☮ Social ☮ PD Social Talk Thread 2022-2023 v. Year of the Phenethylamine

[Pfafffed]

Thank you, Charlie!!

 

[Cream Gravy?]

I'd just say "ride it out", especially if it hasn't been more than a month or so of use. People swear by black seed oil, I cannot say I've ever tried it since I can't find it locally.

Sure you can use other drugs to help mask or ignore WD symptoms but unless you're a true addict there isn't much point to picking up another habit in place of the opiates. Just creates another addiction to kick.

When I kicked after a year and a half last year I used alcohol mostly. It wasn't as hard as I expected. Kicking alcohol though? Kinda sucked.

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

I have always found it pretty twisted that so many of the drug trials done on animals use just absolutely disgusting levels of dosage, which doesn't even remotely replicate any sort of situation any normal human would find themselves in. What makes it twisted is, what does it even show or achieve, if it's just injecting 50 times the recreational dose directly into the brain? That's just animal abuse...

it seems like you couldn't even point at pharmacologic consequences but mechanical reasons
"wow, this guinea pig JUST EXPLODED when we injected it with substance x in amount equal to its live weight, doubling its weight... must be something wrong with the drug!"

 

[Pfafffed]

Good news! They have some old gabapentin laying around unused and had no clue that it could help

 

[Pfafffed]

I'd just say "ride it out", especially if it hasn't been more than a month or so of use. People swear by black seed oil, I cannot say I've ever tried it since I can't find it locally.

Thank you! I forgot about black seed oil. I have plenty lying around that I can give them to use. That stuff made me ragey when I stopped taking it after just a few days tbh. Very much out of character.

They've been on opioids for two and a half months now, morphine for the last month.

 

[Cream Gravy?]

They've been on opioids for two and a half months now, morphine for the last month.

That's not bad. It shouldn't be very drawn out in that case.

 

[cosmic charlie]

With the monster Dope habits ive had i couldnt even contemplate drinking alcohol personally. Id have a hard time even holding water iny stomach without vomiting. And alcohol makes me feel shitty even when im not dope sick, it might have a warm fuzzy feeling for half hour but after that im just sedated and nauseous. And with this general ickyness.

Honestly i dont even know how i was an alcoholic in my early twenties it baffles me now. Morphine withdrawls last about a week, more like 5 days if you just take Lyrica/Gabapentin for that time you wont get addicted to it. That would take 2-3 weeks for it to set in.

But yeah your right Gravy if they havent been on the Morphine really long it might be best to power through it. If its been a month or two the Gabapentoids will surely help.

 

[cosmic charlie]

Little stressed out i went to order a bunch more of FXE from my vendor and they havent wrote back to me yet. Im surely being impatient cuz i only placed the order this morning. Really wanna get more before i start breaking into my other big vial, should really slow down my use ive been going thru a gram every week lately and even with that pause ive noticed definite tolerance setting in. Its such a good feeling tho and i really look forward to it on my days off. Hopefully i hear back from them after work.

 

[simstim]

I really love having a female friend who does x with me!! I mean I feel lucky to have met her. I haven't known any girls who do x since twenty years ago.

My lady friend woke me up knocking on the door today needing to charge her phone.

We ended up doing x and snuggling for a longtime on my bed. It feels so nice be beside an attractive woman and be rolling.

She's still here. She doesn't know I post about us but you guys don't know her so... Yeah.

She definitely has me feeling some kind of way. Lucky for one.

Supposedly she's going to work but last time this happened she didn't make it. I don't think she really wants to go. We'll see I guess.

To you guys! I love ya!

 

[cosmic charlie]

Fuck yeah vendor wrote back, gonna pay the crypto tonight and have the goodness on the way shortly. That will give me over fifty grams in my stash once it touches down. Im swimming in FXE right now its so lovely, will try and drop back to bi-weekly use and try and stretch this stuff out furthur. The thing that really kills my wallet is all the damn n2O me and my girl do, thats expensive as fuck.

