MXE: My problem child

Peacephrog1972

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The first time i used MXE was summer of 2011, and I liked it right away. AS a matter of fact I LOVED it! It had all the things i always looked for in a drug. For me it was the perfect drug.

My background? That was at the age of 39. I started drinking at age 16, and smoking pot at 18. The pot became daily. The drinking was a few times a week, normally between 6-12 beers. I tried some psychs in my 20's, acid and shrooms. Did a lot of acid in my twenties...several hundred hits through the years. Had MDA a few times. Randomly did benzos and opiates. Random cocaine use. Around the age of 30 the drinking and benzo use became increased. If there was ever a chance to do a new psychedelic, i did it. Loved them.

Fast forward to that summer. Loved MXE so much that i ordered some online, 10g. When I used it was normally 30mg or so, 3-4 times through the night. It started out 1-2 times a week. Throughout the next year my usage increased to 4-5 times a week. I was "hooked". I had never really been hooked on anything before...i mean if the pot ran out oh well. But this stuff my wife did not like at all. I didn't talk right, i didn't walk right. She would tell me she was leaving me if i didn't stop using it. SO I would call my buddy up an give him my bag. And it never failed within a week I would be calling him back, saying i need to get that bag back!!

But I had a definite "recipe" for my use. Normaly it would start with a few beers, a few benzos, and a dip of MXE. Of course I smoked killer kind all day. If i had vicodin or perks they would get town into the mix also. I would start the at 3-4 in the afternoon and go until 3-4 in the morning. The bad art of t was i couldn't eat on this substance, so I began to lose weight. AS a matter of fact I went from 195 in the summer of 2011 down to 160 the spring of 2012! This stuff was ruling my life. And who knows....I may of been performing a chemical lobotomy on myself.....this was a research chemical you know!

Ended up in rehab may of 2012. Noone in rehab ad ever heard of MXE.

Have not touched it since, although the thought has crossed my mind. But I have not and I really think I will not because of the abuse potential for me.

Why did I share this story??? Maybe to help another addict I guess. The stuff hooked me hard. Never before had I been "hooked" on anything. dangerous substance in my book. Easily my favorite drug of all time.
 

PriestTheyCalledHim

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Welcome to bluelight.

People can, and do get addicted to all sort of drugs. I know people who were abusing multiple drugs like benzos, cannabis, opiates, cocaine, Ketamine, and alcohol and got addicted psychologically to all of those drugs, and physically to the ones that are physically addictive.

Are you completely sober now? There are forums on here for people who are sober, or who have struggled with drug abuse/addiction before.
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/forums/269-Sober-Living
 

FlawedByDesign

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Glad to see someone kick it. I love mxe but I can't seem to use it responsibly. I remember when it first came out I tried it once and poured two grams down the drain, my subconscious self immediately knew that I should just leave it alone. Yet I still talked myself into using nearly every day for months in 2013. After a six month break I am currently on my longest binge. I always rationalize buying 5 more grams thinking that it's going to be banned and I need to store some and the cycle continues. I feel terrible about not being able to use it responsibly. I think this thread could serve as a good warning. Mxe is a beautiful dominatrix that demands respect.
 
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Peacephrog1972

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I am not completely sober now...i still drink on occasion, and trip on occasion......but for me, that is sober!!!!

If i picked it back up i would be in the same boat......it would turn into daily thing for sure!
 

vortech

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Thanks for sharing this! Reading this tonight is going to make it easier for me to not do any tomorrow. I'm due for a break.
 

phuckingnutz

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Thanks for sharing, my GF and I are still in the throes of post MXE abuse100-200 mg IM a night, every night till we ran out, 15-20 grams?
People always say there isn't a "jones" with this shit, but my exp says different, maybe not physical, but definitely psychological...everything is "mundane" again and things just aren't as "fun" anymore...a very FUCKED-UP attitude, IMO, but there it is anyway....am thinking of re-upping, but I know exactly where it will go, just a "wait and see" game now...3-meo-pcp was also a big player as of late...definitely "moreish" stuff, but I still love it...ATM.
Time will tell.
 
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Jesusgreen

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MXE is a nice substance when purchased in small amounts - being a dissociative and also having some serotonin reuptake inhibitive effects (like traditional anti-depressants) it makes for a very comfy evening, and anything comfortable, when around in large amounts, is easy to overdo. Every time I had MXE I had a gram or less, but I almost always went through it day by day until I ran out, with only a few exceptions.

