☮ Social ☮ PD Social Talk Thread 2022-2023 v. Year of the Phenethylamine

[Xorkoth]

Yeah like I said, benzos are so variable in individuals. many people say temazepam is the most euphoric benzo, but I have seen people say they don't get anything from it, or that they dislike how it makes them feel.

For me, it's the opposite. Opiates get me dependent so fast it's crazy. But to be fair, its because of the kindling effect (as it is for you with benzos, I'm sure). If you spend a lot of time addicted to something, it becomes easier and easier to get addicted to it again. For me, I get withdrawals from a full agonist after one use, even after a long break. Even after 5 years clean from opiates, I didn't get dependent after one time doing morphine (my relapse), but I did get the "brain bug" again where I became obsessed with opiates, mentally, and the first time I did them 2 days in a row, I got withdrawals.

 

[Chris Timothy]

Beware the benzos.. damn, looking at the half life didn't even cross my mind when I messed with Flun-somethingsomething. I just thought that when I'd keep to taking downers only after an upper day I should be fine. Nuh-uh. I'm sure the O-PCE I was killing off at night probably during the day masked the slow GABA destabilization. Because I'm still puzzled by how a massive panic attack could creep up to me like that. Powerful stuff. I swear I read somewhere the whole benzo class was inspired by Amanita Muscaria's mechanism. I can't retrieve the source anymore, so please consider it heresy. But it would make a whole lot of sense that that one in particular would unleash a sledgehammer on human consciousness.

 

[Xorkoth]

Wow man, that's a really shitty thing for her to say to you. You can be what you want to be, regardless of what she says or thinks. Sometimes hammering drugs can help temporarily in dealing with emotions, hell I've done that enough times for two lifetimes. But I hope you can keep it to one or two nights and not dig yourself back into an addiction that will be really difficult to climb back out of. Ultimately you've got to be able to feel a sense of self-worth all on your own, and not let others pull you down. Usually they do that because they themselves are miserable. Or maybe they're having a hard time, themselves. Either way, I know you're a good person with a lot to offer the world, I hope you do, too.

 

[simstim]

So yeah I'm on a fair amount of mdma and 4f-mph and decided very rapidly to insufflate 3mg of 25b-nboh sometime this morning. The combo is wowzerizering me still.

I have no money for tobacco or alcohol and knew I wasn't gonna be sleeping so I said why not make the most of the night and 25b-NBOH flip!?

LOL. My buddy thinks 25b-NBOH is so strong that it's not sellable or rather shouldn't be sold. Perhaps he wasn't ready. Maybe in some ways he's right too. I love it though.

After I lived thru my first 25i-NBOH experience where I saw my cells rupturing and I was crying and saying goodbye to my family and shit because I was convinced Iwas dying based on what I had heard about NBOMe's and my unknown portion of 13mg consumed.

But I lived!! And now I have no fear of the NBOH 's.

Almost nothing else can consistently hand me my own ass like this shit can anymore.

 

[SuperPsych]

Yeah like I said, benzos are so variable in individuals. many people say temazepam is the most euphoric benzo, but I have seen people say they don't get anything from it, or that they dislike how it makes them feel.

For me, it's the opposite. Opiates get me dependent so fast it's crazy. But to be fair, its because of the kindling effect (as it is for you with benzos, I'm sure). If you spend a lot of time addicted to something, it becomes easier and easier to get addicted to it again. For me, I get withdrawals from a full agonist after one use, even after a long break. Even after 5 years clean from opiates, I didn't get dependent after one time doing morphine (my relapse), but I did get the "brain bug" again where I became obsessed with opiates, mentally, and the first time I did them 2 days in a row, I got withdrawals.

The kindling effect is pretty fascinating and also a real pain in my ass. I've been dependent on every class basically. Have been dependent on opioids for basically all of my adult life with a few breaks here and there. I've also had to go through a few benzo detoxes and yeah, now if I have one too many drinks one night, the rebound anxiety is intense. I imagine I may be at the same point as you with the opioids, I definitely get the "brain bug" where the first little bit of an opioid I get after a bit of a break, they're all I can think about. We'll see if that happens to me with the two days in a row of full agonists and entering withdrawals. I'm currently tapering suboxone and have been sitting on some Vicodin that was prescribed to me for a dental procedure. I am definitely going to take the Vicodin a little while after my suboxone taper because I'm a bit of an idiot hopefully it won't bite me in the ass, but it probably will

 

[SuperPsych]

So yeah I'm on a fair amount of mdma and 4f-mph and decided very rapidly to insufflate 3mg of 25b-nboh sometime this morning. The combo is wowzerizering me still.

