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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

nznity said:
This is impossible, neoplasticity and homeostasis are facts, REAL, so it's all in your mind. You needa move to recover too not just wait. You gotta work for it to get back the neurotransmitters :
Eating healthy
Supplements
Doing excercise
AMD most important of all...CHANGE YOUR MINDSET, WITH THAT NEGATIVE ATTITUDE YOULL NEVER FEEL GOOD AGAIN.
PS Also, doing sudoku, playing tetris, Rubix cube, etc
Anything that exercises your mind will help you maintain your cognitive function optimal. Stay safe
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So I give an update and I'm Mr Negative Nancy?

I climb a mountain every 2 weeks, work out 4 times a week, eat clean, take supplements and code SQL (poorly now days) for a job. I have a fuzzy head and brain fog 24/7 365 and constant headaches and have done since this started. The 14 specialists I've been too cant work it out and I've been honest with them as to what I think it is. If you want to read my history go ahead. It is possible and for me its very real.
 
Obese Ballerina said:
So I give an update and I'm Mr Negative Nancy?

I climb a mountain every 2 weeks, work out 4 times a week, eat clean, take supplements and code SQL (poorly now days) for a job. I have a fuzzy head and brain fog 24/7 365 and constant headaches and have done since this started. The 14 specialists I've been too cant work it out and I've been honest with them as to what I think it is. If you want to read my history go ahead. It is possible and for me its very real.
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Hey try cannabidiol. It's helped me improve a lot. I feel like our issues is inflammation. Cannabidiol is anti-inflammatory.
 
Obese Ballerina said:
So I give an update and I'm Mr Negative Nancy?

I climb a mountain every 2 weeks, work out 4 times a week, eat clean, take supplements and code SQL (poorly now days) for a job. I have a fuzzy head and brain fog 24/7 365 and constant headaches and have done since this started. The 14 specialists I've been too cant work it out and I've been honest with them as to what I think it is. If you want to read my history go ahead. It is possible and for me its very real.
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Then it's something else, not the mdma.
 
nznity said:
Then it's something else, not the mdma.
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I've had 4 other people reach out to me on this forum via PM who have the exact same symptoms I do for 5+ years. One has just come right after 10 years and started making noticeable gains after 8. Another said he's 5 years in too. You aren't a Dr bro and neither am I.

I'm just telling you what happened to me after taking MDMA or something was sold as MDMA. There were 10 people in the group of us who took it and I'm the only one who has ended up like this.
 
Its been about nine years since i last did MDMA (i actually cant do it because of the meds i take). However when i come off them and have fully stablized (which could take another few years) i might do a little MDMA :). I got to the point where i was only taking it once every ten months or less anyway. I must admit tho being here, makes me feel like im missing out. Still, too many bad side effects to indulge in anything near a frequent manner.
 
Obese Ballerina said:
I've had 4 other people reach out to me on this forum via PM who have the exact same symptoms I do for 5+ years. One has just come right after 10 years and started making noticeable gains after 8. Another said he's 5 years in too. You aren't a Dr bro and neither am I.

I'm just telling you what happened to me after taking MDMA or something was sold as MDMA. There were 10 people in the group of us who took it and I'm the only one who has ended up like this.
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I take mdma regularly and know a ton of ppl that do too. Never heard of a case like this, only in this forum. There aren't many studies of this in scientific research literature. The only thing that comes to my mind is that some people are really susceptible to MDMA and get damaged their serotonin receptors or maybe hsve a deficiency and can't regain serotonin, etc. Idk really, u said it "I'm not a Dr." , but time heals everything man. Never lose hope :)
 
Obese Ballerina said:
I've had 4 other people reach out to me on this forum via PM who have the exact same symptoms I do for 5+ years. One has just come right after 10 years and started making noticeable gains after 8. Another said he's 5 years in too. You aren't a Dr bro and neither am I.