I've found the same to be true of Ketamine and most other dissociatives, I have no problem avoiding buying them, and I've only done so once in the last like, 16 months? However whenever I bought them I always found myself coming up with a reason to use them each day until they were gone, because just dosing up, putting on a nice movie and melting away for a few hours is an attractive feeling.

Unfortunately some people are less fortunate and also find themselves stocking up on more - for me the trick to not wanting to buy more was just that I had something else always lined up whether it be an event, a friend to meet, a game to play, a film to watch, or just a nice joint to smoke, and I'd do that the day after I ran out and then by the day after I was more interested in what I wanted to do with my next day than purchasing more of whatever dissociative I'd consumed a couple of days earlier, and it was out of my thoughts.

I don't know if this'd work for others but the one recommendation I can give is if you do buy any dissociative, don't "stock up" or buy in bulk, if you must stock up, get a couple weeks worth and send it to a post box in another city or to a friend who isn't interested in using it. I've yet to meet a single person who's purchased any dissociative and stuck to their initial dosage plan unless it was daily/bi-daily usage, so buy a few days or a weeks worth, and when you want it again in a few months, buy some more then or whatever. :)

Methoxetamine is a popular enough drug that despite being banned in many places you'll get your hands on it if you really want to, so there's no need to buy up in advance.
 

Peacephrog1972

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Id buy 10g every couple of months.....at the end i said fuck it and bought 100g.......which was a poor decision, because for whatever reason, it was not of the same quality, even though it was from the same vendor.....very fluffy, and if i went over a certain amount (50mg or so) i would black out every time, which had NEVER happened on before batches! But it was so much cheaper when buying the 100g bag........

for me it was very moorish, and very much had me psychologically addicted...when mixed with alcohol, benzos and pot it was everything i had ever looked for in a drug!!
 

Jesusgreen

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Id buy 10g every couple of months.....at the end i said fuck it and bought 100g.......which was a poor decision, because for whatever reason, it was not of the same quality, even though it was from the same vendor.....very fluffy, and if i went over a certain amount (50mg or so) i would black out every time, which had NEVER happened on before batches! But it was so much cheaper when buying the 100g bag........

for me it was very moorish, and very much had me psychologically addicted...when mixed with alcohol, benzos and pot it was everything i had ever looked for in a drug!!

50mg is a fairly high dose with pure Methoxetamine. If you were eyeballing (not suggesting you were, but more people do it here than they'd like to admit) doses then 50mg could be anywhere from 25 to 100mg give or take given the rather unique consistency MXE has and how very impossible it is to eye - coming from someone who tried this initially when experimenting with it and saw that comparing my eyed doses on a scale showed massive inconsistency, three 20mg piles would come out to 8mg, 25mg, and 40mg, or something similar for example. I especially mention this because you mention it being fluffy, and fluffy powder tends to be a lot less visually predictable when it comes to weight (not that -anything- is visually predictable in such a way).

Mixing with alcohol, benzos, or other GABAergic drugs makes blackout at such doses a pretty much sure-fire bet.

Anyway glad you managed to end your habit, congratulations :) Keep at it, not worth ever making a return to it based on what you said about your story and your purchase amounts, and what it did to you.. all too much, you're lucky to be free of the habit now and I applaud you for being able to accomplish it, beating an addiction is no easy feat.
 

phatass

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MXE like Ketamine is either love or hate IMO... I had a bad K problem for 1 and a half years, "ruinned" my uni days, lot's of fun journeys, but little work, failed uni... no diploma= dead end job....= codeine/promethazine to cope.... i could go on.

Glad 7-8 years later i'm in a far better place, allthough on meds, and enjoy psychs and dissos, i am on the right track, and have aquired a certain stability, even though i'll still need meds, docs, therapy, and leniancy with work... things r improving, gotta stay on track and on the up and up!

(random answer, sowy OP)
 

Mr. Meowfish

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First off - I want to say not many people are going to like this Post.

