Had the privilege of meeting two of my favorite BLers and their friend the other night, I hosted @xtcgrrrl
and @Burnt Offerings
(for the second time) at my house for a few hours prior to their first day before Glow Fest in DC. They were as kind, generous, and loving as they act on BL, and it was all good vibes. I was blessed with a red Tesla E-pill, and an indeterminate amount of Tina, but realistically only a couple good sized lines. But they sure have kept me humming.
That was one of the most cathartic rolls I've ever had, solo dolo in my bedroom, mostly expressing things that needed to be expressed to some important people in my life, and I think I got an acceptable response in my perception. Idk, for the first time in a while I feel like I'm really growing past some of the toxic behaviors I engaged in for years growing up, particularly in relationships. The grief over losing my gf to an OD recently feels at least temporarily lifted, and I now just cherish the fact that I got to know for as long as we did and we loved as hard as we did.
I feel like now I've faced enough trauma that I'm comfortably numb to whatever life throws at me, so I just wanna have fun and make the most of it. My insecurities have lifted, as well as some depression.
And here's the kicker!!! There's an after-party nearby where a few djs will be spinning til mad early, and I got myself almost two gs of some decent blow to carry my tired ass through the night and have a good old fashioned raging shit kicker (haven't slept in two nights)