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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

@AntoniDimitrov

I used them, but only occasionally, when I felt really bad (I didn't finish one package in the whole year). I think that might be the best use of them, so you don't get dependent on them.
 
I used them for 6 months + SSRi (which still using) ,but 15 days ago I stopped the benzos and 10 days later I had a vertigo episode and recieved some of the symptoms before using the benzos.So I read some information and found that there is and abstinence because of them.

To be honest thats the reason why i?m asking here for another opinion.

What do you think?Is it abstinence or LTC?

Regards
 
I?m really confused about what I just experienced. Was working out at the gym and during my workout I noticed some sparkles appear in my vision. I stopped working out and kept looking at them. I was frightened and then I thought maybe there was glitter in the air so I reached out to try to swat it away to see if it was really there and it was not. I then looked at the ground and saw the floor cave in for a second. I was pretty freaked out so I left the gym... has anyone experienced this.. I thought my visuals were better I barley notice anything besides the mild static in low lighting and rare after images (happens more when I?m anxious) and eye floaters in the sky.. someone pls reply I?m so scared
 
It's just visual phenomena. Don't let it freak you out, it's not real. It sounds like you have HPPD. You know, one of the symptoms that must be present for it to be actually diagnosed as HPPD is that the residual effects negatively impact your life. I'll say that I have plenty of visual effects that happen when I'm sober. But I just take them in stride, even find them interesting. I choose not to consider myself damaged, and so I am not damaged. Becoming afraid of and fixated on lingering perceptual changes is what actually causes damage to your life. You can decide to not be afraid of them. They're not gonna hurt you. :)

In the meantime though, you should refrain from any drugs including weed while you get yourself sorted. Weed makes that stuff worse, and it also increases paranoia in general. Did you trip or roll recently? The more time sober you have, the more sorted your thoughts will be and the more the lingering visual stuff will fade away.

Take a deep breath... you're fine. :)
 
@Stupidk don't worry about those, really! I've had floaters all throughout my LTC with some very infrequent bubbles in my vision as well as the occaisional blinking and or colored lights. They continue to improve as my symptoms do. Don't worry about it! Just keep on recovering and they'll go away.
 
I?m really confused about what I just experienced. Was working out at the gym and during my workout I noticed some sparkles appear in my vision. I stopped working out and kept looking at them. I was frightened and then I thought maybe there was glitter in the air so I reached out to try to swat it away to see if it was really there and it was not. I then looked at the ground and saw the floor cave in for a second. I was pretty freaked out so I left the gym... has anyone experienced this.. I thought my visuals were better I barley notice anything besides the mild static in low lighting and rare after images (happens more when I?m anxious) and eye floaters in the sky.. someone pls reply I?m so scared

those sparkles happen when you exert too much force. Let me guess you were holding your breath crushing a set? Same thing happens to me if I sneeze too hard or get my back cracked. It’s because pressure builds up in your eyes. Happens to normal people too. Google “I see sparkles when I sneeze” or “dashing dots”.
 
It's just visual phenomena. Don't let it freak you out, it's not real. It sounds like you have HPPD. You know, one of the symptoms that must be present for it to be actually diagnosed as HPPD is that the residual effects negatively impact your life. I'll say that I have plenty of visual effects that happen when I'm sober. But I just take them in stride, even find them interesting. I choose not to consider myself damaged, and so I am not damaged. Becoming afraid of and fixated on lingering perceptual changes is what actually causes damage to your life. You can decide to not be afraid of them. They're not gonna hurt you. :)

In the meantime though, you should refrain from any drugs including weed while you get yourself sorted. Weed makes that stuff worse, and it also increases paranoia in general. Did you trip or roll recently? The more time sober you have, the more sorted your thoughts will be and the more the lingering visual stuff will fade away.

Take a deep breath... you're fine. :)
Today is actually the 4 month mark for me since my last roll. I also haven?t smoked in 4 mo this as well. The experience I had today lasted a total of 30 seconds. I?ve only see something ?breath? one other time around the 1 month mark.. anxiety is a lot better because I go to the gym but I?ve never seen those sparkles before, they looked so real. I sometimes I get random blue dots appear in my vision but they are so faint I barley notice them really. These sparkles were dead in my face. As for me holding my breath, I?m not sure if I was. I was doing abs on the ground.
 