OP - You're problem isn't the MXE - you're problem is the fact that you INSIST on using it with as many other drugs as you can get your hands on. MXE is a HUGE Potentiator of other Compounds - ESPECIALLY OPIATES - taking a "few" Benzo's, which to me is 3 or 4 at a minimum, is 1. Completely Pointless as all they do is just get you even Sloppier and in more of a Stupor - Add Alcohol to the mix - You Probably look like a Heroin Addict falling over yourself. I have a question....When was the LAST TIME that You use MXE BY ITSELF ONLY with maybe a little bit of Weed and maybe 1 Benzo MAXIMUM to even out the MXE as it can be a Bit Speedy some Batches - A bit too much for some people, so they need a Benzo.

You are COMPLETELY MISSING THE POINT of MXE!! MXE is meant to HELP YOU Re-Program the way you Think and Use Drugs, when used for it's Psychedelia. I've too tried MXE in the Combo Platters with Opiates and Benzo's and even to the extent of Shooting Shots of Heroin with a little 25-35mg Booster of MXE Injected IV for Added Euphoria. While I was in this Usage Pattern - I never learned a FUCKING THING about ANYTHING - I was just in a constant Stupor,and for a REALLY Reasonable price at that. It wasn't until I QUIT USING ALL THE OTHER BULLSHIT THAT I REALIZED THE POTENTIAL OF MXE.

I've been using MXE daily since it 1st came available in the UK, around 2010-2011. It wasn't until around mid 2011 that I started realizing - I wasn't USING MXE even tho I WAS Doing it on a Daily Basis - I was USING IT to POTENTIATE other drugs that I had become SUPER Tolerant too and could no longer get a High off of, Heroin Included. I had been an off and on Junkie for almost 7 years - Strictly IV, none of the other Wasteful ROA's. One day I decided to try an IV Shot of MXE BY ITSELF, no other drugs involved or allowed, at around 50-60mgs, as I even have a Huge Dissociative Tolerance from using DXM for Months at a time in my early 20's.

I QUICKLY found that I preferred MXE by ITSELF, not as part of a Cocktail. OP - I don't even think you know what MXE is all about or What it has to Offer You. The Psychedelic Headspace is one of the MOST BEAUTIFUL places I've ever visited on ANY PSYCHEDELIC DRUG. MXE has taught me deeper lessons that LSD, Mushrooms, DMT - You name it. I am NOT a Heroin addict anymore, and I haven't been for THREE YEARS. The Adventures I've gone on with MXE helped to Re-Program my brain to Remember what "Fun" ACTUALLY is. It even for the 1st time, took away my Temptation to USE Heroin to the extent, I could allow my friends who were still Addicted to Heroin to shoot up at MY house IN FRONT OF ME (A HUGE Trigger that in the Past REQUIRED I Use some too), be Offered free Top Notch Tan Powder, all I could shoot, for FREE - and I turned them the fuck down. It GAVE ME the Self Control, and Taught Me about and how and why I should have and deserve to have the Self Esteem to NOT NEED all that other Bullshit in my life. I saw the Problems and the Destitute Chaos that my friends lived - and how I as a Human Being had changed and turned a corner compared to the life they were still living. Being around them while they were using started to make me NAUSEOUS at the site of Heroin, or even Opiate Pills like Dilaudid and the OG Opana which were my FAVORITE HIGH EVER....I THOUGHT.

MXE SAVED MY LIFE. It taught me how to Love ME for ME again, to have Self Respect, to have Empathy, to Love Again, to care about our Planet Earth again and to nurture Her and Pick up Trash after People, to go for long Walk in Nature appreciating Her Beauty instead of just Sitting on my Couch in a Stupor. I became the Man I had always' WISHED I could be, and even at times when my MXE use was pretty goddamn heavy, 1-4 Grams a Month, used Mainly IV with Bumps now and again Nasally when I was out and about at a Show / Concert. I used MXE Daily for a good 2-2.5 Years with 2-3 Month Tolerance Breaks periodically, or when Quality MXE wasn't available.
When it was gone and I ran out - I still felt AMAZING for up to a Month after - that's how long the Afterglow stayed around for me. It was Beautiful. I went from being in the Position you're in OP - to NO Longer being a Heroin Addict using 1-1.5 Grams of High Quality Tan Powder Daily. When I didn't have a drop of MXE for MONTH'S, the Lessons I learned, the Behaviors I Learned STAYED WITH ME, even without Using the Drug. I gradually even learned to Respect MXE and started using from 1-4 G's a month, to maybe 1-1.5 G's a month.