I have no money for tobacco or alcohol and knew I wasn't gonna be sleeping so I said why not make the most of the night and 25b-NBOH flip!?

LOL. My buddy thinks 25b-NBOH is so strong that it's not sellable or rather shouldn't be sold. Perhaps he wasn't ready. Maybe in some ways he's right too. I love it though.

After I lived thru my first 25i-NBOH experience where I saw my cells rupturing and I was crying and saying goodbye to my family and shit because I was convinced Iwas dying based on what I had heard about NBOMe's and my unknown portion of 13mg consumed.

But I lived!! And now I have no fear of the NBOH 's.

Almost nothing else can consistently hand me my own ass like this shit can anymore.

I am not a fan of the NBOMes, never tried any of the NBOHs, but still, that sounds like a fun combo.


Your bad trip reminds me of my bad DOM trip where I thought I was laughing to death and had visuals of my lung being removed and the flesh cauterized, and I was begging my friends to let me say my goodbyes to my family. It was a horrible time but it provides me some relief to know that someone has had a similar experience. I'm sorry you also had to go through that.

 

[simstim]

I love this when I'm tripping
Daft Punk's
Interstella 5555

 

[Dreamflyer]

I must be really lucky because I seem to have the opposite of kindling. I've gone through withdrawal so many times from insane amounts of chemicals, that it actually seems to get easier for me. Maybe it's just because I'm used to it and I know what to expect.

Of course now I've probably jinxed myself by saying that, and I'm going to go into a grand mal seizure from cold-turkeying months of alcohol and benzos!

 

[Xorkoth]

The kindling effect is pretty fascinating and also a real pain in my ass. I've been dependent on every class basically. Have been dependent on opioids for basically all of my adult life with a few breaks here and there. I've also had to go through a few benzo detoxes and yeah, now if I have one too many drinks one night, the rebound anxiety is intense. I imagine I may be at the same point as you with the opioids, I definitely get the "brain bug" where the first little bit of an opioid I get after a bit of a break, they're all I can think about. We'll see if that happens to me with the two days in a row of full agonists and entering withdrawals. I'm currently tapering suboxone and have been sitting on some Vicodin that was prescribed to me for a dental procedure. I am definitely going to take the Vicodin a little while after my suboxone taper because I'm a bit of an idiot hopefully it won't bite me in the ass, but it probably will

It sounds like you know this, but I have to say it: don't do that to yourself. If you're like me (and it sounds like you are, in a surprising number of ways), it WILL bite you in the ass. Every single time I've ever relapsed even to take just a bit of an opiate, I end up rekindling my addiction and it takes me a lot of pain, work, and hardship to get clear of it again, and I hate myself for it, and regret very deeply having attempted such a thing. Every time. You're going to end up spending so much time beating yourself up over putting yourself back into that situation after you were clear of it and feeling good.

The best favor you could do yourself is throw it away now before you're in the situation where you have to decide whether or not to take it. If you need motivation, maybe it would help to think about the good things that you recently have come into your life, and think about whether getting high on hydrocodone for a few hours is worth jeopardizing that.

I hope you don't find this condescending or anything, I just don't want you to end up where I am right now. Currently I'm 2 and a half years into what was supposed to be a one-time relapse, after getting clean again 8 months into ANOTHER what was supposed to be a one-time relapse. I'm on suboxone and tapering because of it. Maybe you're different than me and you will keep it to the little bit of vicodin you have left... but it sounds like you're well aware that won't be the case.

It won't eve be worth it in the moment, anyway... even those times I relapsed, I thought it was going to be like the old days and I was going to feel perfect and amazing, but I didn't. It was lackluster, but it still put the "brain bug" back in my mind, regardless.