I'm just telling you what happened to me after taking MDMA or something was sold as MDMA. There were 10 people in the group of us who took it and I'm the only one who has ended up like this.
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I gotta admit though, after having an intense rolling phase from the age of 17-28 plus a hardcore morphine addiction AND IV coke(crack aswell the last 2 years). If I compare how I felt pre-drugs to how I feel now- there has been some permanent downregulation of my neurotransmitters and if normal is from 1-10> 10.
After 2 years clean I feel like 8.5. Don't think I'll ever feel 10 again but it's the price to pay after living the hedonistic life of super duper Highs and nasty gruesome fucking lows. I don't regret anything though, i lived a very peculiar life full of excesses and i thank God I'm still alive to this day. Many of my mates are no longer here, somehow I managed to survive the storm. Not untouched but the scars I got remind me of those days with a bittersweet taste in the mouth. Choose Life.
 
I think my brain is fucked 😞 just keep wanting to live a normal life but I can't. Things A LOT harder to do, I am emotional unstable (easily angered) just so many symptoms. I am Brain damaged, functional but not highly.
 
Hello. Il be joining this thread as i think i got lTC

2018. Did mdma 3 times(drunk all three .225ea) inn the span of 6 weeks. 3 weeks waiting time between. This was not enough time, coupled with the alchohol. The last time i did it i dont remember much of how it ended, maybe the first 2 houres. Iknow i woke up with my clothes on in a room with closed doors. The room smelled terrible(probably excessive sweating) and i used 5-10 mins just to get out of my bed, i felt dead. I probably overheated that night. Nothing felt the same after it. I did not know about the level of toxicity back then. Had myself a Panick attack three weeks later, which turned my life around. Cognitive decline, anxiety, depression, loss of hope etc. Got better after 7 months, the anxiety/depression part.

Everything in life after this has been an attempt to cope with reality and get started on something important. like a career. Well everything went fine and i was studying engineering, geeting shitty grades and struggeling with focus etc ofc. This was in 2020-2021. Instead of seeking professional help and getting my act togheter, i Managed to start self medicating and going on a bender with ritalin and alcho and weed, which forced me to drop out and switch to a easier career. But i did not know that everything i struggled with back then really was (LTC) and addiction, and now i know i cant fuck around with anything at all anymore.

But in month 4 now. Anxiety has mostly subsided. Depression is major and cognitive issues and sleep is still a issue. Talking to doctors and shrink about it atm, think il go on a ssri since my anhedonia is constant and i i think it stems from not seeing a light and being overunn by negative thought loops. I like the positive stories from this thread, and hope i can add my own someday in the next months or years.
 
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Its been years, but I'm back here and can't tell what is going on with me. I was good for years. DP and depression were pretty much gone mainly situational and low-level. Took about 5-7 years, but my brain fog cleared up!

Sadly I am back. I was able to party, drink, and do light drugs and stay out late. I tried MDMA in incredibly small doses a few times over the past few years with zero consequences. Nothing seemed like it was impacting me. I have been smoking weed daily for the past 4 years. I was all good, as so I thought. I felt very resilient in my system and rarely had a hangover from even drinking.

Then I caught covid and got a really bad brain fog 4 months ago. I recovered from the covid, felt ok. Then 3 weeks later, did a small line of blow. A month prior, that amount would have been absolutely no big deal. I've done coke the month before. It was fine! Drugs did not seem to create any sort of relapse from LTC. I thought I was out of the woods.

I felt like the line I did just didn't sit right with me. I was ok for the weekend but felt like that line just threw my energy off. I went to work Monday and had a massive panic attack since I was quitting my job and transitioning to working for myself. That panic attack triggered all my LTC to come back. It's insane. 4 months now, I've been plagued with insomnia, depersonalization, no emotions except anxiety, and terrible brain fog. I'm so upset, I really thought my LTC stuff was gone. I wonder if covid allowed things to happen again. Why would a month before the covid, I could do coke and be fine then now a small line and all hell breaks loose? This makes me wonder if this is really a LTC or Long Covid as symptoms are incredibly overlapping and nearly identical.

Either way Shit. dont do drugs again guys!
 
I posted before about my situation. Basically I'm going through a LTC. Three months now. I've resigned to the fact that I have to wait this nightmare out. I'm doing my best to stay healthy as per advice given here.
 