Today is actually the 4 month mark for me since my last roll. I also haven?t smoked in 4 mo this as well. The experience I had today lasted a total of 30 seconds. I?ve only see something ?breath? one other time around the 1 month mark.. anxiety is a lot better because I go to the gym but I?ve never seen those sparkles before, they looked so real. I sometimes I get random blue dots appear in my vision but they are so faint I barley notice them really. These sparkles were dead in my face. As for me holding my breath, I?m not sure if I was. I was doing abs on the ground.

Many describe these sparkles as “ashes” they sorta float around then one by one disappear. Happens to me too if I sneeze too hard. Has to do with pressure in your head/eyes
 
Many describe these sparkles as ?ashes? they sorta float around then one by one disappear. Happens to me too if I sneeze too hard. Has to do with pressure in your head/eyes
I didn?t sneeze though that?s why I?m freaked out. There was a bunch of sparkles. It looked like someone opened a can of glitter and sprinkled it in the air. I?ve been worried for months now that I have HPPD. Doing everything I can go fight it off.. thought I was getting better then that happens? But thanks for your reassurance, I?m not sure what I saw today was the same thing but it?s comforting to know other people see this too??
 
I didn?t sneeze though that?s why I?m freaked out. There was a bunch of sparkles. It looked like someone opened a can of glitter and sprinkled it in the air. I?ve been worried for months now that I have HPPD. Doing everything I can go fight it off.. thought I was getting better then that happens? But thanks for your reassurance, I?m not sure what I saw today was the same thing but it?s comforting to know other people see this too??

cant guarantee it was the same thing, but it’s not about sneezing it’s about exerting force and pressure that builds up in your retina. For me it’s like 1000 tinker bells are dancing around for about 30 seconds to a minute, and then the dashing dots slowly disappear. It’s quite intense like a light show Of dots is unfolding right in front of me. For me, they zip around before disappearing. I think this the same concept as “seeing stars” if you over exert yourself. Do you have any head pressure? I recently started taking LDN and it seems to help with the head pressure.
 
cant guarantee it was the same thing, but it?s not about sneezing it?s about exerting force and pressure that builds up in your retina. For me it?s like 1000 tinker bells are dancing around for about 30 seconds to a minute, and then the dashing dots slowly disappear. It?s quite intense like a light show Of dots is unfolding right in front of me. For me, they zip around before disappearing. I think this the same concept as ?seeing stars? if you over exert yourself. Do you have any head pressure? I recently started taking LDN and it seems to help with the head pressure.
I definitely have nose and some slight ear pressure. I had massive head pressure 2 months ago and it subsided. I guess with the ear and nose pressure some head pressure could still be there
 
I definitely have nose and some slight ear pressure. I had massive head pressure 2 months ago and it subsided. I guess with the ear and nose pressure some head pressure could still be there

Yeah I have it in my sinus area as well - not actually in my head. I think that may be putting pressure on our eyes.
 
Yeah I have it in my sinus area as well - not actually in my head. I think that may be putting pressure on our eyes.
I had my eyes checked recently and the doc said the pressure behind my eyes was fine, make me wonder what?s going on but I do see your point about pressure behind eyes sometimes my eyes feel weird
 
@Stupidk Just to confirm what you've been finding out already, your eyes are fine. I've also had an eye exam recently and other than my long ago present nearsightedness he said my eyes looked good. No floaters, they're coming from the brain which will heal as we get through our LTC : )
 
@Stupidk Just to confirm what you've been finding out already, your eyes are fine. I've also had an eye exam recently and other than my long ago present nearsightedness he said my eyes looked good. No floaters, they're coming from the brain which will heal as we get through our LTC : )
Yes that it was my doctor said too about the floaters they are coming from my brain. I have a Doctors appointment Friday with a neurologist. I don?t expect him to find anything/ help me, but i read somewhere that QEEG can see if someone has hppd or not so I?m hoping to have this test done.
 
Yes that it was my doctor said too about the floaters they are coming from my brain. I have a Doctors appointment Friday with a neurologist. I don?t expect him to find anything/ help me, but i read somewhere that QEEG can see if someone has hppd or not so I?m hoping to have this test done.
Agreed something in your brain, but if you have pressure in your face, it can cause temporary visual issues. Hence why some people see stars after a hard sneeze, cough, or a heavy set at the gym. Your other visual symptoms are probably directly related to signaling in the brain, but do your best to forget it. There is no cure for HPPD, so worrrying about it/diagnosing won’t help. The mind is pretty powerful so I suggest you do your best to forget about it. The more you ignore it, the less important these visual disturbances may be to your brain. Basically if you ignore it, maybe your brain will too.

https://amp.livescience.com/32318-why-do-we-see-stars-when-sneezing.html
 
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