apart from a week lapse, no heroin or crack though, booze, coke, codeine and clonazepam..... i've been in recovery just over 8 months. its been harder than i ever imagined, but the repayment is my life is now better than i ever imagined. even though its shit. i had low expectations lol.
how are you doing? have you found a good way to distract yourself? are you going to groups at your cdt? when i got out of rehab i think having a timetable that worked out more than a full time job really helped, so do try and keep yourself busy as much as possible, even if you can't be arsed. if you've got stuff to do all the time then you're less likely to use out of boredom and more likely to be distracted by whatever you're doing.
i'm glad your mum has your money but yeah, there's always a way. having family support is a massive massive help.
How long ago was your week long relapse?? Congratulations on getting sober. I know from experience that poly-drug addiction is insanely hard to quit, and I can't even imagine the added level of difficulty when you throw benzos and alcohol into the mix as well. What is your life like at the moment, if you don't mind me asking?
I'm doing pretty good. I have a list of things to do each day - I'm getting back into running, meditating a little each day, listen to music, read and watch comedy/documentaries etc. I have plenty of stuff to do, my only problem in that regard is sometimes I feel like I'm spending too much time alone but my current friends are all heavily into drinking and smoking weed
at the least so I don't feel like being around them. Speaking of groups, I'm actually going back to SMART recovery tonight. I need to get back into it, it was a huge help before and the group I used to go to that I'm going to again tonight was so supportive before. I tried and failed with NA many times, but I had more success with SMART.
Nothing about you could ever be cliché Rio.
Long time no talk, I'm pleased to hear you are well..
A one time lapse is just a blip on the radar, no harm done, you just keep plugging along and being your awesome self. Proud of you honey.
Lovely to hear your mom is so supportive.
Try not to be such a stranger in the future, miss you around here.
Here for you anytime.
your friend,
Ash.
Thanks Ash. You've always been so supportive and positive (off topic but I can't believe they didn't make you mod!?!? WTF!?!?). A blip on the radar is a really good way to frame it. I am really looking forward to just making 20 days - once I get there, I will be longer into sobriety than I have been all of 2019! It doesn't sound like much but I always seem to struggle after 2 weeks, so I'm trying to prepare for the cravings. I know I've been away a while - I disappear when I use since I don't want to be accountable to the words of me when I'm sober, but I'm really trying to stay clean this time and hopefully you will be seeing more of me. How have you been Ash?? This may sound weird but can you tell me a little about your life?? I have been exchanging messages with you for a while but I feel like I don't know as much about you as I'd like.
Today has been OK. The weather here in the UK has been miserable - it's been pouring with rain all day. I'd planned on going for a run, and though I was tempted to leave it I remember some advice about imagining if rain would stop me if I was going to score. When the answer is no, then I apply that same mindset to things that are actually good for me. I love the feeling of running - it leaves me tired later in the day, but it also gives me a serenity and it feels good just to do something that's good for me. My cravings haven't flared up badly yet, but I'm staying cautious & alert. I've been getting sad sometimes about my social life - I have a few really good friends, but they all live such different lives to me and it all revolves around drinking and taking drugs, and I've known them all such a long time. I need some new friends and a new social life. However, I know I'm only 9 days into sobriety, so expecting my entire life to have changed is silly and unrealistic. I am going to focus at the moment on staying sober, and then once I have some stability I am going to try to branch out and find new people and new things to do.