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karehhai7 said:
I posted before about my situation. Basically I'm going through a LTC. Three months now. I've resigned to the fact that I have to wait this nightmare out. I'm doing my best to stay healthy as per advice given here.
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Try cannabidiol oils. They are anti-inflammatory to the body, and probably brain. could potentially be helpful.
 
i got back to 100% mood and no depression after 11 months. i started feeling better 5-6/2022 after dosing 500mg in 6/2021. i went from 0% better with no improvement to back to normal (in regard to mood) in a matter of days after ~3 months on an maoi called nardil (15x3 per day).

love to you guys and r/anhedonia. you guys gave a listening ear and kind advice when i needed it most.

TO THOSE IN RECOVERY you will all recover and you will all feel better eventually, keep seeking help and remember the only thing that will stop recovery is suicide. be safe u guys, reach out with any questions or just to talk. ❤️max
 
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pmz said:
Its been years, but I'm back here and can't tell what is going on with me. I was good for years. DP and depression were pretty much gone mainly situational and low-level. Took about 5-7 years, but my brain fog cleared up!

Sadly I am back. I was able to party, drink, and do light drugs and stay out late. I tried MDMA in incredibly small doses a few times over the past few years with zero consequences. Nothing seemed like it was impacting me. I have been smoking weed daily for the past 4 years. I was all good, as so I thought. I felt very resilient in my system and rarely had a hangover from even drinking.

Then I caught covid and got a really bad brain fog 4 months ago. I recovered from the covid, felt ok. Then 3 weeks later, did a small line of blow. A month prior, that amount would have been absolutely no big deal. I've done coke the month before. It was fine! Drugs did not seem to create any sort of relapse from LTC. I thought I was out of the woods.

I felt like the line I did just didn't sit right with me. I was ok for the weekend but felt like that line just threw my energy off. I went to work Monday and had a massive panic attack since I was quitting my job and transitioning to working for myself. That panic attack triggered all my LTC to come back. It's insane. 4 months now, I've been plagued with insomnia, depersonalization, no emotions except anxiety, and terrible brain fog. I'm so upset, I really thought my LTC stuff was gone. I wonder if covid allowed things to happen again. Why would a month before the covid, I could do coke and be fine then now a small line and all hell breaks loose? This makes me wonder if this is really a LTC or Long Covid as symptoms are incredibly overlapping and nearly identical.

Either way Shit. dont do drugs again guys!
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Avoid coke at all costs man. I remember making the mistake of having some and I relapsed hard. I’ve read elsewhere of someone relapsing for 8 months after doing coke. There seems to be some relationship with coke and LTC, im sure of it..
 
Even alcohol can cause a bad relapse, although signifcantly smaller than coke or other drugs. I'm not so sure? Has anyone experienced a bad relapse or long lasting relapse after a night out w alcohol?
 
Obese Ballerina said:
So I give an update and I'm Mr Negative Nancy?

I climb a mountain every 2 weeks, work out 4 times a week, eat clean, take supplements and code SQL (poorly now days) for a job. I have a fuzzy head and brain fog 24/7 365 and constant headaches and have done since this started. The 14 specialists I've been too cant work it out and I've been honest with them as to what I think it is. If you want to read my history go ahead. It is possible and for me its very real.
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Hey, I’ve had tension headaches, chronic fatigue and brain fog for 12 years. Before that I took mcat and mdma on weekends for about 3 years. I eat well, sleep well, exercise and minimise stress. I’ve basically completed the NHS and im no better. Brain fog is the worst! I feel like an idiot 24/7.

I did develop ibs at the same time so I have noticed a link between poor gut health and brain fog. Have you had any gut issues?
 
Norway said:
Even alcohol can cause a bad relapse, although signifcantly smaller than coke or other drugs. I'm not so sure? Has anyone experienced a bad relapse or long lasting relapse after a night out w alcohol?
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I seem to get relapse every time I drink, in particular tinnitus and anxiety. 9 months in I thought I’d be able to drink with no issues. Doesn’t seem to be the case apparently.
 
Richi1 said:
I seem to get relapse every time I drink, in particular tinnitus and anxiety. 9 months in I thought I’d be able to drink with no issues. Doesn’t seem to be the case apparently.
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Is it very bad or bearable? Does it clear up fairly quickly?

Also do you actually enjoy being drunk, can you still feel the euphoria?
 
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