Meth Meth- I don't want to quit- Is there any other way?

[delightme321]

I've been a daily meth user for about 13 years. I like meth. I'm a very functional addict: i work, eat, sleep, exercise regularly, ect.. It's like my coffee. It helps me start my day and stay focused. I'm not so much a social user because there tends to be a lot of drama with the people I know who also use. I don't like dating guys who use because dope dick is real and I'd just rather not deal with it. So here's my problem. I met a guy, who is not a user and doesn't know that I use. We just got married. He's got a job that involves a lot of travel and I'm going to be travelling with him. I don't want to quit using, but I won't be able to get any in the new cities we will be travelling to (i won't know anyone and i wouldn't be able to explain why i need to go visit some strange person even if i found someone).

So I have a few questions that I'm hoping someone out there can help me with- Is there any quality substitute for meth that is easy to get my hands on? I've read of some prescriptions that may help, but how do I get them? Are doctors readily prescribing these in the US? Has anyone successfully used the dark web to get it? I've read reviews about some sites on the dark web that were rated as being pretty credible for what they offer, but i have never heard of someone first hand who has used a website for this. Is there a way that i can make it myself in really small batches for personal use, not in batches sized for distribution?

I am fully aware that I may just have to quit and/or fess up to my husband, which I will do as a last resort if I have to. This is the exploration time before having to come clean, so the most helpful responses will not advise me to do what i already know is looming in my future.

 

[negrogesic]

How much do you use on daily basis? And how do you consume it.

There is something called "bronkaid" that you can get at a pharmacy without a prescription (you have to ask the pharmacist for it because it is kept behind the counter since it can be used to make). This is because, chemically, it is very similar in structure to meth. The effects are quite different, and I wouldn't call it a good meth substitute, but it will certainly help abit with meth withdrawal symptoms.

The other option is getting an ADHD prescription for something like adderall or dexedrine, but you'll have to do some research here as we can't facilitate the doctor shopping process here.

The darkweb is an option but the requires a substantial amount of research as well.

And making meth yourself is not something I'd recommend as it is dangerous process that can result in serious jail time, even when made in small amounts.

Weaning yourself off meth with bronkaid is probably the easiest and best option, followed by obtaining an ADHD stimulant prescription.

 

[delightme321]

I smoke it.. sometimes eat it.. about a half gram a day.

Thank you for the response.. what kind of bronkaid? Is that what I ask for or I should do some research?

Thanks so much for your help!

 

[Atomic_Decay]

I smoke it.. sometimes eat it.. about a half gram a day.

Thank you for the response.. what kind of bronkaid? Is that what I ask for or I should do some research?
“

A half gram per day is pretty significant. And given that you are “highly functional” at that dose your usage suggests you’ve developed a lot of tolerance. Which on the one hand makes stopping very unpleasant and difficult. But also a sign that you likely have an ADHD-like brain. In my 40’s a psychiatrist had no trouble accepting a current meth habit and a lifelong history of stimulant abuse as no more than understandable self-medication for undiagnosed ADHD. And I’ve had a script for 30mg a day of dexamfetamine ever since. And had 5 years totally sober when i took it . Although presently preferring the meth and stockpiling my scripts.

But I did find that simply substitution dexamfetamine for meth doesn’t work. And several trial treatment programs have found the same thing. Many people have behavioural triggers for relapsing with meth. And long-term meth users often have significant reduction in executive functioning/impulse control. It doesn’t take much for it suddenly to seem a good idea to have just one pufff…and then they are off and running for god knows how long.

I would tend to follow all the usual best practice advice for quitting meth completely and, if you do get a script, think of the Adderrall as a kind of post-quitting supplement if that makes sense. I don;‘t know how many breaks you’ve had in 13 years or how recent the last one was..but tapering down, quitting, or trying to substitute pharmaceutical level doses of another stimulant is still potentially something that is hard to hide for weeks or more.

There is some research that is positive about taking a combination of naltrexone and bupropion to withdraw from / quit meth. But there are always going to be a behavioural part of changing your pattern of use or quitting. And you’d likely need a dr prepared to prescribe them off-label and in many places that’s just not an option.