MXE is the BEST TEACHER I had ever found - and in my early to mid 20's I was a HUGE Psychedelic Head before full blown H addiction. A 10 strip of LSD was my usual DOC, or 3-400mgs of DMT smoked all day when I could find it. I absolutely cannot stand Mushrooms now. They make me nauseous and feel disgusting. There are much Cleaner and More Beautiful compounds out there - but that's a whole other topic.

MXE is the LSD of my generation, people currently late 20's - early 30's. My Generation are a bunch of Selfish, Egocentric, Drug Gluttons who will try ANYTHING whether they know what it is or not, whether they're informed about the Drug they're about to use or not. We live in a time as Human Being's where we've become Egotistical ASSHOLES. MXE will show YOU just how Important You ACTUALLY are in relation to the Universe. We are nothing, a grain of sand in an enormous Cosmos - so Beautiful beyond what we can even comprehend, we are barely RELEVANT in the Bigger Scheme of Things. My Generation need's a Bitch Slap from Mother Nature to get our shit the fuck together and get away from all of this Lil Wayne, Sizzurup Drinking, Perk and Oxy loving, Alcoholic, Heroin loving, Meth Smoking, Anything we can our hands on BULLSHIT.

Sure, I openly Admit, I went thru my MXE "Abuse" phase if you can call it that - but when a Drug is NOT Physically Addictive, has been PROVEN to actually help you REPAIR DAMAGE you've done to Receptors and Neurons in our Brains that we've destroyed over years of abusing other Drugs - and to top it off, has such a Long and Beautiful Afterglow that leaves you without Cravings for the Drug, Without EVER having a HINT OF WITHDRAWALS.................There is something Special about this Compound that has I GUARANTEE YOU Saved and Re-Programmed more lives than you could EVER IMAGINE.

OP - You need to give MXE a try ALONE, no other Substance ALLOWED and see what it's REALLY ALL ABOUT. You weren't and AREN'T "Addicted" to MXE - You're using it as a Scapegoat to not have to deal with the other REAL Drug Addictions that you are failing to see Manifest Themselves in your life. Your problems are the other Drugs and using the MXE to potentiate them, Instead of Listening to the Inner God and Goddess inside of Yourself trying to Teach You to be a BETTER VERSION of Yourself. Look DEEP within OP - You aren't an MXE Addict, although you may enjoy it and get a bit wild - who hasn't had those nights with MXE - But the fact is after reading your story.....Your problem is with the Other Drugs you Mentioned, not JUST the MXE.

I used MXE daily IV for over a Year Straight, ran out, quit Cold Turkey just to see what the Withdrawals were going to be like and what I had got myself into.............NOT ONE BIT OF WITHDRAWALS AFTER A YEAR OF DAILY 2-3 INJECTION ABUSE. MXE is NOT ADDICTIVE - It's just so Fucking Educational and Beautiful that you don't want to stop learning and growing as a Human Being when you ACTUALLY use it as a Dissociative / Pchychedelic. MXE could and I would bet money has saved A LOT of Heroin Addicts to finally STAY Clean and ENJOY Being Clean.

Be more realistic with yourself OP.................MXE isn't your problem - Everything else in your getting High Ritual was the Problem - that other Compounds just had you Tricked into blaming the New Guy on the Drug Block. Go to Rehab for an ACTUAL Drug Addiction. MXE is way more Addictive in the way Weed is. When you've got it, shit's awesome - When you don't, EH, who really gives a fuck - or like Sex, DAMN that feels good, I want MORE MORE MORE - but when you stop having access, or have too much, too often - It gets Boring and you chill out on your Use and The Cravings.

MXE Saved My Life - Straight Up. Not only did it fix and help Mental Issues, Addiction Problems, Self Esteem Issues, Weight Problems because it inspired me to work out and take care of myself - MXE fixed 15-20 YEARS of Treatment Resistant Depression in DAYS. 3-MeO-2-Oxo-PCE should be up there with LSD, MDMA, MDA, DMT, MUSHROOMS and beyond with the Healing Potential it HAS. It is a TRULY SPECIAL Compound that DESERVES RESPECT and not Ignorant Abuse and Disrespect. MXE is a Beautiful Woman who Deserves to be treated like a Lady on the Town - Hold the Door Open for Her, Pay for the Dinner, Wait Respectfully until SHE wants to finally give it up to You. MXE is worth Putting In That Extra Work - Just like You would for Your Dream Woman - Take Your Time to get to know her. She'll never do you Wrong or Dirty - That's what you do to Yourself when you LACK the Necessary Respect.