I must be really lucky because I seem to have the opposite of kindling. I've gone through withdrawal so many times from insane amounts of chemicals, that it actually seems to get easier for me. Maybe it's just because I'm used to it and I know what to expect.

Of course now I've probably jinxed myself by saying that, and I'm going to go into a grand mal seizure from cold-turkeying months of alcohol and benzos!

Wow, that's fascinating... and so lucky for you! Seriously, for me it gets faster, longer and harder every time (that's what she said).

 

[Xorkoth]

I had been wondering for a while if I had covid, just because I felt like I was coming down with something after the Christmas traveling. Today I remembered I actually have a couple of at-home tests, so I took one. Seems to be a clear negative, so that's good. I don't really feel sick, but I did wonder if maybe some of what I'm feeling was from that. But... probably not. I guess that's a good thing but in a way I kinda hoped it was.

I did a 10mg bump of MXE a little bit ago. The last time I felt this down I did little bumps periodically for a few days and it cleared up for quite a while, so I'm gonna give that a shot again. It's working quite well so far.

 

[Dreamflyer]

Seriously, for me it gets faster, longer and harder every time (that's what she said).

 

[pharmakos]

I hope the cancer stays away man. And that's fucking awesome about methadone! I would have expected you'd be withdrawing by now... 4 days after 2.5mg, it will have totally cleared your system by now and then some, at such a low dose. That's super encouraging for me, because I'm on suboxone, unfortunately, and working to reduce. I dropped to 8mg per day recently and I expect to be able to drop to 2mg/day relatively quickly, but after that it gets hard. I am going to do a slow taper of 10% per week, I think. Which gets VERY slow as the dose goes down, but I have the pills and a milligram scale so I can crush them up into a powder and weigh very precise doses. I am planning to go down all the way to 0.05mg... considering they prescribe 0.1 to 0.3mg for pain, it's still a totally active dose. I want to make the jump as painless as possible because opiate withdrawals tend to make me completely unable to function and the last time I tried to go cold turkey, my work was noticing something was wrong and I relapsed largely because I couldn't function. So I need to avoid that. But I can't just take kratom or something because kratom, every time, gets me rapidly into dosing repeatedly throughout the day and always being on the verge of, or in, withdrawals. So I really need to be able to just jump off suboxone and not use any opioid at all.

I have the "advantage" of having gone through chemotherapy for so long that withdrawals don't feel that bad in comparison haha. I'd take opiate withdrawals over chemotherapy any day.

 

[cosmic charlie]

Last week after i got that bad news i went on a sorta binge with Phenibut, ate maybe 8 grams within a 5 day period. Havent had any in awhile like at least 4 days but i have had anxiety ever since stopping, i mean it could very well be because of my situation but i dont think that it is.

Feel like a real physical thing, like today i have been having a good day so far, but just over the past hour i have been getting this really uncomfortable feeling. This has been happening all week it comes and goes. Im really stupid cuz i have been addicted to Phenibut horribly before and once spent a year at 10+ grams a day. Coming off that amount was brutal.

Purposefully didnt make any more gel caps last weekend cuz i didnt wanna be tempted to take more. Should have that Soma and Lyrica this coming weekend so im probably not gonna touch any phenibut for awhile, and with those two im gonna play nice as well and not keep them all on me. Really dont need anymore addictions you know.

 

[pharmakos]

Last week after i got that bad news i went on a sorta binge with Phenibut, ate maybe 8 grams within a 5 day period. Havent had any in awhile like at least 4 days but i have had anxiety ever since stopping, i mean it could very well be because of my situation but i dont think that it is.

Feel like a real physical thing, like today i have been having a good day so far, but just over the past hour i have been getting this really uncomfortable feeling. This has been happening all week it comes and goes. Im really stupid cuz i have been addicted to Phenibut horribly before and once spent a year at 10+ grams a day. Coming off that amount was brutal.

Purposefully didnt make any more gel caps last weekend cuz i didnt wanna be tempted to take more. Should have that Soma and Lyrica this coming weekend so im probably not gonna touch any phenibut for awhile, and with those two im gonna play nice as well and not keep them all on me. Really dont need anymore addictions you know.