I don’t want to offer unsolicited relationship advice but more than a few people here have worked through a similar situation situation as you. You might some helpful threads in the Sex, Loce, Relationships sub-forums.

 

[Vagabond696]

Listen to my man A.D.

Meth is fucking hard to come off. And half a gram per day is a massive habit, so you're gonna have a rough couple of months.

I would start in advance by tapering down your usage whilst investigating the suggested options.

 

[Keif' Richards]

This really can't work. Something will have to give in this situation. You will likely have to choose between the things you want in your life. You could set your sights on a prescription for something like Amphetamine, but the highest anyone will write for is going to be 80mg Amphetamine. Considering Amphetamine is about half as potent as Methamphetamine and if you're getting straight D-Methamphetamine as is common in some areas, this would make your drugs about 4 times as potent by weight. This means that, in the very best of circumstances, you could end up with 1/10th of your average daily dose. In short, it will not be enough. You will probably be having to make some very big changes in your life.

You will most likely have to adapt to a life without Methamphetamine, which will likely entail months of hard work in getting yourself right. Either way, you're probably going to have no option but to tell your partner what's up. If you're not running to buy drugs, you're going to have to have a story for why you are asleep for 7 straight days at a time. There will need to be some honesty. It will be a major life change, but it will be a positive one. We are here to help you whatever you choose, but there is no true, practical substitute for what you're doing right now.

 

[awrt]

I wish you all the best OP. like others have said you need to tell your partner.

I know a totally different drug but I was addicted to benzos without my wife knowing for approx 2 years. telling her was the best thing I ever did as it broke the cycle of my addiction. it was a rough ride with lots of slip ups, tears and arguments but today I am now benzo free and our relationship is better than ever.

you can do it but the first thing you need to do is own up to your partner.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

Lemme get this straight. You MARRIED the guy and he doesn't know you use?!

... Even if he's drug-tolerant, and I'm guessing he isn't or you would have told him already, he will feel you betrayed his trust when he finds out, and sooner or later he WILL find out if you keep using.
You'll be lucky if he doesn't leave you.

It's irresponsible to let somebody commit to you in such a major way while hiding something that many people have extremely strong personal views on. I did that and it nearly cost me my relationship. He still feels he entered into it under false pretenses and yep, I consider it a selfish move on my part. At least I didn't take it as far as fucking marriage before owning up.

 

[SuspiciousBiscuit]

Lemme get this straight. You MARRIED the guy and he doesn't know you use?!

This is not unusual. I started using Ice everyday a few months before I met my now wife about 4 years ago. I smoke/parachute everyday. While shes up and about the house and we are out doing stuff together, and she is none the wiser. I maintain my appearance, have perfect teeth (thank god for braces) and I dont act like a wacked out junkie. We are upper middle class and have a nice house, expensive cars, and great friends who are all drug free (that I am aware of) It stabilizes me and helps me get shit done. I have over a gram a day habit, and easily burn through an ounce in a week on average.

It's irresponsible to let somebody commit to you in such a major way while hiding something that many people have extremely strong personal views on. I did that and it nearly cost me my relationship. He still feels he entered into it under false pretenses and yep, I consider it a selfish move on my part. At least I didn't take it as far as fucking marriage before owning up.

This is entirely based on what kind of person their partner is. In my situation? oh yeah for sure my wife would cut my balls off and then throw me in jail. Shes the town doctor, and has a reputation. I get that. But for some people, those who are educated on drugs, this is just a bump in the road. and a reasonable person who hasnt been robbed by their partner or had stuff come missing (typical junkie behavior) would want to help their partner and not ostracize them.

 

[Xorkoth]

This is not unusual. I started using Ice everyday a few months before I met my now wife about 4 years ago. I smoke/parachute everyday. While shes up and about the house and we are out doing stuff together, and she is none the wiser. I maintain my appearance, have perfect teeth (thank god for braces) and I dont act like a wacked out junkie. We are upper middle class and have a nice house, expensive cars, and great friends who are all drug free (that I am aware of) It stabilizes me and helps me get shit done. I have over a gram a day habit, and easily burn through an ounce in a week on average.

