• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

Addiction Never thought I would Be here but Here I am

Coffeeshroom said:
Something happened and it fuct me up. No i didn't relapse but i fell for someone and they don't feel the same or they do in a way but her life is just to complicated at the moment for her to even try go down this road with me. I'm not gonna lie, I'm human and my heart is sore. And all this is just wanting me to get so messed up with my DOC. But I forced myself to have 4mg subutex so even if i wanted to go down that route it will be pointless but doesn't mean I can't drink myself into a stuper and just numb myself completely that way...

Maybe this is the wrong place to state this... Sorry guys

And I'm already so depressed and lost thinking about suicide constantly... I just don't understand what is wrong with me?
Click to expand...
Mannnn nooooooo, suicide ain't a goddsmn choice. It is a permanent solution to a temporsry problem. Take some benzos man, the worst 5himg u can do tbh is kill urself for someone else, it ain't worth it. I've been there too, I tried to kill myself once years ago cause my ex broke up w/me and I was shooting coke recklessly until I seized, cut both my wrists, tried to get the arteries unsuccessfully and painted the word "its not your fault" on the wall with blood(to this day dunno wtfuck thst meant, I was on a psychotic breakdown) that joke landed me on a 47 day psych ward which I'm not proud of and to this day my brothers gf is scared of me and doesn't even wanna b in the same room as me.
So please man, if u need cry all u want or idk take maybe a lil extra dose of benzo today but fk suicide bruv. I love you a lot and don't want you to leave before me, lots of luvvvv,
Nico
 
I'm just so broken, this is the first time i felt this way about another person in roughly 6yrs. and the suicide idea has been hanging in the back of my head for weeks now, this just turned out to be the cherry on top

but i hear all of you. i'm just such a broken mess
 
Coffeeshroom said:
I'm just so broken, this is the first time i felt this way about another person in roughly 6yrs. and the suicide idea has been hanging in the back of my head for weeks now, this just turned out to be the cherry on top

but i hear all of you. i'm just such a broken mess
Click to expand...
Man, soon you'll see what I'm going through. I'm gonna drop a bomb on bl, I'm not trying to minimize ur pain but ull see that what I'm going through is reallyyyyyyyyyy fked up, I'm young and I wanna live:( too young to die bruvvv, both of us. Suicide has been on my mind for the past year but I'm fighting like a real mofo. If u needa cry, just do it man. Cry all u want. Thst will help a bit, I'd hug u if I could :£ but we are too far away from es other but I'm disabled. Shucks. Hang in there bud, it shall pass. Time vials errthing, even the brokenheart thst seems uncurable. Love,
Nico
 
Coffeeshroom said:
I'm just so broken, this is the first time i felt this way about another person in roughly 6yrs. and the suicide idea has been hanging in the back of my head for weeks now, this just turned out to be the cherry on top

but i hear all of you. i'm just such a broken mess
Click to expand...
Hold on man!It will passed away.That terrible feelings.just an episode.I am from five years of permanent breakdowns.Not able to go spiral down literally,just because there is not oppies...and even it is they almost cant help me,when the bad strikes me.Some alc...for calm down,but nothing more.Must wait a little bit and it will pass and you can see things from different perspective.Much love S.Africa!
 
My braai today for my grandad's 89th birthday.. A freakin Milestone and a half but what we had to chow on the meat side, which is all im worried about

 
AS for my last post before this, yeah still not doing good. I'm in a very bad place but guess it's all up to me. Thanks again for all the support from this community and help in any and every way, so much appreciated/

All my love
CoffeeShroom
 
Coffeeshroom said:
AS for my last post before this, yeah still not doing good. I'm in a very bad place but guess it's all up to me. Thanks again for all the support from this community and help in any and every way, so much appreciated/

All my love
CoffeeShroom
Click to expand...
so sorry. keep doing well ! 👍🏽

😁 🍄☺💗 💔
NUqCwdS.jpg
 
Hey BlueWorld

Sorry for being of the radar but stuff not going so well for me, only positive thing is me still being clean from my DOC.

So all in all I'm still doing good in that part but otherwise I'm not doing good (emotionally) but I'm trying to pull myself towards myself.
All the best to All

Regards
CoffeeShroom
 
No energy. I don't even want to deal with tomorrow.

I have less than 10 minutes.
 
how you doing CS?

is there anything going on making things hard or is it your brain adjusting to not having your DOC any more? either way, you will get htrough it, and it will be easier in the long run without reaching to that crutch- admittedly less so in the short run, otherwise we wouldn't get these habits in the first place!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top