Quitting can be one hell of a trip too, if you want it to be. Consider it a science project. Withdrawals themselves are a fascinating part of the human experience that is worth being understood. And the only way to truly understand is to experience.

 

[porkstock]

I've hit an all-time low tonight. I woke up with the best of intentions to turn my life around and be the best man that I can possibly be. I tried to share these feelings with my mother, and she basically freaked out on me for "beating a dead horse" and bothering her with my "petty bullshit".

Now I'm hiding in my bedroom with six 25oz Natty Daddys and enough drugs to kill a horse.

FUCK THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!

I had a similarly shitty morning yesterday. Called my mom and was upset about some stuff..instead of being there for me she made a selfish comment and really pissed me off. Then I probably went a little overboard and said some things I regret.


On the opiate/benzo front I dunno if I've been lucky or disciplined or something else, but I've never really felt the allure of those drugs. I guess I've just kept it to a major weed habit and psychedelic obsession.

I've tried pharmaceutical opiates of all the main variety, usually orally but an occasional snort. Felt cool but never cool enough to override my apprehensive feeling towards them - I'd been warned away by my older cousin...and his dad supposedly died of a Lorotab overdose (also a chronic alcoholic so that didn't help the liver)

Tried benzos much less. Actually I don't think I've ever managed to get high from Xanax or anything like it. My wife keeps a steady supply of it though.
And we sit on a decent stash of opiates at least for non users. Some old bottles of oxycodone from 2013, nearly a full bottle of Dilaudid from her C-section in 2017. I definitely have enough opiates to get nicely high on, but I am "addicted" enough to weed so I don't need to give myself a problem.


SuperPsychMe - please toss the Vicodin. Xorkoth is right and like him I mean it all with love. Shit's not worth it. I should take my own advice and toss mine too.

 

[pharmakos]

I had a similarly shitty morning yesterday. Called my mom and was upset about some stuff..instead of being there for me she made a selfish comment and really pissed me off. Then I probably went a little overboard and said some things I regret.


On the opiate/benzo front I dunno if I've been lucky or disciplined or something else, but I've never really felt the allure of those drugs. I guess I've just kept it to a major weed habit and psychedelic obsession.

I've tried pharmaceutical opiates of all the main variety, usually orally but an occasional snort. Felt cool but never cool enough to override my apprehensive feeling towards them - I'd been warned away by my older cousin...and his dad supposedly died of a Lorotab overdose (also a chronic alcoholic so that didn't help the liver)

Tried benzos much less. Actually I don't think I've ever managed to get high from Xanax or anything like it. My wife keeps a steady supply of it though.
And we sit on a decent stash of opiates at least for non users. Some old bottles of oxycodone from 2013, nearly a full bottle of Dilaudid from her C-section in 2017. I definitely have enough opiates to get nicely high on, but I am "addicted" enough to weed so I don't need to give myself a problem.


SuperPsychMe - please toss the Vicodin. Xorkoth is right and like him I mean it all with love. Shit's not worth it. I should take my own advice and toss mine too.

Those that suffer from GABAergic addiction are almost always trying to heal from trauma, feel fortunate that you don't see the allure

 

[cosmic charlie]

Those that suffer from GABAergic addiction are almost always trying to heal from trauma, feel fortunate that you don't see the allure

Its the truth, downers give me such a sense of peace its like all your troubles just melt away for awhile. I just need to be careful how i use them cuz i go overboard. All my drugs came in the mail today i have a fuckload of new goodies. Few different downers and a bunch of FXE i have 33 grams of that all together now. Soma, Pregabalin, Bromazolam and O-DSMT. Wish i wasnt on this fucking probation id do an epic combo.

All dosed orally at once.

1,000mgs Carisoprodal
100mgs O-DSMT
300mgs Pregabalin
2.5mgs Bromazolam

Would probably be most euphoric thing ever, i have a stupidly high natural opioid tolerance so i think i would be fine. But it would be dangerous for the naive for sure.

 

[SuperPsych]

It sounds like you know this, but I have to say it: don't do that to yourself. If you're like me (and it sounds like you are, in a surprising number of ways), it WILL bite you in the ass. Every single time I've ever relapsed even to take just a bit of an opiate, I end up rekindling my addiction and it takes me a lot of pain, work, and hardship to get clear of it again, and I hate myself for it, and regret very deeply having attempted such a thing. Every time. You're going to end up spending so much time beating yourself up over putting yourself back into that situation after you were clear of it and feeling good.