This is entirely based on what kind of person their partner is. In my situation? oh yeah for sure my wife would cut my balls off and then throw me in jail. Shes the town doctor, and has a reputation. I get that. But for some people, those who are educated on drugs, this is just a bump in the road. and a reasonable person who hasnt been robbed by their partner or had stuff come missing (typical junkie behavior) would want to help their partner and not ostracize them.

I wish you luck with that. Honestly. But I can promise you that one day the truth will come out. I hid my drug use from my ex-wife for 10 years. I mean we smoked weed and drank together, but she thought tripping was "stupid kid stuff" and didn't approve of any other drugs either, and I was tripping, doing stimulants, and an opiate addict, all under her nose. Until one day, it wasn't under her nose anymore. Somehow I actually thought I could keep it up indefinitely.

In my case, it was ultimately a good thing, not only because I stopped living a lie, but because she was abusive and controlling and I REALLY needed to break up with her when the red flags started coming out, instead of stay with her and lie to her in order to live the way I wanted to.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

If you need to be on drugs it's best to be on pharmaceutical ones.

Something gonna happen if not.

You'll get poisoned one day (fentanyl, heavy metals etc.) or some other collateral damage with street drugs.

 

[Stephy]

I say your gonna had to learn that bottle method of making it, but careful that can still blow you up... and yeah your probably gonna have to have a talk with him. What's his view on drugs?

 

[SuspiciousBiscuit]

I say your gonna had to learn that bottle method of making it, but careful that can still blow you up... and yeah your probably gonna have to have a talk with him. What's his view on drugs?

I would probably guess that he is not in favor of drugs, given the fact that she’s having to be so secretive and asked strangers online for advice on how to obtain or manufacture said substances.

 

[Stephy]

I would probably guess that he is not in favor of drugs, given the fact that she’s having to be so secretive and asked strangers online for advice on how to obtain or manufacture said substances.

Of course, but I wanted to confirm

 

[Keif' Richards]

I'm always dumbfounded when I hear stories like this. If I were drinking again, my s/o would know, as I would crash through her bedroom door and 911 would have to resuscitate me. It would be a difficult thing to deny. I was never above blaming an absolutely insane level of itoxication on different drugs as "excessive tiredness".

Although, I spoke too soon, because I'm totally forgetting the women that didn't know I was a Heroin addict. Opioids I couild maybe get away with, for a time, but not more than three months at most and in those months, there would be multiple situations in which the only reason I wasn't caught was my girl's desire to believe that I was not a liar and a good person.

OP, you are what many would consider a "functional addict". You have time on your side in a way that many drug addicts do not. You can pad your landing, call your job, find a program you like etc. You can do all that shit and set yourself up for a real nice, soft landing.

Getting off of Meth will be Hell. You will probably wish you were dead for weeks. It will probably be the hardest thing you've ever done or ever will do in your life. Withdrawal is agony, pain and misery. You will have to learn how to live all over again. Whatever, lots of stuff is hard. The best things in life are worth fighting for and I consider love to be the best thing in life.

You can have it all. You can have the person you love to back you up and help you through this. The alternative is likely something like: making it a few more years, at most, in this "functional" state, at which point everything will end in catastrophe. You will then experience a more intense agony, ultimately either withdrawing for one reason or another, just without the person you love or ultimaltely lapsing into chronic insanity as chronic Methamphetamine users do, becoming a non-person. Your current boyfriend could be driving by you in City Hall Park years from now with his new girlfriend and be embarrassed to say he ever knew you.

I hate to be so melodramatic, but Methamphetamine is a harsh bitch. We are all here to help you out. You can talk to us, ask us questions, everything. A lot of us have done stuff like this before. We care about you and want you to be safe and happy, which you absolutely can be.

