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Heroin My journal of quitting heroin

menidiatis

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 24, 2021
Messages
331
Hi everyone, I decided I will quit heroin, and I am going to make a journal of my attempt here.

This forum has really helped and I would appreciate any support you people can show me while I am going through this.

Later today I will post all the details of how I plan to taper etc. I will be updating this thread daily.

Any support and advice fellow forum users can give me is more than welcome. Thank you everybody, please wish me good luck and pray for me :D
 

menidiatis

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 24, 2021
Messages
331
Alright, this is the first entry to the journal.

My last dose was basically the resin that was left on my tooter and resin left on previously used aluminums.

I will not be smoking again until 8.00 in the morning

My goal is to have completely dropped heroin by the 13th of December and at that point to switch to Kratom to complete the taper should I still have withdrawal symptoms. My current habit is ~2g of unknown purity #3 smoked throughout the day.

My tapering plan is as follows: for the rest of this week, I will be using only up to 20:00. At that time I go to my dance classes, which is a very good distraction as I am in an environment with really kind people, where I feel safe and accepted.

From next week on, I will be using only up to 17:00. At that time I finish work.

The week after that, I will be using only in the morning before I go to work.

And then comes the 13th of December, at which point I plan on completely dropping it. I have taken the week off work, so even if I have severe withdrawals I just have to push through them.

Regarding the dosage, I plan to not use anymore with the intention to get high, but only use with the intention to feel comfortable, to not feel as if "something is missing"

I have two questions for those who can give me some advice at this point:

1) Should I already start supplementing with Kratom if I find myself having uncontrollable cravings? Or should I really push through for now and wait till the week that I completely drop heroin to start Kratom?

2) When do withdrawals start? How many hours after the last use? If for example, 15 hours pass that I have not used and I have no withdrawals, is it safe to assume that maybe I am lucky and won't have them at all? Could that be possible considering I have been using for 6 months give or take a month?


Thank you everybody, any support is more than welcome!
 

menidiatis

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 24, 2021
Messages
331
2nd Entry

Today I kept to my word and smoked my last toke at 2000, right before going to dance classes. I must have smoked less than 1 gram in total. I will smoke again at 0800 tomorrow, now I am taking some temazepam to fall asleep.

Right now, despite having almost no symptoms of WD, I am constantly obsessing over it, and am interepreting every single thing as a possible sign that I am getting withdrawals, which is kind of scary. Like if I have a headache or I have anxiety, I think that this is because of heroin withdrawal. However, I have had these symtpoms every day for a long time now, long before heroin, so it does not really make sense to attribute them to H WDs. I cannot really tell whether I have any WDs. I don't have tremors or bone pain, and I am not shitting myself. We'll see tomorrow morning.

Please pray for me guys. Today it went well, except that I am really scared of the WDs that I might get. I will update you again tomorrow. Good night.
 

Ganjcat

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 13, 2013
Messages
4,525
2nd Entry

Today I kept to my word and smoked my last toke at 2000, right before going to dance classes. I must have smoked less than 1 gram in total. I will smoke again at 0800 tomorrow, now I am taking some temazepam to fall asleep.

Right now, despite having almost no symptoms of WD, I am constantly obsessing over it, and am interepreting every single thing as a possible sign that I am getting withdrawals, which is kind of scary. Like if I have a headache or I have anxiety, I think that this is because of heroin withdrawal. However, I have had these symtpoms every day for a long time now, long before heroin, so it does not really make sense to attribute them to H WDs. I cannot really tell whether I have any WDs. I don't have tremors or bone pain, and I am not shitting myself. We'll see tomorrow morning.

Please pray for me guys. Today it went well, except that I am really scared of the WDs that I might get. I will update you again tomorrow. Good night.
If your like me then if you have any amount of heroin you can't leave it alone unless your nodding you should look into methadone it's the reason I don't freak out or care if I run out of heroin because methadone is basically the same and ime after just a few days of taking it as instructed your tolerance will adjust to the dose as long as your not using on top or double dosing etc methadone probably saved my life
 
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menidiatis

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 24, 2021
Messages
331
If your like me then if you have any amount of heroin you can't leave it alone unless your nodding you should look into methadone it's the reason I don't freak out of care if I run out of heroin because methadone is basically the same and ime after just a few days of taking it as instructed your tolerance will adjust to the dose as long as your not using on top or double dosing etc methadone probably saved my life
Too much trouble to get it, I d rather just taper heroin, as long as don't get severe physical withdrawals I should be able to handle it, this far I controlled myself although the aluminum is. Tempting for sure.
 