 

[simstim]

My lady friend did not make it to work. She's gone home though awhile ago.

I feel like I understand how @cosmic charlie must feel with his girlfriend a little. I mean my lady friend isn't my girlfriend and we haven't been exclusive so not completely, but it's nice to have someone that will share mdma experiences with me. Also, she doesn't mind me taking other drugs that she wouldn't use. she will just drink and hangout with me.

She tried 1mg of DOC by herself awhile back. She said she would try 2mg with me sometime. I've never tripped with a chick before that would be likely to snuggle and have some fun so that excites me.

I hope she actually will trip with me some day. I've pretty much been single the whole time since my divorce (like 2018) so having a female to hangout with is awesome.

My ex wife would've never tripped or done mdma with me and if she knew I was using drugs she would wig out so this is way better.

 

[SuperPsych]

Well I've had an eventful month or so. Was seeing someone but we broke things off and that's been really tough, I moved in with one of my long time best friends. Been here abouut a week now and so far its been great. WAY better than my last place. We did 4-FMA for like 3 Days straight when I moved in to celebrate and unpack and everything, it was a lot of fun. I'm also about to start a new job cooking at the Zoo.

However, before I moved I had a crazy experience I do not wish to repeat. So this is the scene: I'm at my old place with 2 roomies who I dont care for much, a lot of anxiety in the air. I have a lot of anxiety about moving and the breakup and stress at work, gender identity issues. All of this anxiety is bubbling for a few weeks and I go on a week long dissociative bender. My last dissociative use at the old place I did 3-CL-PCP through the day, then later at night 3-Ho-PCP. Not sure how much I did, but it must have been a lot because I more or less blacked out and I caused my old roomie enough concern to call 911. I remember sitting in the living room with a police officer over me and a couple other strangers. Then I black out. Then in my hallucinations I'm in a homeless shelter in Portland and a bunch of vagrants are on top of me holding me down and I cant breathe. I'm yelling at them to stop getting on top of me because they're killing me and I'm suffocating. In my hallucinations I die, smothered to death by 4 or 5 homeless people. Next thing I know I come to in the hospital, shackled to the bed. They said I was combative. Sit there for what feels like hours until I sober up enough to be discharged. I have basically no clothes so I have to wear to hospital gown and a pair of sweats that a RN got me on the bus ride home, and once off the bus had to walk 2 miles in the hospital gown and slippers, in the snow, until I finally got home.

Since then, I realize that the "homeless" people who were smothering me were cops and EMTs. I came too incredibly sore. Like every muscle in my body was in agonizing pain from fighting for my life. Had a huge scratch down my eye and across my face, bruises all up and down each arm and leg. Like the bottom half of each 4 of my appendages were purple for about 2 weeks. My right ankle is still swollen and bruised. I honestly think the cops may have fractured it because it's been like 3 weeks and its still swollen and bruised as all hell.

It was a very traumatic experience, obviously. But, at the very least, it's got me rethinking my relationship with dissociatives. I've always gone balls to the wall with dissos, but since then I've had 2 dissociative experiences and have kept them at low doses and kept the rest locked up in my time lock safe. I don't ever want to get into a situation like that, ever, ever again.

So yeah, that's where I've been. In the process of moving and changing jobs so I haven't been on much.

One of my managers at my current job said said something to me about the trans community that made me very uncomfortable, so that was the nail in the coffin there. I'm switching jobs. That place is no longer a safe space for me. My partner was a trans woman, I've been struggling with gender identity issues for years and have been considering transitioning as of late, so I'm not going to work in that workplace anymore. I'm gonna go cook food at the Zoo for Kids and Families to enjoy while looking at elephants and monkeys and lions and shit

 

[simstim]

Well I've had an eventful month or so. Was seeing someone but we broke things off and that's been really tough, I moved in with one of my long time best friends. Been here abouut a week now and so far its been great. WAY better than my last place. We did 4-FMA for like 3 Days straight when I moved in to celebrate and unpack and everything, it was a lot of fun. I'm also about to start a new job cooking at the Zoo.