 

[tarman]

all the decisions in front of you are going to be unpleasant. you can continue to not tell your spouse and when you go on this traveling journey, you'll withdraw hard and be completely lifeless, which you could say is attributed to covid or something if you really want to up the drama. you can smuggle drugs up your ass while you're traveling. get some nice aloe vera lube, seal your drugs in a baggie or two or three, and shove it up there. or you can come clean to your spouse and hope for the best. I think that you will find, of all three solutions, the best one is actually telling your spouse even if they divorce you. as others have said, there isn't really anything that's going to replace the meth that you can take in a nice neat little pill.

regarding the meth use in general, I'm not trying to be holier than now but damn, .5 g a day? at some point you and that other person who's doing a gram a day or going to have some sort of medical impact, be at your arteries, your heart, or all the neurons that have been deleted. both your partners may find out unexpectedly when you have a trip to the hospital. anyway, good luck. but I think there is a consensus you're not going to be able to get away with it by just cold turkeying it with some pseudoephedrine or Adderall. but hey, maybe mixing the two will mitigate some withdrawal effects. the problem there is that pseudoephedrine is highly regulated and they track your purchases so you'd likely mow through it and get flagged for buying it too often.

 

[CFC]

If you went in for addiction treatment, in many places they'd initially attempt to substitute your (massive) meth consumption with something more measured and controlled like a daily dose of vyvanse, plus mental coping strategies, therapy etc. Trying to do that by yourself without all the support infrastructure and the detailed planning that goes in to it is going to be exceptionally difficult. It would be even for a person with access to the drugs and a great deal of knowledge and experience of the process, because as I'm sure you know taking on and conquering these addictive behaviors is - though not impossible for the highly motivated - incredibly difficult regardless. Never underestimate just how powerful these hard-wired habits and compulsions are. Good luck whatever you choose to do!

 

[Keif' Richards]

If you went in for addiction treatment, in many places they'd initially attempt to substitute your (massive) meth consumption with something more measured and controlled like a daily dose of vyvanse, plus mental coping strategies, therapy etc. Trying to do that by yourself without all the support infrastructure and the detailed planning that goes in to it is going to be exceptionally difficult. It would be even for a person with access to the drugs and a great deal of knowledge and experience of the process, because as I'm sure you know taking on and conquering these addictive behaviors is - though not impossible for the highly motivated - incredibly difficult regardless. Never underestimate just how powerful these hard-wired habits and compulsions are. Good luck whatever you choose to do!

In America, it would be considered outside of the norm in addiction treatment to treat a user of Methamphetamine with Amphetamine of any kind. I don't have a lot of data regarding the usage of Amphetamines for maintenance (analogous to say Methadone for the treatment of Opiate addiction). I can say that non-methylated Amphetamine seems to be pretty well-tolerated at standard, approved dosages, even chronically. Methamphetamine is known to be neurotoxic, especially when abused at high dosages.

The point I'm getting at is, I truly support the idea of using a weaker stimulant to step down onto, but it's far from the mainstream of practice in the United States. Amphetamines and stimulants in general are still viewed as "something best to be immediately ceased when addiction is detected for the wellbeing of the user". It took decades for us to arrive at this concept with Opioid maintenance and in that regard, Opioids are really the only drug in the United States for which an individual can go, tell a doctor, "yes, I'm out of control. I can't stop. I won't stop and may God act as my witness" in which the treatment will entail you being prescribed a drug of the same class, that acts in a practically identical manner.

I've heard of known Amphetamine addicts getting prescriptions, but like I said, this is not in the mainstream. For the record, I believe this practice would be essentially illegal per the Harrison Act, which explicitly states that no known addict can be legally prescribed their drug simply for the fact of their addiction", with drugs like Methadone and Buprenorphine having to be specifically legislated into being for the purpose. I'm over-complicating this. You might find a sympathetic doctor. I don't believe it would hurt to try.

 

[Landrew]

I am fully aware that I may just have to quit and/or fess up to my husband, which I will do as a last resort if I have to. This is the exploration time before having to come clean, so the most helpful responses will not advise me to do what i already know is looming in my future.

If I had a wife I dont think shed be happy for long if I quit amps, lol.

 

[Vagabond696]

Wow, you are the female me.

I am the exact same way; I use to function, don't want to date another user etc etc.

I created an account just to reply to you to tell you that yes, the dark web is THE BEST way to get what you want/need; I will never risk in-person transactions again. ASAP is, in my opinion, the best marketplace out there; only uses BTC and Monero, so keep that in mind.

<redacted>

You're asking for a ban, dude. Sourcing discussion is not allowed here.