Robi

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 28, 2021
Messages
357
Location
Under a rock*Queen of the Rolly Pollies*
in my thoughts and wish the best of best for you, i smoked n sniffed fent for a year and WD wasnt so horrible for ME , but i force fed self, but didnt sleep for 5 damn days, so glad you have time off, and that you dance and exercise, be good to yourself,i had emotional WD for sure cuz i did feel pretty bad, and not having to go get drugs and all the games some dealers play, tho sometimes it was too easy to get but all the bullshit is gone, and that foil is so damn toxic, burning the film off or not, wish i could tell you whats best but i dont want you get more ill, but i sure didnt taper, always thought i was going to, but excuse after after excuse, so yah i went at it cold turkey and did crave, i feel you got this and will succeed, my fear of WD was worse than WD
 

Coffeeshroom

Moderator: NMI
Staff member
Joined
Jan 17, 2019
Messages
3,626
Location
Sunny South Africa
Hey there and props on making this move or taking this step to getting closer. Just a few q's

Can you get any meds to make this easier (like benzos and/or gabapentenoids)?
are you gonna switch over to a substitute like subutex/subuxone or methadone?
Are you planning to use the kratom as soon as you need it or only later on?
 

menidiatis

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 24, 2021
Messages
331
in my thoughts and wish the best of best for you, i smoked n sniffed fent for a year and WD wasnt so horrible for ME , but i force fed self, but didnt sleep for 5 damn days, so glad you have time off, and that you dance and exercise, be good to yourself,i had emotional WD for sure cuz i did feel pretty bad, and not having to go get drugs and all the games some dealers play, tho sometimes it was too easy to get but all the bullshit is gone, and that foil is so damn toxic, burning the film off or not, wish i could tell you whats best but i dont want you get more ill, but i sure didnt taper, always thought i was going to, but excuse after after excuse, so yah i went at it cold turkey and did crave, i feel you got this and will succeed, my fear of WD was worse than WD
Thank you for your encouragement Robi I really appreciate! :D

Hey there and props on making this move or taking this step to getting closer. Just a few q's

Can you get any meds to make this easier (like benzos and/or gabapentenoids)?
are you gonna switch over to a substitute like subutex/subuxone or methadone?
Are you planning to use the kratom as soon as you need it or only later on?
Thank you coffeeshroom! To answer your question

1.xans,temazepam,mirtazapine, Kratom, phenibut
2. I don't have access to pharma grade product and considering I ve been using for only 6 months a relatively small quantity (1 - 2 G per day) I presume it is not necessary
3. I have no clue about this and am open to advice. I think the best option is to get on it only as soon as I completely drop heroin, especially considering that I don't have uncontrollable cravings

Thank you for your support people!!
 

Coffeeshroom

Moderator: NMI
Staff member
Joined
Jan 17, 2019
Messages
3,626
Location
Sunny South Africa
Thank you coffeeshroom! To answer your question

1.xans,temazepam,mirtazapine, Kratom, phenibut
2. I don't have access to pharma grade product and considering I ve been using for only 6 months a relatively small quantity (1 - 2 G per day) I presume it is not necessary
3. I have no clue about this and am open to advice. I think the best option is to get on it only as soon as I completely drop heroin, especially considering that I don't have uncontrollable cravings

Thank you for your support people!!
1. If you can i would look at getting a long acting benzo plus maybe gabapentin to help with wd's especially on the muscle relaxation part
2. If you not going the route of a substitute like mentioned and with your time frame of using you should be okay, might just be a little harder then you think but still not impossible.
3. As for the kratom i would personally use it as needed when you have cleared your system or when wd's get bad or unbearable and only use it to sooth the wd's.

Hope this helps. But what is good for one is not necessarily good for another. So see how you doing and keep us updated and we can advice to the best of our knowledge.

Regards
CoffeeShroom
 

Ganjcat

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 13, 2013
Messages
4,525
Too much trouble to get it, I d rather just taper heroin, as long as don't get severe physical withdrawals I should be able to handle it, this far I controlled myself although the aluminum is. Tempting for sure.
Idk where you live but when I join the program within 20 mins of waiting in the building I seen a doctor, gave a piss test and got a script all this probably took ten minutes and I had 30ml methadone script everyday all I have to do is pop to the pharmacy I cant believe people who are addicted don't know or care about methadone it's so underappreciated by a lot but also appreciate it.
 

menidiatis

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 24, 2021
Messages
331
3rd entry

I have beyond devastating news, the cowards who govern NL decided to ban dance classes after 5. So th one thing that I had to keep me away from doing heavy narcotics is once again taken away from me. At this point, I don't see how my attempt is going to be successful.

However, today I did keep to my intention, and did not smoke after 8pm, and won't be smoking after 8am. I am awaiting tomorrow for confirmation, but if my dance classes are taken away and all I have is fucking work, then fuck this, no point in attempting to quit quite frankly.

Fuck the netherlands, I hate this country so much, there is no worse thing that can be done to a person than to live in this pathetic country.
 