However, before I moved I had a crazy experience I do not wish to repeat. So this is the scene: I'm at my old place with 2 roomies who I dont care for much, a lot of anxiety in the air. I have a lot of anxiety about moving and the breakup and stress at work, gender identity issues. All of this anxiety is bubbling for a few weeks and I go on a week long dissociative bender. My last dissociative use at the old place I did 3-CL-PCP through the day, then later at night 3-Ho-PCP. Not sure how much I did, but it must have been a lot because I more or less blacked out and I caused my old roomie enough concern to call 911. I remember sitting in the living room with a police officer over me and a couple other strangers. Then I black out. Then in my hallucinations I'm in a homeless shelter in Portland and a bunch of vagrants are on top of me holding me down and I cant breathe. I'm yelling at them to stop getting on top of me because they're killing me and I'm suffocating. In my hallucinations I die, smothered to death by 4 or 5 homeless people. Next thing I know I come to in the hospital, shackled to the bed. They said I was combative. Sit there for what feels like hours until I sober up enough to be discharged. I have basically no clothes so I have to wear to hospital gown and a pair of sweats that a RN got me on the bus ride home, and once off the bus had to walk 2 miles in the hospital gown and slippers, in the snow, until I finally got home.

Since then, I realize that the "homeless" people who were smothering me were cops and EMTs. I came too incredibly sore. Like every muscle in my body was in agonizing pain from fighting for my life. Had a huge scratch down my eye and across my face, bruises all up and down each arm and leg. Like the bottom half of each 4 of my appendages were purple for about 2 weeks. My right ankle is still swollen and bruised. I honestly think the cops may have fractured it because it's been like 3 weeks and its still swollen and bruised as all hell.

It was a very traumatic experience, obviously. But, at the very least, it's got me rethinking my relationship with dissociatives. I've always gone balls to the wall with dissos, but since then I've had 2 dissociative experiences and have kept them at low doses and kept the rest locked up in my time lock safe. I don't ever want to get into a situation like that, ever, ever again.

So yeah, that's where I've been. In the process of moving and changing jobs so I haven't been on much.

One of my managers at my current job said said something to me about the trans community that made me very uncomfortable, so that was the nail in the coffin there. I'm switching jobs. That place is no longer a safe space for me. My partner was a trans woman, I've been struggling with gender identity issues for years and have been considering transitioning as of late, so I'm not going to work in that workplace anymore. I'm gonna go cook food at the Zoo for Kids and Families to enjoy while looking at elephants and monkeys and lions and shit

How is 4-FMA? I'm curious. 4-fluoromethcathinone was nice, 4-FA was ok, too, so I would like to try the methamphetamine and compare.

Sorry that you're having issues. I couldn't imagine.

 

[cosmic charlie]

Well I've had an eventful month or so. Was seeing someone but we broke things off and that's been really tough, I moved in with one of my long time best friends. Been here abouut a week now and so far its been great. WAY better than my last place. We did 4-FMA for like 3 Days straight when I moved in to celebrate and unpack and everything, it was a lot of fun. I'm also about to start a new job cooking at the Zoo.