I don't mean to be a Dick OP - But your Post really Bothered Me, Especially with a Looming Ban that could ruin Access for Millions to a Compound that has Saved FAR More Lives than it has ruined. MXE can hurt the Under-Experienced, Amateur that Uses It / Abuses It - but is such a POWERFUL HEALING TOOL to have Access to and in the RIGHT HANDS - like my friend Vortech and Myself.................That You need to come to the Realization Sir - YOU have a DRUG PROBLEM, NOT AN MXE PROBLEM.

Quit Lying to Yourself - It helps nothing and only stops Personal Growth. I know I sound like a Dick - but so do You. Man Up and Deal with you REAL Addictions / Addictive Personality. The fact you ACTUALLY went to Rehab for MXE is ASTOUNDING. Did You ever Suck a Cock to get Money for MXE..............THEN YOU'RE NOT FUCKING ADDICTED. Did you ever Rob Anyone, or Hold up a Gas Station............THEN IT'S NOT THE MXE. Get in Touch with Yourself and take a LONG, HARD, LOOK at the REAL You. You're just another Drug Addict with a Poly Drug Problem - Not an MXE Addiction. Quit Lying to Yourself.

I wish you the Best in All that YOU choose to Do in your life OP - I may have come off harsh, but it's because you're just out of touch with yourself right now and don't realize what's really going on. Take some LSD and look deep within since you mentioned You enjoyed that. MXE is AS IMPORTANT OF A TEACHER AS DMT. It's SO Special, You should feel Honored to get to have the times you did, even tho it sounds like you wasted them to a large extent. Give MXE a try by ITSELF ONLY - No Downers ALLOWED while you're being Taught. You'll see it's something COMPLETELY different than what you thought. Take Care OP - But learn about what your talking about, and be a little more Realistic with yourself before you go Placing Blame. Best Wishes. - Mr. Meowfish
 

Marens

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I recently bought around a 100 grams of ketamine, atleast that is what is been told to me.
Turned out to be MXE. It's a fun drug but I prefer ketamine.

Now I'm stuck with worthless MXE (atleast to me, maybe someone else I can make happy with it :) )
 

Peacephrog1972

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Wow

That was one heck of a rant!
Had some good points.....mostly a lot of shit shouted from a soapbox, but some decent points at least....
 

vortech

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Great to have you back posting Meowfish! Big Loving Wonky Hug from me to you for sharing that wisdom.
 

Ineffable14

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MXE can certainly e therapeutic, but be honest, using it everyday since its release is an addiction.

I would def advise against meowfish's ranting, put down the mxe for a while.
Learn to live life with out the disso crutch, glad you kicked the habbit.

MXE can really grab ahold of you, seen a buddy destroy himself with this stuff.
Much love!
 

St3ve

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Sure, I openly Admit, I went thru my MXE "Abuse" phase if you can call it that - but when a Drug is NOT Physically Addictive, has been PROVEN to actually help you REPAIR DAMAGE you've done to Receptors and Neurons in our Brains that we've destroyed over years of abusing other Drugs - and to top it off, has such a Long and Beautiful Afterglow that leaves you without Cravings for the Drug, Without EVER having a HINT OF WITHDRAWALS.................There is something Special about this Compound that has I GUARANTEE YOU Saved and Re-Programmed more lives than you could EVER IMAGINE.

I'd like to see this "proof" that MXE can repair damage in the brain. It's a very, very new RC and there's hardly any publications on it out there. Especially ones that relate to its mode of action and therapeutic use...

It seems to me, that like most other drugs, it has a lot more potential to cause damage to the brain than to cause good. Those who frequently (daily or as good as daily) use this drug seem to lose a certain connection to real life and get lost in some delirious fantasy world they've made up while under influence. It's a fantastic substance which is highly enjoyable, but I'd be very careful about using it too much. It has a sneaky psychologically addictive side to it that I'm only starting to experience now.
 
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