Electrum1

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 22, 2021
Messages
61
3rd entry

I have beyond devastating news, the cowards who govern NL decided to ban dance classes after 5. So th one thing that I had to keep me away from doing heavy narcotics is once again taken away from me. At this point, I don't see how my attempt is going to be successful.
Don't let the first speed bump derail you, you are doing well. Are you able to take a walk for an hour? Some sort of exercise? Please don't see losing dance classes as a complete loss, use that as a reason to find something fitness related to fill that time with. Surely you will run into other obstacles, and you can adapt to overcome those obstacles. Don't let anything stop you from reaching the finish line. The moments you feel the weakest are the moments to push yourself to be strong. Beating this will strengthen you in many other aspects of life.
 
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menidiatis

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 24, 2021
Messages
331
Don't let the first speed bump derail you, you are doing well. Are you able to take a walk for an hour? Some sort of exercise? Please don't see losing dance classes as a complete loss, use that as a reason to find something fitness related to fill that time with. Surely you will run into other obstacles, and you can adapt to overcome those obstacles. Don't let anything stop you from reaching the finish line. The moments you feel the weakest are the moments to push yourself to be strong. Beating this will strengthen you in many other aspects of life.
I admit I overreacted a bit but man, it was the only thing I had to socialize, now I will be lonely again. I am really scared. Thank God I have one good friend here, but I needed those dance classes in order to socialzie. Maybe I am lucky and the neighboring countries won't shut down salsa parties so I can at least go there to dance...
 

Robi

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 28, 2021
Messages
357
Location
Under a rock*Queen of the Rolly Pollies*
I admit I overreacted a bit but man, it was the only thing I had to socialize, now I will be lonely again. I am really scared. Thank God I have one good friend here, but I needed those dance classes in order to socialzie. Maybe I am lucky and the neighboring countries won't shut down salsa parties so I can at least go there to dance...
be careful and stay safe, we care, you didnt over react, its your love(dance) and youre feeling sensitive, you are going thru some trying times for sure, and this is a good place to act any way you wish for the most part, never ever worry
 

vacuole

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 4, 2015
Messages
174
inre: when to take kratom -- my suggestion would be to wait as long as possible AFTER you have completely gone off the h. Kratom rarely has any kind of appreciable effects unless your tolerance from stronger opioids is basically gone; otherwise it will not be nearly as useful for you. It will be useful as an invaluable aid through the dreaded PAWS.
 

Coffeeshroom

Moderator: NMI
Staff member
Joined
Jan 17, 2019
Messages
3,626
Location
Sunny South Africa
Hey there and congrats sticking to the self prescribed regime you have for yourself. Yeah it sucks having something taken away that helped you to stay in routine with what you trying to accomplish but don't let that throw you off course. Look for another way to keep busy and still get that exercise in and fitness that helps keep your mind occupied with your mission. And also i understand it's not just the physical part but also the socializing part that you need or crave to help you with your current goals. But don't let that discourage you. Find another way of socializing that is in a safe environment and won't be tempting to mess up what you aiming for.

But so far i think you doing good and we as a community on here will always be here to support you and if you need some 1 on 1 chatting on a personal level I'm sure there are more then one person on here that are more then willing to be there for you in anyway you need. Just stay strong and remember we are here for you in the best way that we can.

You can and will do this and come out a stronger and better person overall.

Regards
CoffeeShroom
 

menidiatis

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 24, 2021
Messages
331
Thank you so much for your support everybody! I will be late with the entry today as I will be at a salsa party till 4 in the mornin, but thus far everything is going normally!
 

menidiatis

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 24, 2021
Messages
331
4th entry

today I smoked a lot of heroin. I stop however now since it is 2000 as I wanted to do,last day of the week, from next week I plan to stop smoking at 1800 I have realized that my actual problem was not that dance classes were shut down, but the insane anxiety I struggle with every day, which the dance classes distracted me from. thankfully, I discovered that 5mg temazepam in the morning exterminated all of that anxiety, so what I am planning on doing is making a benzo dosing schedule. what I am thinking for now is using 0.125mg (half a 0.25mg) xanax pill twice a day and maybe a whole 0.25mg pill at night.

My questions for you guys:

A) Which of the following is better (for my severe anxiety and insomnia):

1.
0.125mg xanax morning + 0.125mg xanax midday + 0.25mg xanax before sleep (and in the case I wake up supplement with another 0.25mg)

2. 0.125mg xanax morning + 0.125mg xanax midday + 5mg temazepam before sleep (and in the case I wake up supplement with another 5mg)

B) Is it inherently more dangerous to combine different benzos, or does it all have to do with dosage?

C) Are the dosages that I am suggesting in dangerous zone? Are these big dosages of benzos or they are in an acceptable range?


I apologize for not replying to each and every one of you personally but please rest assured I read your messages and your support really encourages me. Thank you every body from the bottom of my heart :D
 
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