However, before I moved I had a crazy experience I do not wish to repeat. So this is the scene: I'm at my old place with 2 roomies who I dont care for much, a lot of anxiety in the air. I have a lot of anxiety about moving and the breakup and stress at work, gender identity issues. All of this anxiety is bubbling for a few weeks and I go on a week long dissociative bender. My last dissociative use at the old place I did 3-CL-PCP through the day, then later at night 3-Ho-PCP. Not sure how much I did, but it must have been a lot because I more or less blacked out and I caused my old roomie enough concern to call 911. I remember sitting in the living room with a police officer over me and a couple other strangers. Then I black out. Then in my hallucinations I'm in a homeless shelter in Portland and a bunch of vagrants are on top of me holding me down and I cant breathe. I'm yelling at them to stop getting on top of me because they're killing me and I'm suffocating. In my hallucinations I die, smothered to death by 4 or 5 homeless people. Next thing I know I come to in the hospital, shackled to the bed. They said I was combative. Sit there for what feels like hours until I sober up enough to be discharged. I have basically no clothes so I have to wear to hospital gown and a pair of sweats that a RN got me on the bus ride home, and once off the bus had to walk 2 miles in the hospital gown and slippers, in the snow, until I finally got home.

Since then, I realize that the "homeless" people who were smothering me were cops and EMTs. I came too incredibly sore. Like every muscle in my body was in agonizing pain from fighting for my life. Had a huge scratch down my eye and across my face, bruises all up and down each arm and leg. Like the bottom half of each 4 of my appendages were purple for about 2 weeks. My right ankle is still swollen and bruised. I honestly think the cops may have fractured it because it's been like 3 weeks and its still swollen and bruised as all hell.

It was a very traumatic experience, obviously. But, at the very least, it's got me rethinking my relationship with dissociatives. I've always gone balls to the wall with dissos, but since then I've had 2 dissociative experiences and have kept them at low doses and kept the rest locked up in my time lock safe. I don't ever want to get into a situation like that, ever, ever again.

So yeah, that's where I've been. In the process of moving and changing jobs so I haven't been on much.

One of my managers at my current job said said something to me about the trans community that made me very uncomfortable, so that was the nail in the coffin there. I'm switching jobs. That place is no longer a safe space for me. My partner was a trans woman, I've been struggling with gender identity issues for years and have been considering transitioning as of late, so I'm not going to work in that workplace anymore. I'm gonna go cook food at the Zoo for Kids and Families to enjoy while looking at elephants and monkeys and lions and shit

Sorry to hear about the troubles, life can be difficult i hear yeah. Dissociative abuse can lead to absolute trainwrecks and sabotage your whole life. Ive had a number of run-ins with Cops/EMTs when i was completely blitz on the more direct PCP/PCE analogs. They are absolutely not the sort of things to try and push the limit with cuz the line between a goodtime and temporary psychosis/blackout can be pretty thin. They make me compulsively redose sometimes which is absolutely not necessary cuz i will already be really fucked up.

If the timelock safe isnt made out of metal i wouldnt even trust it with me cuz ive broken the plastic ones with a hammer more than once. But that being said i dont have a problem with all dissos, the MXE like drugs im able to tolerate well. The positive effects outweigh the risks for me so i continue to indulge, i can get by with taking them a couple days a week.

Even that is a little much tho and im trying to reign it in. As much as i love the manic euphoria of the others im just not willing to sabotage everything right now, everything is going well for me right now. How long were you blacked out for it sounds like awhile from ypur story. Depending on the dose i generally lose an hour and a whole lot of shit can happen in that time period.

Good luck with the new job

 

[Xorkoth]

@SuperPsych... wow, I'm sorry everything is so rough right now. I remember how excited you were about your partner... sorry that didn't work out. And I'm glad you're alright after that experience.

My ex wife would've never tripped or done mdma with me and if she knew I was using drugs she would wig out so this is way better.

Mine too, she thought psychedelics were "for stupid middle school kids", and when she eventually found out I was tripping behind her back, she made me flush my whole stash and leave Bluelight. My girlfriend now knows all about it, she rarely ever uses drugs anymore but we've tripped together a few times. She thinks I do too many drugs. And she's right. But she doesn't try to tell me what to do or anything. She's not really worried about the tripping at all, it's the other stuff.

How is 4-FMA? I'm curious. 4-fluoromethcathinone was nice, 4-FA was ok, too, so I would like to try the methamphetamine and compare.

