So gross.¹
Were energy drinks stronger in the past? Lol, do we need a thread called “
What Is Wrong With Red Bull Today?”
- Some will claim 90s Red Bull was made from the root oil, taurafrass, to get taurafrole, whereas today's RB is made w/synthetic oils from China—like para-methyl-taurinone-glycidate
- Some will claim new RB causes an underwhelming energy drink experience, a putative phenomenon known as “Meh'd Bull”…
- I'll ship samples of it to International Inner G-Con / Troll in Spain and they'll tell me it contains 71.25% MDMA, 2% Taurine, and 29.19% unidentified compounds²
Like thanks for taking my money and giving me nothing useful in return. Like a philosophy degree.
- That's like making a drinking game out of court-ordered AA³
- Like asking: If omnipotent, can God microwave a burrito so hot even God cannot eat it?⁴
As an 80s kid in the U.S. I loved Hi-C's tangerine-flavored juice box drinks, “
Ecto Cooler” whose shameless kid-pandering mascot was the hovering, snot-booger-esque ghost wad,
Slimer, from the Sat. morning cartoon spin-off,
The Real Ghostbusters. Those who remember it know the shameless cash-grab of which I speak and probs the insulin-spiking, diabetic-coma-causing, artificially flavored liquid candy we swilled in cafeterias and friends' houses after school sometimes. They disappeared circa '91 while we were distracted by Crystal Clear Pepsi, Koosh Balls, and Captain Planet or something.
Then in 2011 I found a nostalgic-swag-peddling company on AliBaba selling “from-formula” Ecto Cooler in reprint packaging, shipped direct. Ordered some though I couldn't remember what they were like, nor how long it had been, only that I loved it as a kid…
but as soon as I tasted it, two things were clear:
1. it was definitely the same sugar water from childhood (or a
very close reproduction of same), and
2. the shit tastes like the high-fructose, pancreas-palpitating, rot-gut syrup of nutritional anti-value that it is and always was.
But you know, kids are attracted to sugar the way Taylor Hawkins was attracted to Colombian speedballs⁵, and I was no different as a kid. I would mix that Columbian Bink-Bink with an oxy, a couple xannies, a few Wellbutrin, a point and a half of meth, and a whiff of Afghan #4 just to take the edge off, oh and two 30 mg Adderall IR, a valium for the road and six ambien for later… and why not three tabs of blotter acid since I likely won't feel much anxiety.
Rockstar energy drinks or meth?⁶
Lol, j/k, but I can't cosign this one.
Meth does not go well w/MDMA, to me. I stop rolling as the meth takes over, every time.
Dopaminergic stims override serotonergic entactogens/psychedelics. This can lead to anxiety / panic states—plus the nervous skin-crawl, uncomfortable paranoia, clenched muscles, bruxism, tachycardia, and clammy feeling of too much adrenaline can present. In addition to being a triple-monoamine-releasing agent it's also a moderate 5-HT-reuptake inhibitor that blocks MDMA from travelling up the serotonin transporter where it would otherwise bind at sites that control the presynaptic storage of 5-HT, affecting their voltage-gated calcium-ion channels & producing MDMA's signature 5-HT flood-release.
Meth takes over quickly though, so perhaps meth binds more competitively at dopamine sites in the brain, forcing out the excess serotonin spill-over. If this is true, one
could argue taking meth near the end of an MDMA experience
actually mitigates neurotoxicity.⁷ Certainly this is true of taking a single dose of an SSRI antidepressant at the end of a roll… But it's equally likely any such gain in harm reduction could be offset by the potential damages of methamphetamine, especially in the hands of people who don't know how to use it responsibly nor how to avoid its pitfalls.
Educating people on these dangers is paramount to creating a more responsible recreational drug culture.⁸
__| FOOTNOTES |____________________
- The sugar-free especially tastes like … cancer. Then again, the version with sugar tastes like diabetes, so you pick yer poison.
- When I point-out those add up to 102.44%, they'll claim confusion with a “language barrier” despite the fact I speak Spanish and wrote to them en español. They'll lisp out some crap about Castilian Spanish, but idk I stopped listening and got lost in a reverie wondering who was the cruel prankster thought it was funny to use the word "lisp" as the name for a lisp, knowing the condition precludes the proper pronunciation of the word for that very condition? Seriously, what kind of rat bastard sociopath does that to people with a speaking disorder?
- Take a shot every time someone says, “alcoholic” or “addict”, and make it a double anytime someone says “cross-addicted”. Also, every time someone gets a coffee refill → drink. Any time you notice someone asking someone for a cigarette → drink. If they ask you for a cigarette → make it a double. If they ask you for a drink? → get a cab home and stop fucking up AA, asswipe.
- If so, God's not omnipotent since God can't eat said burrito, but if not, well God wouldn't be omnipotent then since God can't produce a sufficiently nuked-to-the-point-of-deicidal microwave burrito.
Conversely one could consider: “If omnipotent, can God create a prison so secure even God cannot escape?” A self-imprisoned deity trapped in a bundle of 5-MeO-DMT. Then God remembers: omnipotence does not bow to paradox, and as the divine springs free of this thought experimental prison a thought occurs to El Dios: God isn't real and immediately
- Too soon, I know. Rest in peace, buddy.
- Just kidding.
- But I doubt it.
- Thanks for reading this and indulging me w/r/t writing style