine again, you have the right to call me out on my bullshit promises, cause i promised to stopped doing drugs on new years and ive been high ever since lol so i too been a double agent and hiding my drug use, even bought fake piss cause i had a drug test today for my suboxone script... lol
Click to expand...
Yeah, I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve restarted my sober time counter app. It always seems like a good idea when I decide to stop using. I’ve gotten to the point where I just leave it counting. I hope the pee works out for you.
 
Gonna send this over to Drug Culture (this subforum involves specific questions about drugs and their use, less so about the fallout -- though it can be difficult to separate).

Welcome to bluelight, this is a pretty unique place.
 
negrogesic said:
Gonna send this over to Drug Culture (this subforum involves specific questions about drugs and their use, less so about the fallout -- though it can be difficult to separate).

Welcome to bluelight, this is a pretty unique place.
Click to expand...
How do I find Drug Culture?
 
negrogesic said:
Gonna send this over to Drug Culture (this subforum involves specific questions about drugs and their use, less so about the fallout -- though it can be difficult to separate).

Welcome to bluelight, this is a pretty unique place.
Click to expand...
Thanks! Trying to learn the ins and outs of where and how to post properly but I definitely feel at home here already lol
 
Sweet Jane78 said:
How do I find Drug Culture?
Click to expand...
Click on Forums (after clicking on 3 bars at top left if on phone), and scroll down to the ones listed under Drug Experiences.

Here's a direct link:

Drug Culture

The place to talk casually about the social aspects of drugs use & your experiences
bluelight.org bluelight.org
 
Man I been on BL a good while but yall are making me wanna throw it all out...all that Ive been carrying. Almost feel like I am gonna vomit. God I am so sorry yall. It sucks dont it?! That loneliness...even in a room full of people...cause ya already know ya better keep to yourself cause of that monkey on ya back. To have every fiber of your being yearn for the poison thats trying to kill you. Addiction had me by 19. I was on prescription opiates for pain from about 11 years old consistently until 19 year. I wish now I had just gave up my right leg. It's hard to have friends cause if they arent addicts theres so much about you theyll never understand. If they are addicts...you keep it short and quick cause so many will rip ya off and you cant believe nothing they say. They still all about that agenda. I was there for years so I know. Addiction can have different phases depending on how long youve lived with it. Its all Ive ever known and I am now 44 so Ive got some experience under me. I've now maintained on suboxone for almost 15 years. I take 1/2 a day and sometimes even forget until that restless leg starts creeping in and goosebumps arise. But when chasing that dragon is still our no#1 priority we tend to fill our environment with whoever can fill our main purpose the quickest....so all we know are zombie friends...other addicts. I think this affects us more than we realize. It definitely affects how we socialize. I feel like I lived stuck in fight or flight mode for over 20 years. Idk if Ive ever got out of it. Maybe Ive just gotten use to it. But over the years Ive gradually become almost like a recluse. I look at others living life up and just dont understand them.

I just felt yall and related so much. Made my heart hurt. Yall aint alone and will be on my mind. I am in legit tears. Much love to yall. Heaven mjust be next cause we've done been thru hell❤
 
well hell legistics lol sorry


Yall make me nervous I cant tell where we can talk about what half the time lol

But I know it matters and yall do it so good😘😂
 
Kellsee said:
Man I been on BL a good while but yall are making me wanna throw it all out...all that Ive been carrying. Almost feel like I am gonna vomit. God I am so sorry yall. It sucks dont it?! That loneliness...even in a room full of people...cause ya already know ya better keep to yourself cause of that monkey on ya back. To have every fiber of your being yearn for the poison thats trying to kill you. Addiction had me by 19. I was on prescription opiates for pain from about 11 years old consistently until 19 year. I wish now I had just gave up my right leg. It's hard to have friends cause if they arent addicts theres so much about you theyll never understand. If they are addicts...you keep it short and quick cause so many will rip ya off and you cant believe nothing they say. They still all about that agenda. I was there for years so I know. Addiction can have different phases depending on how long youve lived with it. Its all Ive ever known and I am now 44 so Ive got some experience under me. I've now maintained on suboxone for almost 15 years. I take 1/2 a day and sometimes even forget until that restless leg starts creeping in and goosebumps arise. But when chasing that dragon is still our no#1 priority we tend to fill our environment with whoever can fill our main purpose the quickest....so all we know are zombie friends...other addicts. I think this affects us more than we realize. It definitely affects how we socialize. I feel like I lived stuck in fight or flight mode for over 20 years. Idk if Ive ever got out of it. Maybe Ive just gotten use to it. But over the years Ive gradually become almost like a recluse. I look at others living life up and just dont understand them.

I just felt yall and related so much. Made my heart hurt. Yall aint alone and will be on my mind. I am in legit tears. Much love to yall. Heaven mjust be next cause we've done been thru hell❤
Click to expand...
This made me cry :,( im sorry you’re going through this hell but I feel you when you said it’s hard to see others live it up. I just turned 20 and all my family members my age are living in big cities and going to these amazing parties and I’m just sitting my my apartment alone and sad I hate it so much

I would give anything to go to a rave or just a chill party and feel like my life is not so worthless…

I do hope you feel better and find yourself though and we will get to heaven/ nirvana/ whatever you believe eventually because we’re living through hell already. We’re not going to go though it again on the other side I promise
 
Sweet Jane78 said:
Yes, I can relate. I feel quite lonely. For the past 10 years I’ve kept my meth use a secret from everyone except 3 people. It’s like living two lives. I basically lost all of my old friends because I isolated myself. I fell off the radar and never reached back out. The one friend I told in that group of friends I’m sure has told the others, so I feel like I can’t get back in touch because they might approach the subject and I’d be mortified. I miss them. I also feel like I’m letting everyone down, including myself, even though I haven’t fessed up. I wish you the best. We’re not alone in this even though it feels like it.
Click to expand...
You're talking about the subject here, no reason to be mortified. If your mind starts to go in another direction, so you can still be mortified, stop it. Just as you can't make sure everyone understands the whole story you also can't keep others from reading your post.
 
EcHo EcHo said:
You're talking about the subject here, no reason to be mortified. If your mind starts to go in another direction, so you can still be mortified, stop it. Just as you can't make sure everyone understands the whole story you also can't keep others from reading your post.
Click to expand...
Yes, true
 
JTemperance said:
Click on Forums (after clicking on 3 bars at top left if on phone), and scroll down to the ones listed under Drug Experiences.

Here's a direct link:

Drug Culture

The place to talk casually about the social aspects of drugs use & your experiences
bluelight.org bluelight.org
Click to expand...
This is what I see.
Wait, how do I post a picture? I wanted to send you a screenshot.
 
Sweet Jane78 said:
This is what I see.
Wait, how do I post a picture? I wanted to send you a screenshot.
Click to expand...
Save the picture to your phone/computer, upload it to a free image hosting site like imgBB.com, then copy the link and paste it here. The process is pretty simple and takes about 30 seconds once you get the hang of it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top