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Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

I have had zero depression since i had cotards syndrome and thought i was dead. I guess thats because now i look at things like well if your not dead it can be fixed. That whole fucked up incident changed my whole outlook on life. Not to mention the fucking ptsd ugh
 
I honestly feel like my life will never get to where I want it to be. I am sick of the issues that I have, and pissed that for such a serious MH diagnoses my 'treatment' is a single hour with the psychiatrist who diagnosed me every 4 months.
 
Trying so very hard not to throw in the towel for one last hurrah of a fuck it, and i know that I'm slowly losing the battle, but at the same time I'm quickly approaching a critical mass so to speak for said fuck it. I admit that the only thing holding me back is the fact that the two people my death would crush are still alive, and I sometimes resent them for that. Such wholesome thoughts.
 
Fucking addiction brings meaning. It gets so boring when you are on methadone with no meaning or sum shit. Where them shrooms at?
 
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