Sorry that you're having issues. I couldn't imagine.

4-FMA is awesome. The OG 4-FA was better, I think, all the batches I've tried since it got banned everywhere have been nowhere near as good. 4-FMA is like a more rolly meth.

 

[Xorkoth]

Yes, a bit. Pushier than 4-FA, less than meth. Honestly it's pretty much halfway between 4-FA and meth.

 

[Xorkoth]

Today is the anniversary of my dad's death. I still haven't fully processed that whole ordeal. His actual death was a blessing, he had wanted to die for years. The real trauma was watching ALS change him from the strongest, kindest, most giving man I've known, to an anxious, miserable shell of himself.

My family is going to do a Zoom with me this evening because they're all gathering at my mom's house, and I'm 750 miles away.

 

[porkstock]

Death in the family is a major drag - you have my sympathy Xork. Has it only been one year? That's probably the toughest one, but I image it stays tough for a long while. My wife lost her dad maybe 3 years ago in March and it's still a particularly emotional month for her.

My great uncle just passed away yesterday. Wasn't the closest with him, especially since I've grown up. But despite being a grumpy opinionated ass to be honest, he was there for me when I was a kid. And it's a huge bummer knowing he's leaving behind some people who loved him far more than I did.

Getting into my late 30s and death is more prevalent in my personal life than ever. And it obviously just keep coming. My great aunt (not the wife of recently dead uncle, she would be his sister in law)..has lost soooo many people in her life, I dunno how she keeps going. No other choice I guess. She lost her sister (my grandma) and her son (my cousin and groomsman in my wedding) within a year of each other. Don't mean to make this so self centric. Death truly affects us all, and gets us all eventually. My experience if it seems "fractal" in a way, like a spiral that starts out slow and insignificant but gets faster and faster until you eventually fall into in and are consumed

In other news: Happy 311 day!

 

[JackARoe]

My condolences Xoroth. I know it was not a pleasant exit for your dad with but now he is rolling around heaven. Same place we are headed. I mean getting older we literally breaking down in ways physically.

Yeah as soon as we are born we have a fatal disease. In a way I am envious of people who have already gone through this. Both my parents are 90 and on the cusp. Thankfully healthy and mind is just fine. But that anticipatory grief is really getting to me. So I have a lot of respect for people that have had a parent pass on. It really moves the inner being more than anything else. When my brother was killed 32 years ago I realized half of what I am is because of him. (he took me to my first Grateful Dead concert in 1980 and many more after that, turned me on to weed, etc....) Like a piece of the person becomes part of us.

I have to look up 311 day.

 

[Xorkoth]

Death in the family is a major drag - you have my sympathy Xork. Has it only been one year? That's probably the toughest one, but I image it stays tough for a long while. My wife lost her dad maybe 3 years ago in March and it's still a particularly emotional month for her.

My great uncle just passed away yesterday. Wasn't the closest with him, especially since I've grown up. But despite being a grumpy opinionated ass to be honest, he was there for me when I was a kid. And it's a huge bummer knowing he's leaving behind some people who loved him far more than I did.

Getting into my late 30s and death is more prevalent in my personal life than ever. And it obviously just keep coming. My great aunt (not the wife of recently dead uncle, she would be his sister in law)..has lost soooo many people in her life, I dunno how she keeps going. No other choice I guess. She lost her sister (my grandma) and her son (my cousin and groomsman in my wedding) within a year of each other. Don't mean to make this so self centric. Death truly affects us all, and gets us all eventually. My experience if it seems "fractal" in a way, like a spiral that starts out slow and insignificant but gets faster and faster until you eventually fall into in and are consumed

In other news: Happy 311 day!

No, he died in 2019, so it's been a while. I just read through the memoir that my mom compiled and gave us for his first death anniversary, full of letters and photos from all sorts of people we/he/they knew. I've read it before but not in 2 years. Had a really big, extended cry, but it was a good thing.