The best favor you could do yourself is throw it away now before you're in the situation where you have to decide whether or not to take it. If you need motivation, maybe it would help to think about the good things that you recently have come into your life, and think about whether getting high on hydrocodone for a few hours is worth jeopardizing that.

I hope you don't find this condescending or anything, I just don't want you to end up where I am right now. Currently I'm 2 and a half years into what was supposed to be a one-time relapse, after getting clean again 8 months into ANOTHER what was supposed to be a one-time relapse. I'm on suboxone and tapering because of it. Maybe you're different than me and you will keep it to the little bit of vicodin you have left... but it sounds like you're well aware that won't be the case.

It won't eve be worth it in the moment, anyway... even those times I relapsed, I thought it was going to be like the old days and I was going to feel perfect and amazing, but I didn't. It was lackluster, but it still put the "brain bug" back in my mind, regardless.



Wow, that's fascinating... and so lucky for you! Seriously, for me it gets faster, longer and harder every time (that's what she said).

You don't sound condescending at all and I can't tell you how much I appreciate and value what you have to say 🩷 it truly means a lot. I'll put what both you and Porkstock said into consideration. I am absolutely an addict, and you're almost certainly right that it won't be worth getting the brain bug. I feel like I'm at a point in my life now where I could just use the vicodin I have and keep it at that, but would it be worth it to catch the brain bug and end up back on kratom? Probably not. I sure do fucking miss the feeling of a good full agonist taking residence in my opioid receptors. You're right though. I just assumed that I'd be able to take it and enjoy it and then move on, but I REALLY failed to consider the possibility that it'd give me the brain bug and I'd end up back on kratom and I don't want that after 2 years of struggle trying to get off of Suboxone.

I love this forum so fucking much. Every single one of you people on the other side of the computer are so precious to me. Thank you for giving me perspective that I don't have myself.

Porkstock- I'm sorry to hear about your unpleasant conversation I don't know your mother or the relationship that you have with her so I won't dive into any of that, but it sure can hurt when it feels like what you're saying isn't heard by a person who is supposed to be close to you and there for you, let alone having your worries being invalidated. I'm sorry that you said some things that you regret, that is never a good feeling. I'm sure that things will blow over soon. The next conversation you have with her is nothing but a chance to make up for past mistakes, on both of your guys' parts.

 

[pharmakos]

So I just caught this today somehow

The Nobel prize for 2022 went to some people who *proved* that physical objects do not have an existence of their own, but are ONLY the product of being observed.

For a material rationalist, that's as close to proof for God as you can get. For who else can keep the physical universe together, then, but One observer witnessing it all? And foolish of us to be so solipsistic as to think that we are he

The Universe Is Not Locally Real, and the Physics Nobel Prize Winners Proved It

Elegant experiments with entangled light have laid bare a profound mystery at the heart of reality

www.scientificamerican.com

Pioneering Quantum Physicists Win Nobel Prize in Physics | Quanta Magazine

John Clauser, Anton Zeilinger and Alain Aspect have won the 2022 Nobel Prize in Physics for groundbreaking experiments with entangled particles.

www.quantamagazine.org

 

[Buzz Lightbeer]

So I just caught this today somehow

The Nobel prize for 2022 went to some people who *proved* that physical objects do not have an existence of their own, but are ONLY the product of being observed.

For a material rationalist, that's as close to proof for God as you can get. For who else can keep the physical universe together, then, but One observer witnessing it all? And foolish of us to be so solipsistic as to think that we are he

The Universe Is Not Locally Real, and the Physics Nobel Prize Winners Proved It

Elegant experiments with entangled light have laid bare a profound mystery at the heart of reality

www.scientificamerican.com

Pioneering Quantum Physicists Win Nobel Prize in Physics | Quanta Magazine

John Clauser, Anton Zeilinger and Alain Aspect have won the 2022 Nobel Prize in Physics for groundbreaking experiments with entangled particles.

www.quantamagazine.org

Great reads!!